In Praise of Folly
against those, who, at the instigation of the devil, and not having the
fear of God before their eyes, do feloniously and maliciously attempt to
lessen and impair St. Peter's patrimony: and though that apostle tells
our Saviour in the gospel, in the name of all the other disciples, we
have left all, and followed you, yet they challenge as his inheritance,
fields, towns, treasures, and large dominions; for the defending
whereof, inflamed with a holy zeal, they fight with fire and sword,
to the great loss and effusion of Christian blood, thinking they are
apostolical maintainers of Christ's spouse, the church, when they have
murdered all such as they call her enemies; though indeed the church has
no enemies more bloody and tyrannical than such impious popes, who give
dispensations for the not preaching of Christ; evacuate the main effect
and design of our redemption by their pecuniary bribes and sales;
adulterate the gospel by their forced interpretations, and undermining
traditions; and lastly, by their lusts and wickedness grieve the Holy
Spirit, and make their Saviour's wounds to bleed anew.
Farther, when the Christian church has been all along first planted,
then confirmed, and since established by the blood of her martyrs, as if
Christ her head would be wanting in the same methods still of protecting
her, they invert the order, and propagate their religion now by arms
and violence, which was wont formerly to be done only with patience
and sufferings. And though war be so brutish, as that it becomes beasts
rather than men; so extravagant, that the poets feigned it an effect of
the furies; so licentious, that it stops the course of all justice and
honesty, so desperate, that it is best waged by ruffians and banditti,
and so unchristian, that it is contrary to the express commands of the
gospel; yet maugre all this, peace is too quiet, too inactive, and they
must be engaged in the boisterousness of war. Among which undertaking
popes, you shall have some so old that they can scarce creep, and yet
they will put on a young, brisk resolution, will resolve to stick at
no pains, to spare no cost, nor to waive any inconvenience, so they may
involve laws, religion, peace, and all other concerns, whether sacred or
civil, in unappeasable tumults and distractions. And yet some of their
learned fawning courtiers will interpret this notorious madness for
zeal, and piety, and fortitude, having found out the way how a man may
draw his sword, and sheathe it in his brother's bowels, and yet not
offend against the duty of the second table, whereby we are obliged
to love our neighbours as ourselves. It is yet uncertain whether these
Romish fathers have taken example from, or given precedent to, such
other German bishops, who omitting their ecclesiastical habit, and other
ceremonies, appear openly armed cap-a-pie, like so many champions and
warriors, thinking no doubt that they come short of the duty of their
function, if they die in any other place than the open field, fighting
the battles of the Lord. The inferior clergy, deeming it unmannerly not
to conform to their patrons and diocesans, devoutly tug and fight for
their tithes with syllogisms and arguments, as fiercely as with swords,
sticks, stones, or anything that came next to hand. When they read the
rabbies, fathers, or other ancient writings, how quick-sighted are they
in spying out any sentences, that they may frighten the people with, and
make them believe that more than the tenth is due, passing by whatever
they meet with in the same authors that minds them of the duty and
difficulty of their own office. They never consider that their shaven
crown is a token that they should pare off and cut away all the
superfluous lusts of this world, and give themselves wholly to divine
meditation; but instead of this, our bald-pated priests think they have
done enough, if they do but mumble over such a fardel of prayers; which
it is a wonder if God should hear or understand, when they whisper them
so softly, and in so unknown a language, which they can scarce hear or
understand themselves. This they have in common with other mechanics,
that they are most subtle in the craft of getting money, and wonderfully
skilled in their respective dues of tithes, offerings, perquisites, &c.
Thus they are all content to reap the profit, but as to the burden, that
they toss as a ball from one hand to another, and assign it over to
any they can get or hire: for as secular princes have their judges and
subordinate ministers to act in their name, and supply their stead; so
ecclesiastical governors have their deputies, vicars, and curates, nay,
many times turn over the whole care of religion to the laity. The laity,
supposing they have nothing to do with the church (as if their baptismal
vow did not initiate them members of it), make it over to the priests;
of the priests again, those that are secular, thinking their tithe
implies them to be a little too profane, assign this task over to the
regulars, the regulars to the monks, the monks bandy it from one order
to another, till it light upon the mendicants; they lay it upon the
Carthusians, which order alone keeps honesty and piety among them, but
really keep them so close that no body ever yet could see them. Thus the
Popes thrusting only their sickle into the harvest of profit, leave all
the other toil of spiritual husbandry to the bishops, the bishops bestow
it upon the pastors, the pastors on their curates, and the curates
commit it to the mendicants, who return it again to such as well know
how to make good advantage of the flock, by the benefit of their fleece.
