Cole's Funny Picture Book No. 1
D was a drunkard, and had a red face;
E was an esquire, with pride on his brow;
F was a farmer, who followed the plough;
G was a gamer, who had but ill luck;
H was a hunter, and hunted a buck;
I was an innkeeper, who loved to bouse;
J was a joiner, and built up a house;
K was King William, once governed this land;
L was a lady, who had a white hand;
M was a miser, and hoarded up gold:
N was a nobleman, gallant and bold;
O was an oyster girl, and went about town;
P was a parson, and wore a black gown;
Q was a queen, who wore a silk slip;
R was a robber, and wanted a whip;
S was a sailor, and spent all he got;
T was a tinker, and mended a pot;
U was an usurer, a miserable elf;
V was a vintner, who drank all himself;
W was a watchman, and guarded the door;
X was expensive, and so became poor;
Y was a youth, that did not love school;
Z was a Zany, a poor harmless fool;
Sing a Song-a-Sixpence
Sing a song-a-sixpence,
A pocket full of rye;
Four-and-twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie;
When the pie was opened
The birds began to sing:
Was that not a dainty dish
To set before the king?
The king was in his counting-house,
Counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour,
Eating bread and honey;
The maid was in the garden,
Hanging out the clothes;
Down came a blackbird,
And snapt off her nose.
Old Chairs to Mend
If I'd as much money as I could spend,
I never would cry old chairs to mend;
Old chairs to mend, old chairs to mend;
I never would cry old chairs to mend.
If I'd as much money as I could tell,
I never would cry old clothes to sell;
Old clothes to sell, old clothes to sell;
I never would cry old clothes to sell.
Dad's gane to Ploo
Cock-a-doodle-doo,
My dad's gane to ploo;
Mammy's lost her pudding-poke
And knows not what to do.
Hot Cross Buns
Hot-cross buns! Hot-cross buns!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot-cross buns!
Hot-cross buns! Hot-cross buns!
If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons.
Rabbit Pie
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit-pie!
Come, my ladies, come and buy;
Else your babies they will cry.
A--Apple-Pie
A apple pie;
B bit it;
C cut it;
D danced for it;
E eat it;
F fought for it;
G got it;
H had it;
I ignored it;
J jumped for it;
K kept it;
L longed for it;
M mourned for it;
N nodded at it;
O opened it;
P peeped in it;
Q quartered it;
R ran for it;
S stole it;
T took it;
U uncovered it;
V viewed it;
W wanted it;
X ax'ed for it;
Y yawned for it:
Z cried, "Zounds! let's eat it up."
Three Men in a Tub
Rub a dub, dub,
Three men in a tub;
And who do you think they were?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker,
They all came out of a rotten potato.
Dinner
Hey ding a ding, what shall I sing?
How many holes in a skimmer?
Four-and-twenty, my stomach is empty;
Pray mamma, give me some dinner.
The Barber
Barber, barber, shave a pig,
How many hairs will make a wig?
"Four-and-twenty, that's enough,"
Give the barber a pinch of snuff.
Punch and Judy
Punch and Judy fought for a pie;
Punch gave Judy a blow on the eye.
Pease Pudding
Pease pudding hot,
Pease pudding cold,
Pease pudding in the pot,
Nine days old.
Porridge
A little bit of powdered beef,
And a great net of cabbage,
The best meal I have to-day
Is a good bowl of porridge.
Shaving
The barber shaved the mason,
As I suppose cut of his nose,
And popp'd it in a basin.
Captain Duck
I saw a ship a-sailing,
A-sailing on the sea;
And, oh! it was all laden
With pretty things for thee.
There were comfits in the cabin,
And apples in the holds;
The sails were made of silk,
And the masts were made of gold.
The four-and-twenty sailors
That stood between the decks,
Were four-and-twenty white mice,
With chains about their necks.
The captain was a duck,
With a packet on his back;
And when the ship began to move,
The captain said "Quack quack!"
Little Tee Wee
Little Tee Wee' he went to sea
In an open boat; and while afloat
The little boat bended,
And my story's ended.
[Page 9--Children's Rhymes]
Jack be Quick
Jack be nimble, and Jack be quick;
And Jack jump over the candle-stick.
Jack Sprat
Jack Sprat had a cat,
It had but one ear;
It went to buy butter
When butter was dear.
Jack Horner
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas Pie;
He put in his thumb, and he took out a plum,
And said, "What a good boy am I!"
Tom Tucker
Little Tom Tucker
Sings for his supper;
What shall he eat?
White bread and butter.
How shall he cut it
Without e'er a knife?
How will he be married
Without e'er a wife?
Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the girls came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away.
See-Saw
See-saw, Margery Daw,
Little Jacky shall have a new master;
Little Jacky shall have but a penny a day,
Because he can't work any faster.
Little Lad
Little lad, little lad, where wast thou born?
Far off in Lancashire, under a thorn,
Where they sup sour milk in a ram's horn.
