All quiet on the Western Front

Himmelstoss is a little hesitant, his gait becomes slower. Then he marches up to us. No one makes any motion to stand up. Kropp looks up at him with interest. He continues to stand in front of us and wait. As no one says anything he launches a "Well?" A couple of seconds go by. Apparently Himmelstoss doesn't quite know what to do. He would like most to set us all on the run again. But he seems to have learned already that the front line isn't a parade ground. He tries it on though, and by addressing himself to one instead of to all of us hopes to get some response. Kropp is nearest, so he favours him. "Well, you here too?" But Albert's no friend of his. "A bit longer than you, I fancy," he retorts. The red moustache twitches: "You don't recognize me any more, what?" Tjaden now opens his eyes. "I do though." Himmelstoss turns to him: "Tjaden, isn't it?" Tjaden lifts his head. "And do you know what you are?" Himmelstoss is disconcerted. "Since when have we become so familiar? I don't remember that we ever slept in the gutter together?" He has no idea what to make of the situation. He didn't expect this open hostility. But he is on his guard: someone has already dinned some rot into him about getting a shot in the back. The question about the gutter makes Tjaden so mad that he becomes almost witty: "No, you slept there by yourself." Himmelstoss begins to boil. But Tjaden gets in ahead of him. He must bring off his insult: "Wouldn't you like to know what you are? A dirty hound, that's what you are. I've been wanting to tell you that for a long time." The satisfaction of months shines in his dull pig's eyes as he spits out: Dirty hound! Himmelstoss lets fly too, now. "What's that, you muck-rake, you dirty peat-stealer? Stand up there, bring your heels together when your superior officer speaks to you." Tjaden winks solemnly. "You take a run and jump at yourself, Himmelstoss." Himmelstoss is a raging book of army regulations. The Kaiser couldn't be more insulted. "Tjaden, I command you, as your superior officer: Stand up!" "Anything else you would like?" asks Tjaden. "Will you obey my order or not?" Tjaden replies, without knowing it, in the well-known classical phrase. At the same time he ventilates his backside. "I'll have you court-martialled," storms Himmelstoss. We watch him disappear in the direction of the Orderly Room. Haie and Tjaden burst into a regular peat-digger's bellow. Haie laughs so much that he dislocates his jaw, and suddenly stands there helpless with his mouth wide open. Albert has to put it back again by giving it a blow with his fist. Kat is troubled: "If he reports you, it'll be pretty serious." "Do you think he will?" asks Tjaden. "Sure to," I say. "The least you'll get will be five days close arrest," says Kat. That doesn't worry Tjaden. "Five days clink are five days rest." "And if they send you to the Fortress?" urges the thoroughgoing Müller. "Well, for the time being the war will be over so far as I am concerned." Tjaden is a cheerful soul. There aren't any worries for him. He goes off with Haie and Leer so that they won't find him in the first flush of the excitement. * * Müller hasn't finished yet. He tackles Kropp again. "Albert, if you were really at home now, what would you do?" Kropp is contented now and more accommodating: "How many of us were there in the class exactly?" We count up: out of twenty, seven are dead, four wounded, one in a mad-house. That makes twelve privates. "Three of them are lieutenants," says Müller. "Do you think they would still let Kantorek sit on them?" We guess not: we wouldn't let ourselves be sat on for that matter. "What do you mean by the three-fold theme in 'William Tell'?" says Kropp reminiscently, and roars with laughter. "What was the purpose of the Poetic League of Göttingen?" asks Müller suddenly and earnestly. "How many children had Charles the Bald?" I interrupt gently. "You'll never make anything of your life, Bäumer," croaks Müller. "When was the Battle of Zana?" Kropp wants to know. "You lack the studious mind, Kropp, sit down, three minus----" I wink. "What offices did Lycurgus consider the most important for the state?" asks Müller, pretending to take off his pince-nez. "Does it go: 'We Germans fear God and none else in the whole world,' or 'We, the Germans, fear God and----'" I submit. "How many inhabitants has Melbourne?" asks Müller. "How do you expect to succeed in life if you don't know that?" I ask Albert hotly. Which he caps with: "What is meant by Cohesion?" We remember mighty little of all that rubbish. Anyway, it has never been the slightest use to us. At school nobody ever taught us how to light a cigarette in a storm of rain, nor how a fire could be made with wet wood--nor that it is best to stick a bayonet in the belly because there it doesn't get jammed, as it does in the ribs. Müller says thoughtfully: "What's the use. We'll have to go back and sit on the forms again." I consider that out of the question. "We might take a special exam." "That needs preparation. And if you do get through, what then? A student's life isn't any better. If you have no money, you have to work like the devil." "It's a bit better. But it's rot all the same, everything they teach you." Kropp supports me: "How can a man take all that stuff seriously when he's once been out here?" "Still you must have an occupation of some sort," insists Müller, as though he were Kantorek himself. Albert cleans his nails with a knife. We are surprised at this delicacy. But it is merely pensiveness. He puts the knife away and continues: "That's just it. Kat and Detering and Haie will go back to their jobs because they had them already. Himmelstoss too. But we never had any. How will we ever get used to one after this, here?"