Memoirs of Fanny Hill
good, with all the advantages requisite to put my person out to use,
either for interest or pleasure, or both. “But then,” she observed, “as
I was a kind of new face upon the town, that is, was an established
rule, and part of trade, for me to pass for a maid and dispose of
myself as such on the first good occasion, without prejudice, however,
to such diversions as I might have a mind to in the interim; for that
nobody could be a greater enemy than she was to the losing of time.
That she would, in the mean time, do her best to find out a proper
person, and would undertake to manage this nice point for me, if I
would accept of her aid and advice to such good purpose, that, in the
loss of a fictitious maidenhead, I should reap all the advantages of a
native one.”
As too great a delicacy of sentiments did not extremely belong to my
character at that time, I confess, against myself, that I perhaps too
readily closed with a proposal which my candor and ingenuity gave me
some repugnance to: but not enough to contradict the intention of one
to whom I had now thoroughly abandoned the direction of all my steps.
For Mrs. Cole had, I do not know how unless by one of those
unaccountable invincible sympathies that, nevertheless, from the
strongest links, especially of female friendship, won and got entire
possession of me. On her side, she pretended that a strict resemblance,
she fancied she saw in me, to an only daughter whom she had lost at my
age, was the first motive of her taking to me so affectionately as she
did. It might be so: there exist a slender motives of attachment, that,
gathering force from habit and liking, have proved often more solid and
durable than those founded on much stronger reasons; but this I know,
that though I had no other acquaintance with her, than seeing her at my
lodgings, when I lived with Mr. H..., where she had made errands to
sell me some millinery ware, she had by degrees insinuated herself so
far into my confidence, that I threw myself blindly into her hands, and
came, at length, to regard, love, and obey her implicitly; and, to do
her justice, I never experienced at her hands other than a sincerity of
tenderness, and care for my interest, hardly heard of in those of her
profession. We parted that night, after having settled a perfect
unreserved agreement; and the next morning Mrs. Cole came, and took me
with her to her house for the first time.
Here, at the first sight of things, I found every thing breathe an air
of decency, modesty and order.
In the outer parlour, or rather shop, sat three young women, rather
demurely employed on millinery work, which was the cover of a traffic
in more precious commodities; but three beautifuller creatures could
hardly be seen. Two of them were extremely fair, the eldest not above
nineteen; and the third, much about that age, was a piquant brunette,
whose black sparking eyes, and perfect harmony of features and shape,
left her nothing to envy in her fairer companions. Their dress too had
the more design in it, the less it appeared to have, being in a taste
of uniform correct neatness, and elegant simplicity. These were the
girls that composed the small domestic flock, which my governess
trained up with surprising order and management, considering the giddy
wildness of young girls once got upon the loose. But then she never
continued any in her house, whom, after a due noviciate, she found
un-tractable, or unwilling to comply with the rules of it. Thus she had
insensibly formed a little family of love, in which the members found
so sensibly their account, in a rare alliance of pleasure and interest,
and of a necessary outward decency, with unbounded secret liberty, that
Mrs. Cole, who had picked them as much for their temper as their
beauty, governed them with ease to herself and them too.
To these pupils then of hers, whom she had prepared, she presented me
as a new boarder, and one that was to be immediately admitted to all
the intimacies of the house; upon which these charming girls gave me
all the marks of a welcome reception, and indeed of being perfectly
pleased with my figure, that I could possibly expect from any of my own
sex: but they had been effectually brought to sacrifice all jealousy,
or competition of charms, to a common interest, and considered me a
partner that was bringing no despicable stock of goods into the trade
of the house. They gathered round me, viewed me on all sides; and as my
admission into this joyous troop made a little holiday, the shew of
work was laid aside; and Mrs. Cole giving me up, with special
recommendation, to their caresses and entertainment, went about her
ordinary business of the house.
The sameness of our sex, age, profession, and views, soon creased as
unreserved a freedom and intimacy as if we had been for years
acquainted. They took and shewed me the house, their respective
apartments, which were furnished with every article of convenience and
luxury; and above all, a spacious drawing-room, where a select
revelling band usually met, in general parties of pleasure; the girls
supping with their sparks, and acting their wanton pranks with
unbounded licentiousness; whilst a defiance of awe, modesty or jealousy
were their standing rules, by which, according to the principles of
their society, whatever pleasure was lost on the side of sentiment, was
abundantly made up to the senses in the poignancy of variety, and the
charms of ease and luxury. The authors and supporters of this secret
institution would, in the height of their humour, style themselves the
restorers of the golden age and its simplicity of pleasures, before
their innocence became so unjustly branded with the names of guilt and
shame.
