Memoirs of Fanny Hill
attention from what he was about. All my drapery being now rolled up to
my waist, I threw myself into such a posture upon the couch, as gave up
to him, in full view, the whole region of delight, and all the
luxurious landscape around it. The transported youth devoured every
thing with his eyes, and tried, with his fingers, to lay more open to
his sight the secrets of that dark and delicious deep: he opens the
folding lips, the softness of which, yielding entry to any thing of a
hard body, close round it, and oppose the sight; and feeling further,
meets with, and wonder at, a soft fleshy excrescence, which, limber and
relaxed after the late enjoyment, now grew, under the touch and
examination of his fiery fingers, more and more stiff and considerable,
till the titillating ardours of that so sensible part made me sigh, as
if he had hurt me; on which he withdrew his curious probing fingers,
asking me pardon, as it were, in a kiss that rather increased the flame
there.
Novelty ever makes the strongest impressions, and in pleasures,
especially; no wonder then, that he was swallowed up in raptures of
admiration of things so interesting by their nature, and now seen and
handled for the first time. On my part, I was richly overpaid for the
pleasure I gave him, in that of examining the power of those objects
thus abandoned to him, naked and free to his loosest wish, over the
artless, natural stripling: his eyes streaming fire, his cheeks glowing
with a florid red, his fervid frequent sighs, whilst his hands
convulsively squeezed, opened, pressed together again the lips and
sides of that deep flesh wound, or gently twitched the over-growing
moss; and all proclaimed the excess, the riot of joys, in having his
wantonness thus humoured. But he did not long abuse my patience, for
the objects before him had now put him by all his, and, coming out with
that formidable machine of his, he lets the fury loose, and pointing it
directly to the pouting-lip mouth, that bid him sweet defiance in dumb
shew, squeezes in his head, and, driving with refreshed rage, breaks
in, and plugs up the whole passage of that soft pleasure-conduit pipe,
where he makes all shake again, and put, once more, all within me into
such an uproar, as nothing could still, but a fresh inundation from the
very engine of those flames, as well as from all the springs with which
nature floats that reservoir of joy, when risen to its floodmark.
I was now so bruised, so battered, so spent with this overmatch, that I
could hardly stir, or raise myself, but lay palpitating, till the
ferment of my senses subsiding by degrees, and the hour striking at
which I was obliged to dispatch my young man, I tenderly advised him of
the necessity there was for parting; at which I felt so much
displeasure as he could do, who seemed eagerly disposed to keep the
field, and to enter on a fresh action. But the danger was too great,
and after some hearty kisses of leave, and recommendations of secrecy
and discretion, I forced myself to send him away, not without
assurances of seeing him again, to the same purpose, as soon as
possible, and thrust a guinea into his hands: not more, less, being too
flush of money, a suspicion or discovery might arise from thence;
having everything to fear from the dangerous indiscretion of that age
in which young fellows would be too irresistible, too charming, if we
had not that terrible fault to guard against.
Giddy and intoxicated as I was with such satiating draughts of
pleasure, I still lay on the couch, supinely stretched out, in a
delicious languor diffused over all my limbs, hugging myself for being
thus revenged to my heart’s content, and that in a manner so precisely
alike, and on the identical spot in which I had received the supposed
injury. No reflections on the consequences ever once perplexed me, nor
did I make myself one single reproach for having, by this step,
completely entered myself into a profession more decried than disused.
I should have held it ingratitude to the pleasure I had received, to
have repented of it; and since I was now over the bar, I thought, by
plunging head and ears into the stream I was hurried away by, to drown
all sense of shame or reflection.
Whilst I was thus making these laudable dispositions, and whispering to
myself a kind of tacit vow of incontinency, enters Mr. H... The
consciousness of what I had been doing deepened yet the glowing of my
cheeks, flushed with the warmth of the late action, which, joined to
the piquant air of my dishabile, drew from Mr. H.... a compliment on my
looks, which he was proceeding to bask the sincerity of with proofs,
and that with so brisk an action, as made me tremble for fear of a
discovery from the condition those parts were left in from their late
severe handling: the orifice dilated and inflamed, the lips swollen
with their uncommon distension, the ringlets pressed down, crushed and
uncurled with the over flowing moisture that had wet everything round
it; in short, the different feel and state of things would hardly have
passed upon one of Mr. H.....’s nicety and experience unaccounted for
but by the real cause. But here the woman saved me: I pretended a
violent disorder of my head, and a feverish heat, that indisposed me
too much to receive his embraces. He gave in to this, and good
naturedly desisted. Soon after, an old lady coming in made a third,
very apropos for the confusion I was in, and Mr. H...., after bidding
me take care of myself, and recommending me to my repose, left me much
at ease and relieved by his absence.
In the close of the evening, I took care to have prepared for me a warm
bath of aromatik and sweet herbs; in which having fully laved and
solaced myself, I came out voluptuously refreshed in body and spirit.
