Of Human Bondage
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Of Human Bondage
by W. Somerset Maugham
I
The day broke gray and dull. The clouds hung heavily, and there was a
rawness in the air that suggested snow. A woman servant came into a
room in which a child was sleeping and drew the curtains. She glanced
mechanically at the house opposite, a stucco house with a portico, and
went to the child’s bed.
“Wake up, Philip,” she said.
She pulled down the bed-clothes, took him in her arms, and carried him
downstairs. He was only half awake.
“Your mother wants you,” she said.
She opened the door of a room on the floor below and took the child
over to a bed in which a woman was lying. It was his mother. She
stretched out her arms, and the child nestled by her side. He did not
ask why he had been awakened. The woman kissed his eyes, and with thin,
small hands felt the warm body through his white flannel nightgown. She
pressed him closer to herself.
“Are you sleepy, darling?” she said.
Her voice was so weak that it seemed to come already from a great
distance. The child did not answer, but smiled comfortably. He was very
happy in the large, warm bed, with those soft arms about him. He tried
to make himself smaller still as he cuddled up against his mother, and
he kissed her sleepily. In a moment he closed his eyes and was fast
asleep. The doctor came forwards and stood by the bed-side.
“Oh, don’t take him away yet,” she moaned.
The doctor, without answering, looked at her gravely. Knowing she would
not be allowed to keep the child much longer, the woman kissed him
again; and she passed her hand down his body till she came to his feet;
she held the right foot in her hand and felt the five small toes; and
then slowly passed her hand over the left one. She gave a sob.
“What’s the matter?” said the doctor. “You’re tired.”
She shook her head, unable to speak, and the tears rolled down her
cheeks. The doctor bent down.
“Let me take him.”
She was too weak to resist his wish, and she gave the child up. The
doctor handed him back to his nurse.
“You’d better put him back in his own bed.”
“Very well, sir.” The little boy, still sleeping, was taken away. His
mother sobbed now broken-heartedly.
“What will happen to him, poor child?”
The monthly nurse tried to quiet her, and presently, from exhaustion,
the crying ceased. The doctor walked to a table on the other side of
the room, upon which, under a towel, lay the body of a still-born
child. He lifted the towel and looked. He was hidden from the bed by a
screen, but the woman guessed what he was doing.
“Was it a girl or a boy?” she whispered to the nurse.
“Another boy.”
The woman did not answer. In a moment the child’s nurse came back. She
approached the bed.
“Master Philip never woke up,” she said. There was a pause. Then the
doctor felt his patient’s pulse once more.
“I don’t think there’s anything I can do just now,” he said. “I’ll call
again after breakfast.”
“I’ll show you out, sir,” said the child’s nurse.
They walked downstairs in silence. In the hall the doctor stopped.
“You’ve sent for Mrs. Carey’s brother-in-law, haven’t you?”
“Yes, sir.”
“D’you know at what time he’ll be here?”
“No, sir, I’m expecting a telegram.”
“What about the little boy? I should think he’d be better out of the
way.”
“Miss Watkin said she’d take him, sir.”
“Who’s she?”
“She’s his godmother, sir. D’you think Mrs. Carey will get over it,
sir?”
The doctor shook his head.
II
It was a week later. Philip was sitting on the floor in the
drawing-room at Miss Watkin’s house in Onslow gardens. He was an only
child and used to amusing himself. The room was filled with massive
furniture, and on each of the sofas were three big cushions. There was
a cushion too in each arm-chair. All these he had taken and, with the
help of the gilt rout chairs, light and easy to move, had made an
elaborate cave in which he could hide himself from the Red Indians who
were lurking behind the curtains. He put his ear to the floor and
listened to the herd of buffaloes that raced across the prairie.
Presently, hearing the door open, he held his breath so that he might
not be discovered; but a violent hand pulled away a chair and the
cushions fell down.
“You naughty boy, Miss Watkin WILL be cross with you.”
“Hulloa, Emma!” he said.
The nurse bent down and kissed him, then began to shake out the
cushions, and put them back in their places.
“Am I to come home?” he asked.
“Yes, I’ve come to fetch you.”
“You’ve got a new dress on.”
It was in eighteen-eighty-five, and she wore a bustle. Her gown was of
black velvet, with tight sleeves and sloping shoulders, and the skirt
had three large flounces. She wore a black bonnet with velvet strings.
She hesitated. The question she had expected did not come, and so she
could not give the answer she had prepared.
“Aren’t you going to ask how your mamma is?” she said at length.
“Oh, I forgot. How is mamma?”
Now she was ready.
“Your mamma is quite well and happy.”
“Oh, I am glad.”
“Your mamma’s gone away. You won’t ever see her any more.” Philip did
not know what she meant.
“Why not?”
“Your mamma’s in heaven.”
She began to cry, and Philip, though he did not quite understand, cried
too. Emma was a tall, big-boned woman, with fair hair and large
features. She came from Devonshire and, notwithstanding her many years
of service in London, had never lost the breadth of her accent. Her
tears increased her emotion, and she pressed the little boy to her
heart. She felt vaguely the pity of that child deprived of the only
love in the world that is quite unselfish. It seemed dreadful that he
must be handed over to strangers. But in a little while she pulled
herself together.
