Candide
very beautiful moustachios. Is it for you to pique yourself upon
inviolable fidelity? You have been ravished by Bulgarians; a Jew and an
Inquisitor have enjoyed your favours. Misfortune gives sufficient
excuse. I own, that if I were in your place, I should have no scruple in
marrying the Governor and in making the fortune of Captain Candide."
While the old woman spoke with all the prudence which age and experience
gave, a small ship entered the port on board of which were an Alcalde
and his alguazils, and this was what had happened.
As the old woman had shrewdly guessed, it was a Grey Friar who stole
Cunegonde's money and jewels in the town of Badajos, when she and
Candide were escaping. The Friar wanted to sell some of the diamonds to
a jeweller; the jeweller knew them to be the Grand Inquisitor's. The
Friar before he was hanged confessed he had stolen them. He described
the persons, and the route they had taken. The flight of Cunegonde and
Candide was already known. They were traced to Cadiz. A vessel was
immediately sent in pursuit of them. The vessel was already in the port
of Buenos Ayres. The report spread that the Alcalde was going to land,
and that he was in pursuit of the murderers of my lord the Grand
Inquisitor. The prudent old woman saw at once what was to be done.
"You cannot run away," said she to Cunegonde, "and you have nothing to
fear, for it was not you that killed my lord; besides the Governor who
loves you will not suffer you to be ill-treated; therefore stay."
She then ran immediately to Candide.
"Fly," said she, "or in an hour you will be burnt."
There was not a moment to lose; but how could he part from Cunegonde,
and where could he flee for shelter?
XIV
HOW CANDIDE AND CACAMBO WERE RECEIVED BY THE JESUITS OF PARAGUAY.
Candide had brought such a valet with him from Cadiz, as one often meets
with on the coasts of Spain and in the American colonies. He was a
quarter Spaniard, born of a mongrel in Tucuman; he had been singing-boy,
sacristan, sailor, monk, pedlar, soldier, and lackey. His name was
Cacambo, and he loved his master, because his master was a very good
man. He quickly saddled the two Andalusian horses.
"Come, master, let us follow the old woman's advice; let us start, and
run without looking behind us."
Candide shed tears.
"Oh! my dear Cunegonde! must I leave you just at a time when the
Governor was going to sanction our nuptials? Cunegonde, brought to such
a distance what will become of you?"
"She will do as well as she can," said Cacambo; "the women are never at
a loss, God provides for them, let us run."
"Whither art thou carrying me? Where shall we go? What shall we do
without Cunegonde?" said Candide.
"By St. James of Compostella," said Cacambo, "you were going to fight
against the Jesuits; let us go to fight for them; I know the road well,
I'll conduct you to their kingdom, where they will be charmed to have a
captain that understands the Bulgarian exercise. You'll make a
prodigious fortune; if we cannot find our account in one world we shall
in another. It is a great pleasure to see and do new things."
"You have before been in Paraguay, then?" said Candide.
"Ay, sure," answered Cacambo, "I was servant in the College of the
Assumption, and am acquainted with the government of the good Fathers as
well as I am with the streets of Cadiz. It is an admirable government.
The kingdom is upwards of three hundred leagues in diameter, and divided
into thirty provinces; there the Fathers possess all, and the people
nothing; it is a masterpiece of reason and justice. For my part I see
nothing so divine as the Fathers who here make war upon the kings of
Spain and Portugal, and in Europe confess those kings; who here kill
Spaniards, and in Madrid send them to heaven; this delights me, let us
push forward. You are going to be the happiest of mortals. What pleasure
will it be to those Fathers to hear that a captain who knows the
Bulgarian exercise has come to them!"
As soon as they reached the first barrier, Cacambo told the advanced
guard that a captain wanted to speak with my lord the Commandant. Notice
was given to the main guard, and immediately a Paraguayan officer ran
and laid himself at the feet of the Commandant, to impart this news to
him. Candide and Cacambo were disarmed, and their two Andalusian horses
seized. The strangers were introduced between two files of musketeers;
the Commandant was at the further end, with the three-cornered cap on
his head, his gown tucked up, a sword by his side, and a spontoon[15] in
his hand. He beckoned, and straightway the new-comers were encompassed
by four-and-twenty soldiers. A sergeant told them they must wait, that
the Commandant could not speak to them, and that the reverend Father
Provincial does not suffer any Spaniard to open his mouth but in his
presence, or to stay above three hours in the province.
"And where is the reverend Father Provincial?" said Cacambo.
"He is upon the parade just after celebrating mass," answered the
sergeant, "and you cannot kiss his spurs till three hours hence."
"However," said Cacambo, "the captain is not a Spaniard, but a German,
he is ready to perish with hunger as well as myself; cannot we have
something for breakfast, while we wait for his reverence?"
The sergeant went immediately to acquaint the Commandant with what he
had heard.
"God be praised!" said the reverend Commandant, "since he is a German, I
may speak to him; take him to my arbour."
Candide was at once conducted to a beautiful summer-house, ornamented
with a very pretty colonnade of green and gold marble, and with
trellises, enclosing parraquets, humming-birds, fly-birds, guinea-hens,
and all other rare birds. An excellent breakfast was provided in vessels
of gold; and while the Paraguayans were eating maize out of wooden
dishes, in the open fields and exposed to the heat of the sun, the
reverend Father Commandant retired to his arbour.
