As I Remember
direction of his career. At an early age he was appointed a Lieutenant
in the regular Army and served with distinction through the Mexican War
in the Fourth Artillery. On one occasion subsequent to that conflict,
while his mother was suffering from a protracted illness, he applied to
the War Department for leave of absence in order that he might visit her
sick bed; and when it was not granted he resigned his commission and
thus sacrificed an enviable position to his sense of filial duty. Many
years later, after my husband's decease, in looking over his papers I
found these lines written by him just after his mother's death:--
"A man through life has but _one_ true friend and that friend generally
leaves him early. Man enters the lists of life but ere he has fought his
way far that friend falls by his side; he never finds another so fond,
so true, so faithful to the last--_His Mother_!"
Mrs. Gouverneur was somewhat literary in her tastes and, like many
others of her time, regarded it as an accomplishment to express herself
in verse on sentimental occasions. One of my daughters, whom she never
saw, owns the original manuscript of the following lines written as a
tribute of friendship to the daughter of President John Tyler, at the
time of her marriage:--
TO MISS TYLER ON HER WEDDING DAY.
The day, the happy day, has come
That gives you to your lover's arms;
Check not the tear or rising bloom
That springs from all those strange alarms.
To be a blest and happy wife
Is what all women wish to prove;
And may you know through all your life
The dear delights of wedded love.
'Tis not strange that you should feel
Confused in every thought and feeling;
Your bosom heave, the tear should steal
At thoughts of all the friends you're leaving.
Happy girl may your life prove,
All sunshine, joy and purest pleasure;
One long, long day of happy love,
Your husband's joy, his greatest treasure.
Be to him all that woman ought,
In joy and health and every sorrow;
Let his true pleasures be only sought
With you to-day, with you to-morrow.
Believe not that in palace walls
'Tis only there that joy you'll find;
At home with friends in your own halls
There's more content and peace of mind.
More splendor you may find 'tis true,
And glitter, show, and elevation,
But if the world of you speak true,
You prize not wealth or this high station.
Your heart's too pure, your mind too high,
To prize such empty pomp and state;
You leave such scenes without a sigh
To court the joys that on you wait.
After meeting Mr. and Mrs. Gouverneur, my future husband's father and
his second wife, at Cold Spring, I renewed my acquaintance with them in
Washington, where they were living in an old-fashioned house on New York
Avenue, between Fourteenth and Fifteenth Streets. We often welcomed Mrs.
Gouverneur as a guest at our Washington home and I was subsequently
invited to visit her at their country seat, Needwood, Frederick County,
Maryland, located upon a tract of land chiefly composed of large farms
at one time owned exclusively by the Lee family. I quote Mrs.
Gouverneur's graceful letter of invitation:--
My dear Miss Campbell,
I can not refrain from writing to remind you of your promise
to us; this must be about the time fixed upon, (at least we
all feel as if it was), and the season is so delightful, not
to mention the strawberries which will be in great
perfection this week--these reasons, together with our great
desire to see you, determined me to give you warning that we
are surely expecting you, and hope to hear very soon from
you to say when we may send to the _Knoxville_ depot for
you. I would be so much gratified if Mrs. Eames would come
with you; it would give us all the sincerest pleasure, and I
do not think that such a journey would be injurious. You
leave Washington to come here on the early (6 o'clock)
train, get out at the Relay House, and wait until the
western cars pass, (about 8 o'clock), get into them, and
reach Knoxville at 12 o'clock. So you see that altogether
you have only six hours, and you rest more than half an hour
at the Relay House. From Knoxville our carriage brings you
to "Needwood" in less than an hour. If there is any
gentleman you would like to come as an escort Mr. G. and
myself will be most happy to see him. Dr. Jones, you know,
does intend to travel about a little and said he would come
to see us; perhaps he will come with you, or Mr. Hibbard I
should be most happy to see--anyone in short whom you choose
to bring will be most welcome. Tell Mr. Hibbard I read his
speech and admired it as I presume everyone does. Good-bye,
dear Miss Campbell. I hope you will aid me in persuading
Mrs. Eames to come with you. My warmest regards to Mrs.
Campbell and your sisters, in which my sister [Mrs. Eugene
H. Lynch] and Mr. Gouverneur unite.
Believe me, yours most truly,
M. D. GOUVERNEUR.
Needwood, May 22nd, 1854.
