I am a woman
Laura, apparently asleep. Nix was snuggled into the ditch between the
back of Beebo and the back of the couch.
Beebo stirred slightly, but she didn’t open her eyes. “Beebo,” Laura
whispered, dropping to her knees and supporting herself against the
couch with her hands. “Beebo?” she whispered again, a little louder. And
then, sensing that Beebo had heard her she bent down and kissed her
cheek, her hands reaching for her. Beebo was suddenly completely roused,
coming up on her elbow and then falling back and pulling Laura with her.
“Laura?” she said huskily. “Are you all right?” And then she felt
Laura’s lips on her face again and a shock of passion gripped her. “Oh,
God—Oh, baby,” she said, and her arms went around Laura hard.
“Hold me,” Laura begged, clinging to her. “Oh, Beebo, hold me.”
Beebo rolled off the couch onto Laura and the abrupt weight of her body
fired Laura into a frenzy. They rolled over each other on the floor,
pressing each other tight, almost as if they wanted to fuse their
bodies, and kissed each other wildly.
Laura felt such a wave of passion come up in her that it almost
smothered her. She thought she couldn’t stand it. And then she didn’t
think at all. She only clung to Beebo, half tearing her pajamas off her
back, groaning wordlessly, almost sobbing. Her hands explored, caressed,
felt Beebo all over, while her own body responded with violent
spasms—joyous, crazy, deep as her soul. She could no more have prevented
her response than she could the tyrannic need that drove her to find it.
She felt Beebo’s tongue slip into her mouth and Beebo’s firm arms
squeezing her and she went half out of her mind with it. Her hands were
in Beebo’s hair, tickling her ears, slipping down her back, over her
hips and thighs. Her body heaved against Beebo’s in a lovely mad duet.
She felt like a column of fire, all heat and light, impossibly sensual,
impossibly sexual. She was all feeling, warm and melting, strong and
sweet.
* * * * *
It was a long time before either of them came to their senses. They had
fallen half asleep when it was over, still lying on the floor, where
Nix, after some trepidation, came to join them. When Laura opened her
eyes the gray dawn had replaced the white moonlight. She was looking out
the window at a mass of telephone and electric wires. She gazed slowly
downward until she found Beebo’s face. Beebo was awake, watching her—no
telling for how long. She smiled slightly, frowning at the same time.
But she didn’t say anything and neither did Laura. They only pulled
closer together, until their lips touched. Beebo began to kiss Laura
over and over, little soft teasing kisses that kept out of the way of
passion, out of the way of Laura’s own kisses as they searched for
Beebo’s lips. Until it was suddenly imperative that they kiss each other
right. Laura tried feebly to stop it, but she quickly surrendered. When
Beebo relented a little it was Laura who pulled her back, until Beebo
was suddenly crazy for her again.
“No, no, no, no,” Laura murmured, but she had asked for it. A year and a
half of abstinence was too much for her. At that moment she was in
bondage to her body. She gave in in spite of herself, rolling over on
Beebo, her fine hair falling over Beebo’s breasts in a pale glimmering
shower, soft and cool and bringing up the fire in Beebo again.
Once again they rested, half sleeping, turning now and then to feel each
other, reassure themselves that the other was still there, still
responsive. Now and then Beebo pushed Nix off Laura, or out from between
them, where he was anxious to make himself a nest.
It was Saturday afternoon before they could drag themselves off the
floor. It was Laura who pulled herself to her knees first by the aid of
a handy chair, and squinted at the bright daylight. For a few moments
she remained there, swaying slightly, trying to think straight and not
succeeding. She felt Beebo’s hand brush across her stomach and looked
down at her. Beebo smiled a little.
An elusive feeling of shame slipped through Laura, disappeared, came
back again, faded, came back. It seemed uncertain whether or not to
stay. She swallowed experimentally, looking at Beebo. After a minute
Beebo said, “Who’s Beth?”
“Beth?” Laura was startled.
“Um-hm. She the blonde?”
“No. That’s Marcie.”
“Well, baby, seems to me like it’s Beth you’re after, not Marcie.”
Laura frowned at her. “I haven’t seen Beth for almost a year. She’s
married now. It’s all over.”
“For her, maybe.”
“I won’t discuss it,” she said haughtily, getting up and walking away
from her, while Beebo lay on the floor admiring her body, her head
propped comfortably on her hands. “It happened long ago and I’ve
forgotten it.”
“Then how come you called me Beth all night?”
Laura gasped, turning to look at her, and then her face went pink.
“I—I’m sorry, Beebo,” she said. “I won’t do it again.”
“Don’t count on it.”
Laura stamped her foot. “Damn you, Beebo!” she said. “Don’t talk to me
as if I were an irresponsible child!”
Beebo laughed, rolling over and nearly crushing Nix, who reacted by
licking her frantically and wagging his tail. Beebo squashed him in a
hug, still laughing. Laura turned on her heel to leave the room, looking
back quickly to grab her slip, and went into the bedroom, slamming the
door. Within seconds it flew open again and Beebo leaned against the
jamb, smiling at her. She sauntered into the room.
“Now, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself last night, Little
Bo-peep,” she said.
Laura ignored her, moving speedily, suddenly embarrassed to be naked. In
the heat of passion it was glorious, but in the morning, in the gray
light, in the chill and ache of waking up, she hated it. Her own bare
flesh seemed out of place. Not so with Beebo, who sprawled on the bed on
top of the underwear Laura wanted to put on.
“Did you?” said Beebo. “Enjoy yourself?”
“Get up, Beebo, I want to get dressed.”
“After all, it was your idea, baby.”