Jack-a-Dandy
Handy Spandy, Jack-a-dandy,
Loved plum-cake and sugar-candy;
He bought some at a grocer's shop,
And out he came, hop, hop, hop.
My Son John
Deedle, deedle, dumpling, my son John
Went to bed with his stockings on;
One shoe off, the other shoe on.
Deedle, deedle, dumpling, my son John
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Who Can Draw Best
Willie drew a little pig,
Harry drew a mouse,
Tommy drew a ladder tall
Leaning on a house.
Baa, Baa Black Sheep
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, marry have I,
Three bags full:
One for my master,
And one for my dame,
But none for the little boy
Who cries in the lane.
Hey diddle diddle
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed to see such sport,
And the dish ran after the spoon.
The Quaker's Version
"Hey! diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped under the moon;
The little dog barked
to see such sport
And the cat ran after the spoon!" [*]
[*] Our friend, the Quaker, holds that the last verse is the proper
one, as it is the truest; but the wonderful is taken out of it, and
children, accordingly, prefer the first. There is nothing wonderful
in the cow jumping "under" the moon, but there is in the cow jumping
"over" the moon, so with the black-birds baked in a pie. It is the
fact of their singing when the pie is opened that pleases the
children--'twas the wonder of the thing; so with the freaks of
Mother Hubbard's Dog, etc. In nearly all nursery rhymes it is the
ludicrous and wonderful that arrests the attention and pleases.
E. W. Cole
Frightened Boy
There was a little boy, went into a barn,
And lay down on some hay;
An owl came out, and flew about,
And the little boy ran away.
Frightened Boys
Tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee
Resolved to have a battle,
For tweedle-dum said tweedle-dee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
Just then flew by a monstrous crow,
As big as a tar-barrel,
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.
Baked in a Pie
Baby and I
Were baked in a pie,
The gravy was wonderful hot;
We had nothing to pay
To the baker that day
And so we crept out of the pot.
Maid not at Home
High diddle doubt, my candle's out,
My little maid is not at home;
Saddle my hog, and bridle my dog,
And fetch my little maid home.
Dame not at Home
Rowsty dowt, my fire's all out,
My little dame is not at home;
I'll saddle my goose and bridle my hen,
And fetch my little dame home again;
Home she came, tritty trot;
And asked for the porridge she left in the pot.
All in the Dumps
We're all in the dumps,
For diamonds are trumps;
The kittens are gone to St. Paul's!
The babies are bit,
The moon's in a fit,
And the houses are built without walls.
Hot Rolls
Blow, wind, blow! and go, mill, go!
That the miller may grind his corn;
That the baker may take it,
And into rolls make it,
And send us some hot in the morn.
Rosemary green,
And lavender blue,
Thyme and sweet marjoram,
Hyssop and rue.
Bed Time
Come, let's to bed, says Sleepy-head
Tarry a while says Slow;
Put on the pot, says Greedy-Jock,
Let's sup before we go.
Go to Bed First
Go to bed first,
A golden purse;
Go to bed second,
A golden Pheasant;
Go to bed third,
A golden bird.
[Page 10--Girl Land]
Cry-Baby Belle
Cry-baby Belle
Is always in tears
Nothing you can give her can ease her!
Sugar and spice,
And everything nice,
Kisses and cakes will not please her.
She'll cry if she happens
To get a slight fall,
She'll cry if the naughty boys tease her;
She'll cry for a spoon,
And she'll cry for the moon;
So there's no use in trying to please her.
If the food set before her
Don't happen to suit--
Oh, then just as loud as she's able,
This cry-baby Belle
Will set up a yell,
And scare all the folks at the table.
If she wants to go out
In the street she will cry;
If she wants to come in how she screeches!
For nothing at all
She will set up and bawl,
Unmindful of comforting speeches,
She screams in the morning
Because she's not dress'd;
And at night when they want to undress her
More loudly she'll roar,
And roll over the floor
As if she had pains to distress her.
She cries when she's sick,
And she cries when she's well,
And often cries when she's sleeping,
So that heavy and red,
And most out of her head
Are her eyes, on account of such weeping.
She always is fretful,
Unhappy, and cross,
No matter what she may be doing,
And cry-baby Belle
Pleases nobody well
Because of her constant boo-hooing.
For a Naughty Little Girl
My sweet little girl should be careful and mild,
And should not be fretful, and cry!
Oh! why is this passion? remember, my child,
God sees you, who lives in the sky.
That dear little face, which I like so to kiss,
How frightful and sad it appears!
Do you think I can love you, so naughty as this,
Or kiss you so wetted with tears?
Remember, tho' God is in heaven, my love,
He sees you within and without,
And he always looks down from His glory above,
To notice what you are about.
If I am not with you, or if it be dark,
And nobody is in the way,
His eye is as able your doings to mark,
In the night as it is in the day.
Then dry up your tears, and look smiling again
And never do things that are wrong;
For I'm sure you must feel it a terrible pain,
To be naughty, and crying so long.
Paulina Pry
Paulina Pry
Would eat nothing but pie;
Pie was her daily diet;
Apple or plum,