Boswell's Life of Johnson
times against him, will accost you with equal complaisance after each
time, and the twentieth time, Sir, he will get your vote."'
'Talking on the subject of toleration, one day when some friends were
with him in his study, he made his usual remark, that the State has a
right to regulate the religion of the people, who are the children of
the State. A clergyman having readily acquiesced in this, Johnson, who
loved discussion, observed, "But, Sir, you must go round to other States
than your own. You do not know what a Bramin has to say for himself. In
short, Sir, I have got no further than this: Every man has a right to
utter what he thinks truth, and every other man has a right to knock him
down for it. Martyrdom is the test."'
'Goldsmith one day brought to THE CLUB a printed Ode, which he, with
others, had been hearing read by its authour in a publick room at the
rate of five shillings each for admission. One of the company having
read it aloud, Dr. Johnson said, "Bolder words and more timorous
meaning, I think never were brought together."
'Talking of Gray's Odes, he said, "They are forced plants raised in a
hot-bed; and they are poor plants; they are but cucumbers after all." A
gentleman present, who had been running down Ode-writing in general,
as a bad species of poetry, unluckily said, "Had they been literally
cucumbers, they had been better things than Odes."--"Yes, Sir, (said
Johnson,) for a HOG."'
'It is very remarkable, that he retained in his memory very slight and
trivial, as well as important things. As an instance of this, it seems
that an inferiour domestick of the Duke of Leeds had attempted to
celebrate his Grace's marriage in such homely rhimes as he could make;
and this curious composition having been sung to Dr. Johnson he got it
by heart, and used to repeat it in a very pleasant manner. Two of the
stanzas were these:--
"When the Duke of Leeds shall married be
To a fine young lady of high quality,
How happy will that gentlewoman be
In his Grace of Leeds's good company.
She shall have all that's fine and fair,
And the best of silk and satin shall wear;
And ride in a coach to take the air,
And have a house in St. James's-square."
To hear a man, of the weight and dignity of Johnson, repeating such
humble attempts at poetry, had a very amusing effect. He, however,
seriously observed of the last stanza repeated by him, that it nearly
comprized all the advantages that wealth can give.
'An eminent foreigner, when he was shewn the British Museum, was very
troublesome with many absurd inquiries. "Now there, Sir, (said he,) is
the difference between an Englishman and a Frenchman. A Frenchman must
be always talking, whether he knows any thing of the matter or not; an
Englishman is content to say nothing, when he has nothing to say."
'His unjust contempt for foreigners was, indeed, extreme. One evening,
at old Slaughter's coffee-house, when a number of them were talking
loud about little matters, he said, "Does not this confirm old Meynell's
observation--For any thing I see, foreigners are fools."'
'He said, that once, when he had a violent tooth-ache, a Frenchman
accosted him thus:--"Ah, Monsieur vous etudiez trop."'
'Colman, in a note on his translation of Terence, talking of
Shakspeare's learning, asks, "What says Farmer to this? What says
Johnson?" Upon this he observed, "Sir, let Farmer answer for himself: I
never engaged in this controversy. I always said, Shakspeare had Latin
enough to grammaticise his English."'
'A clergyman, whom he characterised as one who loved to say little
oddities, was affecting one day, at a Bishop's table, a sort of slyness
and freedom not in character, and repeated, as if part of The Old Man's
Wish, a song by Dr. Walter Pope, a verse bordering on licentiousness.
Johnson rebuked him in the finest manner, by first shewing him that he
did not know the passage he was aiming at, and thus humbling him:
"Sir, that is not the song: it is thus." And he gave it right. Then
looking stedfastly on him, "Sir, there is a part of that song which I
should wish to exemplify in my own life:--
"May I govern my passions with absolute sway!"'
'He used frequently to observe, that men might be very eminent in a
profession, without our perceiving any particular power of mind in them
in conversation. "It seems strange (said he,) that a man should see so
far to the right, who sees so short a way to the left. Burke is the only
man whose common conversation corresponds with the general fame which
he has in the world. Take up whatever topick you please, he is ready to
meet you."'
'Mr. Langton, when a very young man, read Dodsley's Cleone, a Tragedy,
to him, not aware of his extreme impatience to be read to. As it went
on he turned his face to the back of his chair, and put himself into
various attitudes, which marked his uneasiness. At the end of an
act, however, he said, "Come let's have some more, let's go into the
slaughter-house again, Lanky. But I am afraid there is more blood than
brains."
'Snatches of reading (said he,) will not make a Bentley or a Clarke.
They are, however, in a certain degree advantageous. I would put a
child into a library (where no unfit books are) and let him read at his
choice. A child should not be discouraged from reading any thing that he
takes a liking to, from a notion that it is above his reach. If that
be the ease, the child will soon find it out and desist; if not, he of
course gains the instruction; which is so much the more likely to come,
from the inclination with which he takes up the study.'
'A gentleman who introduced his brother to Dr. Johnson was earnest to
recommend him to the Doctor's notice, which he did by saying, "When
we have sat together some time, you'll find my brother grow very
entertaining."--"Sir, (said Johnson,) I can wait."'
