About this book

Cole's Funny Picture Book No. 1

E. W. Cole

powders, and 130 bottles of Mother Winslow's Soothing Syrup--but I was still irritable and nervous. My last course of medicine consisted of Steel Drops, Balm of Gilead, Turpentine, Chloroform, Cod Liver Oil, Assafoetida, Spanish Flies, and Cayenne Pepper--about fifteen pounds of each--but it all did me no good. I simply got worse and worse, and was reduced to a mere shadow of skin and bone, but, as luck would have it, another friend came along--a true friend this time--and suggested Cole's FUN DOCTOR. I got it, and was well and stout in a Week, at a cost of 1s 6d. Sworn at Temple Court, and Signed in Everlasting Gratitude, Government House, Melbourne JOHN SMITH
Illustration note[Illustration: Bachelor, Before and After.]
[Page 193--Comic Advertiser]
Illustration note[Illustration: Vocal Solo.]
A man on a train was heard to groan so frightfully that the passengers took pity on him, and one of them gave him a drink out of a whisky flask. "Do you feel better?" asked the giver. "I do," said he who had groaned. "What ailed you anyway?" "Ailed me?" "Yes; what made you groan so?" "Groan! Great Land o'Goshen! I was singing!" The generous man will never quite cease to regret the loss of that drink of whisky.
Illustration note[Illustration: Instrumental Solo.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Trio.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Duet.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Quartette.]
Cole's Book Arcade. Cole's Book Arcade, it is in Melbourne town, Of all the book stores in this land, it has the most renown.
Illustration note[Illustration: Full Band and Choir.]
TUNE: All the Tunes there are mixed. [Page 194--Comic Advertiser] Going To Cole's Book Arcade, Melbourne
Illustration note[Illustration: Persian Cat on a Penny-Farthing Bicycle.]
All the way from Persia on this bicycle.
Illustration note[Illustration: Children in a Boat.]
Why are these two nice children like thousands of knowledge-loving individuals? Because they frequently visit Cole's Book Arcade.
Illustration note[Illustration: Boy on a Bicycle.]
Guess where this young gentleman is going? To Cole's book arcade. Right. You're a Witch. [Page 195--Comic Advertiser]
Illustration note[Illustration: Frogs going to Cole's Book Arcade.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Long-Legged Man Jumping Over a Cat.]
[Page 196--Wonderful Sea Serpent] The Sea-Serpent as a Carrier The world-renowned sea-serpent has been specially chartered to bring a fresh supply of books every week from England to Cole's Book Arcade, Melbourne; and also to show upon the coils of his body 2000 rainbows, being so many copies of that establishment. The sea-serpent, upon being communicated with, demanded a heavy price for his services, but Mr. Cole agreed to his terms, as he considered that 2000 of his rainbow signs travelling round the world on the sides of the famous sea-serpent would be a good advertisement for the Book Arcade.
Illustration note[Illustration: The Sea-Serpent carrying a load of books.]
True History of the Great Sea Serpent John Smith, the sea-serpent, was born in a swamp near Sydney, about 5000 years ago. He was hatched by a female Bunyip from an immense three cornered egg, which is supposed to have fallen out of the moon, and he is the only sea-serpent that ever existed. He never had relations, and is the only being in the world of whom the verse is true. He never had a father. He never had a mother. He never had a sister. He never had a brother. He also never had a wife. He is of a very shy disposition, and many fascinating mermaids have made love to him, and practiced all their well-known wiles upon him--but in vain: he is a bachelor still. Like some other animals mentioned in history, he thinks and talks like a man. He is exceedingly intelligent, and seems to have as much sense as 20,000 ordinary men or 21,000 women. He can sing with a voice of tremendous compass, from the sweet piping of a nightingale down to far below the deepest tones of the largest organ, or the noise made by discharges of artillery. Sometimes when he sings it shakes the ground for miles around, and if at sea causes a storm. His favourite songs are "A Life on the Ocean Wave," "What are the Wild Waves Saying," "Down by the Deep Sad Sea," and such like. He plays all the musical instruments in the world. His whistle can be heard a distance of 100 miles, his shout 50 miles, and his whisper 10 miles. Of course, in an active life of 5000 years, a life almost as long as some Hindoo patriarchs, he has seen and heard, and done, many astonishing things. He relates that he once rescued a travelling menagerie at sea, he swallowed the whole lot of animals, and the woman in charge of them, let them roam about inside of him and enjoy themselves, and then landed them safely on dry land at the end of 48 hours. He says that he was in Arabia, and saw that remarkable occurrence of the moon coming down and going into Mahomet's sleeves, and there and then he objected to the whole proceeding. The sea-serpent is 15 miles long and 50 feet in diameter, his skin is of a horny nature, but harder than steel, and about 5 feet thick. He travels at the rate of 200 miles per hour, and can carry 120 times as much as the "Great Eastern." If he was coming up to the Queen's Wharf, Melbourne, when his head was at the wharf, his body would reach right down the River Yarra out in the Bay past Williamstown, and the Traffic would have to be stopped in the river whilst he was unloading. The sea-serpent is rather a large eater. Since he reached full growth, namely, for the last 4000 years, he has swallowed a whole whale every morning for breakfast except once. The reason of his going without his breakfast that once is explained in the following manner:-- The reader will remember the account of Jonah and the Whale in the Talmud. It states that when Jonah was in the whale's belly, it went out of the Mediterranean right around Africa into the Red Sea, and that Jonah looked out through the eyes of the whale and saw the place where the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea. The sea-serpent states that he can corroborate this piece of history, as he happened to be after that very whale for breakfast when he saw Jonah looking out through its eyes. He says he did not swallow that whale, as he had found that the whales which he had previously swallowed with prophets inside of them did not agree with him, and consequently he had to go that morning without his breakfast, the first time in 4000 years. Those who want any further information about the famous sea-serpent can acquire it at Cole's Book Arcade, Melbourne, or come and interview and question the sea-serpent himself when he arrives. P.S.--Some people don't believe in the existence of the sea-serpent, but if he did not exist how could we have got his likeness and his history? That's a question for the unbelievers to answer. [Page 197--Funny and Foolish Dress Land]
