Hamlet
Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,
What is't, but to be nothing else but mad?
But let that go.
_Queen._ (R.C.) More matter, with less art.
_Pol._ Madam, I swear I use no art at all.
That he is mad, 'tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity;
And pity 'tis, 'tis true: a foolish figure;
But farewell it, for I will use no art.
Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains
That we find out the cause of this effect,
Or, rather say, the cause of this defect,
For this effect defective comes by cause:
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus,
Perpend.[11]
I have a daughter, have, while she is mine,
Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,
Hath given me this: Now gather, and surmise.
[Reads] _To the celestial, and my soul's idol, the most beautified
Ophelia,--_[12]
That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase, _beautified_ is a vile phrase:
but you shall hear. Thus:
_In her excellent white bosom,[13] these_, &c.[14]
_Queen._ Came this from Hamlet to her?
_Pol._ Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful.--
[_Reads._]
_Doubt thou the stars are fire;_
_Doubt thou the sun doth move;_
_Doubt truth to be a liar;_
_But never doubt, I love._
_O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers;[15] I have not art to
reckon my groans: but that I love thee best, O most best,[16]
believe it. Adieu._
_Thine evermore, most dear lady, whilst this machine is to him_,[17]
Hamlet.
This, in obedience, hath my daughter shown me:
And more above,[18] hath his solicitings,[19]
As they fell out by time, by means, and place,
All given to my ear.
_King._ But how hath she
Receiv'd his love?
_Pol._ What do you think of me?
_King._ As of a man faithful and honourable.
_Pol._ I would fain prove so. But what might you think,
When I had seen this hot love on the wing
(As I perceived it, I must tell you that,
Before my daughter told me), what might you,
Or my dear majesty your queen here, think,
If I had play'd the desk or table book;[20]
Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb;[21]
Or look'd upon this love with idle sight;[22]
What might you think? No, I went round to work,[23]
And my young mistress thus did I bespeak:
_Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy sphere;
This must not be:_ and then I precepts gave her,
That she should lock herself from his resort,
Admit no messengers, receive no tokens.
Which done, she took the fruits of my advice;[24]
And he, repuls'd (a short tale to make),
Fell into sadness; thence into a weakness;
Thence to a lightness; and, by this declension,
Into the madness wherein now he raves,
And all we mourn for.
_King._ Do you think 'tis this?
_Queen._ It may be, very likely.
_Pol._ Hath there been such a time (I'd fain know that,)
That I have positively said, _'tis so_,
When it proved otherwise?
_King._ Not that I know.
_Pol._ Take this from this, if it be otherwise:
[_Pointing to his head and shoulder._]
If circumstances lead me, I will find
Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed
Within the centre.
_King._ How may we try it further?
_Pol._ You know, sometimes he walks for hours together
Here in the lobby.
_Queen._ So he does, indeed.
_Pol._ At such a time I'll loose my daughter to him:
Mark the encounter: if he love her not,
And be not from his reason fallen thereon,
Let me be no assistant for a state,
But keep a farm, and carters.
_King._ We will try it.
_Queen._ But, look, where sadly the poor wretch comes reading.
_Pol._ Away, I do beseech you both, away:
I'll board him presently.[25]
[_Exeunt_ KING _and_ QUEEN, R.H.]
_Enter_ HAMLET, _reading_ (L.C.)
_Pol._ How does my good lord Hamlet?
_Ham._ (C.) Excellent well.
_Pol._ (R.) Do you know me, my lord?
_Ham._ Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.[26]
_Pol._ Not I, my lord.
_Ham._ Then I would you were so honest a man.
_Pol._ Honest, my lord!
_Ham._ Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man
picked out of ten thousand.
_Pol._ That's very true, my lord.
_Ham._ For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a god,
kissing carrion,----Have you a daughter?[27]
_Pol._ I have, my lord.
_Ham._ Let her not walk i'the sun: conception is a blessing; but as
your daughter may conceive,--friend, look to't, look to't, look to't.
[_Goes up stage._]
_Pol._ (_Aside._) Still harping on my daughter:--yet he knew me not
at first; he said I was a fishmonger.
[_Crosses to_ L.]
I'll speak to him again.--What do you read, my lord?
_Ham._ (C.) Words, words, words.
_Pol._ (L.) What is the matter, my lord?
_Ham._ Between who?
_Pol._ I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.
_Ham._ Slanders, sir: for the satirical rogue[28] says here that old
men have grey beards; that their faces are wrinkled; their eyes
purging thick amber and plum-tree gum; and that they have a plentiful
lack of wit, together with most weak hams: All of which, sir, though
I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to
have it thus set down; for yourself, sir, shall be as old as I am,
if, like a crab, you could go backward.
[_Crosses_, L.]
_Pol._ (_Aside._) Though this be madness, yet there's method in it.
Will you walk out of the air, my lord?
_Ham._ Into my grave?
[_Crosses_ R.]
_Pol._ (L.) Indeed, that is out o' the air.--How pregnant sometimes
his replies[29] are! a happiness that often madness hits on, which
reason and sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will
leave him, and suddenly contrive the means of meeting between him and
my daughter.--My honourable lord, I will most humbly take my leave of
you.
