Boswell's Life of Johnson
woman by my side, and this gun with which I can procure food when I want
it; what more can be desired for human happiness?' It did not require
much sagacity to foresee that such a sentiment would not be permitted to
pass without due animadversion. JOHNSON. 'Do not allow yourself, Sir, to
be imposed upon by such gross absurdity. It is sad stuff; it is brutish.
If a bull could speak, he might as well exclaim,--Here am I with this
cow and this grass; what being can enjoy greater felicity?'
We talked of the melancholy end of a gentleman who had destroyed
himself. JOHNSON. 'It was owing to imaginary difficulties in his
affairs, which, had he talked with any friend, would soon have
vanished.' BOSWELL. 'Do you think, Sir, that all who commit suicide are
mad?' JOHNSON. 'Sir, they are often not universally disordered in their
intellects, but one passion presses so upon them, that they yield to it,
and commit suicide, as a passionate man will stab another.' He added,
'I have often thought, that after a man has taken the resolution to kill
himself, it is not courage in him to do any thing, however desperate,
because he has nothing to fear.' GOLDSMITH. 'I don't see that.' JOHNSON.
'Nay, but my dear Sir, why should not you see what every one else sees?'
GOLDSMITH. 'It is for fear of something that he has resolved to kill
himself; and will not that timid disposition restrain him?' JOHNSON. 'It
does not signify that the fear of something made him resolve; it is
upon the state of his mind, after the resolution is taken, that I argue.
Suppose a man, either from fear, or pride, or conscience, or whatever
motive, has resolved to kill himself; when once the resolution is taken,
he has nothing to fear. He may then go and take the King of Prussia
by the nose, at the head of his army. He cannot fear the rack, who is
resolved to kill himself. When Eustace Budgel was walking down to the
Thames, determined to drown himself, he might, if he pleased, without
any apprehension of danger, have turned aside, and first set fire to St.
James's palace.'
On Tuesday, April 27, Mr. Beauclerk and I called on him in the morning.
As we walked up Johnson's-court, I said, 'I have a veneration for this
court;' and was glad to find that Beauclerk had the same reverential
enthusiasm. We found him alone. We talked of Mr. Andrew Stuart's elegant
and plausible Letters to Lord Mansfield: a copy of which had been sent
by the authour to Dr. Johnson. JOHNSON. 'They have not answered the end.
They have not been talked of; I have never heard of them. This is owing
to their not being sold. People seldom read a book which is given to
them; and few are given. The way to spread a work is to sell it at a low
price. No man will send to buy a thing that costs even sixpence, without
an intention to read it.'
He said, 'Goldsmith should not be for ever attempting to shine in
conversation: he has not temper for it, he is so much mortified when
he fails. Sir, a game of jokes is composed partly of skill, partly of
chance, a man may be beat at times by one who has not the tenth part of
his wit. Now Goldsmith's putting himself against another, is like a man
laying a hundred to one who cannot spare the hundred. It is not worth a
man's while. A man should not lay a hundred to one, unless he can easily
spare it, though he has a hundred chances for him: he can get but a
guinea, and he may lose a hundred. Goldsmith is in this state. When he
contends, if he gets the better, it is a very little addition to a
man of his literary reputation: if he does not get the better, he is
miserably vexed.'
Johnson's own superlative powers of wit set him above any risk of
such uneasiness. Garrick had remarked to me of him, a few days before,
'Rabelais and all other wits are nothing compared with him. You may
be diverted by them; but Johnson gives you a forcible hug, and shakes
laughter out of you, whether you will or no.'
Goldsmith, however, was often very fortunate in his witty contests, even
when he entered the lists with Johnson himself. Sir Joshua Reynolds was
in company with them one day, when Goldsmith said, that he thought he
could write a good fable, mentioned the simplicity which that kind of
composition requires, and observed, that in most fables the animals
introduced seldom talk in character. 'For instance, (said he,) the fable
of the little fishes, who saw birds fly over their heads, and envying
them, petitioned Jupiter to be changed into birds. The skill (continued
he,) consists in making them talk like little fishes.' While he indulged
himself in this fanciful reverie, he observed Johnson shaking his sides,
and laughing. Upon which he smartly proceeded, 'Why, Dr. Johnson, this
is not so easy as you seem to think; for if you were to make little
fishes talk, they would talk like WHALES.'
On Thursday, April 29, I dined with him at General Oglethorpe's, where
were Sir Joshua Reynolds, Mr. Langton, Dr. Goldsmith, and Mr. Thrale. I
was very desirous to get Dr. Johnson absolutely fixed in his resolution
to go with me to the Hebrides this year; and I told him that I had
received a letter from Dr. Robertson the historian, upon the subject,
with which he was much pleased; and now talked in such a manner of
his long-intended tour, that I was satisfied he meant to fulfil his
engagement.
The character of Mallet having been introduced, and spoken of
slightingly by Goldsmith; JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, Mallet had talents enough
to keep his literary reputation alive as long as he himself lived; and
that, let me tell you, is a good deal.' GOLDSMITH. 'But I cannot agree
that it was so. His literary reputation was dead long before his natural
death. I consider an authour's literary reputation to be alive
only while his name will ensure a good price for his copy from the
booksellers. I will get you (to Johnson,) a hundred guineas for any
thing whatever that you shall write, if you put your name to it.'
