Fiue hundred pointes of good husbandrie
There common as commoners do,
As good else to cobble a shoe. 1573 (M.) and 1577.
[4] "In Norfolk (in our Author's time) there was a considerable
Rebellion, call'd Ket's Rebellion against Inclosures, and to this
day they take the Liberty of throwing open all Enclosures out of the
Common Field, these are commonly call'd Lammas Lands, and half Year
Lands."--T.R.
[5] sheep and with swine. 1577.
[6] one. 1577.
[7] Stanzas 12-21 are not in 1577.
[8] _Query_, yarely.
64.
¶ _The description of an enuious and naughtie neighbour.[E394]
Chap._ 53.[1]
An enuious neighbour is easie to finde,
His cumbersome fetches are seldome[2] behinde.
His hatred procureth from naughtie to wurse,
His friendship like Iudas that carried the purse.[E395]
His head is a storehouse, with quarrels full fraught,
His braine is vnquiet, till all come to naught.
His memorie pregnant, old euils to recite,
His mind euer fixed each euill to requite.
His mouth full of venim, his lips out of frame,[E396]
His tongue a false witnes, his friend to defame.
His eies be promooters, some trespas to spie,
His eares be as spials,[E397] alarum to crie.
His hands be as tyrants, reuenging ech thing,
His feete at thine elbow, as serpent to sting.
His breast full of rancor, like Canker[3] to freat,
His hart like a Lion, his neighbour to eat.
His gate like a sheepebiter,[E398] fleering aside,
His looke like a coxcombe,[E399] vp puffed with pride.
His face made of brasse, like a vice in a game,
His iesture like Dauus,[E400] whom Terence doth name.
His brag as Thersites,[E401] with elbowes abrode.
His cheekes in his furie shall swell like a tode.[E402]
His colour like ashes, his cap in his eies,
His nose in the aire, his snout in the skies.
His promise to trust to as slipprie[4] as ice,
His credit much like to the chance of the dice.
His knowledge or skill is in prating[5] too much,
His companie shunned,[6] and so be all such.
His friendship is counterfait, seldome to trust,
His dooings vnluckie and euer vniust.
His fetch is to flatter, to get what he can,
His purpose once gotten, a pin[7] for thee than.
[1] This chapter precedes the Author's Life in 1577 edition.
[2] sieldome. 1614.
[3] Coprus. 1577.
[4] slipper. 1577.
[5] parting. 1577.
[6] shenned. 1577.
[7] penny. 1577.
[In the edition of 1577 the following piece is inserted here.]
64.*
_To light a candell before the Deuill._[E403]
To beard thy foes shews forth thy witt,
but helpes the matter nere a whit.
My sonne, were it not worst
to frame thy nature so,
That as thine vse is to thy friend,
likewise to greet thy foe:
Though not for hope of good,
yet for the feare of euill,
Thou maist find ease so proffering vp
a candell to the deuill.
This knowne, the surest way
thine enemies wrath to swage;
If thou canst currey fauour thus,
thou shalt be counted sage.
Of truth I tell no lye,
by proofe to well I knowe,
The stubborne want of only this
hath brought full many lowe.
And yet to speak the trouth
the Deuill is worse then naught,
That no good turne will once deserue,
yet looketh vp so haught.
Exalt him how we please,
and giue him what we can,
Yet skarcely shall we find such Deuill
a truly honest man.
But where the mighty may
of force the weake constraine,
It shal be wysely doone to bow
to voyd a farther payne,
Like as in tempest great,
where wind doth beare the stroke,
Much safer stands the bowing reede
then doth the stubborne oke.
And chiefly when of all
thy selfe art one of those
That fortune needes, will haue to dwell
fast by the Deuils nose:
Then (though against thine hart)
thy tongue thou must so charme
That tongue may say, where ere thou come
the Deuill doth no man harme.
For where as no reuenge
may stand a man in steede,
As good is then an humble speech,
as otherwise to bleede.
