A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
the earth. And the noble Arthur fell in a swoon to the earth, and
there he swooned oft-times—”
“That is a good piece of war correspondence, Clarence; you are
a first-rate newspaper man. Well--is the king all right? Did
he get well?”
“Poor soul, no. He is dead.”
I was utterly stunned; it had not seemed to me that any wound
could be mortal to him.
“And the queen, Clarence?”
“She is a nun, in Almesbury.”
“What changes! and in such a short while. It is inconceivable.
What next, I wonder?”
“I can tell you what next.”
“Well?”
“Stake our lives and stand by them!”
“What do you mean by that?”
“The Church is master now. The Interdict included you with Mordred;
it is not to be removed while you remain alive. The clans are
gathering. The Church has gathered all the knights that are left
alive, and as soon as you are discovered we shall have business
on our hands.”
“Stuff! With our deadly scientific war-material; with our hosts
of trained--”
“Save your breath--we haven't sixty faithful left!”
“What are you saying? Our schools, our colleges, our vast
workshops, our--”
“When those knights come, those establishments will empty themselves
and go over to the enemy. Did you think you had educated the
superstition out of those people?”
“I certainly did think it.”
“Well, then, you may unthink it. They stood every strain easily
--until the Interdict. Since then, they merely put on a bold
outside--at heart they are quaking. Make up your mind to it
--when the armies come, the mask will fall.”
“It's hard news. We are lost. They will turn our own science
against us.”
“No they won't.”
“Why?”
“Because I and a handful of the faithful have blocked that game.
I'll tell you what I've done, and what moved me to it. Smart as
you are, the Church was smarter. It was the Church that sent
you cruising--through her servants, the doctors.”
“Clarence!”
“It is the truth. I know it. Every officer of your ship was
the Church's picked servant, and so was every man of the crew.”
“Oh, come!”
“It is just as I tell you. I did not find out these things at once,
but I found them out finally. Did you send me verbal information,
by the commander of the ship, to the effect that upon his return
to you, with supplies, you were going to leave Cadiz--”
“Cadiz! I haven't been at Cadiz at all!”
“--going to leave Cadiz and cruise in distant seas indefinitely,
for the health of your family? Did you send me that word?”
“Of course not. I would have written, wouldn't I?”
“Naturally. I was troubled and suspicious. When the commander
sailed again I managed to ship a spy with him. I have never
heard of vessel or spy since. I gave myself two weeks to hear
from you in. Then I resolved to send a ship to Cadiz. There was
a reason why I didn't.”
“What was that?”
“Our navy had suddenly and mysteriously disappeared! Also, as
suddenly and as mysteriously, the railway and telegraph and
telephone service ceased, the men all deserted, poles were cut
down, the Church laid a ban upon the electric light! I had to be
up and doing--and straight off. Your life was safe--nobody in
these kingdoms but Merlin would venture to touch such a magician
as you without ten thousand men at his back--I had nothing to
think of but how to put preparations in the best trim against your
coming. I felt safe myself--nobody would be anxious to touch
a pet of yours. So this is what I did. From our various works
I selected all the men--boys I mean--whose faithfulness under
whatsoever pressure I could swear to, and I called them together
secretly and gave them their instructions. There are fifty-two of
them; none younger than fourteen, and none above seventeen years old.”
“Why did you select boys?”
“Because all the others were born in an atmosphere of superstition
and reared in it. It is in their blood and bones. We imagined
we had educated it out of them; they thought so, too; the Interdict
woke them up like a thunderclap! It revealed them to themselves,
and it revealed them to me, too. With boys it was different. Such
as have been under our training from seven to ten years have had
no acquaintance with the Church's terrors, and it was among these
that I found my fifty-two. As a next move, I paid a private visit
to that old cave of Merlin's--not the small one--the big one--”
“Yes, the one where we secretly established our first great electric
plant when I was projecting a miracle.”
“Just so. And as that miracle hadn't become necessary then,
I thought it might be a good idea to utilize the plant now. I've
provisioned the cave for a siege--”
“A good idea, a first-rate idea.”
“I think so. I placed four of my boys there as a guard--inside,
and out of sight. Nobody was to be hurt--while outside; but any
attempt to enter--well, we said just let anybody try it! Then
I went out into the hills and uncovered and cut the secret wires
which connected your bedroom with the wires that go to the dynamite
deposits under all our vast factories, mills, workshops, magazines,
etc., and about midnight I and my boys turned out and connected
that wire with the cave, and nobody but you and I suspects where
the other end of it goes to. We laid it under ground, of course, and
it was all finished in a couple of hours or so. We sha'n't have
to leave our fortress now when we want to blow up our civilization.”
“It was the right move--and the natural one; military necessity,
in the changed condition of things. Well, what changes _have_ come!
We expected to be besieged in the palace some time or other, but
--however, go on.”
“Next, we built a wire fence.”
“Wire fence?”
“Yes. You dropped the hint of it yourself, two or three years ago.”
“Oh, I remember--the time the Church tried her strength against
us the first time, and presently thought it wise to wait for a
hopefuler season. Well, how have you arranged the fence?”
