Cole's Funny Picture Book No. 1
She grinned like a Monkey,
She hummed like a Bee,
She buzzed like a Fly,
She jumped like a Flea--Oh yes!
Our dear little daughter once went to a children's ball dressed as a
fairy. She was proud of being a fairy, and looked so nice that I put
together the above nursery doggerel to please her, and in honour of
the event, little thinking that she would soon leave this world. It
might be considered better by some to remove this page, but as
children like it I venture to let it stand with this explanation.
E. W. C.
Sacred to the Memory of our dear LITTLE RUBY, who departed this life
March 27th, 1890, aged 8 years. She was intelligent, industrious,
affectionate and sociable, and is deeply regretted by all who knew
her.
There is no flock, however watched and tended
But one dead lamb is there!
There is no fireside, howsoever defended
But has one vacant chair!
There is no death! what seems so is transition
This life of mortal breath,
Is but a suburb of life Elysian
Whose portal we call death.
She is not dead--the child of our affection--
But gone unto that school
Where she no longer needs our poor protection
And GOD himself doth rule.
[Page 29--Vally Cole And His Clever Dog]
Our Vally had a Clever Dog,
whose name was EBENEZER.
Sometimes this dog was very good,
At other times a TEASER.
One day they went to take a bath,
And both sat on a rail;
Our Vally hung his legs right down,
The dog hung down his tail.
This funny Dog one Christmas day,
Directly after dinner,
Just lean'd his sleepy head against
Old Tom, our snoozing sinner.
[Page 30--Boy's Stories]
Tommy Trot, a man of law,
Sold his bed and lay upon straw;
Sold the straw and slept on grass,
To buy his wife a looking-glass.
---
Little Jack Jingle,
He used to live single;
But when he got tired of this kind of life,
He left off being single, and lived with his wife.
---
I'll tell you a story
About Jack Nory,--
And now my story's begun:
I'll tell you another
About Jack his brother,--
And now my story's done.
---
Poor old Robinson Crusoe!
Poor old Robinson Crusoe!
They made him a coat
Of an old nanny-goat,
I wonder how they could do so!
With a ring and a ting tang,
And a ring and a ting tang,
Poor old Robinson Crusoe!
---
"John, come sell thy fiddle,
And buy thy wife a gown."
"No; I'll not sell my fiddle
For any wife in town."
---
Jacky, come give me thy fiddle
If ever thou mean'st to thrive;
Nay, I'll not give my fiddle
To any man alive.
If I should give my fiddle,
They'll think that I'm gone mad,
For many a joyful day
My fiddle and I have had.
---
Jack was a fisherman
Who went out one day,
But couldn't catch a single fish,
And so he came away.
And then he came home,
This angler so bold,
And found he'd caught something--
For he'd caught a cold.
---
The Queen of Hearts,
She made some tarts,
All on a summer day;
The Knave of Hearts
He stole those tarts
And took them clean away.
The King of Hearts
Called for the tarts,
And beat the knave full sore;
The Knave of Hearts
Brought back the tarts,
And vowed he'd steal no more.
---
Charley Wag
Ate the pudding and left the bag.
---
Tom, The Piper's Son
Tom, Tom, the piper's son,
Stole a pig and away did run!
The pig he eat, and Tom they beat,
And Tom went roaring down the street.
Tom, he was a piper's son:
He learned to play when he was young:
But all the tunes that he could play
Was, "Over the hills and far away;
Over the hills and a great way off,
And the wind will blow my topknot off."
Now Tom with his pipe made such a noise,
That he pleased both the girls and the boys,
And they stopped to hear him play
"Over the hills and far away."
Tom with his pipe did play with such skill,
That those who heard him could never keep still:
Whenever they heard they began for to dance,
Even the pigs on their hind legs would after him prance.
As Dolly was milking her cow one day,
Tom took out his pipe and began for to play;
So Doll and the cow danced "the Cheshire round,"
Till the pail they broke and the milk ran on the ground.
He met old Dame Trot with a basket of eggs,
He used his pipe and she used her legs;
She danced about till all the eggs she broke,
She began for to fret, but he laughed at the joke.
He saw a cross fellow beating an ass,
Heavily laden with pots, pans, dishes and glass;
He took out his pipe and played them a tune,
And the jackass did kick off his load very soon.
