Boswell's Life of Johnson
endured one of mine. When we were talking of a numerous company in
which he had distinguished himself highly, I said, 'Sir, you were a COD
surrounded by smelts. Is not this enough for you? at a time too when you
were not FISHING for a compliment?' He laughed at this with a complacent
approbation. Old Mr. Sheridan observed, upon my mentioning it to him,
'He liked your compliment so well, he was willing to take it with
PUN SAUCE.' For my own part, I think no innocent species of wit or
pleasantry should be suppressed; and that a good pun may be admitted
among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.
Mr. Burke uniformly shewed Johnson the greatest respect; and when Mr.
Townshend, now Lord Sydney, at a period when he was conspicuous in
opposition, threw out some reflection in parliament upon the grant of
a pension to a man of such political principles as Johnson; Mr. Burke,
though then of the same party with Mr. Townshend, stood warmly forth
in defence of his friend, to whom, he justly observed, the pension
was granted solely on account of his eminent literary merit. I am well
assured, that Mr. Townshend's attack upon Johnson was the occasion of
his 'hitching in a rhyme;' for, that in the original copy of Goldsmith's
character of Mr. Burke, in his Retaliation, another person's name stood
in the couplet where Mr. Townshend is now introduced:--
'Though fraught with all learning kept straining his throat,
To persuade Tommy Townshend to lend him a vote.'
It may be worth remarking, among the minutiae of my collection, that
Johnson was once drawn to serve in the militia, the Trained Bands of the
City of London, and that Mr. Rackstrow, of the Museum in Fleet-street,
was his Colonel. It may be believed he did not serve in person; but the
idea, with all its circumstances, is certainly laughable. He upon that
occasion provided himself with a musket, and with a sword and belt,
which I have seen hanging in his closet.
An authour of most anxious and restless vanity being mentioned, 'Sir,
(said he,) there is not a young sapling upon Parnassus more severely
blown about by every wind of criticism than that poor fellow.'
The difference, he observed, between a well-bred and an ill-bred man is
this: 'One immediately attracts your liking, the other your aversion.
You love the one till you find reason to hate him; you hate the other
till you find reason to love him.'
A foppish physician once reminded Johnson of his having been in
company with him on a former occasion; 'I do not remember it, Sir.' The
physician still insisted; adding that he that day wore so fine a coat
that it must have attracted his notice. 'Sir, (said Johnson,) had you
been dipt in Pactolus I should not have noticed you.'
He seemed to take a pleasure in speaking in his own style; for when he
had carelessly missed it, he would repeat the thought translated into
it. Talking of the Comedy of The Rehearsal, he said, 'It has not wit
enough to keep it sweet.' This was easy; he therefore caught himself,
and pronounced a more round sentence; 'It has not vitality enough to
preserve it from putrefaction.'
Though he had no taste for painting, he admired much the manner in which
Sir Joshua Reynolds treated of his art, in his Discourses to the Royal
Academy. He observed one day of a passage in them, 'I think I might as
well have said this myself:' and once when Mr. Langton was sitting
by him, he read one of them very eagerly, and expressed himself
thus:--'Very well, Master Reynolds; very well, indeed. But it will not
be understood.'
When I observed to him that Painting was so far inferiour to Poetry,
that the story or even emblem which it communicates must be previously
known, and mentioned as a natural and laughable instance of this, that
a little Miss on seeing a picture of Justice with the scales, had
exclaimed to me, 'See, there's a woman selling sweetmeats;' he said,
'Painting, Sir, can illustrate, but cannot inform.'
No man was more ready to make an apology when he had censured unjustly,
than Johnson. When a proof-sheet of one of his works was brought to him,
he found fault with the mode in which a part of it was arranged, refused
to read it, and in a passion desired that the compositor might be sent
to him. The compositor was Mr. Manning, a decent sensible man, who
had composed about one half of his Dictionary, when in Mr. Strahan's
printing-house; and a great part of his Lives of the Poets, when in
that of Mr. Nichols; and who (in his seventy-seventh year), when in Mr.
Baldwin's printing-house, composed a part of the first edition of this
work concerning him. By producing the manuscript, he at once satisfied
Dr. Johnson that he was not to blame. Upon which Johnson candidly
and earnestly said to him, 'Mr. Compositor, I ask your pardon. Mr.
Compositor, I ask your pardon, again and again.'
His generous humanity to the miserable was almost beyond example. The
following instance is well attested:--Coming home late one night, he
found a poor woman lying in the street, so much exhausted that she could
not walk; he took her upon his back, and carried her to his house, where
he discovered that she was one of those wretched females who had fallen
into the lowest state of vice, poverty, and disease. Instead of harshly
upbraiding her, he had her taken care of with all tenderness for a long
time, at considerable expence, till she was restored to health, and
endeavoured to put her into a virtuous way of living.
He once in his life was known to have uttered what is called a BULL:
Sir Joshua Reynolds, when they were riding together in Devonshire,
complained that he had a very bad horse, for that even when going down
hill he moved slowly step by step. 'Ay (said Johnson,) and when he goes
up hill, he STANDS STILL.'
