Of Human Bondage
hospital.
“Oh, my principle is to profit by all the benefits that society
provides. I take advantage of the age I live in. When I’m ill I get
myself patched up in a hospital and I have no false shame, and I send
my children to be educated at the board-school.”
“Do you really?” said Philip.
“And a capital education they get too, much better than I got at
Winchester. How else do you think I could educate them at all? I’ve got
nine. You must come and see them all when I get home again. Will you?”
“I’d like to very much,” said Philip.
LXXXVII
Ten days later Thorpe Athelny was well enough to leave the hospital. He
gave Philip his address, and Philip promised to dine with him at one
o’clock on the following Sunday. Athelny had told him that he lived in
a house built by Inigo Jones; he had raved, as he raved over
everything, over the balustrade of old oak; and when he came down to
open the door for Philip he made him at once admire the elegant carving
of the lintel. It was a shabby house, badly needing a coat of paint,
but with the dignity of its period, in a little street between Chancery
Lane and Holborn, which had once been fashionable but was now little
better than a slum: there was a plan to pull it down in order to put up
handsome offices; meanwhile the rents were small, and Athelny was able
to get the two upper floors at a price which suited his income. Philip
had not seen him up before and was surprised at his small size; he was
not more than five feet and five inches high. He was dressed
fantastically in blue linen trousers of the sort worn by working men in
France, and a very old brown velvet coat; he wore a bright red sash
round his waist, a low collar, and for tie a flowing bow of the kind
used by the comic Frenchman in the pages of Punch. He greeted Philip
with enthusiasm. He began talking at once of the house and passed his
hand lovingly over the balusters.
“Look at it, feel it, it’s like silk. What a miracle of grace! And in
five years the house-breaker will sell it for firewood.”
He insisted on taking Philip into a room on the first floor, where a
man in shirt sleeves, a blousy woman, and three children were having
their Sunday dinner.
“I’ve just brought this gentleman in to show him your ceiling. Did you
ever see anything so wonderful? How are you, Mrs. Hodgson? This is Mr.
Carey, who looked after me when I was in the hospital.”
“Come in, sir,” said the man. “Any friend of Mr. Athelny’s is welcome.
Mr. Athelny shows the ceiling to all his friends. And it don’t matter
what we’re doing, if we’re in bed or if I’m ’aving a wash, in ’e
comes.”
Philip could see that they looked upon Athelny as a little queer; but
they liked him none the less and they listened open-mouthed while he
discoursed with his impetuous fluency on the beauty of the
seventeenth-century ceiling.
“What a crime to pull this down, eh, Hodgson? You’re an influential
citizen, why don’t you write to the papers and protest?”
The man in shirt sleeves gave a laugh and said to Philip:
“Mr. Athelny will ’ave his little joke. They do say these ’ouses are
that insanitory, it’s not safe to live in them.”
“Sanitation be damned, give me art,” cried Athelny. “I’ve got nine
children and they thrive on bad drains. No, no, I’m not going to take
any risk. None of your new-fangled notions for me! When I move from
here I’m going to make sure the drains are bad before I take anything.”
There was a knock at the door, and a little fair-haired girl opened it.
“Daddy, mummy says, do stop talking and come and eat your dinner.”
“This is my third daughter,” said Athelny, pointing to her with a
dramatic forefinger. “She is called Maria del Pilar, but she answers
more willingly to the name of Jane. Jane, your nose wants blowing.”
“I haven’t got a hanky, daddy.”
“Tut, tut, child,” he answered, as he produced a vast, brilliant
bandanna, “what do you suppose the Almighty gave you fingers for?”
They went upstairs, and Philip was taken into a room with walls
panelled in dark oak. In the middle was a narrow table of teak on
trestle legs, with two supporting bars of iron, of the kind called in
Spain mesa de hieraje. They were to dine there, for two places were
laid, and there were two large arm-chairs, with broad flat arms of oak
and leathern backs, and leathern seats. They were severe, elegant, and
uncomfortable. The only other piece of furniture was a bargueno,
elaborately ornamented with gilt iron-work, on a stand of
ecclesiastical design roughly but very finely carved. There stood on
this two or three lustre plates, much broken but rich in colour; and on
the walls were old masters of the Spanish school in beautiful though
dilapidated frames: though gruesome in subject, ruined by age and bad
treatment, and second-rate in their conception, they had a glow of
passion. There was nothing in the room of any value, but the effect was
lovely. It was magnificent and yet austere. Philip felt that it offered
the very spirit of old Spain. Athelny was in the middle of showing him
the inside of the bargueno, with its beautiful ornamentation and secret
drawers, when a tall girl, with two plaits of bright brown hair hanging
down her back, came in.
“Mother says dinner’s ready and waiting and I’m to bring it in as soon
as you sit down.”
“Come and shake hands with Mr. Carey, Sally.” He turned to Philip.
“Isn’t she enormous? She’s my eldest. How old are you, Sally?”
“Fifteen, father, come next June.”
“I christened her Maria del Sol, because she was my first child and I
dedicated her to the glorious sun of Castile; but her mother calls her
Sally and her brother Pudding-Face.”
The girl smiled shyly, she had even, white teeth, and blushed. She was
well set-up, tall for her age, with pleasant gray eyes and a broad
forehead. She had red cheeks.
“Go and tell your mother to come in and shake hands with Mr. Carey
before he sits down.”
“Mother says she’ll come in after dinner. She hasn’t washed herself
yet.”
