Little Dorrit
eyelids that it wouldn’t stick in when he put it up, but kept tumbling
out against his waistcoat buttons with a click that discomposed him very
much.
‘Oh, I say. Look here! My father’s not in the way, and won’t be in the
way to-day,’ said Barnacle Junior. ‘Is this anything that I can do?’
(Click! Eye-glass down. Barnacle Junior quite frightened and feeling all
round himself, but not able to find it.)
‘You are very good,’ said Arthur Clennam. ‘I wish however to see Mr
Barnacle.’
‘But I say. Look here! You haven’t got any appointment, you know,’ said
Barnacle Junior.
(By this time he had found the eye-glass, and put it up again.)
‘No,’ said Arthur Clennam. ‘That is what I wish to have.’
‘But I say. Look here! Is this public business?’ asked Barnacle junior.
(Click! Eye-glass down again. Barnacle Junior in that state of search
after it that Mr Clennam felt it useless to reply at present.)
‘Is it,’ said Barnacle junior, taking heed of his visitor’s brown face,
‘anything about--Tonnage--or that sort of thing?’
(Pausing for a reply, he opened his right eye with his hand, and stuck
his glass in it, in that inflammatory manner that his eye began watering
dreadfully.)
‘No,’ said Arthur, ‘it is nothing about tonnage.’
‘Then look here. Is it private business?’
‘I really am not sure. It relates to a Mr Dorrit.’
‘Look here, I tell you what! You had better call at our house, if you
are going that way. Twenty-four, Mews Street, Grosvenor Square. My
father’s got a slight touch of the gout, and is kept at home by it.’
(The misguided young Barnacle evidently going blind on his eye-glass
side, but ashamed to make any further alteration in his painful
arrangements.)
‘Thank you. I will call there now. Good morning.’ Young Barnacle seemed
discomfited at this, as not having at all expected him to go.
‘You are quite sure,’ said Barnacle junior, calling after him when he
got to the door, unwilling wholly to relinquish the bright business idea
he had conceived; ‘that it’s nothing about Tonnage?’
‘Quite sure.’
With such assurance, and rather wondering what might have taken place
if it _had_ been anything about tonnage, Mr Clennam withdrew to pursue his
inquiries.
Mews Street, Grosvenor Square, was not absolutely Grosvenor Square
itself, but it was very near it. It was a hideous little street of dead
wall, stables, and dunghills, with lofts over coach-houses inhabited by
coachmen’s families, who had a passion for drying clothes and decorating
their window-sills with miniature turnpike-gates. The principal
chimney-sweep of that fashionable quarter lived at the blind end of Mews
Street; and the same corner contained an establishment much frequented
about early morning and twilight for the purchase of wine-bottles and
kitchen-stuff. Punch’s shows used to lean against the dead wall in Mews
Street, while their proprietors were dining elsewhere; and the dogs of
the neighbourhood made appointments to meet in the same locality. Yet
there were two or three small airless houses at the entrance end of Mews
Street, which went at enormous rents on account of their being abject
hangers-on to a fashionable situation; and whenever one of these fearful
little coops was to be let (which seldom happened, for they were in
great request), the house agent advertised it as a gentlemanly residence
in the most aristocratic part of town, inhabited solely by the elite of
the beau monde.
If a gentlemanly residence coming strictly within this narrow margin had
not been essential to the blood of the Barnacles, this particular branch
would have had a pretty wide selection among, let us say, ten thousand
houses, offering fifty times the accommodation for a third of the money.
As it was, Mr Barnacle, finding his gentlemanly residence extremely
inconvenient and extremely dear, always laid it, as a public servant,
at the door of the country, and adduced it as another instance of the
country’s parsimony.
Arthur Clennam came to a squeezed house, with a ramshackle bowed
front, little dingy windows, and a little dark area like a damp
waistcoat-pocket, which he found to be number twenty-four, Mews Street,
Grosvenor Square. To the sense of smell the house was like a sort of
bottle filled with a strong distillation of Mews; and when the footman
opened the door, he seemed to take the stopper out.
The footman was to the Grosvenor Square footmen, what the house was to
the Grosvenor Square houses. Admirable in his way, his way was a back
and a bye way. His gorgeousness was not unmixed with dirt; and both in
complexion and consistency he had suffered from the closeness of his
pantry. A sallow flabbiness was upon him when he took the stopper out,
and presented the bottle to Mr Clennam’s nose.
‘Be so good as to give that card to Mr Tite Barnacle, and to say that I
have just now seen the younger Mr Barnacle, who recommended me to call
here.’
The footman (who had as many large buttons with the Barnacle crest upon
them on the flaps of his pockets, as if he were the family strong box,
and carried the plate and jewels about with him buttoned up) pondered
over the card a little; then said, ‘Walk in.’ It required some judgment
to do it without butting the inner hall-door open, and in the consequent
mental confusion and physical darkness slipping down the kitchen stairs.
The visitor, however, brought himself up safely on the door-mat.
Still the footman said ‘Walk in,’ so the visitor followed him. At the
inner hall-door, another bottle seemed to be presented and another
stopper taken out. This second vial appeared to be filled with
concentrated provisions and extract of Sink from the pantry. After a
skirmish in the narrow passage, occasioned by the footman’s opening the
door of the dismal dining-room with confidence, finding some one there
with consternation, and backing on the visitor with disorder, the
visitor was shut up, pending his announcement, in a close back parlour.