Tom met the parson on his way,
Took out his pipe, began to play
A merry tune that led his grace
Into a very muddy place.
The mayor then said he would not fail
To send poor Tommy off to gaol.
Tom took his pipe, began to play,
And all the court soon danced away.
'Twas quite a treat to see the rout,
How clerks and judges hopped about;
While Tommy still kept playing the tune,
"I'll be free this afternoon."
The Policeman Grab, who held him fast,
Began to dance about at last;
Whilst Tom, delighted at the fun,
Slipped out of court and off did run.
---
Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief,
Taffy came to my house, and stole a piece of beef.
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was not at home;
Taffy came to my house and stole a marrow-bone.
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was not in.
Taffy came to my house, and stole a silver pin.
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was in bed.
I took up a poker and flung it at his head.
---
Old King Cole
Was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he;
He called for his pipe,
And he called for his bowl,
And he called for his fiddlers three.
---
Peter White will ne'er go right;
Would you know the reason why?
He follows his nose where'er he goes,
And that stands all awry.
[Page 31--Boy Land]
The House That Jack Built
This is the house that Jack built.
This is the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the maiden all forlorn,
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the man all tattered and torn,
That kissed the maiden all forlorn,
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the priest all shaven and shorn,
That married the man all tattered and torn,
That kissed the maiden all forlorn,
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cock that crowed in the morn,
That awaked the priest all shaven and shorn,
That married the man all tattered and torn,
That kissed the maiden all forlorn,
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the farmer sowing his corn,
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn,
That awaked the priest all shaven and shorn,
That married the man all tattered and torn,
That kissed the maiden all forlorn,
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.
Simple Simon
Simple Simon met a pieman
Going to the fair;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman:
"Let me taste your ware."
Says the pieman to Simple Simon,
"Show me first the penny."
Says Simple Simon to the pieman:
"Indeed I have not any."
Simple Simon went a-fishing
For to catch a whale--
All the water he had got
Was in his mother's pail.
Simple Simon went to look
If plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much,
Which made poor Simon whistle.
He went to catch a dicky bird,
And thought he could not fail
Because he'd got a little salt
To put upon it's tail.
Then Simple Simon went-a-hunting,
For to catch a hare.
He rode on a goat about the street,
But could not find one there.
Simon made a great snowball,
And brought it in to roast;
He laid it down before the fire,
And soon the ball was lost.
Simple Simon went a-skating
When the ice was thin,
And Simon was astonished quite
To find he tumbled in.
And Simon he would honey eat
Out of the mustard pot;
He bit his tongue until he cried:
"That was all the good he got."
Ten Little Niggers
Ten little Niggers going out to dine,
One choked his little self, and then there were Nine.
Nine little Niggers crying at his fate,
One cried himself away, and then there were Eight.
Eight little Niggers to travelling were given.
But one kicked the bucket, and then there were Seven.
Seven little Niggers playing at their tricks,
One cut himself in halves, and then there were Six.
Six little Niggers playing with a hive,
A bumble bee killed one, and then there were Five.
Five little Niggers went in for law,
One got into Chancery, and then there were Four.
Four little Niggers going out to sea,
A ref herring swallowed one, and then there were Three.
Three little Niggers walking in the Zoo,
A big bear cuddled one, and then there were Two.
Two little Niggers sitting in the sun,
One got frizzled up, and then there was One.
One little Nigger living all alone,
He got married, and then there were None.
[Page 32--Boy Land]
Jack the Giant Killer
Once upon a time there lived in Cornwall, England, a lad whose name
was Jack, and who was very brave and knowing. At the same time there
was a great Giant, twenty feet high and nine feet round, who lived in
a cave, on an island near Jack's house. The Giant used to wade to the
mainland and steal things to live upon, carrying five or six bullocks
at once, and stringing sheep, pigs, and geese around his waist-band;
and all the people ran away from him in fear, whenever they saw him
coming.
Jack determined to destroy this Giant; so he got a pickaxe and
shovel, and started in his boat on a dark evening; by the morning he
had dug a pit deep and broad, then covering it with sticks and
strewing a little mould over, to make it look like plain ground, he
blew his horn so loudly that the Giant awoke, and came roaring
towards Jack, calling him a villain for disturbing his rest, and