Boswell's Life of Johnson
eagerness after knowledge, and to apply to Greek an hour every day; and
when I was moving about, to read diligently the great book of mankind.
On Wednesday, August 3, we had our last social evening at the Turk's
Head coffee-house, before my setting out for foreign parts. I had
the misfortune, before we parted, to irritate him unintentionally. I
mentioned to him how common it was in the world to tell absurd stories
of him, and to ascribe to him very strange sayings. JOHNSON. 'What do
they make me say, Sir?' BOSWELL. 'Why, Sir, as an instance very strange
indeed, (laughing heartily as I spoke,) David Hume told me, you
said that you would stand before a battery of cannon, to restore the
Convocation to its full powers.' Little did I apprehend that he had
actually said this: but I was soon convinced of my errour; for, with
a determined look, he thundered out 'And would I not, Sir? Shall the
Presbyterian KIRK of Scotland have its General Assembly, and the Church
of England be denied its Convocation?' He was walking up and down the
room while I told him the anecdote; but when he uttered this explosion
of high-church zeal, he had come close to my chair, and his eyes flashed
with indignation. I bowed to the storm, and diverted the force of it,
by leading him to expatiate on the influence which religion derived from
maintaining the church with great external respectability.
On Friday, August 5, we set out early in the morning in the Harwich
stage coach. A fat elderly gentlewoman, and a young Dutchman, seemed the
most inclined among us to conversation. At the inn where we dined, the
gentlewoman said that she had done her best to educate her children;
and particularly, that she had never suffered them to be a moment idle.
JOHNSON. 'I wish, madam, you would educate me too; for I have been an
idle fellow all my life.' 'I am sure, Sir, (said she) you have not been
idle.' JOHNSON. 'Nay, Madam, it is very true; and that gentleman there
(pointing to me,) has been idle. He was idle at Edinburgh. His father
sent him to Glasgow, where he continued to be idle. He then came to
London, where he has been very idle; and now he is going to Utrecht,
where he will be as idle as ever. I asked him privately how he could
expose me so. JOHNSON. 'Poh, poh! (said he) they knew nothing about you,
and will think of it no more.' In the afternoon the gentlewoman talked
violently against the Roman Catholicks, and of the horrours of the
Inquisition. To the utter astonishment of all the passengers but myself,
who knew that he could talk upon any side of a question, he defended the
Inquisition, and maintained, that 'false doctrine should be checked on
its first appearance; that the civil power should unite with the church
in punishing those who dared to attack the established religion, and
that such only were punished by the Inquisition.' He had in his pocket
Pomponius Mela de situ Orbis, in which he read occasionally, and seemed
very intent upon ancient geography. Though by no means niggardly,
his attention to what was generally right was so minute, that having
observed at one of the stages that I ostentatiously gave a shilling
to the coachman, when the custom was for each passenger to give only
six-pence, he took me aside and scolded me, saying that what I had
done would make the coachman dissatisfied with all the rest of
the passengers, who gave him no more than his due. This was a just
reprimand; for in whatever way a man may indulge his generosity or his
vanity in spending his money, for the sake of others he ought not to
raise the price of any article for which there is a constant demand.
At supper this night* he talked of good eating with uncommon
satisfaction. 'Some people (said he,) have a foolish way of not minding,
or pretending not to mind, what they eat. For my part, I mind my belly
very studiously, and very carefully; for I look upon it, that he who
does not mind his belly will hardly mind anything else.' He now appeared
to me Jean Bull philosophe, and he was, for the moment, not only serious
but vehement. Yet I have heard him, upon other occasions, talk with
great contempt of people who were anxious to gratify their palates; and
the 206th number of his Rambler is a masterly essay against gulosity.
His practice, indeed, I must acknowledge, may be considered as casting
the balance of his different opinions upon this subject; for I never
knew any man who relished good eating more than he did. When at table,
he was totally absorbed in the business of the moment; his looks seemed
rivetted to his plate; nor would he, unless when in very high company,
say one word, or even pay the least attention to what was said by
others, till he had satisfied his appetite, which was so fierce, and
indulged with such intenseness, that while in the act of eating, the
veins of his forehead swelled, and generally a strong perspiration was
visible. To those whose sensations were delicate, this could not but be
disgusting; and it was doubtless not very suitable to the character of a
philosopher, who should be distinguished by self-command. But it must
be owned, that Johnson, though he could be rigidly ABSTEMIOUS, was not
a TEMPERATE man either in eating or drinking. He could refrain, but
he could not use moderately. He told me, that he had fasted two days
without inconvenience, and that he had never been hungry but once.
