Memoirs of Fanny Hill
politeness taught him by love alone, that great master of it) and
greedily kissed. After exchanging a few confused questions and answers,
I asked him if he would come to bed to me, for the little time I could
venture to detain him. This was just asking a person, dying with
hunger, to feast upon the dish on earth the most to his palate.
Accordingly, without further reflection, his clothes were off in an
instant; when, blushing still more at this new liberty, he got under
the bed clothes I held up to receive him, and was now in bed with a
woman for the first time in his life.
Here began the usual tender preliminaries, as delicious, perhaps, as
the crowning act of enjoyment itself; which they often beget an
impatience of, that makes pleasure destructive of itself, by hurrying
on the final period, and closing that scene of bliss, in which the
actors are generally too well pleased with their parts, not to wish
them an eternity of duration.
When we had sufficiently graduated our advances towards the main point,
by toying, kissing, clipping, feeling my breasts, now round and plump,
feeling that part of me I might call a furnace mouth, from the
prodigious intense heat his fiery touches had rekindled there, my young
sportsman, emboldened by the very freedom he could wish, wontonly takes
my hand, and carries it to that enormous machine of his, that stood
with a stiffness! a hardness! an upward bend of erection! and which,
together with it bottom dependence, the inestimable bulse of ladies
jewels, formed a grand showout of goods indeed! Then its dimensions,
mocking either grasp or span, almost renewed my terrors.
I could not conceive how, or by what means I could take, or put such a
bulk out of sight. I stroked it gently, on which the mutinous rogue
seemed to swell, and gather a new degree of fierceness and insolence;
so that finding it grew not to be trifled with any longer, I prepared
for rubbers in good earnest.
Slipping then a pillow under me, that I might give him the fairest
play, I guided officiously with my hand this furious battering ram,
whose ruby head, presenting nearest the resemblance of a heart, I
applied to its proper mark, which lay as finely elevated as we could
wish; my hips being borne up, and my thighs at their utmost extension,
the gleamy warmth that shot from it, made him feel that he was at the
mouth of the indraught, and driving fore right, the powerfully divided
lips of that pleasure-thirsty channel received him. He hesitated a
little; then, settled well in the passage, he makes his way up the
straights of it, with a difficulty nothing more than pleasing, widening
as he went so as to distend and smooth each soft furrow: our pleasure
increasing deliciously, in proportion to our points of mutual touch
increased in that so vital part of me which I had now taken him, all
indriven, and completely sheathed; and which, crammed as it was,
stretched splitting ripe, gave it so gratefully straight an
accommodation! so strict a fold! a suction so fierce! that gave and
took unutterable delight. We had now reached the closest point of
union; but when he beckened to come on the fiercer, as if I had ben
actuated by a fear of losing him, in the height of my fury, I twist my
legs round his naked loins, the flesh of which, so firm, so springy to
the touch, quivered again under the pressure; and now I had him every
way encircled and begirt; and having drawn him home to me, I kept him
fast there, as if I had sought to unite bodies with him at that point.
This bred a pause of action, a pleasure stop, whilst that delicate
glutton, my nether mouth, as full as it could hold, kept palating, with
exquisite relish, the morsel that so deliciously ingorged it. But
nature could not long endure a pleasure that it so highly provoked
without satisfying it: pursuing then its darling end, the battery
recommenced with redoubled exertion; nor lay I inactive on my side, but
encountering him with all the impetuosity of motion I was mistress of,
the downy cloth of our meeting mount was now of real use to break the
violence of the tilt; and soon, indeed! the highwrought agitation, the
sweet urgency of this to-and-fro friction, raised the titillation on me
to its height; so that finding myself on the point of going, and loath
to leave the tender partner of my joys behind me, I employed all the
forwarding motions and arts my experience suggested to me, to promote
his keeping me company to our journey’s end. I not only then tightened
the pleasure-girth round my restless inmate, by a secret spring of
friction and compression that obeys the will in those parts, but stole
my hand softly to that store bag of nature’s prime sweets, which is so
pleasingly attached to its conduit pipe, from which we receive them;
there feeling, and most gently indeed, squeezing those tender globular
reservoirs, the magic touch took instant effect, quickened, and brought
on upon the spur the symptoms of that sweet agony, the melting moment
of dissolution, when pleasure dies by pleasure, and the mysterious
engine of it overcomes the titillation it has raised in those parts, by
plying them with the stream of a warm liquid, that in itself the
highest of all titillations, and which they thirstily express and draw
in like the hot natured leach, which, to cool itself, tenaciously
extracts all the moisture within its sphere of execution. Chiming then
to me, with exquisite consent, as I melted away, his oily balsamic
injection, mixing deliciously with the sluices in flow from me,
sheathed and blunted all the stings of pleasure, whilst a voluptuous
languor possest, and still maintained us motionless, and fast locked in
one another’s arms. Alas! that these delights should be no
longer-lived; for now the point of pleasure, unedged by enjoyment, and
all the brisk sensations flattened upon us, resigned us up to the cool
cares of insipid life. Disengaging myself then from his embrace, I made
him sensible of the reasons there were for his present leaving me; on
which, though reluctantly, he put on his clothes, with as little
expedition, however, as he could help, wantonly interrupting himself,
between whiles, with kisses, touches and embraces I could not refuse
myself to. Yet he happily returned to his master before he was missed;
but, at taking leave, I forced him (for he had sentiments enough to
refuse it) to receive money enough to buy a silver watch, that great
article of subaltern finery, which he at length accepted of, as a
remembrance he was carefully to preserve of my affections.