But I would not be thought purposely to expose the weaknesses of popes
and priests, lest I should seem to recede from my title, and make a
satire instead of a panegyric: nor let anyone imagine that I reflect on
good princes, by commending of bad ones: I did this only in brief, to
shew that there is no one particular person can lead a comfortable life,
except he be entered of my society, and retain me for his friend. Nor
indeed can it be otherwise, since fortune, that empress of the world, is
so much in league and amity with me, that to wise men she is always
stingy, and sparing of her gifts, but is profusely liberal and lavish to
fools. Thus Timotheus, the Athenian commander, in all his expeditions,
was a mirror of good luck, because he was a little underwitted; from him
was occasioned the Grecian proverb, 'H _evdovtos kvptos aipel_, _The net
fills, though the fisherman sleeps_; there is also another favourable
proverb, _yhavf itttatai_, _The owl flies_ an omen of success. But
against wise men are pointed these ill-aboding proverbs, '_Ev tetpadi.
yewnoevtas, Born under a bad planet_; equum habet seianum, _He cannot
ride the fore-horse_; aurum tholosanum, _Ill-gotten goods will never
prosper_; and more to the same purpose. But I forbear from any farther
proverbializing, lest I should be thought to have rifled my Erasmus's
adages. To return, therefore, fortune we find still favouring the blunt,
and flushing the forward; strokes and smoothes up fools, crowning all
their undertakings with success; but wisdom makes her followers bashful,
sneaking, and timorous, and therefore you see that they are commonly
reduced to hard shifts, must grapple with poverty, cold and hunger, must
lie recluse, despised, and unregarded, while fools roll in money, are
advanced to dignities and offices, and in a word, have the whole world
at command. If any one think it happy to be a favourite at court, and to
manage the disposal of places and preferments, alas, this happiness is
so far from being attainable by wisdom, that the very suspicion of it
would put a stop to all advancement Has any man a mind to raise himself
a good estate? Alas what dealer in the world would ever get a farthing,
if he be so wise as to scruple at perjury, blush at a lie, or stick at
any fraud and over-reaching.
Farther, does any one appear a candidate for any ecclesiastical dignity?
Why, an ass, or a plough-jobber, shall sooner gain it than a wise man.
Again, are you in love with any handsome lady? Alas, women-kind are so
addicted to folly, that they will not at all listen to the courtship of
a wise suitor. Finally, wherever there is any preparation made for mirth
and jollity, all wise men are sure to be excluded the company, lest they
should stint the joy, and damp the frolic In a word, to what side soever
we turn ourselves, to popes, princes, judges, magistrates, friends,
enemies, rich or poor, all their concerns are managed by money, which
because it is undervalued by wise men, therefore, in revenge to be sure,
it never comes at them.
But now, though my praise and commendation might well be endless, yet it
is requisite I should put some period to my speech. I'll therefore
draw toward an end, when I have first confirmed what I have said by
the authority of several authors. Which by way of farther proof I shall
insist upon, partly, that I may not be thought to have said more in my
own behalf than what will be justified by others; and partly, that the
lawyers may not check me for citing no precedents nor allegations. To
imitate them therefore I will produce some reports and authorities,
though perhaps like theirs too, they are nothing to the purpose.
First then, it is confessed almost to a proverb, that the art of
dissembling is a very necessary accomplishment; and therefore it is a
common verse among school-boys:--
To feign the fool when fit occasions rise,
Argues the being more completely wise.
It is easy therefore to collect how great a value ought to be put upon
real folly, when the very shadow, and bare imitation of it, is so much
esteemed. Horace, who in his episdes thus styles himself:--
My sleek-skinn'd corpse as smooth as if I lie
'Mong th' fatted swine of Epicurus's sty.
This poet (I say) gives this advice in one of his odes:--
Short Folly with your counsels mix.
The epithet of short, it is true, is a little improper. The same poet
again has this passage elsewhere:--
Well-timed Folly has a sweet relish.
And in another place:--
I'd rather much be censured for a fool,
Than feel the lash and smart of wisdom' s school.
Homer praises Telemachus as much as any one of his heroes, and yet he
gives him the epithet of Nuttios, _Silly_: and the Grecians generally
use the same word to express children, as a token of their innocence.
And what is the argument of all Homer's Iliads, but only, as Horace
observes:--
They kings and subjects dotages contain?
How positive also is Tully's commendation that all places are filled
with fools? Now every excellence being to be measured by its extent, the
goodness of folly must be of as large compass as those universal places
she reaches to. But perhaps christians may slight the authority of a
heathen. I could therefore, if I pleased, back and confirm the truth
hereof by the citations of several texts of scripture; though herein.
it were perhaps my duty to beg leave of the divines, that I might so far
intrench upon their prerogative. Supposing a grant, the task seems so
difficult as to require the invocation of some aid and assistance; yet
because it is unreasonable to put the muses to the trouble and expense
of so tedious a journey, especially since the business is out of
their sphere, I shall choose rather (while I am acting the divine, and
venturing in their polemic difficulties), to wish myself for such time
animated with Scotus, his bristling and prickly soul, which I would not
care how afterwards it returned to his body, though for refinement it