Memoirs of Fanny Hill
for this bout my charms had not missed fire; for by his eagerness, his
manner and looks, she was sure he had it: the only point now in doubt
was his character and circumstances, which her knowledge of the town
would soon gain her the sufficient acquaintance with, to take measure
upon.”
And effectively, in a few hours, her intelligence served her so well,
that she learned that this conquest of mine was no other than Mr.
Norbert, a gentleman originally of great fortune, which, with a
constitution naturally not the best, he had vastly impaired by his
over-violent pursuit of the vices of the town; in the course of which,
having worn out and staled all the more common modes of debauchery, he
had fallen into a taste of maiden-hunting; in which chase he had ruined
a number of girls, sparing no expense to compass his ends, and
generally using them well till tired, or cooled by enjoying, or
springing a new face, he could with more ease disembarrass himself of
the old ones, and resign them to their fate, as his sphere of
achievements of that sort lay only amongst such as he could proceed
with by way of bargain and sale.
Concluding from these premises, Mrs. Cole observed, that a character of
this sort was ever a lawful prize; that the sin would be, not to make
the best of our market of him; and that she thought such a girl as I
only too good for him at any rate, and on any terms.
She went then, at the hour appointed, to his lodgings in one of our
inns of court, which were furnished in a taste of grandeur that had a
special eye to all the conveniences of luxury and pleasure. Here she
found him in ready waiting; and after finishing her business of
pretence, and a long conduit of discussions concerning her trade, which
she said was very bad, the qualities of her servants, apprentices,
journey-women, the discourse naturally landed at length on me, when
Mrs. Cole, acting admirably the good old prating gossip, who lets every
thing escape her when her tongue is set in motion, cooked him up a
story so plausible of me, throwing in every now and then such strokes
of art, with all the simplest air of nature, in praise of my person and
temper, as finished him finely for her purpose, whilst nothing could be
better counterfeited than her innocence of his. But when now fired and
on edge, he proceeded to drop hints of his design and views upon me,
after he had with much confusion and pains brought her to the point
(she kept as long aloof from it as she thought proper) of understanding
him, without now affecting to pass for a dragoness of virtue, by flying
out into those violent and ever suspicious passions, she stuck with the
better grace and effect to the character of a plain, good sort of
woman, that knew no harm, and that getting her bread in an honest way,
was made of stuff easy and flexible enough to be wrought to his ends,
by his superior skill and address; but, however, she managed so
artfully that three or four meetings took place, before he could obtain
the least favourable hope of her assistance; without which, he had, by
a number of fruitless messages, letters, and other direct trials of my
disposition, convinced himself there was no coming at me, all which too
raised at once my character and price with him.
Regardful, however, of not carrying these difficulties to such a length
as might afford time for starting discoveries, or incidents,
unfavourable to her plan, she at last pretended to be won over by mere
dint of entreaties, promises, and, above all, by the dazzling sum she
took care to wind him up to the specification of, when it was now even
a piece of art to feign, at once, a yielding to the allurements of a
great interest, as a pretext for her yielding at all, and the manner of
it such as might persuade him she had never dipped her virtuous fingers
in an affair of that sort.
Thus she led him through all the gradations of difficulty, and
obstacles, necessary to enhance the value of the prize he aimed at; and
in conclusion, he was so struck with the little beauty I was mistress
of, and so eagerly bent on gaining his ends of me, that he left her no
room to boast of her management in bringing him up to her mark, he
drove so plump of himself into every thing tending to make him swallow
the bait. Not but, in other respects, Mr. Norbert was not clear sighted
enough, or that he did not perfectly know the town, and even by
experience, the very branch of imposition now in practice upon him: but
we had his passion our friend so much, he was so blinded and hurried on
by it, that he would have thought any undeception a very ill office
done to his pleasure. Thus concurring, even precipitately, to the point
she wanted him at, Mrs. Cole brought him at last to hug himself on the
cheap bargain he considered the purchase of my imaginary jewel was to
him, at no more than three hundred guineas to myself, and a hundred to
the brokers: being a slender recompense for all her pains, and all the
scruples of conscience she had now sacrificed to him for this first
time of her life; which sums were to be paid down on the nail, upon
delivery of my person, exclusive of some no inconsiderable presents
that had been made in the course of the negociation: during which I had
occasionally, but sparingly been introduced into his company, at proper
times and hours; in which it is incredible how little it seemed
necessary to strain my natural disposition to modesty higher, in order
to pass it upon him for that a very maid: all my looks and gestures
ever breathing nothing but that innocence which the men so ardently
require in us, for no other end than to feast themselves with the
pleasure of destroying it, and which they are so grievously, with all
their skill, subject to mistakes in.
