Dead Souls
“I wonder how any one can see anything in the man to praise or to
admire. For my own part, I think--and I would say the same thing
straight to his face--that he is a perfect rascal.”
“Yes, but do listen to what I have got to tell you.”
“Oh, I know that some people think him handsome,” continued the
hostess, unmoved; “but _I_ say that he is nothing of the kind--that, in
particular, his nose is perfectly odious.”
“Yes, but let me finish what I was saying.” The guest’s tone was almost
piteous in its appeal.
“What is it, then?”
“You cannot imagine my state of mind! You see, this morning I received
a visit from Father Cyril’s wife--the Archpriest’s wife--you know her,
don’t you? Well, whom do you suppose that fine gentleman visitor of ours
has turned out to be?”
“The man who has built the Archpriest a poultry-run?”
“Oh dear no! Had that been all, it would have been nothing. No. Listen
to what Father Cyril’s wife had to tell me. She said that, last night,
a lady landowner named Madame Korobotchka arrived at the Archpriest’s
house--arrived all pale and trembling--and told her, oh, such things!
They sound like a piece out of a book. That is to say, at dead of night,
just when every one had retired to rest, there came the most dreadful
knocking imaginable, and some one screamed out, ‘Open the gates, or we
will break them down!’ Just think! After this, how any one can say that
the man is charming I cannot imagine.”
“Well, what of Madame Korobotchka? Is she a young woman or good
looking?”
“Oh dear no! Quite an old woman.”
“Splendid indeed! So he is actually engaged to a person like that? One
may heartily commend the taste of our ladies for having fallen in love
with him!”
“Nevertheless, it is not as you suppose. Think, now! Armed with weapons
from head to foot, he called upon this old woman, and said: ‘Sell me any
souls of yours which have lately died.’ Of course, Madame Korobotchka
answered, reasonably enough: ‘I cannot sell you those souls, seeing that
they have departed this world;’ but he replied: ‘No, no! They are NOT
dead. ’Tis I who tell you that--I who ought to know the truth of the
matter. I swear that they are still alive.’ In short, he made such a
scene that the whole village came running to the house, and children
screamed, and men shouted, and no one could tell what it was all
about. The affair seemed to me so horrible, so utterly horrible, that I
trembled beyond belief as I listened to the story. ‘My dearest madam,’
said my maid, Mashka, ‘pray look at yourself in the mirror, and see how
white you are.’ ‘But I have no time for that,’ I replied, ‘as I must
be off to tell my friend, Anna Grigorievna, the news.’ Nor did I lose a
moment in ordering the koliaska. Yet when my coachman, Andrusha, asked
me for directions I could not get a word out--I just stood staring
at him like a fool, until I thought he must think me mad. Oh, Anna
Grigorievna, if you but knew how upset I am!”
“What a strange affair!” commented the hostess. “What on earth can
the man have meant by ‘dead souls’? I confess that the words pass my
understanding. Curiously enough, this is the second time I have heard
speak of those souls. True, my husband avers that Nozdrev was lying; yet
in his lies there seems to have been a grain of truth.”
“Well, just think of my state when I heard all this! ‘And now,’
apparently said Korobotchka to the Archpriest’s wife, ‘I am altogether
at a loss what to do, for, throwing me fifteen roubles, the man forced
me to sign a worthless paper--yes, me, an inexperienced, defenceless
widow who knows nothing of business.’ That such things should happen!
TRY and imagine my feelings!”
“In my opinion, there is in this more than the dead souls which meet the
eye.”
“I think so too,” agreed the other. As a matter of fact, her friend’s
remark had struck her with complete surprise, as well as filled her with
curiosity to know what the word “more” might possibly signify. In fact,
she felt driven to inquire: “What do YOU suppose to be hidden beneath it
all?”
“No; tell me what YOU suppose?”
“What _I_ suppose? I am at a loss to conjecture.”
“Yes, but tell me what is in your mind?”
Upon this the visitor had to confess herself nonplussed; for, though
capable of growing hysterical, she was incapable of propounding any
rational theory. Consequently she felt the more that she needed tender
comfort and advice.
“Then THIS is what I think about the dead souls,” said the hostess.
Instantly the guest pricked up her ears (or, rather, they pricked
themselves up) and straightened herself and became, somehow, more
modish, and, despite her not inconsiderable weight, posed herself to
look like a piece of thistledown floating on the breeze.
“The dead souls,” began the hostess.
“Are what, are what?” inquired the guest in great excitement.
“Are, are--”
“Tell me, tell me, for heaven’s sake!”
“They are an invention to conceal something else. The man’s real object
is, is--TO ABDUCT THE GOVERNOR’S DAUGHTER.”
So startling and unexpected was this conclusion that the guest sat
reduced to a state of pale, petrified, genuine amazement.
“My God!” she cried, clapping her hands, “I should NEVER have guessed
it!”
“Well, to tell you the truth, I guessed it as soon as ever you opened
your mouth.”
“So much, then, for educating girls like the Governor’s daughter at
school! Just see what comes of it!”
“Yes, indeed! And they tell me that she says things which I hesitate
even to repeat.”