Like as ye see by him
that hath a shrew to wife,
As good it is to speak her faire
as still to liue in strife.
Put thou no Deuill in boote
as once did master Shorne:[E404]
Take heede as from madde bayted bull
to keepe thee fro his horne.
And where ye see the Deuill
so bold to wrest with lawe,
Make _congé_ oft, and crouch aloofe,
but come not in his clawe.
The scholer forth of schoole
may boldlier take his mind,
The fields haue eyes, the bushes eares,
false birds can fetch the wind.[E405]
The further from the gone
the safer may ye skippe,
The nerer to the carters hand
the nerer to the whippe.
The neerer to the whippe
the sooner comes the jerke,
The sooner that poore beast is strucke
the sooner doth he yerke.
Some loueth for to whippe,
to see how ierkes will smart,
In wofull taking is that horse
that nedes must drawe in cart.
Such fellow is the Deuell,
that doth euen what he list,
Yet thinketh he what ere he doth
none ought dare say, but whist.
Take therefore heed, my sonne,
and marke full well this song,
Learne thus with craft to claw the deuell,
else liue in rest not long.
65.
¶ _A sonet against a slanderous tongue._[E406]
¶ _Chap._ 54.
Doth darnell good, among the flowrie wheat?
Doo thistles good, so thick in fallow spide?
Doo taint wormes good, that lurke where ox should eat
Or sucking drones, in hiue where bees abide?
Doo hornets good, or these same biting gnats?
Foule swelling toades, what good by them is seene?
In house well deckt, what good doth gnawing rats?
Or casting mowles, among the meadowes greene?
Doth heauie newes make glad the hart of man?
Or noisome smels, what good doth that to health?
Now once for all, what good (shew who so can?)
Doo stinging[1] snakes, to this our Commonwealth?
_No more doth good a peeuish slanderous toung,
But hurts it selfe, and noies both old and young._[E407]
[1] stinking. 1577.
66.
¶ _A sonet vpon the Authors first seuen yeeres seruice.
Chap._ 55.
Seuen times hath Janus[E408] tane new yéere by hand,
Seuen times hath blustring March blowne forth his powre:
To driue out Aprils buds, by sea and land,
For minion Maie, to deck most trim with flowre.
Seuen times hath temperate Ver,[E409] like pageant plaide,
And pleasant Æstas eke hir flowers told:
Seuen times Autumnes heate hath béene delaide,[E410]
With Hyems boistrous blasts, and bitter cold.
Seuen times the thirtéene Moones[E411] haue changed hew,
Seuen times the Sunne his course hath gone about:
Seuen times ech bird hir nest hath built anew,
Since first time you to serue, I choosed out.
_Still yours am I, though thus the time hath past,
And trust to be, as[1] long as life shall last._
[1] so. 1577.
67.
Man minded for to thriue
must wisely lay to wiue.
What hap may thereby fall
here argued find ye shall.
¶ _The Authours Dialogue betweene two Bachelers, of wiuing and
thriuing by Affirmation and Obiection._[E412]
_Chap._ 56.
_Affirmation._
[1]
Frend, where we met this other day,
We heard one make his mone and say,
Good Lord, how might I thriue?
We heard an other answere him,
Then make thee handsome, trick and trim,
And lay in time to wiue.
_Obiection._
[2]
And what of that, say you to mee?
Do you your selfe thinke that to be
The best way for to thriue?
If truth were truely bolted out,[E413]
As touching thrift, I stand in dout,
If men were best to wiue.
_Affirmation._
[3]
There is no doubt, for proue I can,
I haue but seldome seene that man
Which could the way to thriue:[E414]
Vntill it was his happie lot,
To stay himselfe in some good plot,[E415]
And wisely then to wiue.
_Obiection._
[4]
And I am of an other minde,
For by no reason can I finde,
How that way I should thriue:
For where as now I spend a pennie,
I should not then be quit with mennie,
Through bondage for to wiue.
