Eighty Years and More; Reminiscences 1815-1897
patiently he works through long months and years on sky and lake,
on tree and flower; and when complete, it represents to him more
love and life, more hope and ambition, than the living child at his
side, to whose conception and antenatal development not one soulful
thought was ever given. To this impressible period of human life,
few parents give any thought; yet here we must begin to cultivate
virtues that can alone redeem the world.
"The contradictory views in which woman is represented are as
pitiful as varied. While the Magnificat to the Virgin is chanted in
all our cathedrals round the globe on each returning Sabbath day,
and her motherhood extolled by her worshipers, maternity for the
rest of womankind is referred to as a weakness, a disability, a
curse, an evidence of woman's divinely ordained subjection. Yet
surely the real woman should have some points of resemblance in
character and position with the ideal one, whom poets, novelists,
and artists portray.
"It is folly to talk of the sacredness of marriage and maternity,
while the wife is practically regarded as an inferior, a subject, a
slave. Having decided that companionship and conscientious
parenthood are the only true grounds for marriage, if the relation
brings out the worst characteristics of each party, or if the home
atmosphere is unwholesome for children, is not the very _raison
d'être_ of the union wanting, and the marriage practically
annulled? It cannot be called a holy relation,--no, not a desirable
one,--when love and mutual respect are wanting. And let us bear in
mind one other important fact: the lack of sympathy and content in
the parents indicates radical physical unsuitability, which
results in badly organized offspring. If, then, the real object of
marriage is defeated, it is for the interest of the State, as well
as the individual concerned, to see that all such pernicious unions
be legally dissolved. Inasmuch, then, as incompatibility of temper
defeats the two great objects of marriage, it should be the primal
cause for divorce.
"The true standpoint from which to view this question is individual
sovereignty, individual happiness. It is often said that the
interests of society are paramount, and first to be considered.
This was the Roman idea, the Pagan idea, that the individual was
made for the State. The central idea of barbarism has ever been the
family, the tribe, the nation--never the individual. But the great
doctrine of Christianity is the right of individual conscience and
judgment. The reason it took such a hold on the hearts of the
people was because it taught that the individual was primary; the
State, the Church, society, the family, secondary. However, a
comprehensive view of any question of human interest, shows that
the highest good and happiness of the individual and society lie in
the same direction.
"The question of divorce, like marriage, should be settled, as to
its most sacred relations, by the parties themselves; neither the
State nor the Church having any right to intermeddle therein. As to
property and children, it must be viewed and regulated as a civil
contract. Then the union should be dissolved with at least as much
deliberation and publicity as it was formed. There might be some
ceremony and witnesses to add to the dignity and solemnity of the
occasion. Like the Quaker marriage, which the parties conduct
themselves, so, in this case, without any statement of their
disagreements, the parties might simply declare that, after living
together for several years, they found themselves unsuited to each
other, and incapable of making a happy home.
"If divorce were made respectable, and recognized by society as a
duty, as well as a right, reasonable men and women could arrange
all the preliminaries, often, even, the division of property and
guardianship of children, quite as satisfactorily as it could be
done in the courts. Where the mother is capable of training the
children, a sensible father would leave them to her care rather
than place them in the hands of a stranger.
"But, where divorce is not respectable, men who have no paternal
feeling will often hold the child, not so much for its good or his
own affection, as to punish the wife for disgracing him. The love
of children is not strong in most men, and they feel but little
responsibility in regard to them. See how readily they turn off
young sons to shift for themselves, and, unless the law compelled
them to support their illegitimate children, they would never give
them a second thought. But on the mother-soul rest forever the care
and responsibility of human life. Her love for the child born out
of wedlock is often intensified by the infinite pity she feels
through its disgrace. Even among the lower animals we find the
female ever brooding over the young and helpless.
"Limiting the causes of divorce to physical defects or
delinquencies; making the proceedings public; prying into all the
personal affairs of unhappy men and women; regarding the step as
quasi criminal; punishing the guilty party in the suit; all this
will not strengthen frail human nature, will not insure happy
homes, will not banish scandals and purge society of prostitution.
"No, no; the enemy of marriage, of the State, of society is not
liberal divorce laws, but the unhealthy atmosphere that exists in
the home itself. A legislative act cannot make a unit of a divided
family."
CHAPTER XV.
WOMEN AS PATRIOTS.
On April 15, 1861, the President of the United States called out
seventy-five thousand militia, and summoned Congress to meet July 4,
when four hundred thousand men were called for, and four hundred
millions of dollars were voted to suppress the Rebellion.
