History of Tom Jones, a Foundling
short enquiry, was informed that her lady, with whom he was very
particularly acquainted, was above. This information he had no sooner
received than he addressed himself to the landlord, pacified him, and
sent him upstairs with compliments rather civiller than those which
were delivered.
It may perhaps be wondered at that the waiting-woman herself was not
the messenger employed on this occasion; but we are sorry to say she
was not at present qualified for that, or indeed for any other office.
The rum (for so the landlord chose to call the distillation from malt)
had basely taken the advantage of the fatigue which the poor woman had
undergone, and had made terrible depredations on her noble faculties,
at a time when they were very unable to resist the attack.
We shall not describe this tragical scene too fully; but we thought
ourselves obliged, by that historic integrity which we profess,
shortly to hint a matter which we would otherwise have been glad to
have spared. Many historians, indeed, for want of this integrity, or
of diligence, to say no worse, often leave the reader to find out
these little circumstances in the dark, and sometimes to his great
confusion and perplexity.
Sophia was very soon eased of her causeless fright by the entry of the
noble peer, who was not only an intimate acquaintance of Mrs
Fitzpatrick, but in reality a very particular friend of that lady. To
say truth, it was by his assistance that she had been enabled to
escape from her husband; for this nobleman had the same gallant
disposition with those renowned knights of whom we read in heroic
story, and had delivered many an imprisoned nymph from durance. He was
indeed as bitter an enemy to the savage authority too often exercised
by husbands and fathers, over the young and lovely of the other sex,
as ever knight-errant was to the barbarous power of enchanters; nay,
to say truth, I have often suspected that those very enchanters with
which romance everywhere abounds were in reality no other than the
husbands of those days; and matrimony itself was, perhaps, the
enchanted castle in which the nymphs were said to be confined.
This nobleman had an estate in the neighbourhood of Fitzpatrick, and
had been for some time acquainted with the lady. No sooner, therefore,
did he hear of her confinement, than he earnestly applied himself to
procure her liberty; which he presently effected, not by storming the
castle, according to the example of antient heroes, but by corrupting
the governor, in conformity with the modern art of war, in which craft
is held to be preferable to valour, and gold is found to be more
irresistible than either lead or steel.
This circumstance, however, as the lady did not think it material
enough to relate to her friend, we would not at that time impart it to
the reader. We rather chose to leave him a while under a supposition
that she had found, or coined, or by some very extraordinary, perhaps
supernatural means, had possessed herself of the money with which she
had bribed her keeper, than to interrupt her narrative by giving a
hint of what seemed to her of too little importance to be mentioned.
The peer, after a short conversation, could not forbear expressing
some surprize at meeting the lady in that place; nor could he refrain
from telling her he imagined she had been gone to Bath. Mrs
Fitzpatrick very freely answered, “That she had been prevented in her
purpose by the arrival of a person she need not mention. In short,”
says she, “I was overtaken by my husband (for I need not affect to
conceal what the world knows too well already). I had the good fortune
to escape in a most surprizing manner, and am now going to London with
this young lady, who is a near relation of mine, and who hath escaped
from as great a tyrant as my own.”
His lordship, concluding that this tyrant was likewise a husband, made
a speech full of compliments to both the ladies, and as full of
invectives against his own sex; nor indeed did he avoid some oblique
glances at the matrimonial institution itself, and at the unjust
powers given by it to man over the more sensible and more meritorious
part of the species. He ended his oration with an offer of his
protection, and of his coach and six, which was instantly accepted by
Mrs Fitzpatrick, and at last, upon her persuasions, by Sophia.
Matters being thus adjusted, his lordship took his leave, and the
ladies retired to rest, where Mrs Fitzpatrick entertained her cousin
with many high encomiums on the character of the noble peer, and
enlarged very particularly on his great fondness for his wife; saying,
she believed he was almost the only person of high rank who was
entirely constant to the marriage bed. “Indeed,” added she, “my dear
Sophy, that is a very rare virtue amongst men of condition. Never
expect it when you marry; for, believe me, if you do, you will
certainly be deceived.”
A gentle sigh stole from Sophia at these words, which perhaps
contributed to form a dream of no very pleasant kind; but, as she
never revealed this dream to any one, so the reader cannot expect to
see it related here.
Chapter ix.
The morning introduced in some pretty writing. A stagecoach. The
civility of chambermaids. The heroic temper of Sophia. Her generosity.
The return to it. The departure of the company, and their arrival at
London; with some remarks for the use of travellers.
Those members of society who are born to furnish the blessings of life
now began to light their candles, in order to pursue their daily
labours for the use of those who are born to enjoy these blessings.
The sturdy hind now attends the levee of his fellow-labourer the ox;
the cunning artificer, the diligent mechanic, spring from their hard
mattress; and now the bonny housemaid begins to repair the disordered
drum-room, while the riotous authors of that disorder, in broken
interrupted slumbers, tumble and toss, as if the hardness of down
disquieted their repose.
