A journey to the world under-ground
infer, that that Oak was far above the vulgar Sort; and, indeed, I soon
understood that it was the Prætor himself, and the very Person whose
Wife I was said to have so highly affronted. Forthwith they hurried
me to the Prætor’s House; upon my Entrance into which, the Doors were
immediately lock’d and bolted upon me, so that I look’d upon myself as
one condemn’d to a Gaol. What greatly contributed to this Fear was,
that there were three Guards plac’d without, like Centinels, each of
them arm’d with six Axes, according to the Number of their Branches;
for as many Branches as they had, so many Arms they had; and as many
Buds at the Extremities, so many Fingers. I observed, that on the Top
of the Trunks or Bodies of the Trees their Heads were plac’d, not at
all unlike human Heads; and instead of Roots, I saw two Feet, and those
very short, by Reason of which the Pace they us’d was almost as slow
as that of a Tortoise; so that had I been at Liberty, it had been very
easy for me to have escap’d their Hands, since my Motion was perfect
Flying compar’d to theirs.
To be short, I now plainly perceived, that the Inhabitants of this
Globe were Trees, and that they were endued with Reason; and I was lost
in Wonder at that Variety in which Nature wantons in the Formation of
her Creatures. These Trees do by no Means equal ours in Height, scarce
any of them exceeding the common and ordinary Stature of a Man; some
indeed were less; these one would call Flowers or Shrubs; and such I
conjectur’d were Youths and Infants.
Words cannot express into what a Labyrinth of Thought these strange
Appearances threw me, how many Sighs they extorted from me, and how
passionately I longed after the dear Place of my Nativity. For altho’
these Trees seemed to me to be sociable Creatures, to enjoy the Benefit
of Language, and to be endued with a certain Degree or Portion of
Reason, insomuch that they had a Right to be inserted in the Class of
rational Animals, yet I much doubted whether they could be compar’d to
Men; I could not bring myself to think, that Justice, Mercy, and the
other moral Virtues had any Residence among them. Rack’d with these
Thoughts, my Bowels yearned, and Rivers of Tears flowed down my Cheeks.
But while I was thus indulging my Grief, and pouring out my silent
Complaints in such unmanly Sorrows, the Guards entered my Chamber,
whom I looked upon as so many _Roman_ Lictors, considering the Axes
they bore. These marching before me, I was led thro’ the City to a
very lofty Dome in the Center of the _Forum_, or great Market-Place.
I seemed to myself to be greater than a _Roman_ Consul, and to have
obtained the Honour of a Dictator; for there were but twelve Axes
attended the Consuls, whereas I was attended by eighteen. On the
folding Doors of the Dome, to which I was led, a Figure of Justice
was carved, holding a Pair of Scales with her Branches or Arms: This
Image had a Virgin-Air, an earnest Look, a piercing Sight, with a
certain venerable Dejection that made her appear not too proud, nor
yet too humble. This Place I clearly perceived was the Senate-House.
Being introduced into Court, the Floor of which shone with Marble of
tessellated or _Mosaic_ Workmanship; I there beheld a Tree seated on
a Golden Tribunal, with twelve Associates sitting on either Hand on
so many Benches in the most exact and elegant Order. The President
on the Tribunal was a Palm-Tree, of a middling Stature, but easily
distinguish’d from the rest of the Assistants, by the great Variety
of her Leaves, which were of various Dyes: The inferior Officers, to
the Number of twenty-four, guarded each Side, all armed with six Axes
apiece. A most tremendous Prospect! since from so much Armour it was
natural to infer they were a People that delighted in Blood.
The Senators, at my Entrance, extended their Branches toward the Skies;
which Ceremony being ended, they sat down again; and being all seated,
I was brought to the Bar between two Trees, whose Trunks or Bodies
were covered with Sheep-Skins. I suspected they were Lawyers, and such
in good Truth they were. Before they began to plead, the President
wrapt his Head in a Garment of a dark Colour. One of these Advocates
made a very short Speech, which he thrice repeated; to which the other
Advocate replied with equal Brevity: These Pleadings were followed by
a Silence of Half an Hour: Then the President, removing the Covering
from her Head, rose up, and again extending her Branches toward the
Sky, pronounc’d certain Words, which I supposed contained my Sentence;
for at the End of the Speech I was dismiss’d back to my old Prison, and
confin’d there, as I guess’d, to be in Readiness to be brought forth to
Punishment.
Being left alone, and revolving in my Memory every Thing that had
happened, I could not forbear smiling at the Stupidity of this People;
for they seemed rather to be acting a Play than exercising Justice,
and every Thing I had seen, their Gesture, their Dress, and Method of
Proceeding seem’d to favour more of the Buffoonery of the Stage, than
the awful Tribunal of Justice. Then I congratulated the Happiness of
our World, and the Superiority of the _Europeans_ to all others. But
tho’ I arraigned the Folly and Dulness of this subterraneous Nation,
yet I was forced to own that they ought to be distinguished from the
Brute Creation; for the Elegance of the City, the Symmetry of the
Buildings, with several other Particulars, loudly proclaimed that these
Trees were not devoid of Reason, nor altogether ignorant of the Arts,
especially Mechanicks; but then it was in this alone that I thought all
their Virtues, all their whole Perfection consisted.