_Ham._ (C.) You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will more
willingly part withall, except my life, except my life, except my
life.
_Pol._ Fare you well, my lord.
[_Exit_ POLONIUS, L.H.]
_Ham._ These tedious old fools!
_Pol._ (_Without._) You go to seek the lord Hamlet; there he is.
_Ros._ Heaven save you, sir!
_Enter_ ROSENCRANTZ _and_ GUILDENSTERN (L.H.)
_Guil._ My honor'd lord!--
_Ros._ My most dear lord!--
_Ham._ My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenstern?
[_Crosses to_ ROSENCRANTZ.]
Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do ye both? What news?
_Ros._ (L.) None, my lord, but that the world's grown honest.
_Ham._ (C.) Then is dooms-day near: but your news is not true. In the
beaten way of friendship,[30] what make you at Elsinore?
_Ros._ To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.
_Ham._ Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I thank you.
Were you not sent for? Is it your own inclining? Is it a free
visitation? Come, come, deal justly with me: come, come; nay, speak.
_Guil._ (R.) What should we say, my lord?
_Ham._ Any thing--but to the purpose. You were sent for; and there is
a kind of confession in your looks, which your modesties have not
craft enough to colour: I know the good king and queen have sent for
you.
_Ros._ To what end, my lord?
_Ham._ That you must teach me. But let me conjure you, by the rights
of our fellowship, [_taking their hands_,] by the consonancy of our
youth,[31] by the obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what
more dear a better proposer[32] could charge you withal, be even[33]
and direct with me, whether you were sent for, or no?
_Ros._ What say you?
[_To_ GUILDENSTERN.]
_Ham._ Nay, then, I have an eye of you.[34]
[_Crosses_ R.]
[_Aside._]
--if you love me, hold not off.
_Guil._ My lord, we were sent for.
_Ham._ (_Returning_ C.) I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation
prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king and queen moult
no feather.[35] I have of late (but wherefore I know not) lost all my
mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and, indeed, it goes so
heavily with my disposition, that this goodly frame, the earth, seems
to me a steril promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look
you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted
with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul
and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is man!
How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving
how express[36] and admirable! in action how like an angel! in
apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon[37]
of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man
delights not me,--nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem
to say so.
_Ros._ My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.
_Ham._ Why did you laugh, then, when I said, _Man delights not me?_
_Ros._ To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what lenten
entertainment[38] the players shall receive from you: we coted them
on the way;[39] and hither are they coming, to offer you service.
_Ham._ He that plays the king shall be welcome, his majesty shall
have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and
target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end
his part in peace;[40] and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the
blank verse shall halt for't.[41]--What players are they?
_Ros._ Even those you were wont to take such delight in, the
tragedians of the city.
_Ham._ How chances it, they travel?[42] their residence, both in
reputation and profit, was better both ways. Do they hold the same
estimation they did when I was in the city? Are they so followed?
_Ros._ No, indeed, they are not.
_Ham._ It is not very strange; for my uncle is king of Denmark,[43]
and those that would make mouths at him[44] while my father lived,
give twenty, forty, fifty, an hundred ducats a-piece for his picture
in little.[45] There is something in this more than natural, if
philosophy could find it out.
[_Flourish of trumpets without._]
_Guil._ There are the players.
_Ham._ Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands. You are
welcome: but my uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.
_Guil._ In what, my dear lord?
_Ham._ I am but mad north-north west: when the wind is southerly I
know a hawk from a hern-shaw.[46]
[_Crosses_ R.]
_Pol._ (_Without_, L.H.) Well be with you, gentlemen!
_Ham._ (_Crosses_ C.) Hark you, Guildenstern;--and Rosencrantz: that
great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling-clouts.
_Ros._ (R.) Haply he's the second time come to them; for they say an
old man is twice a child.
_Ham._ I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players; mark
it.--You say right, sir: o'Monday morning; 'twas then, indeed.
_Enter_ POLONIUS (L.H.)
_Pol._ My lord, I have news to tell you.
_Ham._ My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor in
Rome,----
_Pol._ The actors are come hither, my lord.
_Ham._ Buz, buz![47]
_Pol._ Upon my honour,----
_Ham._ Then came each actor on his ass.[48]
_Pol._ The best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy,
history, pastoral, pastorical-comical, historical-pastoral, scene
indivisible, or poem unlimited: Seneca cannot be too heavy, nor
Plautus too light.[49] For the law of writ and the liberty, these are
the only men.[50]
_Ham._ _O, Jephthah, judge of Israel_,--what a treasure hadst thou!
_Pol._ What a treasure had he, my lord?
_Ham._ Why,--_One fair daughter, and no more,
The which he loved passing well._
_Pol._ Still harping on my daughter.
[_Aside._]
_Ham._ Am I not i'the right, old Jephthah?
_Pol._ If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter that I
love passing well.
_Ham._ Nay, that follows not.