Nicholas Nickleby
reason, and died many years afterwards: not a rich man that I am aware
of, but certainly a happy one: leaving behind him a numerous family,
who had been carefully educated in bear and boar-hunting under his own
personal eye. And my advice to all men is, that if ever they become
hipped and melancholy from similar causes (as very many men do), they
look at both sides of the question, applying a magnifying-glass to the
best one; and if they still feel tempted to retire without leave, that
they smoke a large pipe and drink a full bottle first, and profit by the
laudable example of the Baron of Grogzwig.’
‘The fresh coach is ready, ladies and gentlemen, if you please,’ said a
new driver, looking in.
This intelligence caused the punch to be finished in a great hurry,
and prevented any discussion relative to the last story. Mr. Squeers was
observed to draw the grey-headed gentleman on one side, and to ask a
question with great apparent interest; it bore reference to the Five
Sisters of York, and was, in fact, an inquiry whether he could inform
him how much per annum the Yorkshire convents got in those days with
their boarders.
The journey was then resumed. Nicholas fell asleep towards morning, and,
when he awoke, found, with great regret, that, during his nap, both the
Baron of Grogzwig and the grey-haired gentleman had got down and were
gone. The day dragged on uncomfortably enough. At about six o’clock that
night, he and Mr. Squeers, and the little boys, and their united luggage,
were all put down together at the George and New Inn, Greta Bridge.
CHAPTER 7
Mr. and Mrs. Squeers at Home
Mr. Squeers, being safely landed, left Nicholas and the boys standing
with the luggage in the road, to amuse themselves by looking at the
coach as it changed horses, while he ran into the tavern and went
through the leg-stretching process at the bar. After some minutes, he
returned, with his legs thoroughly stretched, if the hue of his nose and
a short hiccup afforded any criterion; and at the same time there came
out of the yard a rusty pony-chaise, and a cart, driven by two labouring
men.
‘Put the boys and the boxes into the cart,’ said Squeers, rubbing his
hands; ‘and this young man and me will go on in the chaise. Get in,
Nickleby.’
Nicholas obeyed. Mr. Squeers with some difficulty inducing the pony to
obey also, they started off, leaving the cart-load of infant misery to
follow at leisure.
‘Are you cold, Nickleby?’ inquired Squeers, after they had travelled
some distance in silence.
‘Rather, sir, I must say.’
‘Well, I don’t find fault with that,’ said Squeers; ‘it’s a long journey
this weather.’
‘Is it much farther to Dotheboys Hall, sir?’ asked Nicholas.
‘About three mile from here,’ replied Squeers. ‘But you needn’t call it
a Hall down here.’
Nicholas coughed, as if he would like to know why.
‘The fact is, it ain’t a Hall,’ observed Squeers drily.
‘Oh, indeed!’ said Nicholas, whom this piece of intelligence much
astonished.
‘No,’ replied Squeers. ‘We call it a Hall up in London, because it
sounds better, but they don’t know it by that name in these parts. A man
may call his house an island if he likes; there’s no act of Parliament
against that, I believe?’
‘I believe not, sir,’ rejoined Nicholas.
Squeers eyed his companion slyly, at the conclusion of this little
dialogue, and finding that he had grown thoughtful and appeared in
nowise disposed to volunteer any observations, contented himself with
lashing the pony until they reached their journey’s end.
‘Jump out,’ said Squeers. ‘Hallo there! Come and put this horse up. Be
quick, will you!’
While the schoolmaster was uttering these and other impatient cries,
Nicholas had time to observe that the school was a long, cold-looking
house, one storey high, with a few straggling out-buildings behind, and
a barn and stable adjoining. After the lapse of a minute or two, the
noise of somebody unlocking the yard-gate was heard, and presently a
tall lean boy, with a lantern in his hand, issued forth.
‘Is that you, Smike?’ cried Squeers.
‘Yes, sir,’ replied the boy.
‘Then why the devil didn’t you come before?’
‘Please, sir, I fell asleep over the fire,’ answered Smike, with
humility.
‘Fire! what fire? Where’s there a fire?’ demanded the schoolmaster,
sharply.
‘Only in the kitchen, sir,’ replied the boy. ‘Missus said as I was
sitting up, I might go in there for a warm.’
‘Your missus is a fool,’ retorted Squeers. ‘You’d have been a deuced
deal more wakeful in the cold, I’ll engage.’
By this time Mr. Squeers had dismounted; and after ordering the boy to
see to the pony, and to take care that he hadn’t any more corn that
night, he told Nicholas to wait at the front-door a minute while he went
round and let him in.
A host of unpleasant misgivings, which had been crowding upon Nicholas
during the whole journey, thronged into his mind with redoubled
force when he was left alone. His great distance from home and the
impossibility of reaching it, except on foot, should he feel ever so
anxious to return, presented itself to him in most alarming colours; and
as he looked up at the dreary house and dark windows, and upon the wild
country round, covered with snow, he felt a depression of heart and
spirit which he had never experienced before.
‘Now then!’ cried Squeers, poking his head out at the front-door. ‘Where
are you, Nickleby?’
‘Here, sir,’ replied Nicholas.
‘Come in, then,’ said Squeers ‘the wind blows in, at this door, fit to
knock a man off his legs.’
Nicholas sighed, and hurried in. Mr. Squeers, having bolted the door to
keep it shut, ushered him into a small parlour scantily furnished with a
few chairs, a yellow map hung against the wall, and a couple of tables;
one of which bore some preparations for supper; while, on the other, a
tutor’s assistant, a Murray’s grammar, half-a-dozen cards of terms, and
a worn letter directed to Wackford Squeers, Esquire, were arranged in
picturesque confusion.