“Don’t throw _that_ in my face!” she exclaimed angrily, ashamed to
remember it.
“Why not? It’s true. Besides I’m not throwing it in your face, I’m just
saying it.”
Laura turned away from her, unbearably conscious of her own slim behind,
her dimpled rump, and her long limbs. She yearned to be shrouded in
burlap. “Beebo, I—I couldn’t help myself last night.” She worked to
control her voice, to be civilized about it. “I needed—I mean—it had
been so long.”
“Since Beth?”
Laura fought down a sudden impulse to strangle her. “I was a fool,” she
said, and her voice trembled. “A fool with my roommate and now with you.
It got so I couldn’t stand it at home. It got intolerable.”
“So you came down here. And I was a nice convenient safety-valve.”
“I didn’t mean that!” she flared.
“Doesn’t matter what you mean, baby. It’s a fact. Here you were,
desperate. And here was I, ready and willing. You knew I wouldn’t turn
you down.”
Laura’s face began to burn. She had a wild idea that her back was
blushing with her cheeks.
“What would you have done if I _had_ turned you down, Laura?” Beebo
spoke softly, insinuatingly, teasing Laura, enjoying herself.
But Laura was too humiliated to tease back. “I don’t know,” she
exclaimed miserably. “I don’t know what I _could_ have done.” And she
covered her face with her hands.
“I’ll tell you, then. You’d have begged me. You’d have gotten down on
your knees and begged me. Sometime you will, too. Wait and see.”
Laura whirled toward her, insulted. “That’s enough!” she said harshly.
She pulled her underthings forcibly from under Beebo, but Beebo caught
the shoulder strap of her brassiere and hung on to it with both hands,
her heels braced against the floor, laughing like a beautiful savage
while Laura yanked furiously at it.
“You’re going to get about half,” she said. “If you’re lucky. I’ll get
the other half. Half isn’t going to hold much of you up, baby.”
Laura let go suddenly, and Beebo fell back on the bed, grinning at her.
“Laura hates me,” she said. “Laura hates me.” She said it slowly,
singsong, daring Laura to answer her.
Laura glared at her, defiant and fuming. “You’re an animal!” she hissed
at her.
“Sure.” Beebo chuckled. “Ask Jack. That’s his favorite word. We’re all
animals.”
“You’re nothing but a dirty animal!”
“What were you last night, Miss Prim? You were panting at me like a sow
in rutting season.”
Laura’s eyes went wide with fury. She grabbed the nearest thing—a
hairbrush—and flung it violently at Beebo. Beebo ducked, laughing again
at her young victim, and Laura turned and fled into the bathroom. She
slammed the door so hard it bounced open and she had to shut it again.
With frantic fingers she tried to turn the lock, but Beebo was already
pushing on the other side. Laura heaved against it, but Beebo got it
open and she fell back against the wall, suddenly frightened.
“Don’t touch me!” she spat at her.
Beebo smiled. “Why not? You didn’t mind last night. I touched you all
over. Did I miss anything?”
Laura shrank from her. “Let me go, Beebo.”
“Let you go? I’m not even touching you.”
“I want to leave. I want to get out of here.” Laura tried to push past
her but Beebo caught her, her strong hands pressing painfully into
Laura’s shoulders, and threw her back against the wall.
“You’re not going anywhere, Bo-peep,” she said. And began to kiss her.
Laura fought her, half sobbing, groaning, furious. Beebo’s lips were all
over her face, her throat, her breasts, and she took no notice of
Laura’s blows and her sharp nails. Laura grabbed handfuls of her hair,
wanting to tear it out, but Beebo pulled her close, panting against her,
her eyes hypnotically close to Laura’s. And Laura felt her knees go
weak.
“No,” she whispered. “Oh, God no. Oh, Beebo.” Her hands caressed Beebo’s
hair, her lips parted beneath Beebo’s. All the lonely months of denial
burst like firecrackers between her legs. Once it had started her whole
body begged for release. It betrayed her. She clung sweating and heaving
to Beebo. They were both surprised at the strength and insistence of
their feelings. They had felt the attraction from the first, but they
had been unprepared for the crescendo of emotion that followed.
It was a long time before either of them heard the phone ringing.
Finally Beebo stood up, looking down at Laura, watching her. Laura
turned her face away, pulling her knees up and feeling the tears come.
Beebo knelt beside her then, the hardness gone from her face.
“Don’t cry, baby,” she said, and kissed her gently. “Laura, don’t cry. I
know you don’t want to make love to me, I know you _have_ to. Damn that
phone! It’s not your fault. Laura, baby, you make beautiful love. God
grant me a passionate girl like you just once in a while and I’ll die
happy.”
“Please don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me.” She was overwhelmed with
shame.
“I have to. I can’t help myself any more than you can. I had no idea
you’d be like this—Jesus, so hot! You look so cool, so damn far above
the rest of us. But you’re not, poor baby. Better than some of us,
maybe, but not above us.”
Laura turned her face to the wall. “Answer the phone,” she said.
Beebo left her then and went into the living room. Laura could hear her
voice when she answered.
“Hello?” she said. “How are you, doll? Fine. Laura’s fine. No, I didn’t
rape her. She raped me.” Laura sat straight up at this, her face
flaming. Beebo was laughing. “Tell her what? It’s all fixed up? You mean
I can send her home to Marcie?” Her voice became heavily sarcastic.
“Well, isn’t that too sweet for words. Okay, Jack, I’ll tell her. You
what?... With who?... Oh, Terry! Yeah, I’ve seen him. You got a live one
there, boy. Hang on to him, he’s a doll ... Okay, don’t mention it. It’s