In simple phrase, the clock had no sooner struck seven than the ladies
were ready for their journey; and, at their desire, his lordship and
his equipage were prepared to attend them.
And now a matter of some difficulty arose; and this was how his
lordship himself should be conveyed; for though in stage-coaches,
where passengers are properly considered as so much luggage, the
ingenious coachman stows half a dozen with perfect ease into the place
of four; for well he contrives that the fat hostess, or well-fed
alderman, may take up no more room than the slim miss, or taper
master; it being the nature of guts, when well squeezed, to give way,
and to lie in a narrow compass; yet in these vehicles, which are
called, for distinction's sake, gentlemen's coaches, though they are
often larger than the others, this method of packing is never
attempted.
His lordship would have put a short end to the difficulty, by very
gallantly desiring to mount his horse; but Mrs Fitzpatrick would by no
means consent to it. It was therefore concluded that the Abigails
should, by turns, relieve each other on one of his lordship's horses,
which was presently equipped with a side-saddle for that purpose.
Everything being settled at the inn, the ladies discharged their
former guides, and Sophia made a present to the landlord, partly to
repair the bruise which he had received under herself, and partly on
account of what he had suffered under the hands of her enraged
waiting-woman. And now Sophia first discovered a loss which gave her
some uneasiness; and this was of the hundred-pound bank-bill which her
father had given her at their last meeting; and which, within a very
inconsiderable trifle, was all the treasure she was at present worth.
She searched everywhere, and shook and tumbled all her things to no
purpose, the bill was not to be found: and she was at last fully
persuaded that she had lost it from her pocket when she had the
misfortune of tumbling from her horse in the dark lane, as before
recorded: a fact that seemed the more probable, as she now recollected
some discomposure in her pockets which had happened at that time, and
the great difficulty with which she had drawn forth her handkerchief
the very instant before her fall, in order to relieve the distress of
Mrs Fitzpatrick.
Misfortunes of this kind, whatever inconveniencies they may be
attended with, are incapable of subduing a mind in which there is any
strength, without the assistance of avarice. Sophia, therefore, though
nothing could be worse timed than this accident at such a season,
immediately got the better of her concern, and, with her wonted
serenity and cheerfulness of countenance, returned to her company. His
lordship conducted the ladies into the vehicle, as he did likewise Mrs
Honour, who, after many civilities, and more dear madams, at last
yielded to the well-bred importunities of her sister Abigail, and
submitted to be complimented with the first ride in the coach; in
which indeed she would afterwards have been contented to have pursued
her whole journey, had not her mistress, after several fruitless
intimations, at length forced her to take her turn on horseback.
The coach, now having received its company, began to move forwards,
attended by many servants, and led by two captains, who had before
rode with his lordship, and who would have been dismissed from the
vehicle upon a much less worthy occasion than was this of
accommodating two ladies. In this they acted only as gentlemen; but
they were ready at any time to have performed the office of a footman,
or indeed would have condescended lower, for the honour of his
lordship's company, and for the convenience of his table.
My landlord was so pleased with the present he had received from
Sophia, that he rather rejoiced in than regretted his bruise or his
scratches. The reader will perhaps be curious to know the _quantum_ of
this present; but we cannot satisfy his curiosity. Whatever it was, it
satisfied the landlord for his bodily hurt; but he lamented he had not
known before how little the lady valued her money; “For to be sure,”
says he, “one might have charged every article double, and she would
have made no cavil at the reckoning.”
His wife, however, was far from drawing this conclusion; whether she
really felt any injury done to her husband more than he did himself, I
will not say: certain it is, she was much less satisfied with the
generosity of Sophia. “Indeed,” cries she, “my dear, the lady knows
better how to dispose of her money than you imagine. She might very
well think we should not put up such a business without some
satisfaction, and the law would have cost her an infinite deal more
than this poor little matter, which I wonder you would take.” “You are
always so bloodily wise,” quoth the husband: “it would have cost her
more, would it? dost fancy I don't know that as well as thee? but
would any of that more, or so much, have come into our pockets?
Indeed, if son Tom the lawyer had been alive, I could have been glad
to have put such a pretty business into his hands. He would have got a
good picking out of it; but I have no relation now who is a lawyer,
and why should I go to law for the benefit of strangers?” “Nay, to be
sure,” answered she, “you must know best.” “I believe I do,” replied
he. “I fancy, when money is to be got, I can smell it out as well as
another. Everybody, let me tell you, would not have talked people out
of this. Mind that, I say; everybody would not have cajoled this out
of her, mind that.” The wife then joined in the applause of her
husband's sagacity; and thus ended the short dialogue between them on
this occasion.
We will therefore take our leave of these good people, and attend his
lordship and his fair companions, who made such good expedition that