Main Street
“What about Dr. Gould? Don't you think he's worse than either Westlake
or McGanum? He's so cheap--drinking, and playing pool, and always
smoking cigars in such a cocky way----”
“That's all right now! Terry Gould is a good deal of a tin-horn sport,
but he knows a lot about medicine, and don't you forget it for one
second!”
She stared down Guy's grin, and asked more cheerfully, “Is he honest,
too?”
“Ooooooooooo! Gosh I'm sleepy!” He burrowed beneath the bedclothes in
a luxurious stretch, and came up like a diver, shaking his head, as
he complained, “How's that? Who? Terry Gould honest? Don't start me
laughing--I'm too nice and sleepy! I didn't say he was honest. I said
he had savvy enough to find the index in 'Gray's Anatomy,' which is more
than McGanum can do! But I didn't say anything about his being honest.
He isn't. Terry is crooked as a dog's hind leg. He's done me more than
one dirty trick. He told Mrs. Glorbach, seventeen miles out, that I
wasn't up-to-date in obstetrics. Fat lot of good it did him! She came
right in and told me! And Terry's lazy. He'd let a pneumonia patient
choke rather than interrupt a poker game.”
“Oh no. I can't believe----”
“Well now, I'm telling you!”
“Does he play much poker? Dr. Dillon told me that Dr. Gould wanted him
to play----”
“Dillon told you what? Where'd you meet Dillon? He's just come to town.”
“He and his wife were at Mr. Pollock's tonight.”
“Say, uh, what'd you think of them? Didn't Dillon strike you as pretty
light-waisted?”
“Why no. He seemed intelligent. I'm sure he's much more wide-awake than
our dentist.”
“Well now, the old man is a good dentist. He knows his business. And
Dillon----I wouldn't cuddle up to the Dillons too close, if I were you.
All right for Pollock, and that's none of our business, but we----I
think I'd just give the Dillons the glad hand and pass 'em up.”
“But why? He isn't a rival.”
“That's--all--right!” Kennicott was aggressively awake now. “He'll work
right in with Westlake and McGanum. Matter of fact, I suspect they
were largely responsible for his locating here. They'll be sending him
patients, and he'll send all that he can get hold of to them. I don't
trust anybody that's too much hand-in-glove with Westlake. You give
Dillon a shot at some fellow that's just bought a farm here and drifts
into town to get his teeth looked at, and after Dillon gets through with
him, you'll see him edging around to Westlake and McGanum, every time!”
Carol reached for her blouse, which hung on a chair by the bed. She
draped it about her shoulders, and sat up studying Kennicott, her chin
in her hands. In the gray light from the small electric bulb down the
hall she could see that he was frowning.
“Will, this is--I must get this straight. Some one said to me the other
day that in towns like this, even more than in cities, all the doctors
hate each other, because of the money----”
“Who said that?”
“It doesn't matter.”
“I'll bet a hat it was your Vida Sherwin. She's a brainy woman, but
she'd be a damn sight brainier if she kept her mouth shut and didn't let
so much of her brains ooze out that way.”
“Will! O Will! That's horrible! Aside from the vulgarity----Some ways,
Vida is my best friend. Even if she HAD said it. Which, as a matter of
fact, she didn't.” He reared up his thick shoulders, in absurd pink and
green flannelette pajamas. He sat straight, and irritatingly snapped his
fingers, and growled:
“Well, if she didn't say it, let's forget her. Doesn't make any
difference who said it, anyway. The point is that you believe it. God!
To think you don't understand me any better than that! Money!”
(“This is the first real quarrel we've ever had,” she was agonizing.)
He thrust out his long arm and snatched his wrinkly vest from a chair.
He took out a cigar, a match. He tossed the vest on the floor. He
lighted the cigar and puffed savagely. He broke up the match and snapped
the fragments at the foot-board.
She suddenly saw the foot-board of the bed as the foot-stone of the
grave of love.
The room was drab-colored and ill-ventilated--Kennicott did not “believe
in opening the windows so darn wide that you heat all outdoors.” The
stale air seemed never to change. In the light from the hall they were
two lumps of bedclothes with shoulders and tousled heads attached.
She begged, “I didn't mean to wake you up, dear. And please don't smoke.
You've been smoking so much. Please go back to sleep. I'm sorry.”
“Being sorry 's all right, but I'm going to tell you one or two things.
This falling for anybody's say-so about medical jealousy and competition
is simply part and parcel of your usual willingness to think the worst
you possibly can of us poor dubs in Gopher Prairie. Trouble with women
like you is, you always want to ARGUE. Can't take things the way they
are. Got to argue. Well, I'm not going to argue about this in any way,
shape, manner, or form. Trouble with you is, you don't make any effort
to appreciate us. You're so damned superior, and think the city is such
a hell of a lot finer place, and you want us to do what YOU want, all
the time----”
“That's not true! It's I who make the effort. It's they--it's you--who
stand back and criticize. I have to come over to the town's opinion;
I have to devote myself to their interests. They can't even SEE my
interests, to say nothing of adopting them. I get ever so excited about
their old Lake Minniemashie and the cottages, but they simply guffaw (in
that lovely friendly way you advertise so much) if I speak of wanting to
see Taormina also.”
“Sure, Tormina, whatever that is--some nice expensive millionaire
colony, I suppose. Sure; that's the idea; champagne taste and beer
income; and make sure that we never will have more than a beer income,
too!”
“Are you by any chance implying that I am not economical?”
