Maria; Or, The Wrongs of Woman
discovered in myself a capacity for the enjoyment of the various
pleasures existence affords; yet, fettered by the partial laws of
society, this fair globe was to me an universal blank.
“When I exhorted my husband to economy, I referred to himself. I was
obliged to practise the most rigid, or contract debts, which I had too
much reason to fear would never be paid. I despised this paltry
privilege of a wife, which can only be of use to the vicious or
inconsiderate, and determined not to increase the torrent that was
bearing him down. I was then ignorant of the extent of his fraudulent
speculations, whom I was bound to honour and obey.
“A woman neglected by her husband, or whose manners form a striking
contrast with his, will always have men on the watch to soothe and
flatter her. Besides, the forlorn state of a neglected woman, not
destitute of personal charms, is particularly interesting, and rouses
that species of pity, which is so near akin, it easily slides into
love. A man of feeling thinks not of seducing, he is himself seduced by
all the noblest emotions of his soul. He figures to himself all the
sacrifices a woman of sensibility must make, and every situation in
which his imagination places her, touches his heart, and fires his
passions. Longing to take to his bosom the shorn lamb, and bid the
drooping buds of hope revive, benevolence changes into passion: and
should he then discover that he is beloved, honour binds him fast,
though foreseeing that he may afterwards be obliged to pay severe
damages to the man, who never appeared to value his wife’s society,
till he found that there was a chance of his being indemnified for the
loss of it.
“Such are the partial laws enacted by men; for, only to lay a stress on
the dependent state of a woman in the grand question of the comforts
arising from the possession of property, she is [even in this article]
much more injured by the loss of the husband’s affection, than he by
that of his wife; yet where is she, condemned to the solitude of a
deserted home, to look for a compensation from the woman, who seduces
him from her? She cannot drive an unfaithful husband from his house,
nor separate, or tear, his children from him, however culpable he may
be; and he, still the master of his own fate, enjoys the smiles of a
world, that would brand her with infamy, did she, seeking consolation,
venture to retaliate.
“These remarks are not dictated by experience; but merely by the
compassion I feel for many amiable women, the _outlaws_ of the world.
For myself, never encouraging any of the advances that were made to me,
my lovers dropped off like the untimely shoots of spring. I did not
even coquet with them; because I found, on examining myself, I could
not coquet with a man without loving him a little; and I perceived that
I should not be able to stop at the line of what are termed _innocent
freedoms_, did I suffer any. My reserve was then the consequence of
delicacy. Freedom of conduct has emancipated many women’s minds; but my
conduct has most rigidly been governed by my principles, till the
improvement of my understanding has enabled me to discern the fallacy
of prejudices at war with nature and reason.
“Shortly after the change I have mentioned in my husband’s conduct, my
uncle was compelled by his declining health, to seek the succour of a
milder climate, and embark for Lisbon. He left his will in the hands of
a friend, an eminent solicitor; he had previously questioned me
relative to my situation and state of mind, and declared very freely,
that he could place no reliance on the stability of my husband’s
professions. He had been deceived in the unfolding of his character; he
now thought it fixed in a train of actions that would inevitably lead
to ruin and disgrace.
“The evening before his departure, which we spent alone together, he
folded me to his heart, uttering the endearing appellation of
‘child.’—My more than father! why was I not permitted to perform the
last duties of one, and smooth the pillow of death? He seemed by his
manner to be convinced that he should never see me more; yet requested
me, most earnestly, to come to him, should I be obliged to leave my
husband. He had before expressed his sorrow at hearing of my pregnancy,
having determined to prevail on me to accompany him, till I informed
him of that circumstance. He expressed himself unfeignedly sorry that
any new tie should bind me to a man whom he thought so incapable of
estimating my value; such was the kind language of affection.
“I must repeat his own words; they made an indelible impression on my
mind:
“‘The marriage state is certainly that in which women, generally
speaking, can be most useful; but I am far from thinking that a woman,
once married, ought to consider the engagement as indissoluble
(especially if there be no children to reward her for sacrificing her
feelings) in case her husband merits neither her love, nor esteem.
Esteem will often supply the place of love; and prevent a woman from
being wretched, though it may not make her happy. The magnitude of a
sacrifice ought always to bear some proportion to the utility in view;
and for a woman to live with a man, for whom she can cherish neither
affection nor esteem, or even be of any use to him, excepting in the
light of a house-keeper, is an abjectness of condition, the enduring of
which no concurrence of circumstances can ever make a duty in the sight
of God or just men. If indeed she submits to it merely to be maintained
in idleness, she has no right to complain bitterly of her fate; or to
act, as a person of independent character might, as if she had a title
to disregard general rules.