And here, Madam, I ought, perhaps, to make you an apology for this
minute detail of things, that dwelt so strongly upon my memory, after
so deep an impression; but, besides that this intrigue bred one great
revolution in my life, which historical truth requires I should not
sink from you, may I not presume that so exalted a pleasure ought not
to be ungratefully forgotten, or suppressed by me, because I found it
in a character in low life; where, by the by, it is oftener met with,
purer, and more unsophisticated, than among the false, ridiculous
refinements with which the great suffer themselves to be so grossly
cheated by their pride: the great! than whom, there exist few amongst
those they call the vulgar, who are more ignorant of, or who cultivate
less, the art of living than they do; they, I say, who for ever mistake
things the most foreign to the nature of pleasure itself; whose capital
favourite object is enjoyment of beauty, wherever that rare invaluable
gift is found, without distinction of birth, or station.
As love never had, so now revenge had no longer any share in my
commerce in this handsome youth. The sole pleasures of enjoyment were
now the link I held to him by: for though nature had done such great
maters for him in his outward form, and especially in that superb piece
of furniture she had so liberally enriched him with; though he was thus
qualified to give the senses their richest feast, still there was
something more wanting to create in me, and constitute the passion of
love. Yet Will had very good qualities too: gentle, tractable, and,
above all, grateful; silentious, even to a fault: he spoke, at any
time, very little, but made it up emphatically with action; and, to do
him justice, he never gave me the least reason to complain, either of
any tendency to encroach upon me for the liberties I allowed him, or of
his indiscretion in blabbing them. There is, then, a fatality in love,
or have loved him I must; for he was really a treasure, a bit for the
Bonne Bouche of a duchess; and, to say the truth, my liking for him was
so extreme, that it was distinguishing very nicely to deny that I loved
him.
My happiness, however, with him did not last long, but found an end
from my own imprudent neglect. After having taken even superfluous
precautions against a discovery, our success in repeated meetings
emboldened me to omit the barely necessary ones. About a month after
our first intercourse, one fatal morning (the season Mr. H.... rarely
or never visited me in) I was in my closet, where my toilet stood, in
nothing but my shift, a bed gown and under petticoat. Will was with me,
and both ever too well disposed to baulk an opportunity. For my part, a
whim, a wanton toy had just taken me, and I had challenged my man to
execute it on the spot, who hesitated not to comply with my humour: I
was set in the arm chair, my shift and petticoat up, my thighs wide
spread and mounted over the arms of the chair, presenting the fairest
mark to Will’s drawn weapon, which he stood in act to plunge into me,
when, having neglected to secure the chamber door, and that of the
closet standing a-jar, Mr. H.... stole in upon us, before either of us
was aware, and saw us precisely in these convicting attitudes.
I gave a great scream, and dropped my petticoat: the thunder-struck lad
stood trembling and pale, waiting his sentence of death. Mr. H....
looked sometimes at one, sometimes at the other, with a mixture of
indignation and scorn; and, without saying a word, spun upon his heel
and went out.
As confused as I was, I heard him very distinctly turn the key, and
lock the chamber door upon us, so that there was no escape but through
the dining room, where he himself was walking about with distempered
strides, stamping in a great chafe, and doubtless debating what he
would do with us.
In the mean time, poor William was frightened out of his senses, and,
as much need as I had of spirits myself, I was obliged to employ them
all to keep his a little up. The misfortune I had now brought upon him,
endeared him the more to me, and I could have joyfully suffered any
punishment he had not shared in. I watered, plentifully, with my tears,
the face of the frightened youth, who sat, not having strength to
stand, as cold and as lifeless as a statue.
Presently Mr. H.... comes in to us again, and made us go before him
into the dining room, trembling and dreading the issue, Mr. H.....sat
down on a chair whilst we stood like criminals under examination; and,
beginning with me, asked me, with an even firm tone of voice, neither
soft nor severe, but cruelly indifferent, what I could say for myself,
for having abused him in so unworthy a manner, with his own servant
too, and how he had deserved this of me?
Without adding to the guilt of my infidelity, that of an audacious
defence of it, in the old style of a common kept miss, my answer was
modest, and often interrupted by my tears, in substance as follows:
“That I never had a single thought of wronging him” (which was true),
“till I had seen him taking the last liberties with my servant wench”
(here he coloured prodigiously), “and that my resentment at that, which
I was over-awed from giving vent to by complaints, or explanations with