Boswell's Life of Johnson
of the world as to be nothing in the world. I remember a passage in
Goldsmith's Vicar of Wakefield, which he was afterwards fool enough to
expunge: "I do not love a man who is zealous for nothing."' BOSWELL.
'That was a fine passage.' JOHNSON. 'Yes, Sir: there was another fine
passage too, which be struck out: "When I was a young man, being anxious
to distinguish myself, I was perpetually starting new propositions.
But I soon gave this over; for, I found that generally what was new was
false."' I said I did not like to sit with people of whom I had not a
good opinion. JOHNSON. 'But you must not indulge your delicacy too much;
or you will be a tete-a-tete man all your life.'
During my stay in London this spring, I find I was unaccountably
negligent in preserving Johnson's sayings, more so than at any time when
I was happy enough to have an opportunity of hearing his wisdom and wit.
There is no help for it now. I must content myself with presenting such
scraps as I have. But I am nevertheless ashamed and vexed to think how
much has been lost. It is not that there was a bad crop this year; but
that I was not sufficiently careful in gathering it in. I, therefore, in
some instances can only exhibit a few detached fragments.
Talking of the wonderful concealment of the authour of the celebrated
letters signed Junius; he said, 'I should have believed Burke to be
Junius, because I know no man but Burke who is capable of writing these
letters; but Burke spontaneously denied it to me. The case would
have been different had I asked him if he was the authour; a man so
questioned, as to an anonymous publication, may think he has a right to
deny it.'
On Wednesday, March 31, when I visited him, and confessed an excess of
which I had very seldom been guilty; that I had spent a whole night
in playing at cards, and that I could not look back on it with
satisfaction; instead of a harsh animadversion, he mildly said, 'Alas,
Sir, on how few things can we look back with satisfaction.'
On Friday, April 2, being Good-Friday, I visited him in the morning as
usual; and finding that we insensibly fell into a train of ridicule upon
the foibles of one of our friends, a very worthy man, I, by way of a
check, quoted some good admonition from The Government of the Tongue,
that very pious book. It happened also remarkably enough, that the
subject of the sermon preached to us to-day by Dr. Burrows, the rector
of St. Clement Danes, was the certainty that at the last day we must
give an account of 'the deeds done in the body;' and, amongst various
acts of culpability he mentioned evil-speaking. As we were moving slowly
along in the crowd from church, Johnson jogged my elbow, and said, 'Did
you attend to the sermon?' 'Yes, Sir, (said I,) it was very applicable
to US.' He, however, stood upon the defensive. 'Why, Sir, the sense
of ridicule is given us, and may be lawfully used. The authour of The
Government of the Tongue would have us treat all men alike.'
In the interval between morning and evening service, he endeavoured
to employ himself earnestly in devotional exercises; and as he has
mentioned in his Prayers and Meditations, gave me Les Pensees de
Paschal, that I might not interrupt him. I preserve the book with
reverence. His presenting it to me is marked upon it with his own hand,
and I have found in it a truly divine unction. We went to church again
in the afternoon.
On Wednesday, April 7, I dined with him at Sir Joshua Reynolds's. I have
not marked what company was there. Johnson harangued upon the qualities
of different liquors; and spoke with great contempt of claret, as so
weak, that a man would be drowned by it before it made him drunk.' He
was persuaded to drink one glass of it, that he might judge, not from
recollection, which might be dim, but from immediate sensation. He shook
his head, and said, 'Poor stuff! No, Sir, claret is the liquor for boys;
port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero (smiling), must drink
brandy. In the first place, the flavour of brandy is most grateful to
the palate; and then brandy will do soonest for a man what drinking CAN
do for him. There are, indeed, few who are able to drink brandy. That is
a power rather to be wished for than attained. And yet, (proceeded he,)
as in all pleasure hope is a considerable part, I know not but fruition
comes too quick by brandy. Florence wine I think the worst; it is wine
only to the eye; it is wine neither while you are drinking it, nor after
you have drunk it; it neither pleases the taste, nor exhilarates the
spirits.' I reminded him how heartily he and I used to drink wine
together, when we were first acquainted; and how I used to have a
head-ache after sitting up with him. He did not like to have this
recalled, or, perhaps, thinking that I boasted improperly, resolved to
have a witty stroke at me: 'Nay, Sir, it was not the WINE that made your
head ache, but the SENSE that I put into it.' BOSWELL. 'What, Sir! will
sense make the head ache?' JOHNSON. 'Yes, Sir, (with a smile,) when it
is not used to it.'--No man who has a true relish of pleasantry could be
offended at this; especially if Johnson in a long intimacy had given him
repeated proofs of his regard and good estimation. I used to say, that
as he had given me a thousand pounds in praise, he had a good right now
and then to take a guinea from me.
On Thursday, April 8, I dined with him at Mr. Allan Ramsay's, with
Lord Graham and some other company. We talked of Shakspeare's witches.
JOHNSON. 'They are beings of his own creation; they are a compound of
malignity and meanness, without any abilities; and are quite different
from the Italian magician. King James says in his Daemonology,
'Magicians command the devils: witches are their servants. The Italian
magicians are elegant beings.' RAMSAY. 'Opera witches, not Drury-lane
witches.' Johnson observed, that abilities might be employed in a narrow
sphere, as in getting money, which he said he believed no man could do,
without vigorous parts, though concentrated to a point. RAMSAY. 'Yes,
like a strong horse in a mill; he pulls better.'
