Doctor Cupid: A Novel
summer he used to stare up at the sky and the jackdaws. 'It is a sad
thought that one never can gain anything in this world without some
counterbalancing loss! Life is a sort of compromise; is not it, Peg?'
'If you do not tell her, I warn you that I shall tell her myself.'
Her tone is so resolute that Freddy forsakes his pensive generalities,
and sits up.
'I am sorry once again, my Peggy, to have to remind you of that
well-known firm who realised a large fortune by minding their own
business.'
'It is my own business,' retorts Peggy firmly, though her cheek burns,
'it is Prue's business; and Prue's business is mine. If you do not tell
milady, I repeat that I shall tell her myself.'
'I daresay you will,' replies Freddy sadly; 'and if you do, you will
give a great deal of pain to a person who has never wittingly given you
anything but pleasure in all her life.'
'Why should I give her pain?' returns Margaret, rising in high
excitement from her chair, and standing before the fire, with quivering
nostril and flashing eye. 'What is there to give her pain in----'
'It would give her pain, acute pain, to hear such a piece of news from
any one but myself,' answers Freddy, with the same air of subdued
sadness.
'Then why do not _you_ tell her?' persists Margaret.
For all answer he rises too, and tries, unsuccessfully this time, to put
his brotherly arm about her waist. 'Wait till I have got through my
schools,' he says in a melting whisper; 'wait till I have taken my
degree. When I have taken my degree she can no longer look upon me as a
child, bless her old heart!'
'I see no signs of her looking upon you as a child now.'
'Oh, but she does,' replies Freddy confidently; 'to her' (beginning to
laugh) 'I am still the lisping little innocent whom she took to her arms
eighteen years ago.' Then, growing grave again, 'I do not think that you
quite understand how difficult it is for an old person to realise that
we are grown up; as I have told you several times, I find it difficult
to realise it myself. Do not you too? No? Well, dear, because you are
strong yourself do not be harsh to weaker vessels; but,' sinking his
voice to a coaxing whisper, 'be the dear thing I have always found you,
and wait till I have taken my degree.'
She has not the slightest ambition to be the 'dear thing he has always
found her;' and his beguilements would have been absolutely wasted upon
her, nor served to turn her by one hair's breadth from her purpose, had
not they been so strenuously backed up by Prue.
'Oh, Peggy, for pity's sake do not interfere!' she has implored, with
eyes full of tears and an agonised voice. 'Leave it all to him. He has
such exquisite tact that he is sure to choose the best moment for
telling her; and if you told her, and anything disagreeable came of it,
it might give him a turn against me. He is so finely strung--he knows it
himself, and looks upon it as quite a misfortune; the other day he asked
me if I thought there was any use in his trying to change it--so finely
strung that he cannot bear a contact with anything harsh or violent;
and, as he often says, our love now is like a poem; and he thinks that
anything that seemed to vulgarise it, or pull it down to a common level,
would _kill_ him.'
'Very well, dear, very well,' replies Peggy, with a long impatient sigh,
stroking her sister's hair; 'have it your own way; only I fancy he would
take more killing than that.'
And now Christmas has gone, and the New Year come; and Freddy has
returned to his studies, leaving his aunt still in ignorance of those
tidings which his exquisite tact has not yet found the right moment to
communicate.
And now the spring is coming on with slow green steps. The brown earth
is rubbing her eyes, in preparation for her blossomed wakening. Peggy's
garden, so long iron-bound, is beginning to turn in its sleep. Jacob and
she have gone together round their domain, counting over the dead and
wounded that the long frost has left them in legacy. Among the dead, the
irrecoverably dead, to which no Easter sunshine or April rains can bring
back any little green shoots of life, is the old lavender-bush.
What matter? There are plenty of young ones. And yet, as she stands
looking at the dry wreck of last year's fragrance, a hot and foolish
tear steals into each eye. Her back is turned towards Jacob, who is
examining the mowing-machine, which will soon be again needed.
'It wants fettlin' a bit,' he says in a grumbling voice; 'it has never
been the same since that Muster Talbot meddled wi' it.'
Poor Muster Talbot! There is not much fear of his meddling with the
mowing-machine ever again. She lifts her eyes, still a little obscured
by those tears, to the sky, and they follow a pigeon, its wings
silver-white as they turn in the sun. It is flying southwards. She
wishes idly that it would fly to him to tell him that the lavender-bush
is dead, and the mowing-machine broken; only it should choose a moment
when Lady Betty is not by, as such silly news would not interest her.
She strolls away from Jacob, his last remark having given her a distaste
for his conversation; strolls away into the little orchard, listening to
the birds. How loud they are! and despite the long winter, how many!
What a honeyed Babel of strong little voices! There is the thrush, of
course:
'The wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,
Lest you should think he never could recapture
The first fine careless rapture!'
But besides the thrush's dominant harmony, how many others there are!
