Boswell's Life of Johnson
attestation of the gardener, who said, he had put in corks, where the
river Manyfold sinks into the ground, and had catched them in a net,
placed before one of the openings where the water bursts out. Indeed,
such subterraneous courses of water are found in various parts of our
globe.
Talking of Dr. Johnson's unwillingness to believe extraordinary things
I ventured to say, 'Sir, you come near Hume's argument against miracles,
"That it is more probable witnesses should lie, or be mistaken,
than that they should happen." JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, Hume, taking the
proposition simply, is right. But the Christian revelation is not proved
by the miracles alone, but as connected with prophecies, and with the
doctrines in confirmation of which the miracles were wrought.'
In the evening, a gentleman-farmer, who was on a visit at Dr. Taylor's,
attempted to dispute with Johnson in favour of Mungo Campbell, who shot
Alexander, Earl of Eglintoune, upon his having fallen, when retreating
from his Lordship, who he believed was about to seize his gun, as he
had threatened to do. He said, he should have done just as Campbell did.
JOHNSON. 'Whoever would do as Campbell did, deserves to be hanged; not
that I could, as a juryman, have found him legally guilty of murder; but
I am glad they found means to convict him.' The gentleman-farmer said,
'A poor man has as much honour as a rich man; and Campbell had THAT
to defend.' Johnson exclaimed, 'A poor man has no honour.' The English
yeoman, not dismayed, proceeded: 'Lord Eglintoune was a damned fool to
run on upon Campbell, after being warned that Campbell would shoot him
if he did.' Johnson, who could not bear any thing like swearing,
angrily replied, 'He was NOT a DAMNED fool: he only thought too well of
Campbell. He did not believe Campbell would be such a DAMNED scoundrel,
as to do so DAMNED a thing.' His emphasis on DAMNED, accompanied with
frowning looks, reproved his opponent's want of decorum in HIS presence.
During this interview at Ashbourne, Johnson seemed to be more uniformly
social, cheerful, and alert, than I had almost ever seen him. He was
prompt on great occasions and on small. Taylor, who praised every thing
of his own to excess; in short, 'whose geese were all swans,' as the
proverb says, expatiated on the excellence of his bull-dog, which,
he told us, was 'perfectly well shaped.' Johnson, after examining the
animal attentively, thus repressed the vain-glory of our host:--'No,
Sir, he is NOT well shaped; for there is not the quick transition
from the thickness of the fore-part, to the TENUITY--the thin
part--behind,--which a bull-dog ought to have.' This TENUITY was the
only HARD WORD that I heard him use during this interview, and it will
be observed, he instantly put another expression in its place. Taylor
said, a small bull-dog was as good as a large one. JOHNSON. 'No, Sir;
for, in proportion to his size, he has strength: and your argument would
prove, that a good bull-dog may be as small as a mouse.' It was amazing
how he entered with perspicuity and keenness upon every thing that
occurred in conversation. Most men, whom I know, would no more think of
discussing a question about a bull-dog, than of attacking a bull.
I cannot allow any fragment whatever that floats in my memory concerning
the great subject of this work to be lost. Though a small particular
may appear trifling to some, it will be relished by others; while every
little spark adds something to the general blaze: and to please the
true, candid, warm admirers of Johnson, and in any degree increase the
splendour of his reputation, I bid defiance to the shafts of ridicule,
or even of malignity. Showers of them have been discharged at my Journal
of a Tour to the Hebrides; yet it still sails unhurt along the stream of
time, and, as an attendant upon Johnson,
'Pursues the triumph, and partakes the gale.'
One morning after breakfast, when the sun shone bright, we walked
out together, and 'pored' for some time with placid indolence upon an
artificial water-fall, which Dr. Taylor had made by building a strong
dyke of stone across the river behind the garden. It was now somewhat
obstructed by branches of trees and other rubbish, which had come down
the river, and settled close to it. Johnson, partly from a desire to see
it play more freely, and partly from that inclination to activity which
will animate, at times, the most inert and sluggish mortal, took a long
pole which was lying on a bank, and pushed down several parcels of this
wreck with painful assiduity, while I stood quietly by, wondering to
behold the sage thus curiously employed, and smiling with an humorous
satisfaction each time when he carried his point. He worked till he was
quite out of breath; and having found a large dead cat so heavy that he
could not move it after several efforts, 'Come,' said he, (throwing down
the pole,) 'YOU shall take it now;' which I accordingly did, and being
a fresh man, soon made the cat tumble over the cascade. This may be
laughed at as too trifling to record; but it is a small characteristick
trait in the Flemish picture which I give of my friend, and in which,
therefore I mark the most minute particulars. And let it be remembered,
that Aesop at play is one of the instructive apologues of antiquity.
