A journey to the world under-ground
by Nations so polite, should have continued so long in their Barbarity.
But they were in this Respect like some other Nations, who though
ignorant of what passes in foreign Countries, entertain a high Conceit
of themselves, and who having no Commerce or Communication with
others, live hugely contented in their own Sordidness and Ignorance, of
which it would be very easy to produce Instances among the _Europeans_.
This Defeat became a new Æra among the _Tanachites_; and as this
decisive Battle was fought, according to their Computation, upon the
third Day of the Month _Torul_, they reckon this among the unlucky
Days. At this Season of the Year, the Planet _Nazar_, whose Revolution
round the Subterranean Sun regulates the Time, and distinguishes the
Seasons, is at its farthest Distance from this Part of the Firmament.
The whole Firmament likewise makes its Revolution round the Sun, but
as the Planet moves with greater Velocity, _Nazar_ seems to increase
or decrease, according as it is nearer to, or more remote from this or
that Hemisphere. The Increase or Decrease of this Planet, as also the
Eclipses of the Sun, are the Subject of astronomical Observations in
this Country. I once took the Pains, at my Hours of Leisure, to examine
the _Tanachitish_ Kalendar, and it seem’d to me to be an orderly and
well digested Thing.
The Taking of the capital City was follow’d by the Surrender of the
whole Kingdom; so that the Contempt with which the _Quamites_ had been
before stigmatiz’d, was chang’d into Renown; and the Empire of _Quama_,
by the Addition of this conquer’d Nation, became almost twice as
powerful as it was before. But as every body look’d upon this Success
to be owing to my Industry and Management, the Esteem which they had
for a long Time conceiv’d for me was heighten’d almost into Adoration.
The _Tanachites_ being thus subdued, and Governors appointed in every
City, to keep this fierce and warlike People in their Duty, I went to
work, to finish the Task I had begun, and to root out that Barbarity
in which the _Quamites_ were as yet involv’d. It was a Matter of great
Difficulty, however, to introduce the Study of the liberal Arts at
once; for the _Latin_ Tongue, and a few Scraps of _Greek_, which I
had learnt in _Europe_, would not, I knew, be here of any Use. For
this Reason, I caus’d twelve of the most learned Tigers to be sent for
out of the Enemies Country. These were made Professors, and commanded
to found an University upon the Model of those in their own Country.
I likewise order’d the Royal Library of _Tanachin_ to be remov’d to
_Quama_. I was determin’d, however, that as soon as the _Quamites_ had
made such a Progress in Literature as to be able to stand upon their
own Legs, I would send these Foreigners back into their own Country.
I was very desirous of seeing the _Tanachitish_ Library, because I
had been inform’d by their General _Tomopoloko_, that amongst other
Manuscripts in the Archives of the Library, there was one compos’d by
an Author who had been in our World, and had left a Description of
its different Kingdoms, especially the _European_ ones; he told me
likewise, that the _Tanachites_ had got Possession of this Book while
they were at War in a very distant Country, but that the Name of the
Author was conceal’d, nor could it ever be learnt who he was, or how he
was carry’d to the Superterranean Habitations.
Upon looking over the Book, I found what _Tomopoloko_ had told me
concerning the Author was true, and therefore I candidly discover’d
my Race and Country to him, assuring him at the same Time, that I had
declar’d the same Thing to the _Quamites_ at my first Arrival, but
that the stupid Mortals gave no Credit to my Narration, but would
needs have me to be an Embassador from the Sun, and still continued
to persist obstinately in that Error. I added likewise, that as I
look’d upon it to be a Crime to keep so vain a Title any longer, I was
at length determin’d to discover my Origin to the Publick, by which
ingenuous Confession I thought my Reputation would not in the least
suffer, especially as I hop’d, that the Reading of this Book would
convince every body how much the _Europeans_ excel all other People in
Virtue and in Knowledge. The prudent _Tomopoloko_ did not seem pleas’d
with my Design, and gave me his Sentiments upon it, as I remember, in
the following Terms. “Good Sir, before you proceed in your Design,
it will be necessary for you to see the Book, the Reading of which
may, perhaps, divert you from your Purpose; for either the Author has
misrepresented them, or the Manners of the Superterraneans are foolish
and absurd, and they are govern’d by Laws and Customs more worthy of
Laughter than Regard. But after you have read the Book, you may use
your own Discretion. One Piece of Advice, however, I will presume to
give you, and that is, not rashly to reject a Title which has render’d
you so venerable in the Opinion of the _Quamites_: For nothing serves
more effectually to restrain Men within the Bounds of Duty, than the
Opinion which the Vulgar entertain of Birth and high Descent.”
I took the Advice, and determin’d, with the Assistance of _Tomopoloko_,
to read the Book. The Title of it is this; _Tanian’s Journey to the
Superterranean World, or a Description of the Kingdoms and Countries
upon Earth_. The Name of _Tanian_ is thought to be fictitious, and as
the Book was grown mouldy for want of being taken due Care of, and
imperfect in several Places through Length of Time, what I wanted most
to see, namely, which Way the Author got up to our World, and down
again, was missing. These are the Contents of what remain’d of the Work.
_Fragments of_ Tanian_’s Journey above Ground, translated from the
Original, by the celebrated, noble, and valiant_ Tomopoloko,
_General of the_ Tanachites.