“Then we’ll go in and see her ourselves. He mustn’t eat the Yorkshire
pudding till he’s shaken the hand that made it.”
Philip followed his host into the kitchen. It was small and much
overcrowded. There had been a lot of noise, but it stopped as soon as
the stranger entered. There was a large table in the middle and round
it, eager for dinner, were seated Athelny’s children. A woman was
standing at the oven, taking out baked potatoes one by one.
“Here’s Mr. Carey, Betty,” said Athelny.
“Fancy bringing him in here. What will he think?”
She wore a dirty apron, and the sleeves of her cotton dress were turned
up above her elbows; she had curling pins in her hair. Mrs. Athelny was
a large woman, a good three inches taller than her husband, fair, with
blue eyes and a kindly expression; she had been a handsome creature,
but advancing years and the bearing of many children had made her fat
and blousy; her blue eyes had become pale, her skin was coarse and red,
the colour had gone out of her hair. She straightened herself, wiped
her hand on her apron, and held it out.
“You’re welcome, sir,” she said, in a slow voice, with an accent that
seemed oddly familiar to Philip. “Athelny said you was very kind to him
in the ’orspital.”
“Now you must be introduced to the live stock,” said Athelny. “That is
Thorpe,” he pointed to a chubby boy with curly hair, “he is my eldest
son, heir to the title, estates, and responsibilities of the family.
There is Athelstan, Harold, Edward.” He pointed with his forefinger to
three smaller boys, all rosy, healthy, and smiling, though when they
felt Philip’s smiling eyes upon them they looked shyly down at their
plates. “Now the girls in order: Maria del Sol…”
“Pudding-Face,” said one of the small boys.
“Your sense of humour is rudimentary, my son. Maria de los Mercedes,
Maria del Pilar, Maria de la Concepcion, Maria del Rosario.”
“I call them Sally, Molly, Connie, Rosie, and Jane,” said Mrs. Athelny.
“Now, Athelny, you go into your own room and I’ll send you your dinner.
I’ll let the children come in afterwards for a bit when I’ve washed
them.”
“My dear, if I’d had the naming of you I should have called you Maria
of the Soapsuds. You’re always torturing these wretched brats with
soap.”
“You go first, Mr. Carey, or I shall never get him to sit down and eat
his dinner.”
Athelny and Philip installed themselves in the great monkish chairs,
and Sally brought them in two plates of beef, Yorkshire pudding, baked
potatoes, and cabbage. Athelny took sixpence out of his pocket and sent
her for a jug of beer.
“I hope you didn’t have the table laid here on my account,” said
Philip. “I should have been quite happy to eat with the children.”
“Oh no, I always have my meals by myself. I like these antique customs.
I don’t think that women ought to sit down at table with men. It ruins
conversation and I’m sure it’s very bad for them. It puts ideas in
their heads, and women are never at ease with themselves when they have
ideas.”
Both host and guest ate with a hearty appetite.
“Did you ever taste such Yorkshire pudding? No one can make it like my
wife. That’s the advantage of not marrying a lady. You noticed she
wasn’t a lady, didn’t you?”
It was an awkward question, and Philip did not know how to answer it.
“I never thought about it,” he said lamely.
Athelny laughed. He had a peculiarly joyous laugh.
“No, she’s not a lady, nor anything like it. Her father was a farmer,
and she’s never bothered about aitches in her life. We’ve had twelve
children and nine of them are alive. I tell her it’s about time she
stopped, but she’s an obstinate woman, she’s got into the habit of it
now, and I don’t believe she’ll be satisfied till she’s had twenty.”
At that moment Sally came in with the beer, and, having poured out a
glass for Philip, went to the other side of the table to pour some out
for her father. He put his hand round her waist.
“Did you ever see such a handsome, strapping girl? Only fifteen and she
might be twenty. Look at her cheeks. She’s never had a day’s illness in
her life. It’ll be a lucky man who marries her, won’t it, Sally?”
Sally listened to all this with a slight, slow smile, not much
embarrassed, for she was accustomed to her father’s outbursts, but with
an easy modesty which was very attractive.
“Don’t let your dinner get cold, father,” she said, drawing herself
away from his arm. “You’ll call when you’re ready for your pudding,
won’t you?”
They were left alone, and Athelny lifted the pewter tankard to his
lips. He drank long and deep.
“My word, is there anything better than English beer?” he said. “Let us
thank God for simple pleasures, roast beef and rice pudding, a good
appetite and beer. I was married to a lady once. My God! Don’t marry a
lady, my boy.”
Philip laughed. He was exhilarated by the scene, the funny little man
in his odd clothes, the panelled room and the Spanish furniture, the
English fare: the whole thing had an exquisite incongruity.
“You laugh, my boy, you can’t imagine marrying beneath you. You want a
wife who’s an intellectual equal. Your head is crammed full of ideas of
comradeship. Stuff and nonsense, my boy! A man doesn’t want to talk
politics to his wife, and what do you think I care for Betty’s views
upon the Differential Calculus? A man wants a wife who can cook his
dinner and look after his children. I’ve tried both and I know. Let’s
have the pudding in.”
He clapped his hands and presently Sally came. When she took away the
plates, Philip wanted to get up and help her, but Athelny stopped him.
“Let her alone, my boy. She doesn’t want you to fuss about, do you,
Sally? And she won’t think it rude of you to sit still while she waits
upon you. She don’t care a damn for chivalry, do you, Sally?”