Daisy
doing the work He has given me to do. I cannot go."
"I came down here on purpose to persuade you," he said.
It was not necessary to answer that, otherwise than by a look.
"And you are unpersuadable," he said; "unmanageable, of course, by me;
strong as a giant, and gentle as a snowflake. But the snowflake melts;
and you--you will go up to the hotel as good a crystal as when you
came down."
This made me laugh, and we had a good laugh together, holding each
other's hand.
"Do you know," said he, "I must go? There is a roll of a summons that
reaches my ear, and I must be at the top of the bank in one minute and
a quarter. I had no leave to be here."
"Hadn't you?" I said. "Oh, then, go, go directly, Mr. Thorold!"
But I could not immediately release my hand, and holding it and
looking at me, Thorold laughed again; his hazel eyes sparkling and
dancing and varying with what feelings I could not tell. They looked
very steadily, too, till I remember mine went down, and then, lifting
his cap, he turned suddenly and sprang away. I sat down to get breath
and think.
I had come to my place rather sober and sorrowful; and what a
pleasant morning I had had! I did not mind at all, now, my not going
to the dances. I had explained myself to Mr. Thorold, and we were not
any further apart for it, and I had had a chance to speak to him about
other things too. And though he did not understand me, perhaps he
would some day. The warning gong sounded before I had well got to my
Bible reading. My Bible reading was very pleasant this morning, and I
could not be baulked of it; so I spent over it near the whole half
hour that remained, and rushed up to the hotel in the last five
minutes. Of course, I was rather late and quite out of breath; and
having no voice and being a little excited, I suppose was the reason
that I curtseyed to Dr. Sandford, whom I met at the head of the piazza
steps. He looked at me like a man taken aback.
"Daisy!" he exclaimed.
"Yes, sir," I answered.
"Where have you come from?"
"From my study," I said. "I have a nice place down by the river which
is my study."
"Rather a public situation for a private withdrawing place," said the
doctor.
"Oh no!" said I. "At this hour--" But there I stopped and began again.
"It is really very private. And it is the pleasantest study place I
think I ever had."
"To study what?"
I held up my book.
"It agrees with you," said the doctor.
"What?" said I, laughing.
"Daisy!" said Dr. Sandford--"I left a quiet bud of a flower a few days
ago--a little demure bit of a schoolgirl, learning geology; and I
have got a young princess here, a full rose, prickles and all, I don't
doubt. What has Mrs. Sandford done with you?"
"I do not know," said I, thinking I had better be demure again. "She
took me to the hop."
"The hop?--how did you like that?"
"I liked it very much."
"You did? You liked it? I did not know that you would go, with your
peculiar notions."
"I went," I said; "I did not know what it was. How could I help liking
it? But I am not going again."
"Why not, if you like it?"
"I am not going again," I repeated. "Shall we have a walk to the hills
to-day, Dr. Sandford?"
"Grant!" said his sister-in-law's voice, "don't you mean the child
shall have any breakfast? What made you so late, Daisy? Come in, and
talk afterwards. Grant is uneasy if he can't see at least your shadow
all the while."
We went in to breakfast, and I took a delightful walk with Dr.
Sandford afterward, back in the ravines of the hills; but I had got an
odd little impression of two things. First, that he, like Preston, was
glad to have me give up going to the hops. I was sure of it from his
air and tone of voice, and it puzzled me; for he could not possibly
have Preston's dislike of Northerners, nor be unwilling that I should
know them. The other thing was, that he would not like my seeing Mr.
Thorold. I don't know how I knew it, but I knew it. I thought--it was
very odd--but I thought he was _jealous_; or rather, I felt he would
be if he had any knowledge of our friendship for each other. So I
resolved he should have no such knowledge.
Our life went on now as it had done at our first coming. Every day Dr.
Sandford and I went to the woods and hills, on a regular naturalist's
expedition; and nothing is so pleasant as such expeditions. At home, we
were busy with microscopic examinations, preparations, and studies;
delightful studies, and beautiful lessons, in which the doctor was the
finest of instructors, as I have said, and I was at least the happiest of
scholars. Mrs. Sandford fumed a little, and Mr. Sandford laughed; but
that did no harm. Everybody went to the hops, except the doctor and me;
and every morning and evening, at guardmounting and parade, I was on the
ground behind the guard tents to watch the things done and listen to the
music and enjoy all the various beauty. Sometimes I had a glimpse of
Thorold; for many both of cadets and officers used to come and speak to
me and rally me on my seclusion, and endeavour to tempt me out of it.
Thorold did not that; he only looked at me, as if I were something to be
a little wondered at but wholly approved of. It was not a disagreeable
look to meet.
"I must have it out with you," he said one evening, when he had just a
minute to speak to me. "There is a whole world of things I don't
understand, and want to talk about. Let us go Saturday afternoon and
take a long walk up to 'Number Four'--do you like hills?"
"Yes."
"Then let us go up there Saturday--will you?"
