Dostoevsky
prince, though the subject is not worthy of so much notice on your
part, my pockets were always perfectly good, and then a hole like that,
all of a sudden, in one night! I began to look at it more curiously;
it’s as though someone had cut it with a penknife. Isn’t it almost
incredible?’
“‘And ... the general?’
“‘He’s been angry all day; both yesterday and to-day: fearfully
ill-humoured. At one time he’d be beaming and hilarious till he began
to pay me compliments, then he’d be sentimental to tears, then suddenly
angry: so much so that I’d be frightened really, for I’m not a military
man, after all. We were sitting yesterday in the tavern, and the lappet
of my coat stood out as though by chance, in the most prominent way: a
perfect mountain. He looked at it on the sly and was angry. He hasn’t
looked me straight in the face for a long time, unless he’s very drunk
or sentimental, but yesterday he gave me a look that made a shudder run
down my spine. To-morrow, though, I mean to find the pocket-book, but I
shall have an evening’s fun with him before then.’
“‘Why are you tormenting him so?’ cried Myshkin.
“‘I’m not tormenting him, prince, I’m not tormenting him,’ Lebedyev
replied with warmth. ‘I sincerely love and--respect him; and now,
whether you believe it or not, he’s dearer to me than ever. I have come
to appreciate him even more.’
“‘You love him and you torment him like this! Why, by the very act
of putting the lost pocket-book where it could be seen under the
chair and in your coat, by that alone he shows you that he doesn’t
want to deceive you, but with your open-hearted simplicity asks your
forgiveness. Do you hear? He’s asking your forgiveness. So he relies on
the delicacy of your feelings, so he believes in your friendship for
him. And yet you reduce to such humiliation a man like that--a most
honest man!’
“‘Most honest prince, most honest.’ Lebedyev assented, with sparkling
eyes. ‘And you, most noble prince, are the only person capable of
uttering that true word about him! For that, I am devoted to you, and
ready to worship you, though I am rotten to the core with vices of all
sorts! That’s settled it! I will find the pocket-book now, at once, not
to-morrow. Look, I will take it before your eyes; here it is. There’s
the money, untouched here. Take it, most noble prince, take care of
it till to-morrow. To-morrow or next day I’ll have it. And, you know,
prince, it’s evident that it must have been lying somewhere in my
garden, hidden under some stone, the first night it was lost. What do
you think?’
“‘Mind you don’t tell him directly to his face that you’ve found the
pocket-book. Let him simply see that there’s nothing in the lappet of
your coat, and he’ll understand.’
“‘You think so? Wouldn’t it be better to tell him I have found it, and
to pretend I had not guessed about it till now?’
“‘N-no,’ Myshkin pondered, ‘n-no; it’s too late for that now. That’s
more risky. You’d really better not speak of it. Be kind to him,
but--don’t show too much, and--and--you know....’
“‘I know, prince, I know. That is, I know that I shan’t do it properly,
perhaps, for one needs to have a heart like yours to do it. Besides,
he’s irritable and prone to it himself, he has begun to treat me too
superciliously sometimes of late. One minute he is whimpering and
embracing me, and then he’ll suddenly begin to snub me, and sneer at me
contemptuously, and then I just show him the lappet on purpose. He-he!
Good-bye, prince; for it’s dear I’m keeping you and interrupting you in
your most interesting feelings, so to say....’
“‘But for goodness’ sake, the same secrecy as before.’
“‘Treading softly, treading softly!’
“But, though the matter was settled, Myshkin remained almost more
puzzled than before. He awaited with impatience his interview with the
general next day.”[140]
FOOTNOTES
[139] _A Raw Youth_, pp. 88-93.
[140] _The Idiot_, pp. 490-494.
Transcriber’s Notes
• Italics represented with _underscores_.
• Small caps converted to ALL CAPS.
• Footnotes renumbered consecutively and moved to the end of their
respective chapters.
• Obvious typographic errors silently corrected.
• Variations in spelling and hyphenation kept as in the original.