Manon Lescaut
true, I am in love; I have not deceived you: but with regard to my
flight, that is a project not to be undertaken without deliberation.
Call for me tomorrow at nine o'clock: you shall see my mistress, if it
be possible, and then judge whether she is not worthy of any risk or
sacrifice on my part.' He left me, with a thousand protestations of
friendship.
"I employed the night in preparing for the journey, and on repairing to
the inn at early dawn, I found Manon waiting my arrival. She was at
her window, which looked upon the street, and perceiving my approach,
she came down and opened the door herself. We took our departure
silently, and without creating the least alarm. She merely brought
away a small portion of her apparel, of which I took charge. The
chaise was in readiness, and we were soon at a distance from the town.
"You will learn in the sequel what was the conduct of Tiberge when he
discovered that I had deceived him; that his zeal to serve me suffered
no diminution; and you will observe to what lengths his devotion
carried him. How ought I to grieve, when I reflect on the base
ingratitude with which his affection was always repaid!
"We made such speed on our journey that before night we reached St.
Denis. I rode alongside of the chaise, which gave us little
opportunity for conversation, except while changing horses; but when we
found ourselves so near Paris, and out of the reach of danger, we
allowed ourselves time for refreshment, not having tasted food since we
quitted Amiens. Passionately in love as I felt with Manon, she knew
how to convince me that she was equally so with me. So little did we
restrain our fondness, that we had not even patience to reserve our
caresses till we were alone. The postilions and innkeepers stared at us
with wonder, and I remarked that they appeared surprised at such
uncontrollable love in children of our age.
"Our project of marriage was forgotten at St. Denis; we defrauded the
Church of her rights; and found ourselves united as man and wife
without reflecting on the consequences. It is certain that with my
easy and constant disposition, I should have been happy for my whole
life, if Manon had remained faithful to me. The more I saw of her, the
more I discovered in her new perfections. Her mind, her heart, her
gentleness and beauty, formed a chain at once so binding and so
agreeable, that I could have found perfect happiness in its enduring
influence. Terrible fatality, that which has been the source of my
despair, might, under a slight change of circumstances, have
constituted my happiness. I find myself the most wretched of mankind,
by the force of that very constancy from which I might have fairly
expected to derive the most serene of human blisses, and the most
perfect recompense of love.
"We took a furnished apartment at Paris, in the Rue V----, and, as it
afterwards turned out, to my sorrow, close to the house of M. de B----,
the famous Fermier-general. Three weeks passed, during which I was so
absorbed in my passion, that I never gave a thought to my family, nor
dreamed of the distress which my father probably felt at my absence.
However, as there was yet nothing of profligacy about me, and as Manon
conducted herself with the strictest propriety, the tranquil life we
led served to restore me by degrees to a sense of duty.
"I resolved to effect, if possible, a reconciliation with my parent.
My mistress was to me so perfectly lovable, that I could not doubt
her power of captivating my father, if I could only find the means of
making him acquainted with her good conduct and merit. In a word, I
relied on obtaining his consent to our marriage, having given up all
idea of accomplishing it without his approval. I mentioned the project
to Manon, and explained to her that, besides every motive of filial
love and duty, the weightier one of necessity should also have some
influence; for our finances were sadly reduced, and I began to see the
folly of thinking them, as I once did, inexhaustible.
"Manon received the proposition with considerable coldness. However,
the difficulties she made, being apparently the suggestions of
tenderness alone, or as arising from the natural fear of losing me, if
my father, after learning our address, should refuse his assent to our
union, I had not the smallest suspicion of the cruel blow she was at
the very time preparing to inflict. As to the argument of necessity,
she replied that we had still abundant means of living for some weeks
longer, and that she would then find a resource in the kindness of some
relations in the country, to whom she should write. She tempered her
opposition by caresses so tender and impassioned, that I, who lived
only for her, and who never had the slightest misgiving as to her love,
applauded at once her arguments and her resolutions.
"To Manon I had committed the care of our finances, and the house-hold
arrangements. In a short time, I observed that our style of living was
improved, and that she had treated herself to more expensive dresses.
As I calculated that we could hardly have at this period more than
fifteen or twenty crowns remaining, I did not conceal my surprise at
this mysterious augmentation of our wealth. She begged of me, with a
smile, to give myself no trouble on that head. 'Did I not promise
you,' said she, 'that I would find resources?' I loved her too purely
to experience the slightest suspicion.
