Dick, Marjorie and Fidge: A Search for the Wonderful Dodo
"Dear me, what a pity! I'm not moulting, or you might have had one or
two of my feathers to stick on for a tail," he added.
"H'm! I shouldn't have thought you had any to spare for moulting
purposes," said the Archaeopteryx.
"Don't be unkind," retorted the Dodo; "_you_ haven't many to boast of."
"I've more than you have, anyhow," said the Archaeopteryx.
"Oh, for goodness' sake leave off quarreling. What on earth does it
matter how many feathers you have?" said Dick.
"Not to a _boy_, I suppose," remarked the Dodo, somewhat insolently;
"but no respectable bird would care to be seen about with less than
five; though, undoubtedly, too many are vulgar"--this with a scornful
glance at the Archaeopteryx's tail, which was decorated with quite a
number of curious flat feathers.
I don't know how much longer this wrangling would have gone on, had not
the Court Glover just then made his appearance.
"Time's up!" he announced, sternly. "Are you prepared for execution,
Dodo?"
"Not quite," answered the Executioner, who was putting the finishing
touches to the effigy; "his head keeps tumbling off."
"Never mind, it will save cutting it off," said the Court Glover, who
was evidently quite used to the Executioner's patent method of
performing his dreadful duty.
"Now then," he continued importantly. "Stand round in a ring while I
read the Warrant. 'Ahem! Nevertheless, likewise, notwithstanding,
heretofore, as is aforesaid. It having been proven that a certain bird
named the Dodo having maliciously and contemptibly worn the white kid
gloves of the Little Panjandrum, it is hereby enacted that the said
Dodo, or his heirs male, or assigns, be chopped at the neck till one or
all of their respective heads do fall off--and this to be done to their
entire satisfaction. LONG LIVE THE PANJANDRUM!'"
"What a rigmarole!" whispered Dick, while the Executioner stretched out
the Dodo's effigy on the ground, and, resuming his hideous black mask,
made ready to strike.
"Alas! Alas!" murmured the Court Glover, covering his face with his
hands, and peeping through his fingers, while the Dodo held his sides
with suppressed laughter.
The children all looked on with interest as the Executioner performed
his terrible duty. Raising his curious scythe-like chopper, with one
mighty blow he severed the piece of wood which answered for the Dodo's
neck, and then stood gloomily aside.
"_Fiat Justitia_!" said the Court Glover, solemnly; and then, turning to
the Dodo, he inquired anxiously, "Well, how did you like it?"
"Oh! it was delightful!" replied the bird, enthusiastically. "I am sure
no one could wish to have a pleasanter or more delightful execution. I'm
much obliged to you for having it so nicely performed."
"Well, we always like to manage these little things as pleasantly as
possible, you know," said the Court Glover, deprecatingly.
"Oh! I quite enjoyed it!" said the Dodo. "That's a _very_ nice
Executioner you have."
"Yes; isn't he?" agreed the Court Glover. "Pity he laughs so much,
though, it spoils the effect. Well, having done my duty, I must be off.
Any message for the Little Panjandrum?"
"Oh! can't we go back with you in the balloon?" asked Marjorie, eagerly,
for it seemed to her a capital opportunity of getting away from this
strange place.
"H'm! I'm afraid not," said the Court Glover, reflectively. "You see, it
only holds two comfortably."
"Where do you want to go to?" asked the Archaeopteryx.
"England!" said the children, all together.
"Oh! _that's_ all right. I'll tell you the way to get _there_," said the
Palaeotherium.
And the Court Glover and the Executioner began to undo the cords which
held the balloon to the palm tree.
"You might leave me your card," said the Dodo to the Executioner,
pressing a small coin into his hand. "I shall probably go in for a
complete course of execution when I get back again; and, besides, the
address of a good, reliable Executioner is a handy thing to have in the
house."
The Executioner giggled, and handed the bird his card, and then both he
and the Court Glover got into the car, and the balloon was soon
vanishing in the distance.
After watching them nearly out of sight the Dodo capered wildly about
till the children began to fear that he had suddenly gone off his head.
"Whatever is the matter?" inquired Dick. "Why are you carrying on in
that absurd way?"
The Dodo fumbled beneath one wing, and drew forth a little paper
package.
"Ha! ha! ha! _They went away without the gloves after all_!" he
shrieked, and began to roll about on the ground in an uncontrollable fit
of laughter.
CHAPTER XVI.
THE PREHISTORIC DOCTOR.
"I can't imagine," said Dick, "why you think such a lot of those
wretched old gloves. They seem to have got you into quite enough trouble
already."
"They look so respectable," explained the Dodo, "and give one such an
air. You have _never_ before seen a bird wearing gloves, now, have you?"
he added, appealing to the company generally, who were obliged to
flatter his vanity by confessing that they never had.
Dick, however, in a spirit of pure mischief, decided to play him a
trick. So, when the Dodo, having put on one glove, strutted away to show
off before the Archaeopteryx, leaving the other one behind him, Dick
quickly picked it up and put it on himself, then calling to aid the
power which the Panjandrum's Ambassador had given him of being able to
make himself whatever size he wished, he cried, "I wish to be as big as
the biggest giant that ever lived," and immediately became so tall that
the Palaeotherium and the Eteraedarium, who were standing near, fled in
dismay, while Marjorie and Fidge looked up with the greatest of
admiration to their now big--big brother.