Illustration note[Illustration: Servant Girl.]
A Servant Girl dressed in four absurdities of fashion--a Tight Corset, Tight High-heeled Boots, a Bustle Improver, and Fifteen-button Gloves. She appears very conceited, but with her tight-lacing must feel very uncomfortable and unwell, and wall sensible people must feel that she is very silly, and with her absurd boots her feet must pain her almost as much as the Chinese woman's shown above [right] pained her when first compressed.
Illustration note[Illustration: Various Fashions.]
European Woman with her Waist Fashionably Tightened to 15 inches. Chinese Woman with her Feet Fashionably Compressed to 3 inches. Long-Nailed Fashion of an Annamese Noble, and a Marquesian Chief. Chinese Ladies' Fashionable Pinched Feet and Shoes, shewing also deplorable foolishness in China.
Illustration note[Illustration: Various Shoes.]
Old English Fashions, showing our ancestors were as foolish as we are.
Illustration note[Illustration: Ancient Greek Youth.]
Costume of an Ancient Greek Youth, very easy, elegant and suitable for a Lady's Reform Dress. This is a much more sensible dress than the one opposite it [servant girl] and the two below it--look at them.
Illustration note[Illustration: Lady in Crinoline at narrow Pedestrian gap in Fence.]
Crinoline, 1859. The Dog has got through all right, but how will the lady manage.
Illustration note[Illustration: Three Ladies in Crinoline and a Coach.]
Crinoline, 1859. Coach licensed to carry four. The coachman and the horse are both wondering how it can be done. [Page 198--Funny and Foolish Dress Land]
Illustration note[Illustration: Persian Lady in Out-door Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: French Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Costume, beginning of the 19th century.]
Illustration note[Illustration: A German Crinoline Frame.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Indians of the Rio Colorado.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Roumanian Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: An English and French Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: A North American Indian Maiden.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Reformed American Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: The Gorget Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Turkish Out-door Costume.]
[Page 199--Funny, Foolish, and Useful Fashions]
Illustration note[Illustration: Ancient English Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: British Lady and Chinese Ambassador's Wife and Daughter.]
A British Lady and the Chinese Ambassador's Wife and Daughter at the Queen's First Drawing Room, Buckingham Palace, 1893. The Chinese ladies are dressed more rationally, but the have such fashionably small feet that they have to lean against the table to enable them to stand with safety. The European lady and the Asiatic ladies are each alike martyrs to foolish fashion, one with the waist and the other with the feet.
Illustration note[Illustration: Old Alsatian Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Bad kind of dress to run, and jump, and play in.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Too much material in the train and too little on the shoulders.]
"Mother, do put on a shawl, please, before you go down." "Why, Sonnie?" "Oh, because some one's is sure to see you if you go down like that!" [Page 200--Useful Fashions]
Illustration note[Illustration: Physical Exercise Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Jewess of Tunis.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Reform Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: A Reform Dress for Travelling.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Bloomer Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: An Afghan Lady.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Syrian Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Mountain Climbing Costume.]
[Page 201--Funny, Foolish, and Useful Fashions]
Illustration note[Illustration: Maharajah of Jodhpore.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Japanese Court Dress.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Chinese laborer.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Gentleman.]
Illustration note[Illustration: King Munza.]
Illustration note[Illustration: An Ancient Fop.]
Ashamed to show his face. A few frivolous fops and other foolish men still wear corsets.
Illustration note[Illustration: English Costume.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Canadian Indian.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Zulu Kaffir.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Kaffir.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Mandan Chief.]
Illustration note[Illustration: A gentleman.]
[Page 202--Boy Smoking]
Illustration note[Illustration: Boy's First smoke.]
Boy's First Smoke. Enjoying the Tobacco Poison.
Illustration note[Illustration: Shortly Afterwards.]
Shortly Afterwards. Suffering from the Tobacco Poison.
Illustration note[Illustration: A Youth stunted, wasted and wasting by Cigarette Smoking.]
Illustration note[Illustration: Twin Brothers.]
Twin Brothers. Brother who Smoked, thereby destroying his Vital Organs, his Good Looks, and Stunting his Body. Brother who Didn't Smoke, and therefore grew Good-Looking, Big, Healthy and Strong. Multitudes of Employers, both in England and America, will not employ Boy Smokers, and publicly announce the same.
Illustration note[Illustration: Boy Smokers Seeking Employment.]
[From the "Social Gazette," also from the "Australian War Cry."] The following statements show some of the large establishments that are closed against cigarette smokers in America:-- "Swift & Co. (Packing House, Chicago), and other Chicago business