Little Dorrit
of being brought into still more agreeable relations. For one cannot
but see the great probability of your considering such things from Mr
Merdle’s own point of view, except indeed that circumstances have made
it Mr Merdle’s accidental fortune, or misfortune, to be engaged in
business transactions, and that they, however vast, may a little cramp
his horizons. I am a very child as to having any notion of business,’
said Mrs Merdle; ‘but I am afraid, Mr Dorrit, it may have that
tendency.’
This skilful see-saw of Mr Dorrit and Mrs Merdle, so that each of them
sent the other up, and each of them sent the other down, and neither
had the advantage, acted as a sedative on Mr Dorrit’s cough. He remarked
with his utmost politeness, that he must beg to protest against its
being supposed, even by Mrs Merdle, the accomplished and graceful
(to which compliment she bent herself), that such enterprises as Mr
Merdle’s, apart as they were from the puny undertakings of the rest of
men, had any lower tendency than to enlarge and expand the genius in
which they were conceived. ‘You are generosity itself,’ said Mrs Merdle
in return, smiling her best smile; ‘let us hope so. But I confess I am
almost superstitious in my ideas about business.’
Mr Dorrit threw in another compliment here, to the effect that business,
like the time which was precious in it, was made for slaves; and that it
was not for Mrs Merdle, who ruled all hearts at her supreme pleasure,
to have anything to do with it. Mrs Merdle laughed, and conveyed to
Mr Dorrit an idea that the Bosom flushed--which was one of her best
effects.
‘I say so much,’ she then explained, ‘merely because Mr Merdle has
always taken the greatest interest in Edmund, and has always expressed
the strongest desire to advance his prospects. Edmund’s public position,
I think you know. His private position rests solely with Mr Merdle. In
my foolish incapacity for business, I assure you I know no more.’
Mr Dorrit again expressed, in his own way, the sentiment that business
was below the ken of enslavers and enchantresses. He then mentioned his
intention, as a gentleman and a parent, of writing to Mr Merdle. Mrs
Merdle concurred with all her heart--or with all her art, which was
exactly the same thing--and herself despatched a preparatory letter by
the next post to the eighth wonder of the world.
In his epistolary communication, as in his dialogues and discourses on
the great question to which it related, Mr Dorrit surrounded the
subject with flourishes, as writing-masters embellish copy-books and
ciphering-books: where the titles of the elementary rules of
arithmetic diverge into swans, eagles, griffins, and other calligraphic
recreations, and where the capital letters go out of their minds and
bodies into ecstasies of pen and ink. Nevertheless, he did render the
purport of his letter sufficiently clear, to enable Mr Merdle to make a
decent pretence of having learnt it from that source. Mr Merdle replied
to it accordingly. Mr Dorrit replied to Mr Merdle; Mr Merdle replied to
Mr Dorrit; and it was soon announced that the corresponding powers had
come to a satisfactory understanding.
Now, and not before, Miss Fanny burst upon the scene, completely arrayed
for her new part. Now and not before, she wholly absorbed Mr Sparkler in
her light, and shone for both, and twenty more. No longer feeling that
want of a defined place and character which had caused her so much
trouble, this fair ship began to steer steadily on a shaped course, and
to swim with a weight and balance that developed her sailing qualities.
‘The preliminaries being so satisfactorily arranged, I think I will now,
my dear,’ said Mr Dorrit, ‘announce--ha--formally, to Mrs General--’
‘Papa,’ returned Fanny, taking him up short upon that name, ‘I don’t see
what Mrs General has got to do with it.’
‘My dear,’ said Mr Dorrit, ‘it will be an act of courtesy to--hum--a
lady, well bred and refined--’
‘Oh! I am sick of Mrs General’s good breeding and refinement, papa,’
said Fanny. ‘I am tired of Mrs General.’
‘Tired,’ repeated Mr Dorrit in reproachful astonishment, ‘of--ha--Mrs
General.’
‘Quite disgusted with her, papa,’ said Fanny. ‘I really don’t see what
she has to do with my marriage. Let her keep to her own matrimonial
projects--if she has any.’
‘Fanny,’ returned Mr Dorrit, with a grave and weighty slowness upon him,
contrasting strongly with his daughter’s levity: ‘I beg the favour of
your explaining--ha--what it is you mean.’
‘I mean, papa,’ said Fanny, ‘that if Mrs General should happen to have
any matrimonial projects of her own, I dare say they are quite enough to
occupy her spare time. And that if she has not, so much the better; but
still I don’t wish to have the honour of making announcements to her.’
‘Permit me to ask you, Fanny,’ said Mr Dorrit, ‘why not?’
‘Because she can find my engagement out for herself, papa,’ retorted
Fanny. ‘She is watchful enough, I dare say. I think I have seen her
so. Let her find it out for herself. If she should not find it out for
herself, she will know it when I am married. And I hope you will not
consider me wanting in affection for you, papa, if I say it strikes me
that will be quite enough for Mrs General.’
‘Fanny,’ returned Mr Dorrit, ‘I am amazed, I am displeased by
this--hum--this capricious and unintelligible display of animosity
towards--ha--Mrs General.’
‘Do not, if you please, papa,’ urged Fanny, ‘call it animosity, because
I assure you I do not consider Mrs General worth my animosity.’
At this, Mr Dorrit rose from his chair with a fixed look of severe
reproof, and remained standing in his dignity before his daughter. His
daughter, turning the bracelet on her arm, and now looking at him, and
now looking from him, said, ‘Very well, papa. I am truly sorry if you
don’t like it; but I can’t help it. I am not a child, and I am not Amy,
and I must speak.’