They had not been in this apartment a couple of minutes, when a female
bounced into the room, and, seizing Mr. Squeers by the throat, gave him
two loud kisses: one close after the other, like a postman’s knock. The
lady, who was of a large raw-boned figure, was about half a head taller
than Mr. Squeers, and was dressed in a dimity night-jacket; with her hair
in papers; she had also a dirty nightcap on, relieved by a yellow cotton
handkerchief which tied it under the chin.
‘How is my Squeery?’ said this lady in a playful manner, and a very
hoarse voice.
‘Quite well, my love,’ replied Squeers. ‘How’s the cows?’
‘All right, every one of’em,’ answered the lady.
‘And the pigs?’ said Squeers.
‘As well as they were when you went away.’
‘Come; that’s a blessing,’ said Squeers, pulling off his great-coat.
‘The boys are all as they were, I suppose?’
‘Oh, yes, they’re well enough,’ replied Mrs. Squeers, snappishly. ‘That
young Pitcher’s had a fever.’
‘No!’ exclaimed Squeers. ‘Damn that boy, he’s always at something of
that sort.’
‘Never was such a boy, I do believe,’ said Mrs. Squeers; ‘whatever he
has is always catching too. I say it’s obstinacy, and nothing shall ever
convince me that it isn’t. I’d beat it out of him; and I told you that,
six months ago.’
‘So you did, my love,’ rejoined Squeers. ‘We’ll try what can be done.’
Pending these little endearments, Nicholas had stood, awkwardly enough,
in the middle of the room: not very well knowing whether he was expected
to retire into the passage, or to remain where he was. He was now
relieved from his perplexity by Mr. Squeers.
‘This is the new young man, my dear,’ said that gentleman.
‘Oh,’ replied Mrs. Squeers, nodding her head at Nicholas, and eyeing him
coldly from top to toe.
‘He’ll take a meal with us tonight,’ said Squeers, ‘and go among the
boys tomorrow morning. You can give him a shake-down here, tonight,
can’t you?’
‘We must manage it somehow,’ replied the lady. ‘You don’t much mind how
you sleep, I suppose, sir?’
No, indeed,’ replied Nicholas, ‘I am not particular.’
‘That’s lucky,’ said Mrs. Squeers. And as the lady’s humour was
considered to lie chiefly in retort, Mr. Squeers laughed heartily, and
seemed to expect that Nicholas should do the same.
After some further conversation between the master and mistress relative
to the success of Mr. Squeers’s trip and the people who had paid, and the
people who had made default in payment, a young servant girl brought in
a Yorkshire pie and some cold beef, which being set upon the table, the
boy Smike appeared with a jug of ale.
Mr. Squeers was emptying his great-coat pockets of letters to different
boys, and other small documents, which he had brought down in them. The
boy glanced, with an anxious and timid expression, at the papers, as if
with a sickly hope that one among them might relate to him. The look was
a very painful one, and went to Nicholas’s heart at once; for it told a
long and very sad history.
It induced him to consider the boy more attentively, and he was
surprised to observe the extraordinary mixture of garments which
formed his dress. Although he could not have been less than eighteen or
nineteen years old, and was tall for that age, he wore a skeleton suit,
such as is usually put upon very little boys, and which, though most
absurdly short in the arms and legs, was quite wide enough for his
attenuated frame. In order that the lower part of his legs might be in
perfect keeping with this singular dress, he had a very large pair of
boots, originally made for tops, which might have been once worn by some
stout farmer, but were now too patched and tattered for a beggar. Heaven
knows how long he had been there, but he still wore the same linen which
he had first taken down; for, round his neck, was a tattered child’s
frill, only half concealed by a coarse, man’s neckerchief. He was lame;
and as he feigned to be busy in arranging the table, glanced at the
letters with a look so keen, and yet so dispirited and hopeless, that
Nicholas could hardly bear to watch him.
‘What are you bothering about there, Smike?’ cried Mrs. Squeers; ‘let the
things alone, can’t you?’
‘Eh!’ said Squeers, looking up. ‘Oh! it’s you, is it?’
‘Yes, sir,’ replied the youth, pressing his hands together, as though to
control, by force, the nervous wandering of his fingers. ‘Is there--’
‘Well!’ said Squeers.
‘Have you--did anybody--has nothing been heard--about me?’
‘Devil a bit,’ replied Squeers testily.
The lad withdrew his eyes, and, putting his hand to his face, moved
towards the door.
‘Not a word,’ resumed Squeers, ‘and never will be. Now, this is a pretty
sort of thing, isn’t it, that you should have been left here, all these
years, and no money paid after the first six--nor no notice taken, nor
no clue to be got who you belong to? It’s a pretty sort of thing that I
should have to feed a great fellow like you, and never hope to get one
penny for it, isn’t it?’
The boy put his hand to his head as if he were making an effort to
recollect something, and then, looking vacantly at his questioner,
gradually broke into a smile, and limped away.
‘I’ll tell you what, Squeers,’ remarked his wife as the door closed, ‘I
think that young chap’s turning silly.’
‘I hope not,’ said the schoolmaster; ‘for he’s a handy fellow out of
doors, and worth his meat and drink, anyway. I should think he’d have
wit enough for us though, if he was. But come; let’s have supper, for I
am hungry and tired, and want to get to bed.’
This reminder brought in an exclusive steak for Mr. Squeers, who speedily
proceeded to do it ample justice. Nicholas drew up his chair, but his
appetite was effectually taken away.
‘How’s the steak, Squeers?’ said Mrs. S.