Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World
battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak.
CHAPTER V.
Several adventures that happened to the author. The execution of a
criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.
I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had
not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some of
which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into
the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me
out of it, and hold me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember,
before the dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into those
gardens, and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close
together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a
silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in
their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue,
watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook
it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as
large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit
me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my
face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my
desire, because I had given the provocation.
Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert
myself, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the
meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was
immediately, by the force of it, struck to the ground: and when I was
down, the hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if
I had been pelted with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep
on all fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the
lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot,
that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be
wondered at, because nature, in that country, observing the same
proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen
hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can assert upon
experience, having been so curious as to weigh and measure them.
But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when
my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which I
often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts,) and
having left my box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went
to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her
acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white
spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by
accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay:
the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his
mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently
on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was
carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my
clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great
kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both
his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so amazed and out of
breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to
myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time,
had returned to the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies
when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely
reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was
hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the
queen’s anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for
my reputation, that such a story should go about.
This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me
abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this
resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky
adventures, that happened in those times when I was left by myself.
Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had
not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he
would have certainly carried me away in his talons. Another time,
walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole,
through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie,
not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I
likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail, which I
happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor
England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, in
those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at
all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard’s distance, looking
for worms and other food, with as much indifference and security as if
no creature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the
confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a piece of cake
that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted
to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me,
endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their
reach; and then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or
snails, as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and
threw it with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked
him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him
in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned,
recovering himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides
of my head and body, though I held him at arm’s length, and was out of
the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go.
But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the
bird’s neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen’s command.
This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger
than an English swan.
The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments,
and desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the
pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked
from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I
was much disgusted because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell
came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the
disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of
respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to
my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same
quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural
smell was much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under
which I immediately swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate
friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom in a warm day, when I had
used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me,
although I am as little faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I
suppose his faculty of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine
was to that of this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing
justice to the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose
persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when my
nurse carried me to visit them) was, to see them use me without any
manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence: for
they would strip themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in my
presence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly before their
naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting
sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and
disgust: their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously
coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as
a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say
nothing farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they
at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to
the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above
three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant,
frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of
her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me
for not being over particular. But I was so much displeased, that I
entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not seeing that
young lady any more.
One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s governess,
came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man, who
had murdered one of that gentleman’s intimate acquaintance.
Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against
her inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: and, as for
myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity
tempted me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The
malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected for that
purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of about forty
feet long. The veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity
of blood, and so high in the air, that the great _jet d’eau_ at
Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head,
when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me
start, although I was at least half an English mile distant.
The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and took
all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I
understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little
exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered,
that I understood both very well: for although my proper employment had
been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I
was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this
could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to
a first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage
would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would
contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a
place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my
instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all its
tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was
finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap
to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water,
with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls,
or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had before contrived
another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of
three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which, being well
pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor, along the wall,
in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let
out the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could
easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own
diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought
themselves well entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I
would put up my sail, and then my business was only to steer, while the
ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some
of their pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I
showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I
had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet,
and hung it on a nail to dry.