He had a great aversion to gesticulating in company. He called once to a
gentleman who offended him in that point, 'Don't ATTITUDENISE.' And
when another gentleman thought he was giving additional force to what
he uttered, by expressive movements of his hands, Johnson fairly seized
them, and held them down.
Mr. Steevens, who passed many a social hour with him during their long
acquaintance, which commenced when they both lived in the Temple, has
preserved a good number of particulars concerning him, most of which
are to be found in the department of Apothegms, &c. in the Collection
of Johnson's Works. But he has been pleased to favour me with the
following, which are original:--
'Dr. Johnson once assumed a character in which perhaps even Mr. Boswell
never saw him. His curiosity having been excited by the praises bestowed
on the celebrated Torre's fireworks at Marybone-Gardens, he desired Mr.
Steevens to accompany him thither. The evening had proved showery; and
soon after the few people present were assembled, publick notice was
given, that the conductors to the wheels, suns, stars, &c., were
so thoroughly water-soaked, that it was impossible any part of the
exhibition should be made. "This is a mere excuse, (says the Doctor,)
to save their crackers for a more profitable company. Let us but hold up
our sticks, and threaten to break those coloured lamps that surround the
Orchestra, and we shall soon have our wishes gratified. The core of
the fireworks cannot be injured; let the different pieces be touched
in their respective centers, and they will do their offices as well as
ever." Some young men who overheard him, immediately began the violence
he had recommended, and an attempt was speedily made to fire some of
the wheels which appeared to have received the smallest damage; but to
little purpose were they lighted, for most of them completely failed.
The authour of The Rambler, however, may be considered, on this
occasion, as the ringleader of a successful riot, though not as a
skilful pyrotechnist.'
'It has been supposed that Dr. Johnson, so far as fashion was concerned,
was careless of his appearance in publick. But this is not altogether
true, as the following slight instance may show:--Goldsmith's last
Comedy was to be represented during some court-mourning: and Mr.
Steevens appointed to call on Dr. Johnson, and carry him to the tavern
where he was to dine with others of the Poet's friends. The Doctor was
ready dressed, but in coloured cloaths; yet being told that he would
find every one else in black, received the intelligence with a profusion
of thanks, hastened to change his attire, all the while repeating his
gratitude for the information that had saved him from an appearance so
improper in the front row of a front box. "I would not (added he,) for
ten pounds, have seemed so retrograde to any general observance."
'He would sometimes found his dislikes on very slender circumstances.
Happening one day to mention Mr. Flexman, a Dissenting Minister, with
some compliment to his exact memory in chronological matters; the Doctor
replied, "Let me hear no more of him, Sir. That is the fellow who made
the Index to my Ramblers, and set down the name of Milton thus: Milton,
MR. John."'
In the course of this work a numerous variety of names has been
mentioned, to which many might be added. I cannot omit Lord and Lady
Lucan, at whose house he often enjoyed all that an elegant table and the
best company can contribute to happiness; he found hospitality united
with extraordinary accomplishments, and embellished with charms of which
no man could be insensible.
On Tuesday, June 22, I dined with him at THE LITERARY CLUB, the last
time of his being in that respectable society. The other members present
were the Bishop of St. Asaph, Lord Eliot, Lord Palmerston, Dr. Fordyce,
and Mr. Malone. He looked ill; but had such a manly fortitude, that he
did not trouble the company with melancholy complaints. They all shewed
evident marks of kind concern about him, with which he was much pleased,
and he exerted himself to be as entertaining as his indisposition
allowed him.
The anxiety of his friends to preserve so estimable a life, as long as
human means might be supposed to have influence, made them plan for him
a retreat from the severity of a British winter, to the mild climate
of Italy. This scheme was at last brought to a serious resolution at
General Paoli's, where I had often talked of it. One essential matter,
however, I understood was necessary to be previously settled, which
was obtaining such an addition to his income, as would be sufficient to
enable him to defray the expence in a manner becoming the first literary
character of a great nation, and independent of all his other merits,
the Authour of THE DICTIONARY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. The person
to whom I above all others thought I should apply to negociate this
business, was the Lord Chancellor, because I knew that he highly valued
Johnson, and that Johnson highly valued his Lordship; so that it was no
degradation of my illustrious friend to solicit for him the favour of
such a man. I have mentioned what Johnson said of him to me when he was
at the bar; and after his Lordship was advanced to the seals, he said
of him, 'I would prepare myself for no man in England but Lord Thurlow.
When I am to meet with him I should wish to know a day before.' How he
would have prepared himself I cannot conjecture. Would he have selected
certain topicks, and considered them in every view so as to be in
readiness to argue them at all points? and what may we suppose those
topicks to have been? I once started the curious inquiry to the great
man who was the subject of this compliment: he smiled, but did not
pursue it.
I first consulted with Sir Joshua Reynolds, who perfectly coincided in
opinion with me; and I therefore, though personally very little known
to his Lordship, wrote to him, stating the case, and requesting his good