Cole's Funny Picture Book No. 1
One morning was sweeping
Her little bedroom,
When, casting he little
Grey eyes on the ground,
In a sly little corner
A penny she found.
"Dear me!" cried the Dame,
While she started with surprise,
"How lucky I am
To find such a prize!
To market I'll go,
And a pig I will buy,
And little John Grubbins
Shall make him a sty."
So she washed her face clean,
And put on her gown,
And locked up the house,
And set off for town.
Then to market she went,
And a purchase she made
Of a little white pig,
And a penny she paid.
Having purchased the pig,
She was puzzled to know
How they both should get home;
So fearing least piggie
Should play her a trick,
She drove him along
With a little crab stick.
Piggie ran till they came
To the foot of a hill,
Where a little bridge stood
O'er the stream of a mill;
Piggie grunted and squeaked,
But not further would go:
Oh, fie! Piggie, fie!
To serve little Dame so.
She went to the mill,
And she borrowed a sack
To put the pig in,
And take him on her back:
Piggie squeaked to get out,
But the little Dame said,
"If you won't go of yourself,
You then must be made."
At last when the end
Of her journey had come,
She was awfully glad
She had got the pig home:
She carried him straight
To his nice little sty,
And gave him some hay
And some straw, nice and dry.
With a handful of peas
Then Piggie she fed,
And put on her night-cap,
And got into bed:
Having first said her prayers,
And put out the light;
And being quite tired,
We'll wish her good night.
The Chinese Pig
Old Madam Grumph, the pig, had got
A pig-sty of her own;
She is a most un-com-mon pig,
And likes to live alone.
A red-tiled roofing covers in
The one half of her sty;
And, half sur-round-ed by a wall,
Is open to the sky.
There stands the trough, they keep it fill'd
With pig-wash and with parings;
And all the other pigs declare
Dame Grumph has dainty fairings.
They like to see what she's about,
And poke their noses through
A great hole in the pig-sty door,
From whence they get a view.
The pigs, that run about the yard,
Are very lean and tall,
With long hind legs--but Madam Grumph
Is round as any ball.
One autumn day, when she awoke
('Twas very cold and raw),
She found a litter of young pigs
Half buried in the straw.
"Humph," said the dame, "now let me see
How many have I got."
She counted, "Six and four are ten,--
Two dead ones in the lot.
"Eight--That's a nice round family;
A black one and two white;
The rest are spotted like myself,
With prick ears--that's all right.
"What's to be done with those dead things,
They'd better be thrown out,"
Said she, and packed the litter round
The others with her snout.
"What's that, old Grumphy?" said a pig,
Whose snout peeped through the door;
"There's something moving in the straw
I never saw before."
"I wish you'd mind your own affairs,"
Said she, and stepp'd between
The young pigs and the pig-sty door,
Not wishing to be seen.
"I hope you slept well," said the pig,
"The wind was very high;
You are most comfortably lodged--
A most con-ve-ni-ent sty."
"I thought I told you once before
To mind your own affairs,"
Said she, and bristling up her back,
She bit the lean pig's ears.
"Squeak," said the bitten pig, "sque-e-ak,
Old Grumphy's biting hard;"
And all the lean pigs scamp-ed'd up
From all sides of the yard.
They grumbled and they grunted loud,
The squeak'd in every key;
At last another pig peep'd through,
To see what he could see.
Dame Grumph was standing by her pigs,
And looking very proud,
And all the little piggy-wigs
Were squeaking very loud.
"These lovely creatures," said old Grumph,
"These lovely pigs are mine;
There're fat and pink like human babes,
Most pro-mi-sing young swine."
"Indeed," ex-claim'd the peeping pig,
"I never should have thought,
They were so very promising."
Old Grumphy gave a snort.
"They're of a most dis-tin-guished race;
My mother and her brother
Were both im-por-ted from Pekin,--
My pigs are like my mother.
"They never shall as-so-ci-ate
With long-legged pigs like you."
Said she, ad-dress-ing the lean pig,
Whose snout was peeping through.
"Begging your pardon, ma'am
I really think," said he,
"The dif-fer-ence is not so great
As it appears to be.
"If you and I were bacon, ma'am
The dif-fer-ence between
An Irish and a Chinese pig
Would hardly then be seen.
"Give me your comfortable sty,
And some of your nice food,
Our little fa-mi-lies might prove
In-dif-fer-ent-ly good."