“I start twelve immensely strong wires--naked, not insulated
--from a big dynamo in the cave--dynamo with no brushes except
a positive and a negative one--”
“Yes, that's right.”
“The wires go out from the cave and fence in a circle of level
ground a hundred yards in diameter; they make twelve independent
fences, ten feet apart--that is to say, twelve circles within
circles--and their ends come into the cave again.”
“Right; go on.”
“The fences are fastened to heavy oaken posts only three feet apart,
and these posts are sunk five feet in the ground.”
“That is good and strong.”
“Yes. The wires have no ground-connection outside of the cave.
They go out from the positive brush of the dynamo; there is a
ground-connection through the negative brush; the other ends of
the wire return to the cave, and each is grounded independently.”
“No, no, that won't do!”
“Why?”
“It's too expensive--uses up force for nothing. You don't want
any ground-connection except the one through the negative brush.
The other end of every wire must be brought back into the cave
and fastened independently, and _without_ any ground-connection.
Now, then, observe the economy of it. A cavalry charge hurls
itself against the fence; you are using no power, you are spending
no money, for there is only one ground-connection till those horses
come against the wire; the moment they touch it they form a
connection with the negative brush _through the ground_, and drop
dead. Don't you see?--you are using no energy until it is needed;
your lightning is there, and ready, like the load in a gun; but
it isn't costing you a cent till you touch it off. Oh, yes, the
single ground-connection--”
“Of course! I don't know how I overlooked that. It's not only
cheaper, but it's more effectual than the other way, for if wires
break or get tangled, no harm is done.”
“No, especially if we have a tell-tale in the cave and disconnect
the broken wire. Well, go on. The gatlings?”
“Yes--that's arranged. In the center of the inner circle, on a
spacious platform six feet high, I've grouped a battery of thirteen
gatling guns, and provided plenty of ammunition.”
“That's it. They command every approach, and when the Church's
knights arrive, there's going to be music. The brow of the
precipice over the cave--”
“I've got a wire fence there, and a gatling. They won't drop any
rocks down on us.”
“Well, and the glass-cylinder dynamite torpedoes?”
“That's attended to. It's the prettiest garden that was ever
planted. It's a belt forty feet wide, and goes around the outer
fence--distance between it and the fence one hundred yards--kind of
neutral ground that space is. There isn't a single square yard
of that whole belt but is equipped with a torpedo. We laid them
on the surface of the ground, and sprinkled a layer of sand over
them. It's an innocent looking garden, but you let a man start
in to hoe it once, and you'll see.”
“You tested the torpedoes?”
“Well, I was going to, but--”
“But what? Why, it's an immense oversight not to apply a--”
“Test? Yes, I know; but they're all right; I laid a few in the
public road beyond our lines and they've been tested.”
“Oh, that alters the case. Who did it?”
“A Church committee.”
“How kind!”
“Yes. They came to command us to make submission. You see they
didn't really come to test the torpedoes; that was merely an incident.”
“Did the committee make a report?”
“Yes, they made one. You could have heard it a mile.”
“Unanimous?”
“That was the nature of it. After that I put up some signs, for the
protection of future committees, and we have had no intruders since.”
“Clarence, you've done a world of work, and done it perfectly.”
“We had plenty of time for it; there wasn't any occasion for hurry.”
We sat silent awhile, thinking. Then my mind was made up, and
I said:
“Yes, everything is ready; everything is shipshape, no detail is
wanting. I know what to do now.”
“So do I; sit down and wait.”
“No, _sir_! rise up and _strike_!”
“Do you mean it?”
“Yes, indeed! The _de_fensive isn't in my line, and the _of_fensive
is. That is, when I hold a fair hand--two-thirds as good a hand
as the enemy. Oh, yes, we'll rise up and strike; that's our game.”
“A hundred to one you are right. When does the performance begin?”
“_Now!_ We'll proclaim the Republic.”
“Well, that _will_ precipitate things, sure enough!”
“It will make them buzz, I tell you! England will be a hornets'
nest before noon to-morrow, if the Church's hand hasn't lost its
cunning--and we know it hasn't. Now you write and I'll dictate thus:
“PROCLAMATION
“BE IT KNOWN UNTO ALL. Whereas the king having died and left no
heir, it becomes my duty to continue the executive authority vested
in me, until a government shall have been created and set in
motion. The monarchy has lapsed, it no longer exists. By
consequence, all political power has reverted to its original
source, the people of the nation. With the monarchy, its several
adjuncts died also; wherefore there is no longer a nobility, no
longer a privileged class, no longer an Established Church; all men
are become exactly equal; they are upon one common level, and
religion is free. _A Republic is hereby proclaimed_, as being the
natural estate of a nation when other authority has ceased. It is
the duty of the British people to meet together immediately, and by
their votes elect representatives and deliver into their hands the
government.”
I signed it “The Boss,” and dated it from Merlin's Cave.
Clarence said--
“Why, that tells where we are, and invites them to call right away.”
“That is the idea. We _strike_--by the Proclamation--then it's