Cole's Funny Picture Book No. 1
When Shall We Three Meet Again?
One donkey has met another donkey and now there are two donkeys, as
you see and you have to guess where the third donkey is: if you
cannot guess it, some kind friend will tell you.
There was a donkey on one side of a river and some hay on the
other side. The donkey wanted the hay, but he couldn't swim over
the river, jump over it, nor cross the bridge. How could he
manage it? Do you give up? Yes.
Answer--That is what the other donkey did.
REPEAT THIS WITH A FRIEND
1. I went up one pair of stairs; 2. Just like me.
1. I went up two pair of stairs; 2. Just like me.
1. I went into a room; 2. Just like me.
1. I looked out of a window; 2. Just like me.
1. And there I saw a donkey; 2. Just like me.
"Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascals ran a truly rural race."
Repeat this five times quickly without a mistake and see what it
will come to?
A room with eight corners had a cat in each corner seven cats before
each cat and a cat on every cat's tail. What was the total number of
cats?
Eight cats.
Speaking of persons who have educated themselves, I once knew a
person who educated himself, and guess how the fellow spelt "Cat."
You could not guess in a year?
Answer.--"Kat," No. "Catt," No. "Katt," No. Give it up? Yes. "Cat."
Why is a cow's tail like a swan's bosom?
Because it grows down.
When is a horse's head where it's tail should be?
When his tail is towards the manger.
What should a clergyman preach about?
About half-an-hour.
Although I've neither legs not feet,
I'm only useful when I go;
I have no tongue, but yet I tell
What hundreds want to know.
A watch.
My sides are firmly laced about,
Yet nothing have within;
You'll find my head is straight indeed,
'Tis nothing else but skin.
A drum.
REPEAT THIS WITH A FRIEND
1. I am a gold lock; 2. I am a gold key.
1. I am a silver lock; 2. I am a silver key.
1. I am a brass lock; 2. I am a brass key.
1. I am a lead lock; 2. I am a lead key.
1. I am a monk lock; 2. I am a monk key.
MIND YOUR PUNCTUATION
King Charles 1. spoke half-an-hour after his head was cut off.
Every lady in this land
Has twenty nails upon each hand
Five and twenty hands and feet
All this is true without deceit.
I saw a peacock with fiery tail
I saw a blazing comet drop down hail
I saw a cloud wrapped with ivy round
I saw an oak creep upon the ground
I saw a monkey swallow up a whale
I saw the sea brimful of ale
I saw an ale glass full fifteen feet deep
I saw a well full of men's tears that weep
I saw red eyes all of a flaming fire
I saw a house bigger than the moon and higher
I saw the sun at twelve o'clock at night
I saw the man that saw this wondrous sight.
The Husband's Petition
Come hither my heart's darling, come sit upon my knee
And listen while I whisper a boon I ask of thee.
I felt a bitter craving--a dark and deep desire
That glows beneath my bosom like coals of kindled fire.
Nay, dearest, do not doubt me, though madly this I speak--
I feel thine arms about me, thy tresses on my cheek;
I know the sweet devotion that links thy heart with mine--
I know my soul's emotion is doubly felt by thine.
And deem not that a shadow has fallen across my love;
No, sweet, my love is shadowless as yonder heaven above.
Oh, then, do not deny me my first and fond request,
I pray thee, by the memory of all we cherish best--
By that great vow that made thee my darling and my bride;
Thou wilt not fail nor falter, but bend thee to the task.
_Put buttons on my shirt love--that's all the boon I ask!_
Literary Advertisement
To the inhabitants of the World! Will be published shortly by E. W.
COLE, if he can see his way clear, a volume containing all that has
ever been written, said, or thought by mankind. Price 1s.
Also, a second volume, containing all that has NOT been written,
said, or thought by mankind. Price 1s.
If the work can be successfully be brought out it will be a VERY,
VERY, instructive one, and place E. W. COLE at the head of the
literary world.
To secure a copy of this valuable work Orders should be sent without
delay, to COLE'S Book Arcade, Melbourne; or, to the Branch
Establishments, at Sydney or Adelaide.
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Ten Picture Puzzles
He or She is Clever Who Discovers Nine of them,
[Page 129--Ten Picture Puzzles]
Ten Picture Puzzles
and Exceedingly Clever Who Finds Out the Whole Ten.
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B one day drove a flock of geese,
And met with Farmer A:
Says Farmer A, "How much a piece
For this flock did you pay?"