There he had an opportunity of refreshing himself with both the
bottles at once, looking out at a low blinding wall three feet off,
and speculating on the number of Barnacle families within the bills of
mortality who lived in such hutches of their own free flunkey choice.
Mr Barnacle would see him. Would he walk up-stairs? He would, and
he did; and in the drawing-room, with his leg on a rest, he found Mr
Barnacle himself, the express image and presentment of How not to do it.
Mr Barnacle dated from a better time, when the country was not so
parsimonious and the Circumlocution Office was not so badgered. He wound
and wound folds of white cravat round his neck, as he wound and wound
folds of tape and paper round the neck of the country. His wristbands
and collar were oppressive; his voice and manner were oppressive. He
had a large watch-chain and bunch of seals, a coat buttoned up to
inconvenience, a waistcoat buttoned up to inconvenience, an unwrinkled
pair of trousers, a stiff pair of boots. He was altogether splendid,
massive, overpowering, and impracticable. He seemed to have been sitting
for his portrait to Sir Thomas Lawrence all the days of his life.
‘Mr Clennam?’ said Mr Barnacle. ‘Be seated.’
Mr Clennam became seated.
‘You have called on me, I believe,’ said Mr Barnacle, ‘at the
Circumlocution--’ giving it the air of a word of about five-and-twenty
syllables--‘Office.’
‘I have taken that liberty.’
Mr Barnacle solemnly bent his head as who should say, ‘I do not deny
that it is a liberty; proceed to take another liberty, and let me know
your business.’
‘Allow me to observe that I have been for some years in China, am quite
a stranger at home, and have no personal motive or interest in the
inquiry I am about to make.’
Mr Barnacle tapped his fingers on the table, and, as if he were now
sitting for his portrait to a new and strange artist, appeared to say
to his visitor, ‘If you will be good enough to take me with my present
lofty expression, I shall feel obliged.’
‘I have found a debtor in the Marshalsea Prison of the name of Dorrit,
who has been there many years. I wish to investigate his confused
affairs so far as to ascertain whether it may not be possible, after
this lapse of time, to ameliorate his unhappy condition. The name of
Mr Tite Barnacle has been mentioned to me as representing some highly
influential interest among his creditors. Am I correctly informed?’
It being one of the principles of the Circumlocution Office never, on
any account whatever, to give a straightforward answer, Mr Barnacle
said, ‘Possibly.’
‘On behalf of the Crown, may I ask, or as private individual?’
‘The Circumlocution Department, sir,’ Mr Barnacle replied, ‘may have
possibly recommended--possibly--I cannot say--that some public claim
against the insolvent estate of a firm or copartnership to which this
person may have belonged, should be enforced. The question may have
been, in the course of official business, referred to the Circumlocution
Department for its consideration. The Department may have either
originated, or confirmed, a Minute making that recommendation.’
‘I assume this to be the case, then.’
‘The Circumlocution Department,’ said Mr Barnacle, ‘is not responsible
for any gentleman’s assumptions.’
‘May I inquire how I can obtain official information as to the real
state of the case?’
‘It is competent,’ said Mr Barnacle, ‘to any member of the--Public,’
mentioning that obscure body with reluctance, as his natural enemy,
‘to memorialise the Circumlocution Department. Such formalities as are
required to be observed in so doing, may be known on application to the
proper branch of that Department.’
‘Which is the proper branch?’
‘I must refer you,’ returned Mr Barnacle, ringing the bell, ‘to the
Department itself for a formal answer to that inquiry.’
‘Excuse my mentioning--’
‘The Department is accessible to the--Public,’ Mr Barnacle was always
checked a little by that word of impertinent signification, ‘if
the--Public approaches it according to the official forms; if
the--Public does not approach it according to the official forms,
the--Public has itself to blame.’
Mr Barnacle made him a severe bow, as a wounded man of family, a wounded
man of place, and a wounded man of a gentlemanly residence, all rolled
into one; and he made Mr Barnacle a bow, and was shut out into Mews
Street by the flabby footman.
Having got to this pass, he resolved as an exercise in perseverance,
to betake himself again to the Circumlocution Office, and try what
satisfaction he could get there. So he went back to the Circumlocution
Office, and once more sent up his card to Barnacle junior by a messenger
who took it very ill indeed that he should come back again, and who was
eating mashed potatoes and gravy behind a partition by the hall fire.
He was readmitted to the presence of Barnacle junior, and found that
young gentleman singeing his knees now, and gaping his weary way on
to four o’clock.
‘I say. Look here. You stick to us in a devil of a manner,’ Said
Barnacle junior, looking over his shoulder.
‘I want to know--’
‘Look here. Upon my soul you mustn’t come into the place saying you
want to know, you know,’ remonstrated Barnacle junior, turning about and
putting up the eye-glass.
‘I want to know,’ said Arthur Clennam, who had made up his mind to
persistence in one short form of words, ‘the precise nature of the claim
of the Crown against a prisoner for debt, named Dorrit.’
‘I say. Look here. You really are going it at a great pace, you know.
Egad, you haven’t got an appointment,’ said Barnacle junior, as if the
thing were growing serious.
‘I want to know,’ said Arthur, and repeated his case.
Barnacle junior stared at him until his eye-glass fell out, and then