Dick then telling them, in a voice that sounded like thunder, to stand
aside, took off the glove, which had, of course, grown with him, and
threw it on to the ground, where it lay a huge mass of coarse leather as
many _feet_ long as it had formerly been _inches_, and with buttons
almost as big as dinner plates.
It was, of course, the easiest matter imaginable for Dick to reduce
himself to his proper size again, while the glove remained as it was,
and this he very quickly did, to the evident relief of the poor
Palaeotherium and the Eteraedarium, who had been trembling and quaking
behind a clump of trees, and looking with the greatest disquietude at
these extraordinary proceedings.
"This is fine growing weather, Sir," remarked the Palaeotherium,
respectfully, as he came forward and stood by Dick beside the enormous
glove.
Dick laughed, and rather delighted in the evident impression which he
had made upon the creatures by his performance, and a moment after the
Dodo returned, looking about him eagerly in search of his lost
property.
"What's the matter?" inquired Dick, solicitously.
"Er--have any of you seen a white kid glove lying about?" said the Dodo,
anxiously.
"Is that it?" asked Dick, pointing to the enormous object lying at his
feet.
The Dodo gave a start.
"Er--er--oh--my!" he exclaimed. "I do believe--why, surely it
isn't--yes--yes--bless me, if I don't believe that it really _is_ my
glove. Why, whatever has happened to it?"
"It certainly looks rather large for you," remarked the Palaeotherium.
"Large! why it's prodigious!" exclaimed the Dodo.
"What size do you wear?" asked Marjorie, who was enjoying the fun.
The Dodo undid the glove which he had on and looked inside.
"Sevens," he remarked.
"And this," said Dick, kicking the enormous glove open, "is marked
ninety-nines!"
"I don't believe I _could_ wear that size," said the bird,
disconsolately. "Whatever is to be done?"
"I should get inside it altogether, if I were you," suggested Dick.
"Don't be ridiculous," said the Dodo, beginning to cry. "It's bad enough
to--to--have one's gloves car--carrying on in this fas-fashion, without
being laughed at by--by a parcel of cre--creatures that don't care
anything about their per--per--personal appearance, and who--who
nev--never wore a p--p--pair of gloves in their lives!"
"Oh!" cried Marjorie, "I'm sure _we_ wear gloves when we are at home,
don't we, Dick?"
"Of course," said he.
"And me, too," declared Fidge; "me wears goves."
"I don't believe it," sobbed the Dodo; "and if I did, I wouldn't, so
there!"
"I think you are an awful cry-baby," said Dick; "I should be ashamed, if
I were you, to be always sniveling about nothing."
The Dodo didn't answer, but sat down beside the enormous glove, and
continued to sob and cry till his eyes, which were never very beautiful,
became swollen and red, and his little lace handkerchief was wringing
wet with his tears.
Marjorie, in her kind-hearted way, tried to comfort him, and privately
suggested to Dick that, as the poor bird seemed so very much cut up
about his glove, that he should restore it to its natural size again.
This, however, Dick positively refused to do for the present, and the
Dodo becoming worse instead of better, the Archaeopteryx said he should
go and fetch a doctor.
"Oh, do!" cried the Dodo, sitting up, and becoming interested at once.
"I _love_ doctors, they give you such nice stuff to take."
"Ough!" shuddered Marjorie.
"I'm sure they do, then," said the Dodo; "lovely little pills with sugar
on them, and powders in jam--oh, lovely! Don't you think powders in jam
delicious?" he asked, appealing to Dick.
"No; I certainly don't," was the reply, as the Archaeopteryx, followed by
a funny-looking little old man, came running back.
The Prehistoric Doctor--for so the children found he was called--was
dressed in a coarse coat made of bear's skin, under which was a spotless
shirt-front and collar; an old-fashioned pair of horn-rimmed spectacles
completed his costume, while some dangerous-looking surgical instruments
projected from a rough pocket tacked on to the side of his coat.
"Ah!--h'm! and _how_ are we feeling this morning?" he said, kindly,
going up to the Dodo.
The bird turned up his eyes pathetically and gave a sigh.
"Like a dying duck in a thunderstorm," whispered Dick, and Marjorie had
to hold her handkerchief to her mouth to keep from giggling out loud.
"Ah! How is the pulse?" continued the Doctor, in a soothing voice.
The Dodo gravely extended the pinion with the glove on it.
This seemed to puzzle the Doctor a little at first, but after looking at
it for a moment through his spectacles, he fished an enormous silver
watch out of another pocket in his skin coat, and carefully pinching the
glove between his finger and thumb, regarding his timepiece anxiously.
This operation over, he shook his head gravely, and demanded to see the
Dodo's tongue.
"Oh! I couldn't!" simpered the bird; "I really couldn't; it's so rude to
put out one's tongue, you know."
A little persuasion, however, on the part of the Doctor prevailed upon
him to open his enormous beak, and the examination was proceeded with.
"Tut! tut! this is serious!" exclaimed the Doctor, regarding the Dodo's
tongue critically. "We must have a change of air immediately, and
thorough rest. I will go and make you up a little prescription, and I
would advise you to start at once. The air at--er--the Crystal Palace
would suit you admirably. There is an excursion starting to-day. I
should certainly go by that if I were you."
"The Crystal Palace! Why, that's near London!" cried Marjorie,
excitedly. "Can't we go by the excursion, too?"
"Of course you can," chimed in the Palaeotherium; "we'll all go, and make
up a nice little family party."