Memoirs of Fanny Hill
thickness indeed! the head of it alone filled the utmost capacity of my
grasp. And when, as he heaved and wriggled to and fro, in the agitation
of his strange pleasure, it came into view, it had something of the air
of a round fillet of veal, and like its owner, squab, and short in
proportion to its breadth; but when he felt my hand there, he begged I
would go on briskly with my jerking, or he should never arrive at the
last stage of pleasure.
Resuming then the rode and the exercise of it, I had fairly worn out
three bundles, when, after an increase of struggles and motion, and a
deep sigh or two, I saw him lie still and motionless; and now he
desired me to desist, which I instantly did; and proceeding to untie
him, I could not but be amazed at his passive fortitude, on viewing the
skin of his butchered, mangled posteriors, late so white, smooth and
polished, now all one side of them a confused cut-work of weals, livid
flesh, gashes and gore, insomuch that when he stood up, he could scarce
walk; in short, he was in sweet-briars.
Then I plainly perceived, on the cushion, the marks of a plenteous
effusion, and already had his sluggard member run up to its old
nestling-place, and enforced itself again, as if ashamed to shew its
head; which nothing, it seems, could raise but stripes inflicted on its
opposite neighbours, who were thus constantly obliged to suffer for his
caprice.
My gentleman had now put on his clothes and recomposed himself, when
giving me a kiss, and placing me by him, he sat himself down as
gingerly as possible, with one side off the cushion, which was too sore
for him to bear resting any part of his weight on.
Here he thanked me for the extreme pleasure I had procured him, and
seeing, perhaps, some marks in my countenance of terror and
apprehension of retaliation on my own skin, for what I had been the
instrument of his suffering in his, he assured me, “he was ready to
give up to me any engagement I might deem myself under to stand him, as
he had done me, but that if I proceeding in my consent to it, he would
consider the difference of my sex, its greater delicacy and incapacity
to undergo pain.” Reheartened at which, and piqued in honour, as I
thought, not to flinch so near the trial, especially as I well knew
Mrs. Cole was an eye-witness, from her stand of espial, to the whole of
our transaction, I was now less afraid of my skin, than of his not
furnishing me with an opportunity of signalizing my resolution.
Consonant to this disposition was my answer, but my courage was still
more in my head, than in my heart; and as cowards rush into danger they
fear, in order to be the sooner rid of the pain of that sensation, I
was entirely pleased with his hastening matters into execution.
He had then little to do, but to unloose the strings of my petticoats,
and lift them, together with my shift, navel-high, where he just tucked
them up loosely, and might be slipt up higher at pleasure. Then viewing
me round with great seeming delight, he laid me at length on my face
upon the bench, and when I expected he would tie me, as I had done him,
and held out my hands, not without fear and a little trembling, he told
me, “he would by no means terrify me unnecessarily with such a
confinement; for that though he meant to put my constancy to a trial,
the standing it was to be completely voluntary on my side, and
therefore I might be at full liberty to get up whenever I found the
pain too much for me.” You cannot imagine how much I thought myself
bound, by being thus allowed to remain loose, and how much spirit this
confidence in me gave me, so that I was even from my heart careless how
much my flesh might suffer in honour of it.
All my back parts, naked half way up, were now fully at his mercy: and
first, he stood at a convenient distance, delighting himself with a
gloating survey of the attitude I lay in, and of all the secret stores
I thus exposed to him in fair display. Then, springing eagerly towards
me, he covered all those naked parts with a fond profusion of kisses;
and now, taking hold of the rod, rather wantoned with me, in gentle
inflictions on those tender trembling masses of my flesh behind, than
in any way hurt them, till by degrees, he began to tingle them with
smarter lashes, so as to provoke a red colour into them, which I knew,
as well by the flagrant glow I felt there, as by his telling me, they
now emulated the native roses of my other cheeks. When he had thus
amused himself with admiring, and toying with them, he went on to
strike harder, and more hard, so that I needed all my patience not to
cry out, or complain at least. At last, he twigged me so smartly as to
fetch blood in more than one lash: at sight of which he flung down the
rod, flew to me, kissed away the starting drops, and sucking the wounds
eased a good deal of my pain. But now raising me on my knees, and
making me kneel with them straddling wide, that tender part of me,
naturally the province of pleasure, not of pain, came in for its share
of suffering: for now, eyeing it wistfully, he directed the rod so that
the sharp ends of the twigs lighted there, so sensibly, that I could
not help wincing, and writhing my limbs with smart; so that my
contortions of body must necessarily throw it into infinite variety of
postures and points of view, fit to feast the luxury of the eye. But
still I bore every thing without crying out: when presently giving me
another pause, he rushed, as it were, on that part whose lips, and
round about, had felt this cruelty, and by way of reparation, glued his
own to them; then he opened, shut, squeezed them, plucked softly the
overgrowing moss, and all this in a style of wild passionate rapture
and enthusiasm, that expressed excess of pleasure; till betaking
himself to the rod again, encouraged by my passiveness, and infuriated
with this strange taste of delight, he made my poor posteriors pay for
the ungovernableness of it; for now showing them no quarter, the
traitor cut me so, that I wanted but little of fainting away, when he
gave over. And yet I did not utter one groan, or angry expostulation;
but in my heart I resolved nothing so seriously, as never to expose
myself again to the like severities.