‘Fanny,’ gasped Mr Dorrit, after a majestic silence, ‘if I request
you to remain here, while I formally announce to Mrs General, as
an exemplary lady, who is--hum--a trusted member of this family,
the--ha--the change that is contemplated among us; if I--ha--not only
request it, but--hum--insist upon it--’
‘Oh, papa,’ Fanny broke in with pointed significance, ‘if you make so
much of it as that, I have in duty nothing to do but comply. I hope I
may have my thoughts upon the subject, however, for I really cannot help
it under the circumstances.’ So, Fanny sat down with a meekness which,
in the junction of extremes, became defiance; and her father, either not
deigning to answer, or not knowing what to answer, summoned Mr Tinkler
into his presence.
‘Mrs General.’
Mr Tinkler, unused to receive such short orders in connection with the
fair varnisher, paused. Mr Dorrit, seeing the whole Marshalsea and all
its testimonials in the pause, instantly flew at him with, ‘How dare
you, sir? What do you mean?’
‘I beg your pardon, sir,’ pleaded Mr Tinkler, ‘I was wishful to know--’
‘You wished to know nothing, sir,’ cried Mr Dorrit, highly flushed.
‘Don’t tell me you did. Ha. You didn’t. You are guilty of mockery, sir.’
‘I assure you, sir--’ Mr Tinkler began.
‘Don’t assure me!’ said Mr Dorrit. ‘I will not be assured by a
domestic. You are guilty of mockery. You shall leave me--hum--the whole
establishment shall leave me. What are you waiting for?’
‘Only for my orders, sir.’
‘It’s false,’ said Mr Dorrit, ‘you have your orders. Ha--hum. My
compliments to Mrs General, and I beg the favour of her coming to me, if
quite convenient, for a few minutes. Those are your orders.’
In his execution of this mission, Mr Tinkler perhaps expressed that Mr
Dorrit was in a raging fume. However that was, Mrs General’s skirts were
very speedily heard outside, coming along--one might almost have said
bouncing along--with unusual expedition. Albeit, they settled down at
the door and swept into the room with their customary coolness.
‘Mrs General,’ said Mr Dorrit, ‘take a chair.’
Mrs General, with a graceful curve of acknowledgment, descended into the
chair which Mr Dorrit offered.
‘Madam,’ pursued that gentleman, ‘as you have had the kindness to
undertake the--hum--formation of my daughters, and as I am persuaded
that nothing nearly affecting them can--ha--be indifferent to you--’
‘Wholly impossible,’ said Mrs General in the calmest of ways.
‘--I therefore wish to announce to you, madam, that my daughter now
present--’
Mrs General made a slight inclination of her head to Fanny, who made
a very low inclination of her head to Mrs General, and came loftily
upright again.
‘--That my daughter Fanny is--ha--contracted to be married to Mr
Sparkler, with whom you are acquainted. Hence, madam, you will be
relieved of half your difficult charge--ha--difficult charge.’ Mr
Dorrit repeated it with his angry eye on Fanny. ‘But not, I hope, to
the--hum--diminution of any other portion, direct or indirect, of the
footing you have at present the kindness to occupy in my family.’
‘Mr Dorrit,’ returned Mrs General, with her gloved hands resting on
one another in exemplary repose, ‘is ever considerate, and ever but too
appreciative of my friendly services.’
(Miss Fanny coughed, as much as to say, ‘You are right.’)
‘Miss Dorrit has no doubt exercised the soundest discretion of which
the circumstances admitted, and I trust will allow me to offer her my
sincere congratulations. When free from the trammels of passion,’ Mrs
General closed her eyes at the word, as if she could not utter it, and
see anybody; ‘when occurring with the approbation of near relatives;
and when cementing the proud structure of a family edifice; these are
usually auspicious events. I trust Miss Dorrit will allow me to offer
her my best congratulations.’
Here Mrs General stopped, and added internally, for the setting of her
face, ‘Papa, potatoes, poultry, Prunes, and prism.’
‘Mr Dorrit,’ she superadded aloud, ‘is ever most obliging; and for
the attention, and I will add distinction, of having this confidence
imparted to me by himself and Miss Dorrit at this early time, I beg to
offer the tribute of my thanks. My thanks, and my congratulations, are
equally the meed of Mr Dorrit and of Miss Dorrit.’
‘To me,’ observed Miss Fanny, ‘they are excessively
gratifying--inexpressibly so. The relief of finding that you have no
objection to make, Mrs General, quite takes a load off my mind, I am
sure. I hardly know what I should have done,’ said Fanny, ‘if you had
interposed any objection, Mrs General.’
Mrs General changed her gloves, as to the right glove being uppermost
and the left undermost, with a Prunes and Prism smile.
‘To preserve your approbation, Mrs General,’ said Fanny, returning the
smile with one in which there was no trace of those ingredients, ‘will
of course be the highest object of my married life; to lose it, would of
course be perfect wretchedness. I am sure your great kindness will
not object, and I hope papa will not object, to my correcting a
small mistake you have made, however. The best of us are so liable to
mistakes, that even you, Mrs General, have fallen into a little error.
The attention and distinction you have so impressively mentioned, Mrs
General, as attaching to this confidence, are, I have no doubt, of the
most complimentary and gratifying description; but they don’t at all
proceed from me. The merit of having consulted you on the subject would
have been so great in me, that I feel I must not lay claim to it when it
really is not mine. It is wholly papa’s. I am deeply obliged to you for
your encouragement and patronage, but it was papa who asked for it.
I have to thank you, Mrs General, for relieving my breast of a great
weight by so handsomely giving your consent to my engagement, but you