_Affirmation._
[5]
Not so, for now where thou dost spend,
Of this and that,[E416] to no good end,
Which hindereth thee to thriue:
Such vaine expences thou shouldst saue,
And daily then lay more to haue,
As others do that wiue.
_Obiection._
[6]
Why then do folke this prouerbe put,
The blacke oxe neare trod on thy fut,[E417]
If that way were to thriue?
Hereout a man may soone picke forth,
Few feeleth what a pennie is worth,
Till such time as they wiue.
_Affirmation._
[7]
It may so chaunce as thou doest say,
This lesson therefore beare away,
If thereby thou wilt thriue:
Looke ere thou leape, see ere thou go,
It may be for thy profite so,
For thee to lay to wiue.
_Obiection._
[8]
It is too much we dailie heare,
To wiue and thriue both in a yeare,[E418]
As touching now to thriue:
I know not herein what to spie,
But that there doth small profite lie,
To fansie for to wiue.
_Affirmation._
[9]
In deede the first yeare oft is such,
That fondly some bestoweth much,
A let to them to thriue:
Yet other moe may soone be founde,
Which getteth many a faire pounde,
The same day that they wiue.
_Obiection._
[10]
I graunt some getteth more that day,
Than they can easily beare away,
Nowe needes then must they thriue:
What gaineth such thinke you by that?
A little burden, you wote what,
Through fondnesse for to wiue.
_Affirmation._
[11]
Thou seemest blinde as mo[E419] haue bin,
It is not beautie bringeth in
The thing to make thee thriue:
In womankinde, see that ye do
Require of hir no gift but two,
When ere ye minde to wiue.
_Obiection._
[12]
But two, say you? I pray you than
Shew those as briefly as you can,
If that may helpe to thriue:
I weene we must conclude anon,
Of those same twaine to want the ton,
When ere we chance to wiue.
[Sidenote: Honestie and huswiferie.]
_Affirmation._
[13]
An honest huswife, trust to mee,
Be those same twaine, I say to thee,
That helpe so much to thriue:
As honestie farre passeth golde,
So huswiferie in yong and olde,
Do pleasure such as wiue.
_Obiection._
[14]
The honestie in deede I graunt,
Is one good point the wife should haunt,
To make hir husband thriue:
But now faine would I haue you show,
How should a man good huswife know,
If once he hap to wiue?
_Affirmation._
[15]
A huswife good betimes will rise,
And order things in comelie wise,
Hir minde is set to thriue:
Vpon hir distaffe she will spinne,
And with hir needle she will winne,
If such ye hap to wiue.
_Obiection._
[16]
It is not idle going about,
Nor all day pricking on a clout,
Can make a man to thriue:
Or if there be no other winning,
But that the wife gets by hir spinning,
Small thrift it is to wiue.
_Affirmation._
[17]
Some more than this yet do shee[1] shall,
Although thy stocke be verie small,
Yet will shee helpe thee thriue:
Lay thou[2] to saue, as well as she,
And then thou shalt[3] enriched be,
When such thou hapst[4] to wiue.
_Obiection._
[18]
If she were mine, I tell thee troth,
Too much to trouble hir I were loth,
For greedines to thriue:
Least some should talke, as is the speech,
The good wiues husband weares no breech,[E420]
If such I hap to wiue.
_Affirmation._
[19]
What hurts it thee what some do say,
If honestlie she take the way
To helpe thee for to thriue?
For honestie will make hir prest,
To doo the thing that shall be best,
If such ye hap to wiue.
_Obiection._
[20]
Why did _Diogenes_ say than,
To one that askt of him time whan,
Were best to wiue to thriue?
Not yet (quoth[5] he) if thou be yong,
If thou waxe old, then holde thy tong,
It is too late to wiue.[E421]
_Affirmation._
[21]
Belike he knew some shrewish wife,
Which with hir husband made such strife,
That hindered him to thriue:
Who then may blame him for that clause,