Letters of John Keats to His Family and Friends
On the whole however this is a subject that I cannot express myself
upon--I speculate upon it frequently; and believe me the end of my
speculations is always an anxiety for your happiness. This anxiety will
not be one of the least incitements to the plan I purpose pursuing. I had
got into a habit of mind of looking towards you as a help in all
difficulties--This very habit would be the parent of idleness and
difficulties. You will see it is a duty I owe myself to break the neck of
it. I do nothing for my subsistence--make no exertion--At the end of
another year you shall applaud me, not for verses, but for conduct. While
I have some immediate cash, I had better settle myself quietly, and fag on
as others do. I shall apply to Hazlitt, who knows the market as well as
any one, for something to bring me in a few pounds as soon as possible. I
shall not suffer my pride to hinder me. The whisper may go round; I shall
not hear it. If I can get an article in the Edinburgh, I will. One must
not be delicate--Nor let this disturb you longer than a moment. I look
forward with a good hope that we shall one day be passing free,
untrammelled, unanxious time together. That can never be if I continue a
dead lump. I shall be expecting anxiously an answer from you. If it does
not arrive in a few days this will have miscarried, and I shall come
straight to ---- before I go to town, which you I am sure will agree had
better be done while I still have some ready cash. By the middle of
October I shall expect you in London. We will then set at the theatres. If
you have anything to gainsay, I shall be even as the deaf adder which
stoppeth her ears.
* * * * *
CXX.--TO CHARLES BROWN.
Winchester, September 23, 1819.
* * * * *
Do not suffer me to disturb you unpleasantly: I do not mean that you
should not suffer me to occupy your thoughts, but to occupy them
pleasantly; for I assure you I am as far from being unhappy as possible.
Imaginary grievances have always been more my torment than real ones--You
know this well--Real ones will never have any other effect upon me than to
stimulate me to get out of or avoid them. This is easily accounted
for--Our imaginary woes are conjured up by our passions, and are fostered
by passionate feeling: our real ones come of themselves, and are opposed
by an abstract exertion of mind. Real grievances are displacers of
passion. The imaginary nail a man down for a sufferer, as on a cross; the
real spur him up into an agent. I wish, at one view, you would see my
heart towards you. 'Tis only from a high tone of feeling that I can put
that word upon paper--out of poetry. I ought to have waited for your
answer to my last before I wrote this. I felt however compelled to make a
rejoinder to yours. I had written to Dilke on the subject of my last, I
scarcely know whether I shall send my letter now. I think he would approve
of my plan; it is so evident. Nay, I am convinced, out and out, that by
prosing for a while in periodical works I may maintain myself decently.
* * * * *
CXXI.--TO CHARLES WENTWORTH DILKE.
Winchester, Friday, October 1 [1819].
My dear Dilke--For sundry reasons, which I will explain to you when I come
to Town, I have to request you will do me a great favour as I must call it
knowing how great a Bore it is. That your imagination may not have time to
take too great an alarm I state immediately that I want you to hire me a
couple of rooms (a Sitting Room and bed room for myself alone) in
Westminster. Quietness and cheapness are the essentials: but as I shall
with Brown be returned by next Friday you cannot in that space have
sufficient time to make any choice selection, and need not be very
particular as I can when on the spot suit myself at leisure. Brown bids me
remind you not to send the Examiners after the third. Tell Mrs. D. I am
obliged to her for the late ones which I see are directed in her hand.
Excuse this mere business letter for I assure you I have not a syllable at
hand on any subject in the world.
Your sincere friend
JOHN KEATS.
CXXII.--TO BENJAMIN ROBERT HAYDON.
Winchester, Sunday Morn [October 3, 1819].
