A journey to the world under-ground
The Time now drawing near, and the Insects failing which supply’d them
with Food, the Birds mount upon Wing, and cutting the Air, return to
the Place from whence they came. Such was this wonderful Passage, by
which I and several other Exiles were to be translated to a new World.
There were also at this Time two Citizens of _Potu_, who for different
Crimes were sentenc’d to Banishment, and were now preparing for their
Journey. One of these was a Metaphysician, who had incurr’d this
Punishment by disputing concerning the Essence of God, and the Nature
of spiritual Substances. He had satisfy’d the Law for his first Offence
of this Kind, by undergoing the Punishment of _the Arm_; but being a
second Time detected, he was condemn’d to be banish’d to the Firmament.
The other was a Fanatick, who having conceiv’d some Doubts concerning
Religion, and concerning the civil Rights of the State, attempted to
subvert the Foundations of each. He refus’d to obey the publick Laws,
under Pretence that such Obedience was contrary to the Dictates of his
Conscience. His Friends endeavour’d, by the most powerful Arguments,
to cure him of this Conceit, by shewing him how many Delusions these
Impulses of Conscience and imaginary Inspirations were subject to;
they told him, that Zeal and Conscience were often confounded with
Melancholy and certain corrupt Humours of the Body; they demonstrated
to him the egregious Folly of thus appealing to the Authority of
Conscience, and how unjust it was to contend that the Impulses of
his Mind should be a Rule to others, who might make use of the same
Argument, and oppose Conscience to Conscience. At last they prov’d to
him, that whoever firmly held this Principle, pretending Conscience for
his Disobedience, ought to be excluded from the Rights and Benefits
of the Community, since every good Subject should pay an implicit
Obedience to the Laws; but that a Fanatick neither cou’d nor wou’d pay
such an Obedience, since his Conscience was his sole Rule of Politicks.
But as these Reasons had no Effect upon the Mind of our Fanatick, he
continued obstinate and incorrigible, and so was condemn’d to the
Firmament. Thus at this Time there were only three of us to undergo
this Punishment, a Projector, a Metaphysician, and a Fanatick.
About the Beginning of the Month of _Birches_, we were all carry’d
from Prison to separate Places. What became of the Metaphysician and
the Fanatick I know not, as being too full of Cares for myself to mind
any Thing else. Being brought to the destin’d Place of Departure, I
was forthwith thrust into the Box or Cage, with as much Provision as
would serve me for two or three Days. Soon after this, when the Birds
found no more Flies brought them, as if they took the Hint, they left
the Place, and flew off with incredible Celerity. The Distance of the
Firmament from the Planet _Nazar_, is reputed by the Subterraneans to
be about an hundred Miles. How long I was in passing from the one to
the other I cannot say, but to me this ætherial Voyage seem’d to be
no more than about four and twenty Hours. After a profound Silence,
at last a confus’d Noise seem’d to reach my Ears, from whence I
conjectur’d I was not far from Land. Then it was I perceiv’d that these
Birds had been carefully exercis’d and instructed; for with great Art
and Care they landed their Burden, so as not in the least to injure
or hurt it. In a Moment I was surrounded with a prodigious Number of
Monkies, the Sight of which put me into a very great Fright, remembring
what I had suffer’d from these Animals upon the Planet _Nazar_. But my
Fright redoubled, when I heard these Monkies articulately discourse
with one another, and when I beheld them clad in diverse-colour’d
Vestments. I then conjectur’d that they were the Inhabitants of this
Country. But as after that Heap of Wonders I had been accustom’d to,
nothing now could well seem new or strange, I began to recover my
Courage, especially as I had observ’d that these Creatures approach’d
me with an Air of Civility and Good-nature, taking me gently out of
my Cage, and receiving me with the Humanity due to Strangers. Even
Ambassadors in our World are hardly receiv’d with more Ceremony than I
was. They all came one after another, and address’d me in these Words,
_Pul Asser_. When they had repeated this Salutation pretty often, I
repeated the same Words. Upon this they set up an immoderate Laugh, and
by a Multitude of comic Gestures, signify’d they were highly delighted
to hear me pronounce them. This made me conclude these People to be a
light, babbling Race of Creatures, and vast Admirers of Novelty. When
they spoke, you wou’d think so many Drums were beating, with so much
Volubility, and so little out of Breath, they held on their Chattering.
In a Word, as to Dress, Manners, Speech, and Form of Body, they were
the very Reverse of the _Potuans_. At first they were all astonish’d at
my Figure, and the chief Reason of that Astonishment was, that I wanted
a Tail. For as among the whole Brute Creation none so much resemble the
human Form as Monkies, so, had I had a Tail, they would have taken me
for one of their own Species, especially as all those who had hitherto
been transported from the Planet _Nazar_ to this Place, were of a Form
extremely unlike their own. About the Time of my Arrival here the Sea
ran very high, by reason of the near Approach of the Planet _Nazar_:
For as with us the Tides of the Ocean correspond with the Course of the
Moon, so the Ocean of this Firmament increases and decreases according
to the Vicinity or Remoteness of the aforesaid Planet.
