Boswell's Life of Johnson
to catch you in the fact; it was not an old WOMAN, but an old MAN, whom
I mentioned as having told me this.' I presumed to take an opportunity,
in presence of Johnson, of shewing this lively lady how ready she was,
unintentionally, to deviate from exact authenticity of narration.
Next morning, while we were at breakfast, Johnson gave a very
earnest recommendation of what he himself practised with the utmost
conscientiousness: I mean a strict attention to truth, even in the most
minute particulars. 'Accustom your children (said he,) constantly to
this; if a thing happened at one window, and they, when relating it,
say that it happened at another, do not let it pass, but instantly check
them; you do not know where deviation from truth will end.' BOSWELL. 'It
may come to the door: and when once an account is at all varied in one
circumstance, it may by degrees be varied so as to be totally different
from what really happened.' Our lively hostess, whose fancy was
impatient of the rein, fidgeted at this, and ventured to say, 'Nay,
this is too much. If Mr. Johnson should forbid me to drink tea, I would
comply, as I should feel the restraint only twice a day; but little
variations in narrative must happen a thousand times a day, if one is
not perpetually watching.' JOHNSON. 'Well, Madam, and you OUGHT to be
perpetually watching. It is more from carelessness about truth than from
intentional lying, that there is so much falsehood in the world.'
He was indeed so much impressed with the prevalence of falsehood,
voluntary or unintentional, that I never knew any person who upon
hearing an extraordinary circumstance told, discovered more of the
incredulus odi. He would say, with a significant look and decisive
tone, 'It is not so. Do not tell this again.' He inculcated upon all
his friends the importance of perpetual vigilance against the slightest
degrees of falsehood; the effect of which, as Sir Joshua Reynolds
observed to me, has been, that all who were of his SCHOOL are
distinguished for a love of truth and accuracy, which they would not
have possessed in the same degree, if they had not been acquainted with
Johnson.
Talking of ghosts, he said, 'It is wonderful that five thousand years
have now elapsed since the creation of the world, and still it is
undecided whether or not there has ever been an instance of the spirit
of any person appearing after death. All argument is against it; but all
belief is for it.'
He said, 'John Wesley's conversation is good, but he is never at
leisure. He is always obliged to go at a certain hour. This is very
disagreeable to a man who loves to fold his legs and have out his talk,
as I do.'
On Friday, April 3, I dined with him in London, in a company* where
were present several eminent men, whom I shall not name, but distinguish
their parts in the conversation by different letters.
* The Club. Hill identifies E. as Burke and J. as Sir
Joshua Reynolds.--ED.
E. 'We hear prodigious complaints at present of emigration. I am
convinced that emigration makes a country more populous.' J. 'That
sounds very much like a paradox.' E. 'Exportation of men, like
exportation of all other commodities, makes more be produced.' JOHNSON.
'But there would be more people were there not emigration, provided
there were food for more.' E. 'No; leave a few breeders, and you'll have
more people than if there were no emigration.' JOHNSON. 'Nay, Sir, it is
plain there will be more people, if there are more breeders. Thirty cows
in good pasture will produce more calves than ten cows, provided they
have good bulls.' E. 'There are bulls enough in Ireland.' JOHNSON.
(smiling,) 'So, Sir, I should think from your argument.'
E. 'I believe, in any body of men in England, I should have been in the
Minority; I have always been in the Minority.' P. 'The House of
Commons resembles a private company. How seldom is any man convinced by
another's argument; passion and pride rise against it.' R. 'What would
be the consequence, if a Minister, sure of a majority in the House of
Commons, should resolve that there should be no speaking at all upon his
side.' E. 'He must soon go out. That has been tried; but it was found it
would not do.' . . . .
JOHNSON. 'I have been reading Thicknesse's Travels, which I think are
entertaining.' BOSWELL. 'What, Sir, a good book?' JOHNSON. 'Yes, Sir,
to read once; I do not say you are to make a study of it, and digest it;
and I believe it to be a true book in his intention.'
E. 'From the experience which I have had,--and I have had a great
deal,--I have learnt to think BETTER of mankind.' JOHNSON. 'From my
experience I have found them worse in commercial dealings, more disposed
to cheat, than I had any notion of; but more disposed to do one another
good than I had conceived.' J. 'Less just and more beneficent.' JOHNSON.
'And really it is wonderful, considering how much attention is necessary
for men to take care of themselves, and ward off immediate evils which
press upon them, it is wonderful how much they do for others. As it is
said of the greatest liar, that he tells more truth than falsehood;
so it may be said of the worst man, that he does more good than evil.'
BOSWELL. 'Perhaps from experience men may be found HAPPIER than we
suppose.' JOHNSON. 'No, Sir; the more we enquire, we shall find men the
less happy.'
E. 'I understand the hogshead of claret, which this society was favoured
with by our friend the Dean, is nearly out; I think he should be written
to, to send another of the same kind. Let the request be made with a
happy ambiguity of expression, so that we may have the chance of his
sending IT also as a present.' JOHNSON. 'I am willing to offer my
services as secretary on this occasion.' P. 'As many as are for Dr.
Johnson being secretary hold up your hands.--Carried unanimously.'
BOSWELL. 'He will be our Dictator.' JOHNSON. 'No, the company is
to dictate to me. I am only to write for wine; and I am quite
disinterested, as I drink none; I shall not be suspected of having
forged the application. I am no more than humble SCRIBE.' E. 'Then you
shall PREscribe.' BOSWELL. 'Very well. The first play of words to-day.'