* * * This Country (i. e. _Germany_) goes by the Name of the _Roman_
Empire; but this is merely titular, for the _Roman_ Monarchy has been
extinct for several Ages. The Language, which the _Germans_ use, is
with much Difficulty to be understood, because the natural Order of
the Words is inverted; for what goes first in other Languages, comes
last in this, so that you may be oblig’d to read to the End of a Page
before you can comprehend the Meaning of it. The Form of Government is
strange. The _Germans_ think they have a King, and yet in Reality they
have none. _Germany_ is said to be one Empire, and yet it is divided
into many separate Principalities, each of which has the Sovereign
Power within itself, so that they often make War upon one another,
and have most certainly a Right so to do. The Empire is said to be
_always August_, though it is sometimes very much diminish’d; _Holy_,
tho’ without any _Holiness_; _Invincible_, though often expos’d to
the Depredations of its Neighbours. Nor are the Rights and Privileges
of this Nation less wonderful, since many have Rights, which they are
prohibited from making any Use of. Infinite are the Comments which have
been publish’d upon the State of the _German_ Empire, but so intricate
is the Subject, that in Spite of all their Labours they are at every
Turn as much at a Loss as ever concerning it; for * * * *
* * * * The Capital of this Kingdom (_France_) which is very large, is
call’d _Paris_. It may in some Sense be styl’d the Capital of _Europe_:
For it exercises a Kind of Jurisdiction over all other _European_
Nations. For Example, it prescribes Rules to them about their Eating,
and about the Fashion of their Cloaths; so that let any Fashion be
as ridiculous and as inconvenient as it will, all other Nations are
oblig’d to follow it, whenever the _Parisians_ are pleas’d to lead the
Way. How or what Time they acquir’d this Right, I could never learn.
Their Authority, however, did not, as I understood, extend to other
Things, for the rest of the _European_ Nations are often at War with
the _French_, and sometimes force them to accept of Peace upon very
severe Terms; but the Servitude they are under with regard to Dress,
and the Manner of Eating is perpetual; so that whatever Fashion is
invented at _Paris_, the rest of _Europe_ are strictly oblig’d to
come into it. The _Parisians_ very much resemble the _Martinians_ in
Quickness of Apprehension, the Love of Novelty, and a Fertility of
Invention.
* * * Having left _Bononia_, we went to _Rome_. This City is subject
to a Priest, who, though his Dominions are very narrow, is reckon’d
the most powerful of all the _European_ Kings and Princes. For other
Princes exercise Dominion only over the Persons and Estates of their
Subjects, but this can destroy their Souls likewise. The _Europeans_
in general believe, that the Keys of Heaven are in the Custody of
this Priest. I was very desirous of seeing so great a Curiosity, but
I lost my Labour, nor do I know, to this Day, what Form they are of,
or in what Cabinet they are kept. The Authority which this Pontiff
exercises, not only over his own Subjects, but over all Mankind,
chiefly consists in this, that he can absolve whom God condemns, and
condemn whom he absolves. An enormous Power, indeed! and such an one as
our Subterraneans will never believe can fall to any Mortal’s Share.
But it is an easy Matter to impose upon the _Europeans_ as one pleases,
and to make them swallow the greatest Absurdities, though they imagine
that nobody has any Understanding but themselves; and being puff’d with
this Opinion, they look down with Contempt upon all other Mortals, as
if they were Barbarians in Comparison of them.
For my Part, I do not undertake to justify the Manners, Laws, and
Customs of our Subterraneans; I will only produce some Instances of the
Customs of the _Europeans_, in order to make it appear how undeservedly
they pass a Censure upon the Manners of other Nations.
It is a Custom all over _Europe_ for People to scatter a Kind of Meal,
which is made by grinding the Fruits of the Earth, and which Nature
intended for Food, over their Hair and Cloaths. This Meal is commonly
call’d _Powder_, and great Care and Pains are us’d to cleanse their
Hair from it every Morning, with an Instrument call’d a Comb, in order
to make Room for more of the same Sort. They have another Custom
which appear’d to me no less ridiculous, which is this. They have a
Kind of little Cover, or Hat, to defend their Heads against the Cold,
which Cover they very often wear under one of their Arms, even in the
very Depth of Winter. This appear’d as absurd to me, as it would have
been to have seen a Man walking through the Streets with his Coat or
his Breeches in his Hand, and leaving his Body to be expos’d to the
Inclemencies of the Air, from which they were intended to defend it.
The religious Opinions of the _Europeans_ are very sound and agreeable
to right Reason. They are under an Injunction carefully to study the
Books in which the Rule of Faith and Practice is contain’d, in order to
discover their true Sense and Meaning. These Books recommend Indulgence
to weak Brethren, and such as happen to be mistaken; but if any should
chance to understand a Thing in a different Sense from the Majority,
he is punish’d for this Defect of Judgment by Fines, Imprisonment,
Whipping, and even sometimes by dying at a Stake. This seem’d to me
the same Thing, as if a Man, who happen’d to be short-sighted, should
undergo the Bastinado, only because Objects, which seem square to me,
appear round to him. I was inform’d, that Thousands had been hang’d and
burnt, by Order of the Magistrate, on this Account.
In almost every Town and Village, you see Men standing up in Places of
publick Resort, and severely reprimanding others for those Sins which
they themselves are daily guilty of; which is just as if one should
hear a Man in Liquor declaiming against Drunkenness.