When the articles of the treaty had been fully agreed on, the
stipulated payments duly secured, and nothing now remained but the
execution of the main point, which centered in the surrender of my
person up to his free disposal and use, Mrs. Cole managed her
objections, especially to his lodgings, and insinuations so nicely,
that it became his own mere notion and urgent request, that this copy
of a wedding should be finished at her house: “At first, indeed, she
did not care, not she, to have such doings in it... she would not for a
thousand pounds have any of the servants or apprentices know it... her
precious good name would be gone for ever...,” with the like excuses.
However, on superior objections to all other expedients, whilst she
took care to start none but those which were most liable to them it
came round at last to the necessity of her obliging him in that
conveniency, and of doing a little more where she had already done so
much.
The night then was fixed, with all possible respect to the eagerness of
his impatience, and in the mean time Mrs. Cole had omitted no
instructions, nor even neglected any preparation, that might enable me
to come off with honour, in regard to the appearance of my virginity,
except that, favoured as I was by nature with all the narrowness of
stricture in that part requisite to conduct my designs, I had no
occasion to borrow those auxiliaries of art that create a momentary
one, easily discovered by the test of a warm bath; and as to the usual
sanguinary symptoms of defloration, which, if not always, are generally
attendants on it, Mrs. Cole had made me the mistress of an invention of
her own, which could hardly miss its effect, and of which more in its
place.
Every thing then being disposed and fixed for Mr. Norbert’s reception,
he was, at the hour of eleven at night, with all the mysteries of
silence and secrecy, let in by Mrs. Cole herself, and introduced into
her bedchamber, where, in an old-fashioned bed of her’s, I lay, fully
undressed, and panting, if not with the fears of a real maid, at least
with those perhaps greater of a dissembled one which gave me an air of
confusion and bashfulness that maiden-modesty had all the honour of,
and was indeed scarce distinguishable from it, even by less partial
eyes than those of my lover: so let me call him, for I ever thought the
term “cully” too cruel a reproach to the men, for their abused weakness
for us.
As soon as Mrs. Cole, after the old gossipery, on these occasions, used
to young women abandoned for the first time to the will of man, had
left us alone in her room, which, by the bye was well lighted up, at
his previous desire, that seemed to bode a stricter examination than he
afterwards made, Mr. Norbert, still dressed, sprung towards the bed,
where I got my head under the clothes, and defended them a good while
before he could even get at my lips, to kiss them: so true it is, that
a false virtue, on this occasion, even makes & greater rout and
resistance than a true one. From thence he descended to my breasts, the
feel I disputed tooth and nail with him till tired with my resistance,
and thinking probable to give a better account to me, he hurried his
clothes off in an instant, and came into bed.
Mean while by the glimpse I stole of him, I could easily discover a
person far from promising any such doughty performances as the storming
of maidenheads generally requires, and whose flimsy consumptive texture
gave him more the air of an invalid that was pressed, than of a
volunteer, on such hot service.
At scarce thirty he had already reduced his strength of appetite down
to a wretched dependance on forced provocatives, very little seconded
by the natural power of a body jaded, and racked off to the less by
constant repeated over draughts of pleasure, which had done the work of
sixty winters on his springs of live: leaving him at the same time all
the fire and head of youth in his imagination, which served at once to
torment and spur him down the precipice.
As soon as he was in bed, he threw off the bedclothes, which I suffered
him to force from my hold, and I now lay as exposed as he could wish,
not only to his attacks, but his visitation of the sheets; where in the
various agitations of the body, through my endeavours to defend myself,
he could easily assure himself there was no preparation, though, to do
him justice, he seemed a less strict examinant than I had apprehended
from so experienced a practitioner. My shift then he fairly tore open,
finding I made too much use of it to barricade my breasts, as well as
the more important avenue: yet in every thing else he proceeded with
all the marks of tenderness and regard to me, whilst the art of my play
was to shew none for him, I acted them all the niceties, apprehensions,
and terrors, supposable for a girl perfectly innocent to feel, at so
great a novelty as a naked man in bed with her for the first time. He
scarce even obtained a kiss but what he ravished; I put his hand away
twenty times from my breasts, where he had satisfied himself of their
hardness and consistence, with passing for hitherto unhandled goods.
But when grown impatient upon the main point, he now threw himself upon
me, and first trying to examine me with his finger, sought to make
himself further way, I complained of his usage bitterly: “I thought he
would not have served a body so... I was ruined... I did not know what
I had done..., I would get up, so I would...;” and at the same time
kept my thighs so fast locked, that it was not for strength like his to
force them open, or do any good. Finding thus my advantages, and that I
had both my own and his motions at command, the deceiving him came so
easy, that it was perfectly playing upon velvet. In the mean time his
machine, which was one of those sizes that slip in and out without
being minded, kept pretty stiffly bearing against that part, which the
shutting my thighs barred access to; but finding, at length he could do