Apologia pro vita sua being a history of his religious opinions
"In" [a newspaper] "however, of April 9, there appears a paragraph in
which it is asserted, as a matter of notoriety, that a 'so-called
Anglo-Catholic Monastery is in process of erection at Littlemore, and
that the cells of dormitories, the chapel, the refectory, the cloisters
all may be seen advancing to perfection, under the eye of a Parish
Priest of the Diocese of Oxford.'
"Now, as I have understood that you really are possessed of some
tenements at Littlemore,--as it is generally believed that they are
destined for the purposes of study and devotion,--and as much suspicion
and jealousy are felt about the matter, I am anxious to afford you an
opportunity of making me an explanation on the subject.
"I know you too well not to be aware that you are the last man living to
attempt in my Diocese a revival of the Monastic orders (in any thing
approaching to the Romanist sense of the term) without previous
communication with me,--or indeed that you should take upon yourself to
originate any measure of importance without authority from the heads of
the Church,--and therefore I at once exonerate you from the accusation
brought against you by the newspaper I have quoted, but I feel it
nevertheless a duty to my Diocese and myself, as well as to you, to ask
you to put it in my power to contradict what, if uncontradicted, would
appear to imply a glaring invasion of all ecclesiastical discipline on
_your_ part, or of inexcusable neglect and indifference to my duties on
_mine_."
I wrote in answer as follows:--
"April 14, 1842. I am very much obliged by your Lordship's kindness in
allowing me to write to you on the subject of my house at Littlemore; at
the same time I feel it hard both on your Lordship and myself that the
restlessness of the public mind should oblige you to require an
explanation of me.
"It is now a whole year that I have been the subject of incessant
misrepresentation. A year since I submitted entirely to your Lordship's
authority; and, with the intention of following out the particular act
enjoined upon me, I not only stopped the series of Tracts, on which I
was engaged, but withdrew from all public discussion of Church matters
of the day, or what may be called ecclesiastical politics. I turned
myself at once to the preparation for the Press of the translations of
St. Athanasius to which I had long wished to devote myself, and I
intended and intend to employ myself in the like theological studies,
and in the concerns of my own parish and in practical works.
"With the same view of personal improvement I was led more seriously to
a design which had been long on my mind. For many years, at least
thirteen, I have wished to give myself to a life of greater religious
regularity than I have hitherto led; but it is very unpleasant to
confess such a wish even to my Bishop, because it seems arrogant, and
because it is committing me to a profession which may come to nothing.
For what have I done that I am to be called to account by the world for
my private actions, in a way in which no one else is called? Why may I
not have that liberty which all others are allowed? I am often accused
of being underhand and uncandid in respect to the intentions to which I
have been alluding: but no one likes his own good resolutions noised
about, both from mere common delicacy and from fear lest he should not
be able to fulfil them. I feel it very cruel, though the parties in
fault do not know what they are doing, that very sacred matters between
me and my conscience are made a matter of public talk. May I take a case
parallel though different? suppose a person in prospect of marriage;
would he like the subject discussed in newspapers, and parties,
circumstances, &c., &c., publicly demanded of him, at the penalty of
being accused of craft and duplicity?
"The resolution I speak of has been taken with reference to myself
alone, and has been contemplated quite independent of the co-operation
of any other human being, and without reference to success or failure
other than personal, and without regard to the blame or approbation of
man. And being a resolution of years, and one to which I feel God has
called me, and in which I am violating no rule of the Church any more
than if I married, I should have to answer for it, if I did not pursue
it, as a good Providence made openings for it. In pursuing it then I am
thinking of myself alone, not aiming at any ecclesiastical or external
effects. At the same time of course it would be a great comfort to me to
know that God had put it into the hearts of others to pursue their
personal edification in the same way, and unnatural not to wish to have
the benefit of their presence and encouragement, or not to think it a
great infringement on the rights of conscience if such personal and
private resolutions were interfered with. Your Lordship will allow me to
add my firm conviction that such religious resolutions are most
necessary for keeping a certain class of minds firm in their allegiance
to our Church; but still I can as truly say that my own reason for any
thing I have done has been a personal one, without which I should not
have entered upon it, and which I hope to pursue whether with or without
the sympathies of others pursuing a similar course....
"As to my intentions, I purpose to live there myself a good deal, as I
have a resident curate in Oxford. In doing this, I believe I am
consulting for the good of my parish, as my population at Littlemore is
at least equal to that of St. Mary's in Oxford, and the _whole_ of
Littlemore is double of it. It has been very much neglected; and in
providing a parsonage-house at Littlemore, as this will be, and will be
called, I conceive I am doing a very great benefit to my people. At the
same time it has appeared to me that a partial or temporary retirement
from St. Mary's Church might be expedient under the prevailing
excitement.