While I was holding this silent Conference with myself, a Tree enters
holding a Lancet in his Hand; who unbuttoning my Bosom, and making
bare my Arm, opened the middle Vein quite like an Artist. When he
had drawn as much Blood as he thought sufficient, he bound up my Arm
with equal Dexterity. This being performed, he inspected the Blood
with the deepest Attention; and being perfectly satisfied, he walked
away in a Kind of silent Admiration: All this confirmed me in the
Opinion I had entertained of the Stupidity of this Nation. But as
soon as I had thoroughly learnt the subterranean Language, and all
these Things had been explained to me, my Disdain was turned into
Admiration. The Proceedings at Law, which I had so rashly condemned,
were thus explained. From the Make of my Body, they inferred I was
an Inhabitant of the Firmament. I appeared to have attempted the
Chastity of an honourable Matron, and one of prime Quality. For this
Crime I was dragged to the Bar of Justice. One of the Advocates or
Lawyers aggravated the Crime, demanding the Punishment due by Law;
the other requested not that the Punishment should be remitted, but
only that it should be deferr’d, till it could be discover’d what, and
who I was, and of what Country; whether a brute Animal, or a rational
one. Moreover I learnt, that the Action of the Judges extending their
Branches towards Heaven, was the ordinary Ceremony of Religion before
they proceeded to Trial. The Lawyers were all covered with Sheep-Skins,
as Emblems of Innocence and Impartiality in the Management of their
Causes; and indeed all the Lawyers here were Men of Probity; which
shews that in a well-constituted Government it is not impossible, but
that there may be honest Lawyers. So severe were the Laws against
knavish Advocates, that Fraud and foul Play could not escape Detection,
Perfidiousness could find no Shelter, Slander no Mercy, Impudence no
Countenance, and Deceit no Impunity. The three-fold Repetition of Words
was made use of to assist the Slowness of their Perception, in which
the Natives of this Globe were distinguished from all others; for very
few could comprehend what they had only cursorily read, or understand
what they had only once heard. Those whose forward Capacities took a
Thing presently, were deem’d defective in Judgment, and therefore it
was seldom that such were admitted to any weighty Posts or Offices; for
they had learnt by Experience, that the Government had been endanger’d
when in the Hands of those who were quick of Apprehension, and who were
commonly styl’d great Geniuses; but that those of slower Capacities
had restored to Order what the others had thrown into Confusion. These
Things were Paradoxes to me, yet upon a more serious Recollection, they
seemed not altogether absurd. But the History of the President fill’d
me with the greatest Astonishment. She was a Virgin, and a Native of
that City, and by the then reigning Sovereign was appointed _Kaki_,
or supreme Judge in the City: For among these People there was no
Difference of Sexes observed in the Distribution of publick Posts; but
an Election being made, the Affairs of the Republick were committed
to the wisest and most worthy. And in order to form a right Judgment
of the Proficience, or of the intellectual Endowments of every one,
there were proper Seminaries instituted, the chief Directors of which
were styl’d _Karatti_ (a Word that strictly signifies Inquisitors.)
It was their Office to inspect into every one’s Abilities, to inquire
nicely into the Genius of the Youth, and after such Inquiry to transmit
annually to their Prince an Account or List of such as were to be
admitted to all Duties and Posts of Government, and to point out at
the same Time, in what Particular every one of them was most likely
to be of Service to the State. The Prince upon the Receipt of such
Catalogue ordered their Names to be inscrib’d in a Book, that he might
never be at a Loss what Sort of Persons to prefer to the vacant Posts.
The aforesaid Virgin four Years before had obtained a most honourable
Testimonial from the _Karatti_, and upon that Account was by the
Sovereign appointed President of the City in which she was born. This
Rule they observe constantly and inviolably, because they believe that
the Welfare of any Place will be best consulted and pursued by those
who are Natives of it. _Palmka_ (that was the Name of the Virgin) for
the Space of three Years govern’d this truly _Spartan_ Commonwealth
with the highest Applause, and was esteem’d the wisest Tree in all the
City; for so great was her Dulness of Apprehension, that she hardly
ever conceiv’d a Thing without its being thrice or four times repeated.
But what she once apprehended she thoroughly understood, and with such
Acumen solv’d every Difficulty in it, that her Decrees were deem’d so
many Oracles.
_Novit enim justum gemina suspendere lance
Ancipitis libræ, rectum discrevit, ubi inter
Curva subit, vel cum fallit pede regula raro._
And hence there were no judicial Decrees of hers during her
Administration of Justice, which were not confirmed and applauded
by the High Court of Justice at _Potu_, the Capital of the Empire:
Therefore the Institution in Favour of the weaker Sex, which at first
View I had condemn’d, had nothing absurd in it upon a more accurate
Review. Bless me! thought I, what if the Wife of our Mayor of _Bergen_
were to sit in Judgment instead of her Husband? What if the Daughter
of Counsellor _Severini_, that all-accomplish’d young Lady, were
to plead at the Bar instead of her stupid Father? Our Laws would
never receive the least Dishonour from them, nor would Justice be so
often violated. Moreover, I was of Opinion, since in the _European_
Courts of Law, Causes were so soon determin’d, that such sudden
and hasty Determinations, were they to undergo a strict Scrutiny,
would by no Means pass without Censure. To proceed to explain some
other Things. The Reason of the _Venæ-section_ or Letting Blood, I
understood to be this: When any one was convicted of a Crime, instead
of whipping, maiming, or capital Punishments, he was condemned to the