They who beheld with wonder how much he eat upon all occasions when his
dinner was to his taste, could not easily conceive what he must have
meant by hunger; and not only was he remarkable for the extraordinary
quantity which he eat, but he was, or affected to be, a man of very nice
discernment in the science of cookery. He used to descant critically on
the dishes which had been at table where he had dined or supped, and to
recollect very minutely what he had liked. I remember, when he was in
Scotland, his praising 'Gordon's palates,' (a dish of palates at the
Honourable Alexander Gordon's) with a warmth of expression which
might have done honour to more important subjects. 'As for Maclaurin's
imitation of a MADE DISH, it was a wretched attempt.' He about the same
time was so much displeased with the performances of a nobleman's French
cook, that he exclaimed with vehemence, 'I'd throw such a rascal into
the river, and he then proceeded to alarm a lady at whose house he was
to sup, by the following manifesto of his skill: 'I, Madam, who live at
a variety of good tables, am a much better judge of cookery, than any
person who has a very tolerable cook, but lives much at home; for his
palate is gradually adapted to the taste of his cook; whereas, Madam, in
trying by a wider range, I can more exquisitely judge.' When invited
to dine, even with an intimate friend, he was not pleased if something
better than a plain dinner was not prepared for him. I have heard him
say on such an occasion, 'This was a good dinner enough, to be sure; but
it was not a dinner to ASK a man to.' On the other hand, he was wont to
express, with great glee, his satisfaction when he had been entertained
quite to his mind. One day when we had dined with his neighbour and
landlord in Bolt-court, Mr. Allen, the printer, whose old housekeeper
had studied his taste in every thing, he pronounced this eulogy: 'Sir,
we could not have had a better dinner had there been a Synod of Cooks.'
* At Colchester.--ED.
While we were left by ourselves, after the Dutchman had gone to bed, Dr.
Johnson talked of that studied behaviour which many have recommended and
practised. He disapproved of it; and said, 'I never considered whether I
should be a grave man, or a merry man, but just let inclination, for the
time, have its course.'
I teazed him with fanciful apprehensions of unhappiness. A moth having
fluttered round the candle, and burnt itself, he laid hold of this
little incident to admonish me; saying, with a sly look, and in a solemn
but quiet tone, 'That creature was its own tormentor, and I believe its
name was BOSWELL.'
Next day we got to Harwich to dinner; and my passage in the packet-boat
to Helvoetsluys being secured, and my baggage put on board, we dined
at our inn by ourselves. I happened to say it would be terrible if he
should not find a speedy opportunity of returning to London, and be
confined to so dull a place. JOHNSON. 'Don't Sir, accustom yourself to
use big words for little matters. It would NOT be TERRIBLE, though I
WERE to be detained some time here.'
We went and looked at the church, and having gone into it and walked up
to the altar, Johnson, whose piety was constant and fervent, sent me to
my knees, saying, 'Now that you are going to leave your native country,
recommend yourself to the protection of your CREATOR and REDEEMER.'
After we came out of the church, we stood talking for some time together
of Bishop Berkeley's ingenious sophistry to prove the non-existence
of matter, and that every thing in the universe is merely ideal. I
observed, that though we are satisfied his doctrine is not true, it is
impossible to refute it. I never shall forget the alacrity with which
Johnson answered, striking his foot with mighty force against a large
stone, till he rebounded from it, 'I refute it THUS.'
My revered friend walked down with me to the beach, where we embraced
and parted with tenderness, and engaged to correspond by letters. I
said, 'I hope, Sir, you will not forget me in my ahsence.' JOHNSON.
'Nay, Sir, it is more likely you should forget me, than that I should
forget you.' As the vessel put out to sea, I kept my eyes upon him for a
considerable time, while he remained rolling his majestick frame in his
usual manner: and at last I perceived him walk back into the town, and
he disappeared.
1764: AETAT. 55.]--Early in 1764 Johnson paid a visit to the Langton
family, at their seat of Langton, in Lincolnshire, where he passed some
time, much to his satisfaction. His friend Bennet Langton, it will not
he doubted, did every thing in his power to make the place agreeable to
so illustrious a guest; and the elder Mr. Langton and his lady, being
fully capable of understanding his value, were not wanting in attention.
Johnson, during his stay at Langton, had the advantage of a good
library, and saw several gentlemen of the neighbourhood. I have obtained
from Mr. Langton the following particulars of this period.
He was now fully convinced that he could not have been satisfied with a
country living; for, talking of a respectable clergyman in Lincolnshire,
he observed, 'This man, Sir, fills up the duties of his life well. I
approve of him, but could not imitate him.'
To a lady who endeavoured to vindicate herself from blame for neglecting
social attention to worthy neighbours, by saying, 'I would go to them if
it would do them any good,' he said, 'What good, Madam, do you expect to
have in your power to do them? It is shewing them respect, and that is
doing them good.'
So socially accommodating was he, that once when Mr. Langton and he were
driving together in a coach, and Mr. Langton complained of being sick,
he insisted that they should go out and sit on the back of it in the
open air, which they did. And being sensible how strange the appearance
must be, observed, that a countryman whom they saw in a field, would
probably be thinking, 'If these two madmen should come down, what would
become of me?'
Soon after his return to London, which was in February, was founded that
CLUB which existed long without a name, but at Mr. Garrick's funeral
became distinguished by the title of THE LITERARY CLUB. Sir Joshua
Reynolds had the merit of being the first proposer of it, to which
Johnson acceded, and the original members were, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Dr.
Johnson, Mr. Edmund Burke, Dr. Nugent, Mr. Beauclerk, Mr. Langton, Dr.