Dr. Goldsmith's new play, She Stoops to Conquer, being mentioned;
JOHNSON. 'I know of no comedy for many years that has so much
exhilarated an audience, that has answered so much the great end of
comedy--making an audience merry.'
Goldsmith having said, that Garrick's compliment to the Queen, which
he introduced into the play of The Chances, which he had altered and
revised this year, was mean and gross flattery; JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, I
would not WRITE, I would not give solemnly under my hand, a character
beyond what I thought really true; but a speech on the stage, let it
flatter ever so extravagantly, is formular. It has always been formular
to flatter Kings and Queens; so much so, that even in our church-service
we have "our most religious King," used indiscriminately, whoever is
King. Nay, they even flatter themselves;--"we have been graciously
pleased to grant." No modern flattery, however, is so gross as that
of the Augustan age, where the Emperour was deified. "Proesens Divus
habebitur Augustus." And as to meanness, (rising into warmth,) how is
it mean in a player,--a showman,--a fellow who exhibits himself for a
shilling, to flatter his Queen? The attempt, indeed, was dangerous; for
if it had missed, what became of Garrick, and what became of the Queen?
As Sir William Temple says of a great General, it is necessary not only
that his designs be formed in a masterly manner, but that they should be
attended with success. Sir, it is right, at a time when the Royal Family
is not generally liked, to let it be seen that the people like at least
one of them.' SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS. 'I do not perceive why the profession
of a player should be despised; for the great and ultimate end of all
the employments of mankind is to produce amusement. Garrick produces
more amusement than any body.' BOSWELL. 'You say, Dr. Johnson, that
Garrick exhibits himself for a shilling. In this respect he is only on
a footing with a lawyer who exhibits himself for his fee, and even will
maintain any nonsense or absurdity, if the case requires it. Garrick
refuses a play or a part which he does not like; a lawyer never
refuses.' JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, what does this prove? only that a lawyer
is worse. Boswell is now like Jack in The Tale of a Tub, who, when he is
puzzled by an argument, hangs himself. He thinks I shall cut him down,
but I'll let him hang.' (laughing vociferously.) SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS.
'Mr. Boswell thinks that the profession of a lawyer being unquestionably
honourable, if he can show the profession of a player to be more
honourable, he proves his argument.'
On Friday, April 30, I dined with him at Mr. Beauclerk's, where were
Lord Charlemont, Sir Joshua Reynolds, and some more members of the
LITERARY CLUB, whom he had obligingly invited to meet me, as I was
this evening to be balloted for as candidate for admission into that
distinguished society. Johnson had done me the honour to propose me, and
Beauclerk was very zealous for me.
Goldsmith being mentioned; JOHNSON. 'It is amazing how little Goldsmith
knows. He seldom comes where he is not more ignorant than any one else.'
SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS. 'Yet there is no man whose company is more
liked.' JOHNSON. 'To be sure, Sir. When people find a man of the most
distinguished abilities as a writer, their inferiour while he is with
them, it must be highly gratifying to them. What Goldsmith comically
says of himself is very true,--he always gets the better when he argues
alone; meaning, that he is master of a subject in his study, and can
write well upon it; but when he comes into company, grows confused,
and unable to talk. Take him as a poet, his Traveller is a very fine
performance; ay, and so is his Deserted Village, were it not sometimes
too much the echo of his Traveller. Whether, indeed, we take him as a
poet,--as a comick writer,--or as an historian, he stands in the first
class.' BOSWELL. 'An historian! My dear Sir, you surely will not rank
his compilation of the Roman History with the works of other
historians of this age?' JOHNSON. 'Why, who are before him?' BOSWELL.
'Hume,--Robertson,--Lord Lyttelton.' JOHNSON (his antipathy to the
Scotch beginning to rise). 'I have not read Hume; but, doubtless,
Goldsmith's History is better than the VERBIAGE of Robertson, or the
foppery of Dalrymple.' BOSWELL. 'Will you not admit the superiority of
Robertson, in whose History we find such penetration--such painting?'
JOHNSON. 'Sir, you must consider how that penetration and that painting
are employed. It is not history, it is imagination. He who describes
what he never saw, draws from fancy. Robertson paints minds as
Sir Joshua paints faces in a history-piece: he imagines an heroic
countenance. You must look upon Robertson's work as romance, and try
it by that standard. History it is not. Besides, Sir, it is the great
excellence of a writer to put into his book as much as his book will
hold. Goldsmith has done this in his History. Now Robertson might have
put twice as much into his book. Robertson is like a man who has packed
gold in wool: the wool takes up more room than the gold. No, Sir; I
always thought Robertson would be crushed by his own weight,--would be
buried under his own ornaments. Goldsmith tells you shortly all you want
to know: Robertson detains you a great deal too long. No man will
read Robertson's cumbrous detail a second time; but Goldsmith's plain
narrative will please again and again. I would say to Robertson what
an old tutor of a college said to one of his pupils: "Read over your
compositions, and where ever you meet with a passage which you think
is particularly fine, strike it out." Goldsmith's abridgement is better
than that of Lucius Florus or Eutropius; and I will venture to say, that
if you compare him with Vertot, in the same places of the Roman History,
you will find that he excels Vertot. Sir, he has the art of compiling,