Presently I was conducted to a very noble House, all beautifully set
off with costly Stone, Marble, Mirrors, Vases, and Tapestry. At the
Gate were Centinels posted, which gave me to understand that this
could not be the Dwelling of a vulgar Monkey. And I was soon inform’d,
that it was the House of the Consul or chief Magistrate. He was very
desirous of conversing with me, and therefore hir’d some Masters to
instruct me in their Language. Near three Months had been spent upon
my Instruction, at the Expiration of which, as I could now speak the
Tongue pretty fluently, I hop’d to gain the Applause and Admiration of
all, upon Account of the Forwardness of my Genius, and the Strength of
my Memory. But my Tutors thought me slower and duller than ordinary,
insomuch that they lost all Patience, and threaten’d to leave me off.
And as at _Potu_ I was call’d in Derision _Scabba_, or Quick-Parts,
so here, by reason of my Stupidity and Dulness, they gave me the
Name of _Kadicoran_, which signifies a Clown, or Dunce. For those
alone are here esteem’d, who are quick and nimble, and cover their
Sense in a confus’d and rapid Volley of Words. While I was learning
the Monkey-Language, my Host took me round the City, which I beheld
dissolv’d in every Kind of Luxury. What with the Multitude of Coaches,
Chaises, Valets, and a Croud of People hurrying every Way, we were
obliged to use a Sort of Force to get on. Yet this was nothing, if
compar’d to that Luxury which reign’d in the Metropolis, where, as in
its Center, you might see all that mortal Vanity could invent. Being
now taught the Language, I was brought to this famous Capital by my
Host, who hop’d to purchase the Favour of a Senator, by making him a
Present of so uncommon a Curiosity as I was. For the Form of Government
here is aristocratical, so that the Sovereign Authority resides in the
Grand Senate, the Members of which are all noble from first to last.
None of plebeian Family can ever hope to be more than a Centurion or
Prætor in the Provinces or lesser Cities. Sometimes, indeed, one of
this Class may arrive at the Consulate, yet never without some very
extraordinary Merit. Thus it was my Host obtain’d the Consulship; for
so fertile was his Genius, that in the Space of one Month, he projected
twenty-eight new Laws. And though not half of them were calculated
for the Good of the Publick, yet they were Specimens of a fruitful
Invention, and procur’d him a great Character. For throughout the
whole subterranean World, there is no Place where Projectors are in
more Esteem than in this. The capital City is call’d _Martinia_; it
gives Name to the whole Country, and is famous for its fine Situation,
for the Grandeur of its Buildings, its Commerce, and naval Force. For
Extent of Ground, and Number of Inhabitants, I believe it may rival
_Paris_. So crouded was every Street, that we were forc’d to beat our
Way through to go to that Part of the City where the Syndick of the
Senate liv’d. For he it was to whom the Consul was to present me.
When we drew near to the Syndick’s House, my Friend the Consul went
into an Inn, to put himself in Order, and to compose his Person and
Habit in a Manner fit to appear before the Syndick. Immediately there
appear’d a little Army of occasional Valets or Footmen, commonly call’d
_Maskatti_, whose Assistance every one makes use of before they enter
the Palaces of the Senators. These brush your Cloaths, take out the
Spots, and with the exactest Care adjust whatever is discompos’d,
even to the smallest Plait. One of these _Maskatti_ took the Consul’s
Sword, and wip’d it clean and bright, and then return’d it him. Another
dress’d his Tail with Ribbands of various Colours: For these Monkies
have nothing more at Heart than the Ornaments of their Tails. There
were some Senators, and especially some of the Wives of the Senators,
whose Tails on high Occasions could scarcely be dress’d out to the
best Advantage under two or three hundred Pounds Sterling. A third
approach’d the Consul with a geometrical Instrument, to take the
Dimensions of his Cloaths, and to see if all hung in due Proportion. A
fourth brought a Bottle of Paint, and with it improv’d his Visage. A
fifth examin’d his Feet, from which he par’d the Superfluities. A sixth
brought him perfum’d Water to wash with. In short, one brought a Towel,
another a Comb, another a Looking-Glass, and all with an Exactness not
inferior to that of a Geometrician measuring and adorning his Map. Oh!
thought I to myself, how much Time and Expence must the Dress of the
Ladies here require, when there is so much Fuss in tricking out one of
our Sex? And, indeed, the _Martinian_ Ladies exceed all Bounds, and
cover their Defects with such a Load of Paint, as makes their Persons
offensive. For when the Sweat and Paint are pretty well united, it
exhales an Odour like that of your great Kitchens; what you smell you
know not, but this you know, that it is something very disagreeable.
My Host thus painted, powder’d, comb’d and polish’d, went to the
Syndick’s Palace, attended only with three Valets. When he came to
the Court-Yard he pull’d off his Shoes, lest he should afterwards
disoblige the Marble Floor with Dirt or Dust. He was forc’d to stay a
full Hour before the Syndick was inform’d that he was there, nor was
he introduc’d without a proper Gratification to some of the Guards and
Servants. The Syndick, seated on a gilt Settee, as soon as he espy’d
me entring with my Host, burst out into an ungovernable Laughter, and
afterward ask’d me a thousand trifling, foolish Questions. To every
Reply I made him, he redoubled his Fits of Laughter.
_Ingeminat tremulos naso crispante cachinnos._
For my Part, I was of Opinion, that to play the Buffoon was reckon’d
among the Virtues here, since the Government had made this Person
Syndick, which is the second Dignity in the Senate; and I observ’d
as much to my Friend. But he assur’d me, he was a Monkey of great
Abilities, as appear’d from the Multitude of Business of various
Sorts, which even in his greener Years he went through. For such was
his Readiness of Perception, that even over a Glass he would transact