Says B, "I paid for all I drive
Just six pounds and a crown;
And I'm going to sell them, all but five,
At yonder market town;
When fifteen pence a head I'll charge
Above what they cost me,
And thus obtain a sum as large
As I gave for all you see."
How many geese did B buy? How much did he give for each? and What
price did he ask?
He bought 25 geese at 5s each, and meant to ask 6s 3d each.
Oft sought in the country, much prized in the town?
Like a king, above all, I can boast of a crown;
If not found in the palace, I grace the chateau;
Both the peer and the peasant my usefulness know.
When I've not seen six months I am said to be old;
Though exalted by nobles, I'm bought and I'm sold.
Though ne'er in a sermon, I take part in all chat;
Yet I'm ne'er found in this, but I'm always in that.
I'm seen in most colours, am brown, black, or white,
But am rarely found red and, when good, I am light;
In demand with both sexes, selected with care,
I'm prized by most men and add grace to the fair.
Of no use to my owner when kept in his sight,
I attend him by day, and oft serve him by night;
As his slave I am passive; yet, strange it may sound,
To keep me in order, I'm frequently bound.
My fetters are silken; I'm useless at home,
Though a constant companion whenever you roam;
And, though no enchantment within me doth dwell,
Pray tell me my name--for in that lies a spell!
A Hat.
'Twas born in anguish, 'twas cradled by care,
And has lived ever since in the depths of despair.
It dwells in the valley, it glides on the wave,
It is laid with our ashes when cold in the grave.
In darkness it brightens, in sunshine it dies,
As far from the smile of enjoyment it flies.
In the rainbow it sits, in the stars it has birth,
And with angels descending it visits the earth.
With Adam it dwelt, and so to Paradise came,
But eve knew it not, though it shared in her shame.
It mingles in battle, yet still it loves peace.
It joins in the banquet, the dance, and the chase
From the dream of our childhood it ne'er can depart
And it lies, like a gem, in the core of the heart.
The traveller bears it o'er desert along;
The nightingale loves it, though strange to her song.
On the point of an arrow it cleaves through the air
Yet the pinions of birds cannot follow it there.
The bosom disowns it, yet bright through our tears,
When shed in affection, it ever appears.
The cataract fearfully hurries it on,
But, search it through billows and tempest--'tis gone.
From the joys of our mortal existence 'tis driven;
Yet finds an unchanging asylum in heaven.
With the harp of the minstrel it ever shall dwell
And it comes to my lips as I utter "Farewell".
The Letter A.
Though grief gives me birth, I'm a stranger to care.
I scorn the dull earth, and float in the air.
No lover claims me, though I revel in bliss.
I taste of each lip, and melt in each kiss.
I'm an egotist's pride, though in silence I reign;
And, through free from sorrow, I'm always in pain.
Though in laughter ne'er seen, in mirth I delight;
In blindness I grope, though perfect in sight.
In foolishness, Wisdom, and wit I've a place;
Though dwelling in virtue I live in disgrace.
Though frost knows me not, with winter I blend;
And always to ice I'm a capital friend.
I'm never in heat, though I live in the fire.
Though never in want, I'm in every desire.
I am I--, but the end of my paper I spy;
So I'll wind up my stave and wish you good-by.
The Letter I.
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Australian Picture Puzzle
[Cole]'s [Book] [Arcade], [Coals] [Book] [Arcade]. It is [Inn]
[Melbourne] town,
of [Awl] the [Book] [Arcades] [Inn] this [Land] it has the
m[Hostel(?)] renown,
It was the [Fir]st, first [Book] [Arcade] t[Hat] [Inn] the [World]
was found;
It's [Still] the f[Eye][Nest] [Book] [Arcade] [Inn] [Awl] the
[World] around.
A lovely [Rainbow] s[Eye]gn ap[Ear]s above the [Book] [Arcade],
And 'tis the very g[Ran]dest s[Eye]gn wa[Sever] yet dis[Play]ed.
A [Mill]ion, yes! a [Mill]ion [Books] are [House]d with[Inn] its
w[Awl]s
Which [Can] [Bee] [Sea]n, looked at or [Bough]t by anyone t[Hat]
c[Awls]
The [Book] [U] wish, the [Book] [U] w[Ant] is [Awl]most sure to
[Bee]
Found [Sum]where [Inn] the [Book] [Arcade] if [U] will c[Awl] &
[C].
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