“Your Uncle William is waiting in to see you,” she said. “Go and say
good-bye to Miss Watkin, and we’ll go home.”
“I don’t want to say good-bye,” he answered, instinctively anxious to
hide his tears.
“Very well, run upstairs and get your hat.”
He fetched it, and when he came down Emma was waiting for him in the
hall. He heard the sound of voices in the study behind the dining-room.
He paused. He knew that Miss Watkin and her sister were talking to
friends, and it seemed to him—he was nine years old—that if he went in
they would be sorry for him.
“I think I’ll go and say good-bye to Miss Watkin.”
“I think you’d better,” said Emma.
“Go in and tell them I’m coming,” he said.
He wished to make the most of his opportunity. Emma knocked at the door
and walked in. He heard her speak.
“Master Philip wants to say good-bye to you, miss.”
There was a sudden hush of the conversation, and Philip limped in.
Henrietta Watkin was a stout woman, with a red face and dyed hair. In
those days to dye the hair excited comment, and Philip had heard much
gossip at home when his godmother’s changed colour. She lived with an
elder sister, who had resigned herself contentedly to old age. Two
ladies, whom Philip did not know, were calling, and they looked at him
curiously.
“My poor child,” said Miss Watkin, opening her arms.
She began to cry. Philip understood now why she had not been in to
luncheon and why she wore a black dress. She could not speak.
“I’ve got to go home,” said Philip, at last.
He disengaged himself from Miss Watkin’s arms, and she kissed him
again. Then he went to her sister and bade her good-bye too. One of the
strange ladies asked if she might kiss him, and he gravely gave her
permission. Though crying, he keenly enjoyed the sensation he was
causing; he would have been glad to stay a little longer to be made
much of, but felt they expected him to go, so he said that Emma was
waiting for him. He went out of the room. Emma had gone downstairs to
speak with a friend in the basement, and he waited for her on the
landing. He heard Henrietta Watkin’s voice.
“His mother was my greatest friend. I can’t bear to think that she’s
dead.”
“You oughtn’t to have gone to the funeral, Henrietta,” said her sister.
“I knew it would upset you.”
Then one of the strangers spoke.
“Poor little boy, it’s dreadful to think of him quite alone in the
world. I see he limps.”
“Yes, he’s got a club-foot. It was such a grief to his mother.”
Then Emma came back. They called a hansom, and she told the driver
where to go.
III
When they reached the house Mrs. Carey had died in—it was in a dreary,
respectable street between Notting Hill Gate and High Street,
Kensington—Emma led Philip into the drawing-room. His uncle was writing
letters of thanks for the wreaths which had been sent. One of them,
which had arrived too late for the funeral, lay in its cardboard box on
the hall-table.
“Here’s Master Philip,” said Emma.
Mr. Carey stood up slowly and shook hands with the little boy. Then on
second thoughts he bent down and kissed his forehead. He was a man of
somewhat less than average height, inclined to corpulence, with his
hair, worn long, arranged over the scalp so as to conceal his baldness.
He was clean-shaven. His features were regular, and it was possible to
imagine that in his youth he had been good-looking. On his watch-chain
he wore a gold cross.
“You’re going to live with me now, Philip,” said Mr. Carey. “Shall you
like that?”
Two years before Philip had been sent down to stay at the vicarage
after an attack of chicken-pox; but there remained with him a
recollection of an attic and a large garden rather than of his uncle
and aunt.
“Yes.”
“You must look upon me and your Aunt Louisa as your father and mother.”
The child’s mouth trembled a little, he reddened, but did not answer.
“Your dear mother left you in my charge.”
Mr. Carey had no great ease in expressing himself. When the news came
that his sister-in-law was dying, he set off at once for London, but on
the way thought of nothing but the disturbance in his life that would
be caused if her death forced him to undertake the care of her son. He
was well over fifty, and his wife, to whom he had been married for
thirty years, was childless; he did not look forward with any pleasure
to the presence of a small boy who might be noisy and rough. He had
never much liked his sister-in-law.
“I’m going to take you down to Blackstable tomorrow,” he said.
“With Emma?”
The child put his hand in hers, and she pressed it.
“I’m afraid Emma must go away,” said Mr. Carey.
“But I want Emma to come with me.”
Philip began to cry, and the nurse could not help crying too. Mr. Carey
looked at them helplessly.
“I think you’d better leave me alone with Master Philip for a moment.”
“Very good, sir.”
Though Philip clung to her, she released herself gently. Mr. Carey took
the boy on his knee and put his arm round him.
“You mustn’t cry,” he said. “You’re too old to have a nurse now. We
must see about sending you to school.”
“I want Emma to come with me,” the child repeated.
“It costs too much money, Philip. Your father didn’t leave very much,
and I don’t know what’s become of it. You must look at every penny you
spend.”
Mr. Carey had called the day before on the family solicitor. Philip’s
father was a surgeon in good practice, and his hospital appointments
suggested an established position; so that it was a surprise on his
sudden death from blood-poisoning to find that he had left his widow
little more than his life insurance and what could be got for the lease
of their house in Bruton Street. This was six months ago; and Mrs.
Carey, already in delicate health, finding herself with child, had lost
her head and accepted for the lease the first offer that was made. She
stored her furniture, and, at a rent which the parson thought
outrageous, took a furnished house for a year, so that she might suffer