--he makes a gesture toward the front. "We'll want a private income, and then we'll be able to live by ourselves in a wood," I say, but at once feel ashamed of this absurd idea. "But what will really happen when we go back?" wonders Müller, and even he is troubled. Kropp gives a shrug. "I don't know. Let's get back first, then we'll find out." We are all utterly at a loss. "What could we do?" I ask. "I don't want to do anything," replies Kropp wearily. "You'll be dead one day, so what does it matter? I don't think we'll ever go back." "When I think about it, Albert," I say after a while, rolling over on my back, "when I hear the word 'peace time,' it goes to my head; and if it really came, I think I would do some unimaginable thing--something, you know, that it's worth having lain here in the muck for. But I can't even imagine anything. All I do know is that this business about professions and studies and salaries and so on--it makes me sick, it is and always was disgusting. I don't see anything--I don't see anything at all, Albert." All at once everything seems to me confused and hopeless. Kropp feels it too. "It will go pretty hard with us all. But nobody at home seems to worry much about it. Two years of shells and bombs--a man won't peel that off as easy as a sock." We agree that it's the same for everyone; not only for us here, but everywhere, for everyone who is of our age; to some more, and to others less. It is the common fate of our generation. Albert expresses it: "The war has ruined us for everything." He is right. We are not youth any longer. We don't want to take the world by storm. We are fleeing. We fly from ourselves. From our life. We were eighteen and had begun to love life and the world; and we had to shoot it to pieces. The first bomb, the first explosion, burst in our hearts. We are cut off from activity, from striving, from progress. We believe in such things no longer, we believe in the war. * * The Orderly Room shows signs of life. Himmelstoss seems to have stirred them up. At the head of the column trots the fat sergeant-major. It is queer that almost all pay-sergeant-majors are fat. Himmelstoss follows him, thirsting for vengeance. His boots gleam in the sun. We get up. "Where's Tjaden?" the sergeant puffs. No one knows, of course. Himmelstoss glowers at us wrathfully. "You know very well. You won't say, that's the fact of the matter. Out with it!" Fatty looks round enquiringly; but Tjaden is not to be seen. He tries another way. "Tjaden will report at the Orderly Room in ten minutes." Then he steams off with Himmelstoss in his wake. "I have a feeling that next time we go up wiring I'll be letting a bundle of wire fall on Himmelstoss's leg," hints Kropp. "We'll have quite a lot of jokes with him," laughs Müller.-- That is our sole ambition: to knock the conceit out of a postman.-- I go into the hut and put Tjaden wise. He disappears. Then we change our possy and lie down again to play cards. We know how to do that: to play cards, to swear, and to fight. Not much for twenty years;--and yet too much for twenty years. Half an hour later Himmelstoss is back again. Nobody pays any attention to him. He asks for Tjaden. We shrug our shoulders. "Then you'd better find him," he persists. "Haven't you been to look for him?" Kropp lies back in the grass and says: "Have you ever been out here before?" "That's none of your business," retorts Himmelstoss. "I expect an answer." "Very good," says Kropp, getting up. "See up there where those little white clouds are. Those are anti-aircraft. We were over there yesterday. Five dead and eight wounded. It was a lot of fun. Next time, when you go up with us, before they die the fellows will come up to you, click their heels, and ask stiffly: 'Please may I go? Please may I hop it? We've been waiting here a long time for someone like you.'" He sits down again and Himmelstoss disappears like a comet. "Three days C.B.," Kat conjectures. "Next time I'll let fly," I say to Albert. But that is the end. The case comes up for trial in the evening. In the Orderly Room sits our Lieutenant, Bertink, and calls us in one after another. I have to appear as a witness and explain the reason of Tjaden's insubordination. The story of the bed-wetting makes an impression. Himmelstoss is recalled and I repeat my statement. "Is that right?" Bertink asks Himmelstoss. He tries to evade the question, but in the end has to confess, for Kropp tells the same story. "Why didn't someone report the matter, then?" asks Bertink. We are silent: he must know himself how much use it is reporting such things in the army. It isn't usual to make complaints in the army. He understands it all right though, and lectures Himmelstoss, making it plain to him that the front isn't a parade-ground. Then comes Tjaden's turn, who gets a long sermon and three days open arrest. He gives Kropp a wink and one day's open arrest. "It can't be helped," he says to him regretfully. He is a decent fellow. Open arrest is quite pleasant. The clink was once a fowl-house; there we can visit the prisoners, we know how to manage it. Close arrest would have meant the cellar. They used to tie us to a tree, but that is forbidden now. In many ways we are treated quite like men. An hour after Tjaden and Kropp are settled in behind their wire-netting we make our way in to them. Tjaden greets us crowing. Then we play skat far into the night. Tjaden wins of course, the lucky wretch. * * When we break up Kat says to me: "What do you say to some roast goose?" "Not bad," I agree. We climb up on a munition-waggon. The ride costs us two cigarettes.