You may guess then in what a curious pickle those soft flesh-cushions
of mine were, all so red, raw, and in fine, terribly clawed off; but so
far from feeling any pleasure in it, that the recent smart made me pout
a little, and not with the greatest air of satisfaction receive the
compliments, and after-caresses of the author of my pain.
As soon as my clothes were huddled on in a little decency, a supper was
brought in by the discreet Mrs. Cole herself, which might have piqued
the sensuality of a cardinal, accompanied with a choice of the richest
wines: all which she set before us, and went out again, without having,
by a word or even by a smile, given us the least interruption or
confusion, in those moments of secrecy, that we were not yet ripe to
the admission of a third too.
I sat down then, still scarce in charity with my butcher, for such I
could not help considering him, and was moreover not a little piqued at
the gay, satisfied air of his countenance, which I thought myself
insulted by. But when the now necessary refreshment to me of a glass of
wine, and a little eating (all the time observing a profound silence)
had somewhat cheered and restored me to spirits, and as the smart began
to go off, my good humour returned accordingly: which alteration not
escaping him, he said and did every thing that could confirm me in, and
indeed exalt it.
But scarce was supper well over, before a change so incredible was
wrought in me, such violent, yet pleasingly irksome sensations took
possession of me that I scarce knew how to contain myself; the smart of
the lashes was now converted into such a prickly heat, such fiery
tinglings, as made me sigh, squeeze my thighs together, shift and
wriggle about my seat, with a furious restlessness; whilst these
itching ardours, thus excited in those parts on which the storm of
discipline had principally fallen, detached legions of burning,
subtile, stimulating spirits, to their opposite spot and centre of
assemblage, where their titillation raged so furiously, that I was even
stinging made with them. No wonder then that in such a taking, and
devoured by flames that licked up all modesty and reserve, my eyes, now
charged brimful of the most intense desire, fired on my companion very
intelligible signal of distress: my companion, I say, who grew in them
every instant more amiable, and more necessary to my urgent wishes and
hopes of immediate ease.
Mr. Barville, no stranger, by experience, to these situations, soon
knew the pass I was brought to soon perceived my extreme disorder; in
favour of which, removing the table out of the way, he began a prelude
that flattered me with instant relief, to which I was not, however, so
near as I imagined: for as he was unbuttoned to me, and tried to
provoke and rouse to action his unactive torpid machine, he blushingly
owned that no good was to be expected from it, unless I took it in hand
to re-excite its languid loitering powers, by just refreshing the smart
of the yet recent blood-raw cuts, seeing it could, no more than a boy’s
top, keep up without lashing. Sensible then that I should work as much
for my own profit as his, I hurried my compliance with his desire, and
abridging the ceremonial, whilst he leaned his head against the back of
a chair, I had scarce gently made him feel the lash, before I saw the
object of my wishes give signs of life, and presently, as it were with
a magic touch, is started up into a noble size and distinction indeed.
Hastening then to give me the benefit of it, he threw me down on the
bench; but such was the refreshed soreness of those parts behind, on my
leaning so hard on them, as became me to compass the admission of that
stupendous head of his machine, that I could not possibly bear it. I
got up then, and tried, by leaning forwards, and turning the crupper on
my assailant, to let him at the back avenue: but here it was likewise
impossible to stand his bearing so fiercely against me, in his
agitations and endeavours to enter that way, whilst his belly battered
directly against the recent sore. What should we do now? both
intolerably heated: both in a fury; but pleasure is ever inventive for
its own ends: he strips me in a trice stark naked, and placing a broad
settee-cushion on the carpet before the fire, oversets me gently, topsy
turvy, on it; and handling me only at the waist, whilst you may be sure
I favoured all my dispositions, brought my legs round his neck; so that
my head was kept from the floor only by my hands and the velvet
cushion, which was now bespread with my flowing hair: thus I stood on
my head and hands, supported by him in such manner, that whilst my
thighs clung round him, so as to expose to his sight all my back
figure, including the theatre of his bloody pleasure, the centre of my
fore pair fairly bearded the object of its rage, that now stood in
fine condition to give me satisfaction for the injuries of its
neighbours. But as this posture was certainly not the easiest, and our
imaginations, wound up to the height, could suffer no delay, he first,
with the utmost eagerness and effort, just lip-lodged that broad
acorn-fashioned head of his instrument; and still befriended by the
fury with which he had made that impression, he soon stuffed in the
rest; when now, with a pursuit of thrusts, fiercely urged, he
absolutely overpowered and absorbed all sense of pain and uneasiness,
whether from my wounds behind, my most untoward posture, or the
oversize of his stretcher, in an infinitely predominant delight; when