Lord Graham, while he praised the beauty of Lochlomond, on the banks of
which is his family seat, complained of the climate, and said he could
not bear it. JOHNSON. 'Nay, my Lord, don't talk so: you may bear it well
enough. Your ancestors have borne it more years than I can tell.' This
was a handsome compliment to the antiquity of the House of Montrose. His
Lordship told me afterwards, that he had only affected to complain of
the climate; lest, if he had spoken as favourably of his country as he
really thought, Dr. Johnson might have attacked it. Johnson was very
courteous to Lady Margaret Macdonald. 'Madam, (said he,) when I was in
the Isle of Sky, I heard of the people running to take the stones off
the road, lest Lady Margaret's horse should stumble.'
Lord Graham commended Dr. Drummond at Naples, as a man of extraordinary
talents; and added, that he had a great love of liberty. JOHNSON. 'He is
YOUNG, my Lord; (looking to his Lordship with an arch smile,) all BOYS
love liberty, till experience convinces them they are not so fit to
govern themselves as they imagined. We are all agreed as to our own
liberty; we would have as much of it as we can get; but we are not
agreed as to the liberty of others: for in proportion as we take, others
must lose. I believe we hardly wish that the mob should have liberty to
govern us. When that was the case some time ago, no man was at liberty
not to have candles in his windows.' RAMSAY. 'The result is, that order
is better than confusion.' JOHNSON. 'The result is, that order cannot be
had but by subordination.'
On Friday, April 16, I had been present at the trial of the unfortunate
Mr. Hackman, who, in a fit of frantick jealous love, had shot Miss Ray,
the favourite of a nobleman. Johnson, in whose company I dined to-day
with some other friends, was much interested by my account of what
passed, and particularly with his prayer for the mercy of heaven. He
said, in a solemn fervid tone, 'I hope he SHALL find mercy.'
This day a violent altercation arose between Johnson and Beauclerk,
which having made much noise at the time, I think it proper, in order to
prevent any future misrepresentation, to give a minute account of it.
In talking of Hackman, Johnson argued, as Judge Blackstone had done,
that his being furnished with two pistols was a proof that he meant to
shoot two persons. Mr. Beauclerk said, 'No; for that every wise man who
intended to shoot himself, took two pistols, that he might be sure of
doing it at once. Lord ------ ------' cook shot himself with one pistol,
and lived ten days in great agony. Mr. ------, who loved buttered
muffins, but durst not eat them because they disagreed with his stomach,
resolved to shoot himself; and then he eat three buttered muffins
for breakfast, before shooting himself, knowing that he should not be
troubled with indigestion: HE had two charged pistols; one was found
lying charged upon the table by him, after he had shot himself with the
other.' 'Well, (said Johnson, with an air of triumph,) you see here one
pistol was sufficient.' Beauclerk replied smartly, 'Because it happened
to kill him.' And either then or a very little afterwards, being piqued
at Johnson's triumphant remark, added, 'This is what you don't know,
and I do.' There was then a cessation of the dispute; and some minutes
intervened, during which, dinner and the glass went on cheerfully; when
Johnson suddenly and abruptly exclaimed, 'Mr. Beauclerk, how came you
to talk so petulantly to me, as "This is what you don't know, but what I
know"? One thing I know, which YOU don't seem to know, that you are very
uncivil.' BEAUCLERK. 'Because YOU began by being uncivil, (which you
always are.)' The words in parenthesis were, I believe, not heard by Dr.
Johnson. Here again there was a cessation of arms. Johnson told me, that
the reason why he waited at first some time without taking any notice of
what Mr. Beauclerk said, was because he was thinking whether he should
resent it. But when he considered that there were present a young Lord
and an eminent traveller, two men of the world with whom he had never
dined before, he was apprehensive that they might think they had a right
to take such liberties with him as Beauclerk did, and therefore resolved
he would not let it pass; adding, that 'he would not appear a coward.'
A little while after this, the conversation turned on the violence of
Hackman's temper. Johnson then said, 'It was his business to COMMAND his
temper, as my friend, Mr. Beauclerk, should have done some time ago.'
BEAUCLERK. 'I should learn of YOU, Sir.' JOHNSON. 'Sir, you have given
ME opportunities enough of learning, when I have been in YOUR company.
No man loves to be treated with contempt.' BEAUCLERK. (with a polite
inclination towards Johnson,) 'Sir, you have known me twenty years, and
however I may have treated others, you may be sure I could never
treat you with contempt.' JOHNSON. 'Sir, you have said more than was
necessary.' Thus it ended; and Beauclerk's coach not having come for him
till very late, Dr. Johnson and another gentleman sat with him a long
time after the rest of the company were gone; and he and I dined at
Beauclerk's on the Saturday se'nnight following.
After this tempest had subsided, I recollect the following particulars
of his conversation:--
'I am always for getting a boy forward in his learning; for that is a
sure good. I would let him at first read ANY English book which happens
to engage his attention; because you have done a great deal when you
have brought him to have entertainment from a book. He'll get better
books afterwards.'
'To be contradicted, in order to force you to talk, is mighty