There are the chiff-chaff's clear reiterations; the wren, with a voice
so much bigger than her tiny body; the chaffinch's laugh-like notes; the
robin's, who, not content with his own pretty song, that perhaps he
thinks smacks too much of winter, puzzlingly mimics other singers. She
lifts her eyes, shaded by her hand, to look at them, as they
swing--jubilant specks--on twig and tree-top. How they are bragging of
their happiness! outbragging one another! They are extravagantly gay,
and yet their melodies bring the tears to her eyes. Perhaps they remind
her that she is alone. Perhaps--more likely, indeed, since she is not
very apt to be thinking of herself at all--they remind her of another
extravagant gaiety, over which she rejoices or half rejoices in
trembling. It is only in trembling that any human soul can see one they
love uplifted to such a height of extravagant joy as that on which Prue
now sits queening it over the workaday world. 'Can it last?' is the
anxious question that Peggy asks herself a hundred times a day; finds
herself feverishly asking when she wakes up at night.
If Prue's beauty, such as it is, can keep him, then indeed she has a
better chance than ever; for love has put a meaning into the poor soul's
insignificant lilies and roses, and made her transiently beautiful. If
love, insane and limitless; love at once grovelling and soaring; love
that would kiss the dust from his feet, or be burned by a slow fire to
give him a moment's pleasure--if love such as this can bind him, then is
he bound indeed. But can it?
'I wish you would not spoil him so,' Peggy says grudgingly one day,
during the Easter vacation, when her sister has come hurrying from
garden to house, on some errand of Freddy's. 'I cannot bear to see you
fetching and carrying for him; it is such a reversal of the right order
of things. You spend your life in waiting upon him hand and foot!'
'How could I spend it better?' replies Prue, the rapturous colour coming
into her face, and the moisture into her radiant eyes.
And so Peggy has to submit, has to overhear ten and twenty times a day:
'My Prue, if you are going to the house--of course, do not go on
purpose--my darling, I could not hear of such a thing! What do you
suppose that I am made of? Well, of course, if you insist! it is awfully
good of you! I will do as much for you when I am as young as you are,'
etc. 'Prue, there is a fly on my forehead! I cannot get at my own hands
somehow; do you think you could flick it off for me!' 'Oh, Prue! my head
burns so! feel it! You do not happen to have any eau-de-Cologne in the
room, do you? No? Then do not trouble to go upstairs for it. What? You
have been to fetch it! Bad Prue! and I told you not!'
Easter has fallen late this year, and so has come with pomp of
pear-blossom, with teeming primroses, with garden hyacinth and field
daffodil; has come, too, with a breath like June's. The garden-chairs
are set out; and on them, just as if it were midsummer, only that above
their heads the Judas-tree holds leafless arms, the lovers sit, through
the splendour of the lengthening days.
Freddy has said many a charming thing about the pear-blossom; about
nature's awakening; about the hymeneal birds--things that, as Prue says,
are almost poetry just as he speaks them, without any alteration. But he
will not be able to say any more to-day, since he lies under one of his
mysterious obligations--an obligation which he not darkly hints to have
been imposed upon him by his aunt--to dine and sleep at a house in the
neighbourhood.
'Milady has ignored them for twenty years,' he says of his intended
hosts; 'and now she is sending me out as her dove, with her
olive-branch. Of course I could not be so selfish as to refuse her.
But,' with a heavy sigh, 'I wish she would carry her olive-branch
herself!'
'I wish she would,' replies Prue dejectedly, her small face already
overcast at the prospect of twenty-four hours' separation.
'It seems hard that one can never be perfectly well off without there
coming some element of change and disintegration,' says Freddy, with a
subdued sadness. 'Well, God bless you, darling! Take care of her, Peggy!
Take good care of my Prue! Be waiting for me, Prue, at the garden-gate
at twelve o'clock to-morrow!'
And Prue does wait, is waiting long before the appointed hour; waits--it
would be piteous to say for how long after that hour--waits in vain, for
Freddy comes not. He does not return all that day; nor is it till late
on the next that he comes stepping, cool and smiling, across the evening
shadows.
'Do not go to meet him,' says Peggy half crossly; 'he does not deserve
it!'
But she speaks, as she had known that she would, to inattentive ears. It
was, indeed, only as a relief to her own feelings that she had given
that futile counsel. It is some time before they rejoin her, and when
they do--
'It was not quite so bad as you expected, I suppose?' Margaret says, a
little drily.
'When is anything so bad as one expects?' replies Freddy evasively,
throwing himself into his accustomed chair; 'by Jove! how the pear-tree
has come out since I left!'
'That was two whole days ago!' says Prue, rather wistfully.
'Two whole days ago!--so it was--
"Measured by opening and by closing flowers!"
Prue, do you happen to have a needle about you? No? Of course I do not
mean to give you the trouble of going into the house to fetch one; some
people have a crop of needles always about them. Oh, Prue!--stop! I am
shocked--that is the last thing I meant!'
But poor Prue is off like a lapwing.
'You stayed longer than you intended?' says Peggy interrogatively.
'Yes;--by Jove, Peggy! do not you wish you could paint? Did you ever see
anything like the colour of that sky behind the pear-blossom?'
'Did you like them?'
'Oh, you know I like everybody,' answers he vaguely; 'I do not think I
possess the faculty of dislike. I think,' pensively, 'that in every
human soul, if one gets near enough to it, there is something to love;
and,' with a change of key, 'good heavens, are not they rich! They have
a yacht of 500 tons; they are going round the world in her next autumn;
they asked me to go too. I should like to go round the world.'