I accepted the invitation and, while I was Mrs. Gouverneur's guest, my
sister Margaret was visiting one of the adjoining places at the home of
Colonel John Lee, whose wife's maiden name was Harriet Carroll. She was
a granddaughter of Charles Carroll of Carrollton, and their home was the
former residence of another ancestor, Governor Thomas Sim Lee of
Maryland. During my visit at Needwood I renewed the acquaintance of my
future husband, which I had formed a number of years before at the
wedding of Miss Fanny Monroe and Douglas Robinson, of which I have
previously spoken. It is unnecessary to refer to his appearance, which I
have already described, but I am sure it is not unnatural for me to add
that a year after the conclusion of the Mexican War he was brevetted for
gallantry and meritorious conduct in the battles of Contreras and
Churubusco. While his general bearing spoke well for his military
training, his mind was a storehouse of information which I learned to
appreciate more and more as the years rolled by. But of all his fine
characteristics I valued and revered him most for his fine sense of
honor and sterling integrity. Like his mother, Mr. Gouverneur was
literary in his tastes and occasionally gave vent to his feelings in
verse. In 1852 Oak Hill, the stately old Monroe place in Virginia where
he had spent much of his early life, was about to pass out of the
family. He was naturally much distressed over the sale of the home so
intimately associated with his childhood's memory, and a few days prior
to his final departure wrote the following lines. In after years nothing
could ever induce him to visit Oak Hill.
FAREWELL TO OAK HILL, 1852, ON DEPARTING THENCE.
The autumn rains are falling fast,
Earth, the heavens are overcast;
The rushing winds mournful sigh,
Whispering, alas! good-bye;
To each fond remembrance farewell and forever,
Oak Hill I depart to return to thee never!
The mighty oaks beneath whose shade
In boyhood's happier hours I've played,
Bend to the mountain blast's wild sweep,
Scattering spray they seem to weep;
To each moss-grown tree farewell and forever,
Oak Hill I depart to return to thee never!
The little mound now wild o'ergrown,
On the bosom of which my tears have oft flown,
Where my mother beside her mother lies sleeping,
O'er them the rank grass, bright dew drops are weeping;
To that hallowed spot farewell and forever,
Oak Hill I depart to return to thee never!
Oh, home of my boyhood, why must I depart?
Tears I am shedding and wild throbs my heart;
Home of my manhood, oh! would I had died
And lain me to rest by my dead mother's side,
Ere my tongue could have uttered farewell and forever,
Oak Hill I depart to return to thee never!
Mr. Gouverneur's pathetic allusion to the graves of his mother and
grandmother affords me an opportunity of saying that in 1903 the
Legislature of Virginia appropriated a sum of money sufficient to
remove the remains of Mrs. Monroe and her daughter, Mrs. Gouverneur,
from Oak Hill. They now rest in Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia,
on opposite sides of the grave of James Monroe.
The friendship of Mr. Gouverneur and myself ripened into a deep
affection, and the winter following my visit to Needwood we announced
our engagement. I was warmly welcomed into the Gouverneur family, as
will appear from the following letter:
I can not longer defer, my dear Marian, expressing the great
gratification I experienced when Sam informed me of his
happiness in having gained your heart. It is most agreeable
to me that you of all the women I know should be the object
of his choice. How little I anticipated such a result from
the short visit you made us last summer. Sam is in an
Elysium of bliss. I have lately had a charming letter from
him, of course all about his lady love. I think you too have
every reason to anticipate a life of happiness, not more
marred than we must all look for in this world. Sam is very
warm-hearted and affectionate and possesses a fine mind, as
you know, and when he marries, you will have nothing to wish
for. These are his own sentiments and I assure you I
entirely agree with him.
Mr. Gouverneur is greatly gratified and both wrote and told
me how nobly you expressed yourself to him.
I am going to Baltimore to-day to meet Mr. G. and perhaps
may go to Washington. If I do you will see me soon after I
arrive there. I feel as if I should like so much to talk to
my future daughter. I take the warmest interest in
everything concerning Sam's happiness, and my heart is now
overflowing with thankfulness to you for having contributed
so much to it.
Please remember me in the kindest manner to your mother,
whose warm hospitality I have not forgotten, and to the
girls. My sincere congratulations to Margaret who Mary
[Lee] writes me is as happy as the day is long. Ellen
desires me to present her congratulations to you and
Margaret.
Believe me, very sincerely yours,
M. D. GOUVERNEUR.
Needwood, Feb. 14th.
I was married in Washington in the old G Street house, and the occasion
was made especially festive by the presence of many friends from out of
town. We were married by the Rev. Dr. Smith Pyne, rector of St. John's
Episcopal Church, and I recall his nervous state of mind, owing to the
fact that he had forgotten to inquire whether a marriage license had
been procured; but when he was assured that everything was in due form
he was quite himself again. Among those who came from New York to attend
the wedding were General Scott; my father's old friend and associate,
Hugh Maxwell; his daughter, now the wife of Rear Admiral John H. Upshur,
U.S.N.; and Miss Sally Strother and her mother. Miss Emily Harper and
Mrs. Solomon B. Davies, who was Miss Bettie Monroe, my husband's
relative, came from Baltimore and, of course, Mr. and Mrs. Gouverneur
and Miss Mary Lee from Needwood were also present.
My own family circle was small, as my sister, Mrs. Eames, and her young
children were in Venezuela, where her husband was the U.S. Minister; but
I was married in the presence of my mother, my two younger sisters,
Margaret and Charlotte, and my brothers, James and Malcolm. Mr.
Gouverneur's only sister, Elizabeth, who some years before had married