"One day, having gone out in the afternoon, and told her that I should
not be at home so early as usual, I was astonished, on my return, at
being detained several minutes at the door. Our only servant was a
young girl about our own age. On her letting me in at last, I asked
why she had detained me so long? She replied in an embarrassed tone,
that she did not hear me knock. 'I only knocked once,' said I; 'so if
you did not hear me, why come to open the door at all?' This query
disconcerted her so visibly, that losing her presence of mind, she
began to cry, assuring me that it was not her fault; and that her
mistress had desired her not to open the door until M. de B---- had had
time to go down by the back staircase. I was so confounded by this
information as to be utterly unable to proceed to our apartment; and
was obliged to leave the house, under the pretext of an appointment. I
desired the girl, therefore, to let her mistress know that I should
return in a few minutes, but on no account to say that she had spoken
to me of M. de B----.
"My horror was so great, that I shed tears as I went along, hardly
knowing from what feeling they flowed. I entered a coffee-house close
by, and placing myself at a table, I buried my face between my hands,
as though I would turn my eyes inward to ascertain what was passing in
my heart. Still, I dared not recall what I had heard the moment
before. I strove to look upon it as a dream; and was more than once on
the point of returning to my lodgings, determined to attach no
importance to what I had heard.
"It appeared to me so impossible that Manon could have been unfaithful,
that I feared even to wrong her by a suspicion. I adored her--that was
too certain; I had not on my part given her more proofs of my love than
I had received of hers; why then should I charge her with being less
sincere and constant than myself? What reason could she have to
deceive me? Not three hours before, she had lavished upon me the most
tender caresses, and had received mine with transport: I knew her heart
as thoroughly as my own. 'No, no!' I said, 'it is not possible that
Manon can have deceived me. She well knows that I live but for her;
that I adore her: upon that point I can have no reason to be unhappy.'
"Notwithstanding these reflections, the visit of M. de B----, and his
secret departure, gave me some uneasiness. I remembered, too, the
little purchases she had lately made, which seemed beyond our present
means. This looked like the liberality of a new lover. And the
confidence with which she had foretold resources which were to me
unknown? I had some difficulty in solving these mysteries in as
favourable a manner as my heart desired.
"On the other hand, she had been hardly out of my sight since we
entered Paris. However occupied, in our walks, in all our amusements,
she was ever at my side. Heavens! even a momentary separation would
have been too painful. I could not therefore imagine how Manon could,
to any other person, have devoted a single instant.
"At last I thought I had discovered a clue to the mystery. 'M. de
B----' said I to myself, 'is a man extensively engaged in commercial
affairs; and Manon's relations have no doubt remitted her money through
his house. She has probably already received some from him, and he is
come today to bring her more. She wishes, perhaps, to derive amusement
by and by, from an agreeable surprise, by keeping me at present in the
dark. She would doubtless have at once told me all, if I had gone in
as usual, instead of coming here to distress myself: at all events, she
will not conceal it from me when I broach the subject myself.'
"I cherished this idea so willingly, that it considerably lightened my
grief. I immediately returned to my lodgings, and embraced Manon as
tenderly as ever. She received me as usual. At first I was tempted to
mention my conjectures, which I now, more than ever, looked upon as
certain; but I restrained myself in the hope that she might render it
unnecessary by informing me of all that had passed.
"Supper was served. Assuming an air of gaiety, I took my seat at
table; but by the light of the candles which were between us, I fancied
I perceived an air of melancholy about the eyes and countenance of my
beloved mistress. The very thought soon damped my gaiety. I remarked
that her looks wore an unusual expression, and although nothing could
be more soft or languishing, I was at a loss to discover whether they
conveyed more of love than of compassion. I gazed at her with equal
earnestness, and she perhaps had no less difficulty in comprehending
from my countenance what was passing in my heart. We neither spoke nor
ate. At length I saw tears starting from her beauteous
eyes--perfidious tears! 'Oh heavens!' I cried, 'my dearest Manon, why
allow your sorrows to afflict you to this degree without imparting
their cause to me?' She answered me only with sighs, which increased
my misery. I arose trembling from my seat: I conjured her, with all
the urgent earnestness of love, to let me know the cause of her grief:
I wept in endeavouring to soothe her sorrows: I was more dead than
alive. A barbarian would have pitied my sufferings as I stood
trembling with grief and apprehension.
"While my attention was thus confined to her, I heard people coming
upstairs. They tapped gently at the door. Manon gave me a kiss, and
escaping from my arms, quickly entered the boudoir, turning the key
after her. I imagined that, not being dressed to receive strangers,
she was unwilling to meet the persons who had knocked; I went to let
them in.
"I had hardly opened the door, when I found myself seized by three men,
whom I recognised as my father's servants. They offered not the least
violence, but two of them taking me by the arms, the third examined my
pockets, and took out a small knife, the only weapon I had about me.
They begged pardon for the necessity they were under of treating me
with apparent disrespect; telling me frankly that they were acting by
the orders of my father, and that my eldest brother was in a carriage
below waiting to receive me. My feelings were so overpowered, that I
allowed myself to be led away without making either reply or
resistance. I found my brother waiting for me as they had stated.