“Well, I hadn't intended to, but since you bring it up yourself, I don't
mind saying the grocery bills are about twice what they ought to be.”
“Yes, they probably are. I'm not economical. I can't be. Thanks to you!”
“Where d' you get that 'thanks to you'?”
“Please don't be quite so colloquial--or shall I say VULGAR?”
“I'll be as damn colloquial as I want to. How do you get that 'thanks to
you'? Here about a year ago you jump me for not remembering to give you
money. Well, I'm reasonable. I didn't blame you, and I SAID I was to
blame. But have I ever forgotten it since--practically?”
“No. You haven't--practically! But that isn't it. I ought to have an
allowance. I will, too! I must have an agreement for a regular stated
amount, every month.”
“Fine idea! Of course a doctor gets a regular stated amount! Sure! A
thousand one month--and lucky if he makes a hundred the next.”
“Very well then, a percentage. Or something else. No matter how much you
vary, you can make a rough average for----”
“But what's the idea? What are you trying to get at? Mean to say I'm
unreasonable? Think I'm so unreliable and tightwad that you've got to
tie me down with a contract? By God, that hurts! I thought I'd been
pretty generous and decent, and I took a lot of pleasure--thinks I,
'she'll be tickled when I hand her over this twenty'--or fifty, or
whatever it was; and now seems you been wanting to make it a kind of
alimony. Me, like a poor fool, thinking I was liberal all the while, and
you----”
“Please stop pitying yourself! You're having a beautiful time feeling
injured. I admit all you say. Certainly. You've given me money both
freely and amiably. Quite as if I were your mistress!”
“Carrie!”
“I mean it! What was a magnificent spectacle of generosity to you was
humiliation to me. You GAVE me money--gave it to your mistress, if she
was complaisant, and then you----”
“Carrie!”
“(Don't interrupt me!)--then you felt you'd discharged all obligation.
Well, hereafter I'll refuse your money, as a gift. Either I'm your
partner, in charge of the household department of our business, with a
regular budget for it, or else I'm nothing. If I'm to be a mistress,
I shall choose my lovers. Oh, I hate it--I hate it--this smirking and
hoping for money--and then not even spending it on jewels as a mistress
has a right to, but spending it on double-boilers and socks for you!
Yes indeed! You're generous! You give me a dollar, right out--the only
proviso is that I must spend it on a tie for you! And you give it when
and as you wish. How can I be anything but uneconomical?”
“Oh well, of course, looking at it that way----”
“I can't shop around, can't buy in large quantities, have to stick to
stores where I have a charge account, good deal of the time, can't plan
because I don't know how much money I can depend on. That's what I pay
for your charming sentimentalities about giving so generously. You make
me----”
“Wait! Wait! You know you're exaggerating. You never thought about that
mistress stuff till just this minute! Matter of fact, you never have
'smirked and hoped for money.' But all the same, you may be right. You
ought to run the household as a business. I'll figure out a definite
plan tomorrow, and hereafter you'll be on a regular amount or
percentage, with your own checking account.”
“Oh, that IS decent of you!” She turned toward him, trying to be
affectionate. But his eyes were pink and unlovely in the flare of the
match with which he lighted his dead and malodorous cigar. His head
drooped, and a ridge of flesh scattered with pale small bristles bulged
out under his chin.
She sat in abeyance till he croaked:
“No. 'Tisn't especially decent. It's just fair. And God knows I want
to be fair. But I expect others to be fair, too. And you're so high and
mighty about people. Take Sam Clark; best soul that ever lived, honest
and loyal and a damn good fellow----”
(“Yes, and a good shot at ducks, don't forget that!”)
(“Well, and he is a good shot, too!) Sam drops around in the evening to
sit and visit, and by golly just because he takes a dry smoke and rolls
his cigar around in his mouth, and maybe spits a few times, you look
at him as if he was a hog. Oh, you didn't know I was onto you, and I
certainly hope Sam hasn't noticed it, but I never miss it.”
“I have felt that way. Spitting--ugh! But I'm sorry you caught my
thoughts. I tried to be nice; I tried to hide them.”
“Maybe I catch a whole lot more than you think I do!”
“Yes, perhaps you do.”
“And d' you know why Sam doesn't light his cigar when he's here?”
“Why?”
“He's so darn afraid you'll be offended if he smokes. You scare him.
Every time he speaks of the weather you jump him because he ain't
talking about poetry or Gertie--Goethe?--or some other highbrow junk.
You've got him so leery he scarcely dares to come here.”
“Oh, I AM sorry. (Though I'm sure it's you who are exaggerating now.”)
“Well now, I don't know as I am! And I can tell you one thing: if you
keep on you'll manage to drive away every friend I've got.”
“That would be horrible of me. You KNOW I don't mean to Will, what is it
about me that frightens Sam--if I do frighten him.”
“Oh, you do, all right! 'Stead of putting his legs up on another chair,
and unbuttoning his vest, and telling a good story or maybe kidding
me about something, he sits on the edge of his chair and tries to make
conversation about politics, and he doesn't even cuss, and Sam's never
real comfortable unless he can cuss a little!”
“In other words, he isn't comfortable unless he can behave like a
peasant in a mud hut!”
“Now that'll be about enough of that! You want to know how you scare
him? First you deliberately fire some question at him that you know darn
well he can't answer--any fool could see you were experimenting with
him--and then you shock him by talking of mistresses or something, like
you were doing just now----”