"As to the quotation from the [newspaper], which I have not seen, your
Lordship will perceive from what I have said, that no 'monastery is in
process of erection;' there is no 'chapel;' no 'refectory', hardly a
dining-room or parlour. The 'cloisters' are my shed connecting the
cottages. I do not understand what 'cells of dormitories' means. Of
course I can repeat your Lordship's words that 'I am not attempting a
revival of the Monastic Orders, in any thing approaching to the Romanist
sense of the term,' or 'taking on myself to originate any measure of
importance without authority from the Heads of the Church.' I am
attempting nothing ecclesiastical, but something personal and private,
and which can only be made public, not private, by newspapers and
letter-writers, in which sense the most sacred and conscientious
resolves and acts may certainly be made the objects of an unmannerly and
unfeeling curiosity."
* * * * *
One calumny there was which the Bishop did not believe, and of which of
course he had no idea of speaking. It was that I was actually in the
service of the enemy. I had forsooth been already received into the
Catholic Church, and was rearing at Littlemore a nest of Papists, who,
like me, were to take the Anglican oaths which they disbelieved, by
virtue of a dispensation from Rome, and thus in due time were to bring
over to that unprincipled Church great numbers of the Anglican Clergy
and Laity. Bishops gave their countenance to this imputation against me.
The case was simply this:--as I made Littlemore a place of retirement
for myself, so did I offer it to others. There were young men in Oxford,
whose testimonials for Orders had been refused by their Colleges; there
were young clergymen, who had found themselves unable from conscience to
go on with their duties, and had thrown up their parochial engagements.
Such men were already going straight to Rome, and I interposed; I
interposed for the reasons I have given in the beginning of this portion
of my narrative. I interposed from fidelity to my clerical engagements,
and from duty to my Bishop; and from the interest which I was bound to
take in them, and from belief that they were premature or excited. Their
friends besought me to quiet them, if I could. Some of them came to live
with me at Littlemore. They were laymen, or in the place of laymen. I
kept some of them back for several years from being received into the
Catholic Church. Even when I had given up my living, I was still bound
by my duty to their parents or friends, and I did not forget still to do
what I could for them. The immediate occasion of my resigning St.
Mary's, was the unexpected conversion of one of them. After that, I felt
it was impossible to keep my post there, for I had been unable to keep
my word with my Bishop.
The following letters refer, more or less, to these men, whether they
were actually with me at Littlemore or not:--
1. "March 6, 1842. Church doctrines are a powerful weapon; they were not
sent into the world for nothing. God's word does not return unto Him
void: If I have said, as I have, that the doctrines of the Tracts for
the Times would build up our Church and destroy parties, I meant, if
they were used, not if they were denounced. Else, they will be as
powerful against us, as they might be powerful for us.
"If people who have a liking for another, hear him called a Roman
Catholic; they will say, 'Then after all Romanism is no such bad thing.'
All these persons, who are making the cry, are fulfilling their own
prophecy. If all the world agree in telling a man, he has no business in
our Church, he will at length begin to think he has none. How easy is it
to persuade a man of any thing, when numbers affirm it! so great is the
force of imagination. Did every one who met you in the streets look hard
at you, you would think you were somehow in fault. I do not know any
thing so irritating, so unsettling, especially in the case of young
persons, as, when they are going on calmly and unconsciously, obeying
their Church and following its divines, (I am speaking from facts,) as
suddenly to their surprise to be conjured not to make a leap, of which
they have not a dream and from which they are far removed."
2. 1843 or 1844. "I did not explain to you sufficiently the state of
mind of those who were in danger. I only spoke of those who were
convinced that our Church was external to the Church Catholic, though
they felt it unsafe to trust their own private convictions; but there
are two other states of mind; 1. that of those who are unconsciously
near Rome, and whose _despair_ about our Church would at once develope
into a state of conscious approximation, or a _quasi_-resolution to go
over; 2. those who feel they can with a safe conscience remain with us
_while_ they are allowed to _testify_ in behalf of Catholicism, i.e. as
if by such acts they were putting our Church, or at least that portion
of it in which they were included, in the position of catechumens."
3. "June 20, 1843. I return the very pleasing letter you have permitted
me to read. What a sad thing it is, that it should be a plain duty to
restrain one's sympathies, and to keep them from boiling over; but I
suppose it is a matter of common prudence.
"Things are very serious here; but I should not like you to say so, as
it might do no good. The Authorities find, that, by the Statutes, they
have more than military power; and the general impression seems to be,
that they intend to exert it, and put down Catholicism at any risk. I
believe that by the Statutes, they can pretty nearly suspend a Preacher,
as _seditiosus_ or causing dissension, without assigning their grounds
in the particular case, nay, banish him, or imprison him. If so, all
holders of preferment in the University should make as quiet an _exit_