And when Saturday came, we went. Preston luckily was not there; and
Dr. Sandford, also luckily, was gone to dine at the General's with his
brother. There were no more shadows on earth than there were clouds in
the sky, as we took our way across the plain and along the bank in
front of the officers' quarters looking north, and went out at the
gate. Then we left civilization and the world behind us, and plunged
into a wild mountain region; going up, by a track which few feet ever
used, the rough slope to "Number Four." Yet that a few feet used it
was plain.
"Do people come here to walk much?" I asked, as we slowly made our way
up.
"Nobody comes here--for anything."
"Somebody _goes_ here," I said. "This is a beaten path."
"Oh, there is a poor woodcutter's family at the top; they do travel up
and down occasionally."
"It is pretty," I said.
"It is pretty at the top; but we are a long way from that. Is it too
rough for you?"
"Not at all," I said. "I like it."
"You are a good walker for a Southern girl."
"Oh, but I have lived at the North; I am only Southern born."
Soon, however, he made me stop to rest. There was a good grey rock
under the shadow of the trees; Thorold placed me on that and threw
himself on the moss at my feet. We were up so high in the world that
the hills on the other side of the river rose beautifully before us
through the trees, and a sunny bit of the lower ground of the plain
looked like a bit of another world that we were leaving. It was a
sunny afternoon and a little hazy; every line softened, every colour
made richer, under the mellowing atmosphere.
"Now you can explain it all to me," said Thorold, as he threw himself
down. "You have walked too fast. You are warm."
"And you do not look as if it was warm at all."
"I! This is nothing to me," he said. "But perhaps it will warm me and
cool you if we get into a talk. I want explanations."
"About what, Mr. Thorold?"
"Well--if you will excuse me--about you," he said, with a very
pleasant look, frank and soft at once.
"I am quite ready to explain myself. But I am afraid, when I have done
it, that you will not understand me, Mr. Thorold."
"Think I cannot?" said he.
"I am afraid not--without knowing what I know."
"Let us see," said Thorold. "I want to know why you judge so
differently from other people about the right and the wrong of hops
and such things. Somebody is mistaken--that is clear."
"But the difficulty is, I cannot give you my point of view."
"Please try," said Thorold, contentedly.
"Mr. Thorold, I told you, I am a soldier."
"Yes," he said, looking up at me, and little sparkles of light seeming
to come out of his hazel eyes.
"I showed you my orders."
"But I did not understand them to be what you said."
"Suppose you were in an enemy's country," I said; "a rebel country;
and your orders were, to do nothing which could be construed into
encouraging the rebels, or which could help them to think that your
king would hold friendship with them, or that there was not a perfect
gulf of division between you and them."
"But this is not such a case?" said Thorold.
"That is only part," I said. "Suppose your orders were to keep
constant watch and hold yourself at every minute ready for duty, and
to go nowhere and do nothing that would unfit you for instant service,
or put you off your watch?"
"But, Miss Randolph!" said Thorold, a little impatiently, "do these
little dances unfit you for duty?"
"Yes," I said. "And put me off my watch."
"Your watch against what? Oh, pardon me, and _please_ enlighten me. I
do not mean to be impertinent."
"I mean my watch for orders--my watch against evil."
"Won't you explain?" said Thorold, gently and impatiently at once.
"What sort of evil can _you_ possibly fear, in connection with such an
innocent recreation? What 'orders' are you expecting?"
I hesitated. Should I tell him; would he believe; was it best to
unveil the working of my own heart to that degree? And how could I
evade or shirk the question?
"I should not like to tell you," I said at length, "the thoughts and
feelings I found stirring in myself, after the last time I went to the
dance. I dare say they are something that belongs especially to a
woman, and that a man would not know them."
Thorold turned on me again a wonderfully gentle look, for a gay, fiery
young Vermonter, as I knew him to be.
"It wanted only that!" he said. "And the orders, Miss Randolph--what
'orders' are you expecting? You said orders."
"Orders may be given by a sign," I said. "They need not be in words."
He smiled. "I see, you have studied the subject."
"I mean, only, that whenever a duty is plainly put before
me--something given me to do--I know I have 'orders' to do it. And
then, Mr. Thorold, as the orders are not spoken, nor brought to me by
a messenger, only made known to me by a sign of some sort--If I did
not keep a good watch, I should be sure to miss the sign sometimes,
don't you see?"
"This is soldiership!" said Thorold. And getting up, he stood before
me in attitude like a soldier as he was, erect, still with arms
folded, only not up to his chin, like Capt. Percival, but folded
manfully. He had been watching me very intently; now he stood as
intently looking off over the farther landscape. Methought I had a
sort of pride in his fine appearance; and yet he did in no wise belong
to me. Nevertheless, it was pleasant to see the firm, still attitude,
the fine proportions, the military nicety of all his dress, which I
had before noticed on the parade ground. For as there is a difference
between one walk and another, though all trained, so there is a
difference between one neatness and another, though all according to
regulation: and Preston never looked like this.
He turned round at last, and smiled down at me.
"Are you rested?"
"O yes!" I said, rising. "I was not fatigued."
"Are you tired talking?"
"No, not at all. Have I talked so very much?"
He laughed at that, but went on.
"Will you be out of patience with my stupidity?"
I said no.
"Because I am not fully enlightened yet. I want to ask further
questions; and asking questions is very impertinent."