My dear Haydon--Certainly I might: but a few Months pass away before we
are aware. I have a great aversion to letter writing, which grows more and
more upon me; and a greater to summon up circumstances before me of an
unpleasant nature. I was not willing to trouble you with them. Could I
have dated from my Palace of Milan you would have heard from me. Not even
now will I mention a word of my affairs--only that "I Rab am here" but
shall not be here more than a Week more, as I purpose to settle in Town
and work my way with the rest. I hope I shall never be so silly as to
injure my health and industry for the future by speaking, writing or
fretting about my non-estate. I have no quarrel, I assure you, of so
weighty a nature, with the world, on my own account as I have on yours. I
have done nothing--except for the amusement of a few people who refine
upon their feelings till anything in the un-understandable way will go
down with them--people predisposed for sentiment. I have no cause to
complain because I am certain anything really fine will in these days be
felt. I have no doubt that if I had written Othello I should have been
cheered by as good a mob as Hunt. So would you be now if the operation of
painting was as universal as that of Writing. It is not: and therefore it
did behove men I could mention among whom I must place Sir George Beaumont
to have lifted you up above sordid cares. That this has not been done is a
disgrace to the country. I know very little of Painting, yet your pictures
follow me into the Country. When I am tired of reading I often think them
over and as often condemn the spirit of modern Connoisseurs. Upon the
whole, indeed, you have no complaint to make, being able to say what so
few Men can, "I have succeeded." On sitting down to write a few lines to
you these are the uppermost in my mind, and, however I may be beating
about the arctic while your spirit has passed the line, you may lay to a
minute and consider I am earnest as far as I can see. Though at this
present "I have great dispositions to write" I feel every day more and
more content to read. Books are becoming more interesting and valuable to
me. I may say I could not live without them. If in the course of a
fortnight you can procure me a ticket to the British Museum I will make a
better use of it than I did in the first instance. I shall go on with
patience in the confidence that if I ever do anything worth remembering
the Reviewers will no more be able to stumble-block me than the Royal
Academy could you. They have the same quarrel with you that the Scotch
nobles had with Wallace. The fame they have lost through you is no joke to
them. Had it not been for you Fuseli would have been not as he is major
but maximus domo. What Reviewers can put a hindrance to must be--a
nothing--or mediocre which is worse. I am sorry to say that since I saw
you I have been guilty of a practical joke upon Brown which has had all
the success of an innocent Wildfire among people. Some day in the next
week you shall hear it from me by word of Mouth. I have not seen the
portentous Book which was skummer'd at you just as I left town. It may be
light enough to serve you as a Cork Jacket and save you for a while the
trouble of swimming. I heard the Man went raking and rummaging about like
any Richardson. That and the Memoirs of Menage are the first I shall be
at. From Sr. G. B.'s, Lord Ms[108] and particularly Sr. John Leicesters
good lord deliver us. I shall expect to see your Picture plumped out like
a ripe Peach--you would not be very willing to give me a slice of it. I
came to this place in the hopes of meeting with a Library but was
disappointed. The High Street is as quiet as a Lamb. The knockers are
dieted to three raps per diem. The walks about are interesting from the
many old Buildings and archways. The view of the High Street through the
Gate of the City in the beautiful September evening light has amused me
frequently. The bad singing of the Cathedral I do not care to smoke--being
by myself I am not very coy in my taste. At St. Cross there is an
interesting picture of Albert Duerer's--who living in such war-like times
perhaps was forced to paint in his Gauntlets--so we must make all
allowances.
I am, my dear Haydon, Yours ever
JOHN KEATS.
Brown has a few words to say to you and will cross this.
CXXIII.--TO FANNY KEATS.
Wentworth Place[109] [October 16, 1819].
My dear Fanny--My Conscience is always reproaching me for neglecting you
for so long a time. I have been returned from Winchester this fortnight,
and as yet I have not seen you. I have no excuse to offer--I should have
no excuse. I shall expect to see you the next time I call on Mr. A. about
George's affairs which perplex me a great deal--I should have to-day gone
to see if you were in town--but as I am in an industrious humour (which is
so necessary to my livelihood for the future) I am loath to break through
it though it be merely for one day, for when I am inclined I can do a
great deal in a day--I am more fond of pleasure than study (many men have
prefer'd the latter) but I have become resolved to know something which
you will credit when I tell you I have left off animal food that my brains
may never henceforth be in a greater mist than is theirs by nature--I took
lodgings in Westminster for the purpose of being in the reach of Books,
but am now returned to Hampstead being induced to it by the habit I have
acquired in this room I am now in and also from the pleasure of being free
from paying any petty attentions to a diminutive house-keeping. Mr. Brown
has been my great friend for some time--without him I should have been
in, perhaps, personal distress--as I know you love me though I do not
deserve it, I am sure you will take pleasure in being a friend to Mr.
Brown even before you know him.--My lodgings for two or three days were
close in the neighbourhood of Mrs. Dilke who never sees me but she
enquires after you--I have had letters from George lately which do not
contain, as I think I told you in my last, the best news--I have hopes for
the best--I trust in a good termination to his affairs which you please
God will soon hear of--It is better you should not be teased with the
particulars. The whole amount of the ill news is that his mercantile
speculations have not had success in consequence of the general depression
of trade in the whole province of Kentucky and indeed all America.--I have
a couple of shells for you you will call pretty.
Your affectionate Brother
JOHN ----.
CXXIV.--TO JOSEPH SEVERN.
Wentworth Place, Wednesday
[October 27? 1819].
Dear Severn--Either your joke about staying at home is a very old one or I
really call'd. I don't remember doing so. I am glad to hear you have
finish'd the Picture and am more anxious to see it than I have time to
spare: for I have been so very lax, unemployed, unmeridian'd, and
objectless these two months that I even grudge indulging (and that is no
great indulgence considering the Lecture is not over till 9 and the
lecture room seven miles from Wentworth Place) myself by going to
Hazlitt's Lecture. If you have hours to the amount of a brace of dozens to
throw away you may sleep nine of them here in your little Crib and chat
the rest. When your Picture is up and in a good light I shall make a point
of meeting you at the Academy if you will let me know when. If you should
be at the Lecture to-morrow evening I shall see you--and congratulate you
heartily--Haslam I know "is very Beadle to an amorous sigh."