As soon then as the evening began, and the shew of a shop was shut, the
academy opened; the mask of mock-modesty was completely taken off, and
all the girls delivered over to their respective calls of pleasure or
interest with their men: and none of that sex was promiscuously
admitted, but only such as Mrs. Cole was previously satisfied with
their character and discretion. In short, this was the safest,
politest, and, at the same time, the most thorough house of
accommodation in town: every thing being conducted so, that decency
made no intrenchment upon the most libertine pleasures; in the practice
of which, too, the choice familiars of the house had found the secret
so rare and difficult, of reconciling even all the refinements of taste
and delicacy, with the most gross and determinate gratifications of
sensuality.
After having consumed the morning in the dear endearments and
instructions of my new acquaintance, we went to dinner, when Mrs. Cole,
presiding at the head of her club, gave me the first idea of her
management and address, in inspiring these girls with so sensible a
love and respect for her. There was no stiffness, no reserve, no airs
of pique, or little jealousies, but all was unaffectedly gay, cheerful
and easy.
After dinner, Mrs. Cole, seconded by the young ladies, acquainted me
that there was a chapter to be held that night in form, for the
ceremony of my reception into the sisterhood; and in which, with all
due reserve to my maidenhead, that was to be occasionally cooked up for
the first proper chapman. I was to undergo a ceremonial of initiation
they were sure I should not be displeased with.
Embarked as I was, and moreover captivated with the charms of my new
companions, I was too much prejudiced in favour of any proposal they
could make, to as much as hesitate an assent; which, therefore, readily
giving in the style of a carte blanche, I received fresh kisses of
compliment from them all, in approval of my docility and good nature.
Now I was “a sweet girl... I came into things with a good grace... I
was not affectedly coy... I should be the pride of the house,” and the
like.
This point thus adjusted, the young women left Mrs. Cole to talk and
concert matters with me, when she explained to me, that “I should be
introduced that very evening, to four of her best friends, one of whom
she had, according to the custom of the house, favoured with the
preference of engaging me in the first party of pleasure;” assuring me,
at the same time, “that they were all young gentlemen agreeable in
their persons, and unexceptionable in every respect; that united, and
holding together by the band of common pleasures, they composed the
chief support of her house, and made very liberal presents to the girls
that pleased and humoured them, so that they were, properly speaking,
the founders and patrons of this little seraglio. Not but that she had,
at proper seasons, other customers to deal with, whom she stood less
upon punctilio with, than with these; for instance, it was not on one
of them she could attempt to pass me for a maid; they were not only too
knowing, too much town-bred to bite at such a bait, but they were such
generous benefactors to her, that it would be unpardonable to think of
it.”
Amidst all the flutter and emotion which this promise of pleasure, for
such I conceived it, stirred up in me, I preserved so much of the
woman, as to feign just reluctance enough to make some merit, of
sacrificing it to the influence of my patroness, whom I likewise, still
in character, reminded of it perhaps being right for me to go home and
dress, in favour of my first impressions.
But Mrs. Cole, in opposition to this, assured me, “that the gentlemen I
should be presented to were, by their rank and taste of things,
infinitely superior to the being touched with any glare of dress or
ornaments, such slick women rather confound and overlay than set off
their beauty with; that these veteran voluptuaries knew better than not
to hold them in the highest contempt: they with whom the pure native
charms alone could pass current, and who would at any time leave a
sallow, washy, painted duchess on her own hands, for a ruddy, healthy
firm fleshed country maid; and as for my part, that nature had done
enough for me, to set me above owing the least favour to art;”
concluding withal, that for the instant occasion, there was no dress
like an undress.
I thought my governess too good a judge of these matters, not to be
easily overruled by her: after which she went on preaching very
pathetically the doctrine of passive obedience and non-resistance to
all those arbitrary tastes of pleasure, which are by some styled the
refinements, and by others the depravations of it; between whom it was
not the business of a simple girl, who was to profit by pleasing, to
decide, but to conform to. Whilst I was edifying by these wholesome
lessons, tea was brought in, and the young ladies, returning, joined
company with us.
After a great deal of mixed chat, frolic and humour, one of them,
observing that there would be a good deal of time on and before the
assembly hour, proposed that each girl should entertain the company
with that critical period of her personal history, in which she first
exchanged the maiden state for womanhood. The proposal was approved,
with only one restriction of Mrs. Cole, that she, on account of her
age, and I, on account of my titular maidenhead, should be excused, at
least till I had undergone the forms of the house. This obtained me a
dispensation, and the promotress of this amusement was desired to
begin.
Her name was Emily; a girl fair to excess, and whose limbs were, if
possible, too well made, since their plump fulness was rather to the
prejudice of that delicate slimness required by the nicer judges of
beauty; her eyes were blue, and streamed inexpressible sweetness, and
nothing could be prettier than her mouth and lips, which closed over a
range of the evenest and whitest teeth. Thus she began:
“Neither my extraction, nor the most critical adventure of my life, is