Aunt Effie's Rhymes
[Page 177--Piggy Land]
The Old Woman and Her Pig
Once an old woman was sweeping her house, and found a crooked
sixpence, and went to market to buy a pig. As she was coming home she
came to a stile, and the pig would not get over it: so she went a
little farther and met a dog, and said to the dog:--
"Dog, dog, bite pig;
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the dog would not.
She went a little farther and met a stick, and said:
"Stick, stick, beat dog; dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the stick would not.
She went a little farther and met a fire, and said:
"Fire, fire, burn stick; stick won't beat dog,
Dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the fire would not.
She went a little farther and met some water, and said:
"Water, water, quench fire,
Fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the water would not.
She went a little farther and met an ox, and said:
"Ox, ox, drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the ox would not.
She went a little farther and met a butcher, and said:
"Butcher, butcher, kill ox,
Ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the butcher would not.
She went a little farther and met a rope, and said:
"Rope, rope, hang butcher.
Butcher won't kill ox, ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the butcher would not.
She went a little farther and met a rat, and said:
"Rat, rat, gnaw rope;
Rope won't hang butcher,
Butcher won't kill ox, ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the rat would not.
She went a little farther and met a cat, and said:
"Cat, cat, kill rat; rat won't gnaw rope,
Rope won't hang butcher,
Butcher won't kill ox, ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the cat said to her, "If you will go to yonder cow, and fetch me
a saucer of milk, I will kill the rat." So away went the old woman to
the cow, and said:
"Cow, cow, give me some milk, cat won't kill rat,
Rat won't gnaw rope, rope won't hang butcher,
Butcher won't kill ox, ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the cow said to her, "If you will go to yonder haymakers and
fetch me a wisp of hay, I'll give you the milk."
So away the old woman went to the haymakers and said:
"Haymakers, give me a wisp of hay;
Cow won't give me milk, cat won't kill rat,
Rat won't gnaw rope, rope won't hang butcher,
Butcher won't kill ox, ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite pig,
Piggy won't get over the stile,
And I shan't get home to-night."
But the haymakers said to her, "If you will go and fetch us a
bucket of water, we'll give you the hay." So away the old woman
went; but she found the bucket was full of holes. So she covered
the bottom with pebbles, and then filled the bucket with water,
and away she went back with it to the haymakers; and they gave her
a wisp of hay.
As soon as the cow had eaten the hay, she gave the old woman the
milk; and away she went with it in a saucer to the cat. As soon as
the cat had drank the milk, the cat began to kill the rat, the rat
began to gnaw the rope, the rope began to hang the butcher, the
butcher began to kill the ox, the ox began to drink the water, the
water began to quench the fire, the fire began to burn the stick,
the stick began to beat the dog, the dog began to bite to pig, the
pig in a great fright jumped over the stile, and so the old woman
got home that night in time to boil some apple dumplings for her
husband's supper.
The Flying Pig
Dickery, dickery dare,
The pig flew up in the air,
But Patrick Brown soon brought him down,
Dickery, dickery, dare.
The Story of the Three Little Pigs
Once there was an old pig, who had three little pigs, and sent them
out to seek their fortune. The first one went and built a house with
straw, and soon after a wolf came and knocked at the door and said,
"Little pig, let me come in." But the little pig said, "No, no by the
hair of my chin." The wolf then said, "I'll huff, and I'll puff, and
I'll blow your house in." So he huffed, and he puffed, and blew the
house in, and ate up the little pig.
The next little pig built a house with sticks, and the old wolf came
along and called out, "Little pig, let me come in." And the little
pig answered, "No, no, by the hair of my chin." "Then," says the
wolf, "I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in." So he
huffed and he puffed, and blew the house down, and ate up the little
pig also.
The third little pig built a house with bricks. Just after along came
the old wolf, and said, "Little pig, let me come in." The little pig
said, "No, no, by the hair of my chin." "Then I'll huff and I'll
puff, and I'll blow your house down." Well, he huffed and he puffed,
and he huffed and he puffed, and he puffed and he huffed; but he
could not get the house down.
When he found he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow
the house down, he said "Little pig, I know where there is a nice
field of turnips." "Where?" said the little pig. "Oh, in Mr. Smith's
home field, and if you will be ready to-morrow morning I will call
for you, and we will go together, and get some for dinner."
"Very well," said the little pig, "I will be ready. What time do you
mean to go?" "Oh, at six o'clock." Well, the little pig got up at
five, and got the turnips before the wolf came, which he did about
six, and said, "Little pig, are you ready?" The little pig said,
"Ready; I've been and come back again and got a nice potful for