He was a very handsome young man, with a full face, white skin but high
in colour; he had an arched eyebrow, a lively eye, red ears, vermilion
lips, a bold air, but such a boldness as neither belonged to a Spaniard
nor a Jesuit. They returned their arms to Candide and Cacambo, and also
the two Andalusian horses; to whom Cacambo gave some oats to eat just by
the arbour, having an eye upon them all the while for fear of a
surprise.
Candide first kissed the hem of the Commandant's robe, then they sat
down to table.
"You are, then, a German?" said the Jesuit to him in that language.
"Yes, reverend Father," answered Candide.
As they pronounced these words they looked at each other with great
amazement, and with such an emotion as they could not conceal.
"And from what part of Germany do you come?" said the Jesuit.
"I am from the dirty province of Westphalia," answered Candide; "I was
born in the Castle of Thunder-ten-Tronckh."
"Oh! Heavens! is it possible?" cried the Commandant.
"What a miracle!" cried Candide.
"Is it really you?" said the Commandant.
"It is not possible!" said Candide.
They drew back; they embraced; they shed rivulets of tears.
"What, is it you, reverend Father? You, the brother of the fair
Cunegonde! You, that was slain by the Bulgarians! You, the Baron's son!
You, a Jesuit in Paraguay! I must confess this is a strange world that
we live in. Oh, Pangloss! Pangloss! how glad you would be if you had not
been hanged!"
The Commandant sent away the negro slaves and the Paraguayans, who
served them with liquors in goblets of rock-crystal. He thanked God and
St. Ignatius a thousand times; he clasped Candide in his arms; and their
faces were all bathed with tears.
"You will be more surprised, more affected, and transported," said
Candide, "when I tell you that Cunegonde, your sister, whom you believe
to have been ripped open, is in perfect health."
"Where?"
"In your neighbourhood, with the Governor of Buenos Ayres; and I was
going to fight against you."
Every word which they uttered in this long conversation but added wonder
to wonder. Their souls fluttered on their tongues, listened in their
ears, and sparkled in their eyes. As they were Germans, they sat a good
while at table, waiting for the reverend Father Provincial, and the
Commandant spoke to his dear Candide as follows.
XV
HOW CANDIDE KILLED THE BROTHER OF HIS DEAR CUNEGONDE.
"I shall have ever present to my memory the dreadful day, on which I saw
my father and mother killed, and my sister ravished. When the Bulgarians
retired, my dear sister could not be found; but my mother, my father,
and myself, with two maid-servants and three little boys all of whom had
been slain, were put in a hearse, to be conveyed for interment to a
chapel belonging to the Jesuits, within two leagues of our family seat.
A Jesuit sprinkled us with some holy water; it was horribly salt; a few
drops of it fell into my eyes; the father perceived that my eyelids
stirred a little; he put his hand upon my heart and felt it beat. I
received assistance, and at the end of three weeks I recovered. You
know, my dear Candide, I was very pretty; but I grew much prettier, and
the reverend Father Didrie,[16] Superior of that House, conceived the
tenderest friendship for me; he gave me the habit of the order, some
years after I was sent to Rome. The Father-General needed new levies of
young German-Jesuits. The sovereigns of Paraguay admit as few Spanish
Jesuits as possible; they prefer those of other nations as being more
subordinate to their commands. I was judged fit by the reverend
Father-General to go and work in this vineyard. We set out--a Pole, a
Tyrolese, and myself. Upon my arrival I was honoured with a
sub-deaconship and a lieutenancy. I am to-day colonel and priest. We
shall give a warm reception to the King of Spain's troops; I will answer
for it that they shall be excommunicated and well beaten. Providence
sends you here to assist us. But is it, indeed, true that my dear sister
Cunegonde is in the neighbourhood, with the Governor of Buenos Ayres?"
Candide assured him on oath that nothing was more true, and their tears
began afresh.
The Baron could not refrain from embracing Candide; he called him his
brother, his saviour.
"Ah! perhaps," said he, "we shall together, my dear Candide, enter the
town as conquerors, and recover my sister Cunegonde."
"That is all I want," said Candide, "for I intended to marry her, and I
still hope to do so."
"You insolent!" replied the Baron, "would you have the impudence to
marry my sister who has seventy-two quarterings! I find thou hast the
most consummate effrontery to dare to mention so presumptuous a design!"
Candide, petrified at this speech, made answer:
"Reverend Father, all the quarterings in the world signify nothing; I
rescued your sister from the arms of a Jew and of an Inquisitor; she has
great obligations to me, she wishes to marry me; Master Pangloss always
told me that all men are equal, and certainly I will marry her."
"We shall see that, thou scoundrel!" said the Jesuit Baron de
Thunder-ten-Tronckh, and that instant struck him across the face with
the flat of his sword. Candide in an instant drew his rapier, and
plunged it up to the hilt in the Jesuit's belly; but in pulling it out
reeking hot, he burst into tears.
"Good God!" said he, "I have killed my old master, my friend, my
brother-in-law! I am the best-natured creature in the world, and yet I
have already killed three men, and of these three two were priests."
Cacambo, who stood sentry by the door of the arbour, ran to him.
"We have nothing more for it than to sell our lives as dearly as we
can," said his master to him, "without doubt some one will soon enter
the arbour, and we must die sword in hand."