Talking of Rochester's Poems, he said, he had given them to Mr. Steevens
to castrate for the edition of the poets, to which he was to write
Prefaces. Dr. Taylor (the only time I ever heard him say any thing
witty) observed, that if Rochester had been castrated himself, his
exceptionable poems would not have been written.' I asked if Burnet
had not given a good Life of Rochester. JOHNSON. 'We have a good Death:
there is not much Life.' I asked whether Prior's Poems were to be
printed entire: Johnson said they were. I mentioned Lord Hailes's
censure of Prior, in his Preface to a collection of Sacred Poems, by
various hands, published by him at Edinburgh a great many years ago,
where he mentions, 'those impure tales which will be the eternal
opprobrium of their ingenious authour.' JOHNSON. 'Sir, Lord Hailes has
forgot. There is nothing in Prior that will excite to lewdness. If Lord
Hailes thinks there is, he must be more combustible than other people.'
I instanced the tale of Paulo Purganti and his Wife. JOHNSON. Sir, there
is nothing there, but that his wife wanted to be kissed when poor Paulo
was out of pocket. No, Sir, Prior is a lady's book. No lady is ashamed
to have it standing in her library.'
The hypochondriack disorder being mentioned, Dr. Johnson did not think
it so common as I supposed. 'Dr. Taylor (said he,) is the same one day
as another. Burke and Reynolds are the same; Beauclerk, except when
in pain, is the same. I am not so myself; but this I do not mention
commonly.'
Dr. Johnson advised me to-day, to have as many books about me as I
could; that I might read upon any subject upon which I had a desire
for instruction at the time. 'What you read THEN (said he,) you will
remember; but if you have not a book immediately ready, and the subject
moulds in your mind, it is a chance if you again have a desire to study
it.' He added, 'If a man never has an eager desire for instruction, he
should prescribe a task for himself. But it is better when a man reads
from immediate inclination.'
He repeated a good many lines of Horace's Odes, while we were in the
chaise. I remember particularly the Ode Eheu fugaces.
He told me that Bacon was a favourite authour with him; but he had never
read his works till he was compiling the English Dictionary, in which,
he said, I might see Bacon very often quoted. Mr. Seward recollects his
having mentioned, that a Dictionary of the English Language might be
compiled from Bacon's writings alone, and that he had once an intention
of giving an edition of Bacon, at least of his English works, and
writing the Life of that great man. Had he executed this intention,
there can be no doubt that he would have done it in a most masterly
manner.
Wishing to be satisfied what degree of truth there was in a story
which a friend of Johnson's and mine had told me to his disadvantage, I
mentioned it to him in direct terms; and it was to this effect: that
a gentleman who had lived in great intimacy with him, shewn him much
kindness, and even relieved him from a spunging-house, having afterwards
fallen into bad circumstances, was one day, when Johnson was at dinner
with him, seized for debt, and carried to prison; that Johnson sat still
undisturbed, and went on eating and drinking; upon which the gentleman's
sister, who was present, could not suppress her indignation: 'What,
Sir, (said she,) are you so unfeeling, as not even to offer to go to my
brother in his distress; you who have been so much obliged to him?' And
that Johnson answered, 'Madam, I owe him no obligation; what he did for
me he would have done for a dog.'
Johnson assured me, that the story was absolutely false: but like a man
conscious of being in the right, and desirous of completely vindicating
himself from such a charge, he did not arrogantly rest on a mere denial,
and on his general character, but proceeded thus:--'Sir, I was very
intimate with that gentleman, and was once relieved by him from an
arrest; but I never was present when he was arrested, never knew that he
was arrested, and I believe he never was in difficulties after the time
when he relieved me. I loved him much; yet, in talking of his general
character, I may have said, though I do not remember that I ever did say
so, that as his generosity proceeded from no principle, but was a part
of his profusion, he would do for a dog what he would do for a friend:
but I never applied this remark to any particular instance, and
certainly not to his kindness to me. If a profuse man, who does not
value his money, and gives a large sum to a whore, gives half as much,
or an equally large sum to relieve a friend, it cannot be esteemed as
virtue. This was all that I could say of that gentleman; and, if said at
all, it must have been said after his death. Sir, I would have gone to
the world's end to relieve him. The remark about the dog, if made by me,
was such a sally as might escape one when painting a man highly.'
On Tuesday, September 23, Johnson was remarkably cordial to me. It being
necessary for me to return to Scotland soon, I had fixed on the next
day for my setting out, and I felt a tender concern at the thought of
parting with him. He had, at this time, frankly communicated to me many
particulars, which are inserted in this work in their proper places; and
once, when I happened to mention that the expence of my jaunt would come
to much more than I had computed, he said, 'Why, Sir, if the expence
were to be an inconvenience, you would have reason to regret it: but,
if you have had the money to spend, I know not that you could have
purchased as much pleasure with it in any other way.'
I perceived that he pronounced the word heard, as if spelt with a double
e, heerd, instead of sounding it herd, as is most usually done. He said,
his reason was, that if it was pronounced herd, there would be a single
exception from the English pronunciation of the syllable ear, and he
thought it better not to have that exception.
In the evening our gentleman-farmer, and two others, entertained
themselves and the company with a great number of tunes on the fiddle.
Johnson desired to have 'Let ambition fire thy mind,' played over again,
and appeared to give a patient attention to it; though he owned to me
that he was very insensible to the power of musick. I told him, that it
affected me to such a degree, as often to agitate my nerves painfully,
producing in my mind alternate sensations of pathetick dejection, so