“Truly it wrings one’s heart to see to what lengths immorality has
come.”
“Some of the men have quite lost their heads about her, but for my part
I think her not worth noticing.”
“Of course. And her manners are unbearable. But what puzzles me most is
how a travelled man like Chichikov could come to let himself in for such
an affair. Surely he must have accomplices?”
“Yes; and I should say that one of those accomplices is Nozdrev.”
“Surely not?”
“CERTAINLY I should say so. Why, I have known him even try to sell his
own father! At all events he staked him at cards.”
“Indeed? You interest me. I should never had thought him capable of such
things.”
“I always guessed him to be so.”
The two ladies were still discussing the matter with acumen and success
when there walked into the room the Public Prosecutor--bushy eyebrows,
motionless features, blinking eyes, and all. At once the ladies hastened
to inform him of the events related, adducing therewith full details
both as to the purchase of dead souls and as to the scheme to abduct the
Governor’s daughter; after which they departed in different directions,
for the purpose of raising the rest of the town. For the execution of
this undertaking not more than half an hour was required. So thoroughly
did they succeed in throwing dust in the public’s eyes that for a while
every one--more especially the army of public officials--was placed in
the position of a schoolboy who, while still asleep, has had a bag of
pepper thrown in his face by a party of more early-rising comrades. The
questions now to be debated resolved themselves into two--namely, the
question of the dead souls and the question of the Governor’s daughter.
To this end two parties were formed--the men’s party and the feminine
section. The men’s party--the more absolutely senseless of the
two--devoted its attention to the dead souls: the women’s party
occupied itself exclusively with the alleged abduction of the Governor’s
daughter. And here it may be said (to the ladies’ credit) that the
women’s party displayed far more method and caution than did its rival
faction, probably because the function in life of its members had always
been that of managing and administering a household. With the ladies,
therefore, matters soon assumed vivid and definite shape; they became
clearly and irrefutably materialised; they stood stripped of all doubt
and other impedimenta. Said some of the ladies in question, Chichikov
had long been in love with the maiden, and the pair had kept tryst by
the light of the moon, while the Governor would have given his consent
(seeing that Chichikov was as rich as a Jew) but for the obstacle that
Chichikov had deserted a wife already (how the worthy dames came to
know that he was married remains a mystery), and the said deserted wife,
pining with love for her faithless husband, had sent the Governor a
letter of the most touching kind, so that Chichikov, on perceiving that
the father and mother would never give their consent, had decided to
abduct the girl. In other circles the matter was stated in a different
way. That is to say, this section averred that Chichikov did NOT possess
a wife, but that, as a man of subtlety and experience, he had bethought
him of obtaining the daughter’s hand through the expedient of first
tackling the mother and carrying on with her an ardent liaison, and
that, thereafter, he had made an application for the desired hand, but
that the mother, fearing to commit a sin against religion, and feeling
in her heart certain gnawings of conscience, had returned a blank
refusal to Chichikov’s request; whereupon Chichikov had decided to carry
out the abduction alleged. To the foregoing, of course, there became
appended various additional proofs and items of evidence, in proportion
as the sensation spread to more remote corners of the town. At length,
with these perfectings, the affair reached the ears of the Governor’s
wife herself. Naturally, as the mother of a family, and as the first
lady in the town, and as a matron who had never before been suspected of
things of the kind, she was highly offended when she heard the stories,
and very justly so: with the result that her poor young daughter, though
innocent, had to endure about as unpleasant a tete-a-tete as ever befell
a maiden of sixteen, while, for his part, the Swiss footman received
orders never at any time to admit Chichikov to the house.
Having done their business with the Governor’s wife, the ladies’ party
descended upon the male section, with a view to influencing it to their
own side by asserting that the dead souls were an invention used solely
for the purpose of diverting suspicion and successfully affecting the
abduction. And, indeed, more than one man was converted, and joined the
feminine camp, in spite of the fact that thereby such seceders incurred
strong names from their late comrades--names such as “old women,”
“petticoats,” and others of a nature peculiarly offensive to the male
sex.
Also, however much they might arm themselves and take the field, the
men could not compass such orderliness within their ranks as could the
women. With the former everything was of the antiquated and rough-hewn
and ill-fitting and unsuitable and badly-adapted and inferior kind;
their heads were full of nothing but discord and triviality and
confusion and slovenliness of thought. In brief, they displayed
everywhere the male bent, the rude, ponderous nature which is incapable
either of managing a household or of jumping to a conclusion, as well
as remains always distrustful and lazy and full of constant doubt and
everlasting timidity. For instance, the men’s party declared that the
whole story was rubbish--that the alleged abduction of the Governor’s
daughter was the work rather of a military than of a civilian culprit;
that the ladies were lying when they accused Chichikov of the deed;
that a woman was like a money-bag--whatsoever you put into her she
thenceforth retained; that the subject which really demanded attention
was the dead souls, of which the devil only knew the meaning, but in
which there certainly lurked something that was contrary to good order
and discipline. One reason why the men’s party was so certain that the
dead souls connoted something contrary to good order and discipline,