The next morning waking pretty early, after a night’s perfect rest and
composure, it was not without some dread and uneasiness that I thought
of what innovation that tender soft system of mine might have
sustained, from the shock of a machine so sized for its destruction.
Struck with this apprehension, I scarce dared to carry my hand thither,
to inform myself of the state and posture of things.
But I was soon agreeably cured of my fears.
The silky hair that covered round the borders, now smoothed and
re-pruned, had resumed its wonted curl and trimness; the fleshy pouting
lips that had stood the brunt of the engagement, were no longer swollen
or moisture-drenched; and neither they, nor the passage into which they
opened, that had suffered so great a dilation, betrayed any the least
alteration, outwardly or inwardly, to the most curious research,
notwithstanding the laxity that naturally follows the warm bath.
This continuation of that grateful stricture which is in us, to the
men, the very jet of their pleasure, I owed, it seems, to a happy habit
of body, juicy, plump and furnished, towards the texture of those
parts, with a fullness of soft springy flesh, that yielding
sufficiently, as it does, to almost any distension soon recovers itself
so as to re-tighten that strict compression of its mantlings and folds,
which form the sides of the passage, wherewith it so tenderly embraces
and closely clips any foreign body introduced into it, such as my
exploring finger then was.
Finding then every thing in due tone and order, I remember my fears,
only to make a jest of them to myself. And now, palpably mistress of
any size of man, and triumphing in my double achievement of pleasure
and revenge, I abandoned myself entirely to the ideas of all the
delight I had swam in. I lay stretching out, glowingly alive all over,
and tossing with burning impatience for the renewal of joys that had
sinned but in a sweet excess; nor did I lose my longing, for about ten
in the morning, according to expectation, Will, my new humble
sweetheart, came with a message from his master, Mr. H...., to know how
I did. I had taken care to send my maid on an errand into the city,
that I was sure would take up time enough; and, from the people of the
house, I had nothing to fear, as they were plain good sort of folks,
and wise enough to mind no more other people’s business than they could
well help.
All dispositions then made, not forgetting that of lying in bed to
receive him, when he was entered the door of my bed chamber, a latch,
that I governed by a wire, descended and secured it.
I could not but observe that my young minion was as much spruced out as
could be expected from one in his condition: a desire of pleasing that
could not be indifferent to me, since it proved that I pleased him;
which, I assure you, was now a point I was not above having in view.
His hair trimly dressed, clean linen, and, above all, a hale, ruddy,
wholesome country look, made him out as pretty a piece of woman’s meat
as you could see, and I should have thought any one much out of taste,
that could not have made a hearty meal of such a morsel as nature
seemed to have designed for the highest diet of pleasure.
And why should I here suppress the delight I received from this amiable
creature, in remarking each artless look, each motion of pure
indissembled nature, betrayed by his wanton eyes; or shewing,
transparently, the glow and suffusion of blood through his fresh, clear
skin, whilst even his stury rustic pressure wanted not their peculiar
charm? Oh! but, say you, this was a young fellow of too low a rank of
life to deserve so great a display. May be so: but was my condition,
strictly considered, one jot more exalted? or, had I really been much
above him, did not his capacity of giving such exquisite pleasure
sufficiently raise and enoble him, to me, at least? Let who would, for
me cherish, respect, and reward the painter’s, the statuary’s, the
musician’s art, in proportion to the delight taken in them: but at my
age, and with my taste for pleasure, a taste strongly constitutional to
me, the talent of pleasing, with which nature has endowed a handsome
person, formed to me the greatest of all merits; compared to which, the
vulgar prejudices in favour of titles, dignities, honours, and the
like, held a very low rank indeed. Nor perhaps would the beauties of
the body be so much affected to be held cheap, were they, in their
nature, to be bought and delivered. But for me, whose natural
philosophy all resided in the favourite center of sense, and who was
ruled by its powerful instinct in taking pleasure by its right handle,
I could scarce have made a choice more to my purpose.
Mr. H....’s loftier qualifications of birth, fortune and sense, laid me
under a sort of subjection and constraint, that were far from making
harmony in the concert of love; nor had he, perhaps, thought me worth
softening that superiority to; but, with this lad, I was more on the
level which love delights in.
We may say what we please, but those we can be the easiest and freest
with, are ever those we like, not to say love the best.
With this stripling, all whose art of love was the action of it, I
could, without check of awe or restraint, give a loose to jay, and
execute every scheme of dalliance my fond fancy might put me on, in
which he was, in every sense, a most exquisite companion. And now my
great pleasure lay in humouring all the petulances, all the wanton
frolic of a raw novice just fledged, and keen on the burning scent of
his game, but unbroken to the sport: and, to carry on the figure, who
could better read the wood than he, or stand fairer for the heart of
the hunt?
He advanced then to my bed side, and whilst he faultered out his
message, I could observe his colour rise, and his eyes lighten with
joy, in seeing me in a situation as favourable to his loosest wishes,
as if he had bespoke the play.
I smiled, and put out my hand towards him, which he kneeled down to (a