“But the misfortune is, that many women only submit in appearance, and
forfeit their own respect to secure their reputation in the world. The
situation of a woman separated from her husband, is undoubtedly very
different from that of a man who has left his wife. He, with lordly
dignity, has shaken of a clog; and the allowing her food and raiment,
is thought sufficient to secure his reputation from taint. And, should
she have been inconsiderate, he will be celebrated for his generosity
and forbearance. Such is the respect paid to the master-key of
property! A woman, on the contrary, resigning what is termed her
natural protector (though he never was so, but in name) is despised and
shunned, for asserting the independence of mind distinctive of a
rational being, and spurning at slavery.’
“During the remainder of the evening, my uncle’s tenderness led him
frequently to revert to the subject, and utter, with increasing warmth,
sentiments to the same purport. At length it was necessary to say
‘Farewell!’—and we parted—gracious God! to meet no more.”
CHAPTER 11
“A gentleman of large fortune and of polished manners, had lately
visited very frequently at our house, and treated me, if possible, with
more respect than Mr. Venables paid him; my pregnancy was not yet
visible, his society was a great relief to me, as I had for some time
past, to avoid expence, confined myself very much at home. I ever
disdained unnecessary, perhaps even prudent concealments; and my
husband, with great ease, discovered the amount of my uncle’s parting
present. A copy of a writ was the stale pretext to extort it from me;
and I had soon reason to believe that it was fabricated for the
purpose. I acknowledge my folly in thus suffering myself to be
continually imposed on. I had adhered to my resolution not to apply to
my uncle, on the part of my husband, any more; yet, when I had received
a sum sufficient to supply my own wants, and to enable me to pursue a
plan I had in view, to settle my younger brother in a respectable
employment, I allowed myself to be duped by Mr. Venables’ shallow
pretences, and hypocritical professions.
“Thus did he pillage me and my family, thus frustrate all my plans of
usefulness. Yet this was the man I was bound to respect and esteem: as
if respect and esteem depended on an arbitrary will of our own! But a
wife being as much a man’s property as his horse, or his ass, she has
nothing she can call her own. He may use any means to get at what the
law considers as his, the moment his wife is in possession of it, even
to the forcing of a lock, as Mr. Venables did, to search for notes in
my writing-desk—and all this is done with a show of equity, because,
forsooth, he is responsible for her maintenance.
“The tender mother cannot _lawfully_ snatch from the gripe of the
gambling spendthrift, or beastly drunkard, unmindful of his offspring,
the fortune which falls to her by chance; or (so flagrant is the
injustice) what she earns by her own exertions. No; he can rob her with
impunity, even to waste publicly on a courtezan; and the laws of her
country—if women have a country—afford her no protection or redress
from the oppressor, unless she have the plea of bodily fear; yet how
many ways are there of goading the soul almost to madness, equally
unmanly, though not so mean? When such laws were framed, should not
impartial lawgivers have first decreed, in the style of a great
assembly, who recognized the existence of an _être suprême_, to fix the
national belief, that the husband should always be wiser and more
virtuous than his wife, in order to entitle him, with a show of
justice, to keep this idiot, or perpetual minor, for ever in bondage.
But I must have done—on this subject, my indignation continually runs
away with me.
“The company of the gentleman I have already mentioned, who had a
general acquaintance with literature and subjects of taste, was
grateful to me; my countenance brightened up as he approached, and I
unaffectedly expressed the pleasure I felt. The amusement his
conversation afforded me, made it easy to comply with my husband’s
request, to endeavour to render our house agreeable to him.
“His attentions became more pointed; but, as I was not of the number of
women, whose virtue, as it is termed, immediately takes alarm, I
endeavoured, rather by raillery than serious expostulation, to give a
different turn to his conversation. He assumed a new mode of attack,
and I was, for a while, the dupe of his pretended friendship.
“I had, merely in the style of _badinage_, boasted of my conquest, and
repeated his lover-like compliments to my husband. But he begged me,
for God’s sake, not to affront his friend, or I should destroy all his
projects, and be his ruin. Had I had more affection for my husband, I
should have expressed my contempt of this time-serving politeness: now
I imagined that I only felt pity; yet it would have puzzled a casuist
to point out in what the exact difference consisted.
“This friend began now, in confidence, to discover to me the real state
of my husband’s affairs. ‘Necessity,’ said Mr. S——; why should I reveal
his name? for he affected to palliate the conduct he could not excuse,
‘had led him to take such steps, by accommodation bills, buying goods
on credit, to sell them for ready money, and similar transactions, that
his character in the commercial world was gone. He was considered,’ he
added, lowering his voice, ‘on ‘Change as a swindler.’
“I felt at that moment the first maternal pang. Aware of the evils my
sex have to struggle with, I still wished, for my own consolation, to
be the mother of a daughter; and I could not bear to think, that the
_sins_ of her father’s entailed disgrace, should be added to the ills
to which woman is heir.
“So completely was I deceived by these shows of friendship (nay, I
believe, according to his interpretation, Mr. S—— really was my friend)
that I began to consult him respecting the best mode of retrieving my
husband’s character: it is the good name of a woman only that sets to