These startling events roused the entire people, and turned the current
of their thoughts in new directions. While the nation's life hung in the
balance, and the dread artillery of war drowned, alike, the voices of
commerce, politics, religion, and reform, all hearts were filled with
anxious forebodings, all hands were busy in solemn preparations for the
awful tragedies to come.
At this eventful hour the patriotism of woman shone forth as fervently
and spontaneously as did that of man; and her self-sacrifice and
devotion were displayed in as many varied fields of action. While he
buckled on his knapsack and marched forth to conquer the enemy, she
planned the campaigns which brought the nation victory; fought in the
ranks, when she could do so without detection; inspired the sanitary
commission; gathered needed supplies for the grand army; provided nurses
for the hospitals; comforted the sick; smoothed the pillows of the
dying; inscribed the last messages of lave to those far away; and marked
the resting places where the brave men fell. The labor women
accomplished, the hardships they endured, the time and strength they
sacrificed in the War that summoned three million men to arms, can never
be fully appreciated.
Indeed, we may safely say that there is scarcely a loyal woman in the
North who did not do something in aid of the cause; who did not
contribute time, labor, and money to the comfort of our soldiers and the
success of our arms. The story of the War will never be fully written if
the achievements of women are left untold. They do not figure in the
official reports; they are not gazetted for gallant deeds; the names of
thousands are unknown beyond the neighborhood where they lived, or the
hospitals where they loved to labor; yet there is no feature in our War
more creditable to us as a nation, none from its positive newness so
well worthy of record.
While the mass of women never philosophize on the principles that
underlie national existence, there were those in our late War who
understood the political significance of the struggle; the
"irrepressible conflict" between freedom and slavery, between National
and State rights. They saw that to provide lint, bandages, and supplies
for the army, while the War was not conducted on a wise policy, was to
labor in vain; and while many organizations, active, vigilant, and
self-sacrificing, were multiplied to look after the material wants of
the army, these few formed themselves into a National Loyal League, to
teach sound principles of government and to impress on the nation's
conscience that freedom for the slaves was the only way to victory.
Accustomed, as most women had been to works of charity and to the relief
of outward suffering, it was difficult to rouse their enthusiasm for an
idea, to persuade them to labor for a principle. They clamored for
practical work, something for their hands to do; for fairs and sewing
societies to raise money for soldier's families, for tableaux, readings,
theatricals--anything but conventions to discuss principles and to
circulate petitions for emancipation. They could not see that the best
service they could render the army was to suppress the Rebellion, and
that the most effective way to accomplish that was to transform the
slaves into soldiers. This Woman's Loyal League voiced the solemn
lessons of the War: Liberty to all; national protection for every
citizen under our flag; universal suffrage, and universal amnesty.
After consultation with Horace Greeley, William Lloyd Garrison, Governor
Andrews, and Robert Dale Owen, Miss Anthony and I decided to call a
meeting of women in Cooper Institute and form a Woman's Loyal League, to
advocate the immediate emancipation and enfranchisement of the Southern
slaves, as the most speedy way of ending the War, so we issued, in tract
form, and extensively circulated the following call:
"In this crisis of our country's destiny, it is the duty of every
citizen to consider the peculiar blessings of a republican form of
government, and decide what sacrifices of wealth and life are
demanded for its defense and preservation. The policy of the War,
our whole future life, depend on a clearly defined idea of the end
proposed and the immense advantages to be secured to ourselves and
all mankind by its accomplishment. No mere party or sectional cry,
no technicalities of constitutional or military law, no mottoes of
craft or policy are big enough to touch the great heart of a nation
in the midst of revolution. A grand idea--such as freedom or
justice--is needful to kindle and sustain the fires of a high
enthusiasm.
"At this hour, the best word and work of every man and woman are
imperatively demanded. To man, by common consent, are assigned the
forum, camp, and field. What is woman's legitimate work and how she
may best accomplish it, is worthy our earnest counsel one with
another. We have heard many complaints of the lack of enthusiasm,
among Northern women; but when a mother lays her son on the altar
of her country, she asks an object equal to the sacrifice. In
nursing the sick and wounded, knitting socks, scraping lint, and
making jellies the bravest and best may weary if the thoughts mount
not in faith to something beyond and above it all. Work is worship
only when a noble purpose fills the soul. Woman is equally
interested and responsible with man in the final settlement of this
problem of self-government; therefore let none stand idle
spectators now. When every hour is big with destiny, and each delay