J. 'No, no; the BULLS in Ireland.' JOHNSON. 'Were I your Dictator you
should have no wine. It would be my business cavere ne quid detrimenti
Respublica caperet, and wine is dangerous. Rome was ruined by luxury,'
(smiling.) E. 'If you allow no wine as Dictator, you shall not have me
for your master of horse.'
On Saturday, April 4, I drank tea with Johnson at Dr. Taylor's, where he
had dined.
He was very silent this evening; and read in a variety of books:
suddenly throwing down one, and taking up another.
He talked of going to Streatham that night. TAYLOR. 'You'll be robbed
if you do: or you must shoot a highwayman. Now I would rather be robbed
than do that; I would not shoot a highwayman.' JOHNSON. 'But I would
rather shoot him in the instant when he is attempting to rob me, than
afterwards swear against him at the Old-Bailey, to take away his life,
after he has robbed me. I am surer I am right in the one case than in
the other. I may be mistaken as to the man, when I swear: I cannot be
mistaken, if I shoot him in the act. Besides, we feel less reluctance to
take away a man's life, when we are heated by the injury, than to do it
at a distance of time by an oath, after we have cooled.' BOSWELL. 'So,
Sir, you would rather act from the motive of private passion, than that
of publick advantage.' JOHNSON. 'Nay, Sir, when I shoot the highwayman
I act from both.' BOSWELL. 'Very well, very well--There is no catching
him.' JOHNSON. 'At the same time one does not know what to say. For
perhaps one may, a year after, hang himself from uneasiness for having
shot a man. Few minds are fit to be trusted with so great a thing.'
BOSWELL. 'Then, Sir, you would not shoot him?' JOHNSON. 'But I might be
vexed afterwards for that too.'
Thrale's carriage not having come for him, as he expected, I accompanied
him some part of the way home to his own house. I told him, that I had
talked of him to Mr. Dunning a few days before, and had said, that in
his company we did not so much interchange conversation, as listen to
him; and that Dunning observed, upon this, 'One is always willing to
listen to Dr. Johnson:' to which I answered, 'That is a great deal from
you, Sir.'--'Yes, Sir, (said Johnson,) a great deal indeed. Here is a
man willing to listen, to whom the world is listening all the rest of
the year.' BOSWELL. 'I think, Sir, it is right to tell one man of such
a handsome thing, which has been said of him by another. It tends to
increase benevolence.' JOHNSON. 'Undoubtedly it is right, Sir.'
On Tuesday, April 7, I breakfasted with him at his house. He said,
'nobody was content.' I mentioned to him a respectable person in
Scotland whom he knew; and I asserted, that I really believed he was
always content. JOHNSON. 'No, Sir, he is not content with the present;
he has always some new scheme, some new plantation, something which is
future. You know he was not content as a widower; for he married again.'
BOSWELL. 'But he is not restless.' JOHNSON. 'Sir, he is only locally at
rest. A chymist is locally at rest; but his mind is hard at work. This
gentleman has done with external exertions. It is too late for him to
engage in distant projects.' BOSWELL. 'He seems to amuse himself quite
well; to have his attention fixed, and his tranquillity preserved by
very small matters. I have tried this; but it would not do with
me.' JOHNSON. (laughing,) 'No, Sir; it must be born with a man to be
contented to take up with little things. Women have a great advantage
that they may take up with little things, without disgracing themselves:
a man cannot, except with fiddling. Had I learnt to fiddle, I should
have done nothing else.' BOSWELL. 'Pray, Sir, did you ever play on any
musical instrument?' JOHNSON. 'No, Sir. I once bought me a flagelet;
but I never made out a tune.' BOSWELL. 'A flagelet, Sir!--so small an
instrument? I should have liked to hear you play on the violoncello.
THAT should have been YOUR instrument.' JOHNSON. 'Sir, I might as
well have played on the violoncello as another; but I should have done
nothing else. No, Sir; a man would never undertake great things, could
he be amused with small. I once tried knotting. Dempster's sister
undertook to teach me; but I could not learn it.' BOSWELL. 'So, Sir; it
will be related in pompous narrative, "Once for his amusement he
tried knotting; nor did this Hercules disdain the distaff."' JOHNSON.
'Knitting of stockings is a good amusement. As a freeman of Aberdeen I
should be a knitter of stockings.' He asked me to go down with him and
dine at Mr. Thrale's at Streatham, to which I agreed. I had lent him An
Account of Scotland, in 1702, written by a man of various enquiry, an
English chaplain to a regiment stationed there. JOHNSON. 'It is sad
stuff, Sir, miserably written, as books in general then were. There is
now an elegance of style universally diffused. No man now writes so ill
as Martin's Account of the Hebrides is written. A man could not write so
ill, if he should try. Set a merchant's clerk now to write, and he'll do
better.'
He talked to me with serious concern of a certain female friend's
'laxity of narration, and inattention to truth.'--'I am as much vexed
(said he,) at the ease with which she hears it mentioned to her, as at
the thing itself. I told her, "Madam, you are contented to hear every
day said to you, what the highest of mankind have died for, rather than
bear."--You know, Sir, the highest of mankind have died rather than
bear to be told they had uttered a falsehood. Do talk to her of it: I am
weary.'
BOSWELL. 'Was not Dr. John Campbell a very inaccurate man in his