'In the latter part of his life, in order to satisfy himself whether his
mental faculties were impaired, he resolved that he would try to learn
a new language, and fixed upon the Low Dutch, for that purpose, and this
he continued till he had read about one half of Thomas a Kempis; and
finding that there appeared no abatement of his power of acquisition, he
then desisted, as thinking the experiment had been duly tried.'
'Mr. Langton and he having gone to see a Freemason's funeral procession,
when they were at Rochester, and some solemn musick being played on
French horns, he said, "This is the first time that I have ever been
affected by musical sounds;" adding, "that the impression made upon him
was of a melancholy kind." Mr. Langton saying, that this effect was a
fine one,--JOHNSON. "Yes, if it softens the mind, so as to prepare it
for the reception of salutary feelings, it may be good: but inasmuch as
it is melancholy per se, it is bad."'
'Goldsmith had long a visionary project, that some time or other when
his circumstances should be easier, he would go to Aleppo, in order to
acquire a knowledge as far as might be of any arts peculiar to the
East, and introduce them into Britain. When this was talked of in Dr.
Johnson's company, he said, "Of all men Goldsmith is the most unfit to
go out upon such an inquiry; for he is utterly ignorant of such arts
as we already possess, and consequently could not know what would be
accessions to our present stock of mechanical knowledge. Sir, he would
bring home a grinding barrow, which you see in every street in London,
and think that he had furnished a wonderful improvement."'
'Greek, Sir, (said he,) is like lace; every man gets as much of it as he
can.'
'Johnson one day gave high praise to Dr. Bentley's verses in Dodsley's
Collection, which he recited with his usual energy. Dr. Adam Smith,
who was present, observed in his decisive professorial manner, "Very
well--Very well." Johnson however added, "Yes, they ARE very well, Sir;
but you may observe in what manner they are well. They are the forcible
verses of a man of a strong mind, but not accustomed to write verse; for
there is some uncouthness in the expression."'
'Drinking tea one day at Garrick's with Mr. Langton, he was questioned
if he was not somewhat of a heretick as to Shakspeare; said Garrick, "I
doubt he is a little of an infidel."--"Sir, (said Johnson,) I will stand
by the lines I have written on Shakspeare in my Prologue at the opening
of your Theatre." Mr. Langton suggested, that in the line
"And panting Time toil'd after him in vain,"
Johnson might have had in his eye the passage in The Tempest, where
Prospero says of Miranda,
"-----She will outstrip all praise,
And make it halt behind her."
Johnson said nothing. Garrick then ventured to observe, "I do not think
that the happiest line in the praise of Shakspeare." Johnson exclaimed
(smiling,) "Prosaical rogues! next time I write, I'll make both time and
space pant."'
'It is well known that there was formerly a rude custom for those who
were sailing upon the Thames, to accost each other as they passed, in
the most abusive language they could invent, generally, however, with as
much satirical humour as they were capable of producing. Addison gives
a specimen of this ribaldry, in Number 383 of The Spectator, when Sir
Roger de Coverly and he are going to Spring-garden. Johnson was once
eminently successful in this species of contest; a fellow having
attacked him with some coarse raillery, Johnson answered him thus, "Sir,
your wife, under pretence of keeping a bawdy-house, is a receiver of
stolen goods." One evening when he and Mr. Burke and Mr. Langton were
in company together, and the admirable scolding of Timon of Athens was
mentioned, this instance of Johnson's was quoted, and thought to have at
least equal excellence.'
'As Johnson always allowed the extraordinary talents of Mr. Burke, so
Mr. Burke was fully sensible of the wonderful powers of Johnson. Mr.
Langton recollects having passed an evening with both of them, when Mr.
Burke repeatedly entered upon topicks which it was evident he would have
illustrated with extensive knowledge and richness of expression; but
Johnson always seized upon the conversation, in which, however, he
acquitted himself in a most masterly manner. As Mr. Burke and Mr.
Langton were walking home, Mr. Burke observed that Johnson had been very
great that night; Mr. Langton joined in this, but added, he could have
wished to hear more from another person; (plainly intimating that he
meant Mr. Burke.) "O, no (said Mr. Burke,) it is enough for me to have
rung the bell to him."'
'Beauclerk having observed to him of one of their friends, that he was
aukward at counting money, "Why, Sir, (said Johnson,) I am likewise
aukward at counting money. But then, Sir, the reason is plain; I have
had very little money to count."'
'Goldsmith, upon being visited by Johnson one day in the Temple, said
to him with a little jealousy of the appearance of his accommodation, "I
shall soon be in better chambers than these." Johnson at the same time
checked him and paid him a handsome compliment, implying that a man of
his talents should be above attention to such distinctions,--"Nay, Sir,
never mind that. Nil te quaesiveris extra."'
'When Mr. Vesey was proposed as a member of The LITERARY CLUB, Mr.
Burke began by saying that he was a man of gentle manners. "Sir, (said
Johnson,) you need say no more. When you have said a man of gentle
manners; you have said enough."'
'The late Mr. Fitzherbert told Mr. Langton that Johnson said to him,
"Sir, a man has no more right to SAY an uncivil thing, than to ACT one;
no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down"'
'Richardson had little conversation, except about his own works, of
which Sir Joshua Reynolds said he was always willing to talk, and glad