Only a girl's love
"Pretty well; better than I shall now you have come to fidget about."
Lord Leycester laughed.
"A pretty plain hint that our room is desired more than our company,
Miss Etheridge. Can we not vanish into space?"
Stella laughed and sank down on the grass.
"It is uncle's way of begging us to stay," she said.
Lord Leycester laughed, and sending the dogs off, flung himself down
almost at her feet.
"Did I exaggerate?" he said, pointing his whip at the view.
"Not an atom," replied Stella. "It is beautiful--beautiful, and that is
all that one can find to say."
"I wish you would be content to say it and not insist upon my painting
it," replied Mr. Etheridge.
Lord Leycester sprang to his feet.
"That is the last straw. We will not remain to be abused, Miss
Etheridge," he said.
Stella remained immovable. He came and stood over her, looking down at
her with wistful eagerness in silence.
"What lovely woods," she said. "You were right; they are carpeted with
primroses. We have none in our meadow."
"Would you like to go and get some?" he asked.
Stella turned her face up to him.
"Yes, but I don't care to swim across."
He smiled, and went down to the bank, unfastened a boat, and leaping
into it, called to her.
Stella sprang to her feet with the impulsive delight of a girl at the
sight of a boat, when she had expected nothing better than rushes.
"Is it a boat--really?" she exclaimed.
"Come and see," he said.
She went down to the water's edge and looked at it.
"How did it come there?" she asked.
"I pay a fairy to drop a boat from the skies whenever I want it."
"I see," said Stella, gravely.
He laughed.
"How did you think I came across? Did you think I swam?" and he
arranged a cushion.
She laughed.
"I forgot that; how stupid of me."
"Will you step in?" he said.
Stella looked back at her uncle, and hesitated a moment.
"He will assure you that I shall not drown you," he said.
"I am not afraid--do you think I am afraid?" she said, scornfully.
"Yes, I think that at this moment you are trembling with nervousness
and dread."
She put her foot--he could not help seeing how small and shapely it
was--on the gunwale, and he held out his hand and took hers; it was
well he did so, for the boat was only a small, lightly built gig, and
her sudden movement had made it rock.
As it was, she staggered slightly, and he had to take her by the arm.
So, with one hand grasping her hand and the other her arm, he held
her for a moment--for longer than a moment. Then he placed her on the
cushion, and seating himself, took up the sculls and pushed off.
Stella leant back, and of course dropped one hand in the water. Not one
woman out of twenty who ever sat in a boat can resist that impulse to
have closer communion with the water; and he pulled slowly across the
stream.
The sun shone full upon them, making their way a path of rippling gold,
and turning Stella's hair into a rich brown.
Little wonder that, as he sat opposite her, his eyes should rest on her
face, and less that, thus resting, its exquisite beauty and freshness
and purity should sink into the soul of him to whom beauty was the one
thing worth living for.
Unconscious of his rapt gaze, Stella leant back, her eyes fixed on the
water, her whole attention absorbed by its musical ripple as it ran
through her fingers.
In silence he pulled the sculls, slowly and noiselessly; he would not
have spoken and broken the spell for worlds. Before him, as he looked
upon her, rose the picture of which he had spoken to his sister last
night.
"But more beautiful," he mused--"more beautiful! How lost she is! She
has forgotten me--forgotten everything. Oh, Heaven! if one were to
waken her into love!"
For an instant, at the thought, the color came into his face and the
fire to his eyes; then a half guilty, half repentful feeling struck
through him.
"No, it would be cruel--cruel: and yet to see the azure light shining
in those eyes--to see those lips half parted with the breath of a great
passion, would be worth--what? It would make amends for all that a man
might suffer, though he died the next moment, if those eyes smiled, if
those lips were upturned, for love of him!"
So lost were they that the touching of the boat and the bank made them
start.
"So soon," murmured Stella. "How beautiful it is! I think I was
dreaming."
"And I know that I was," he said, with a subtle significance, as he
rose and held out his hand. But Stella sprang lightly on shore without
accepting it. He tied up the boat and followed her; she was already on
her knee, picking the yellow primroses.
Without a word, he followed her example. Sometimes they were so near
together that she could feel his breath stirring her hair--so near that
their hands almost met.
At last she sank on to the mossy ground with a laugh, and, pointing to
her hat, which was full of the spring earth-stars, said laughingly:
"What ruthless pillage! Do not pick any more; it is wanton waste!"
"Are you sure you have plenty?" he said. "Why hesitate when there are
such millions?"
"No, no more!" she said. "I feel guilty already!"
He glanced at the handful he had gathered, and she saw the glance and
laughed.
"You do not know what to do with those you have, and still want more.
See, you must tie them in bundles.
"Show me," he said, and he threw himself down beside her.
She gathered them up into bundles, and tied them with a long stem of
fern, and he tried to do the same, but his hands, white and slender as
they were, were not so deft as hers, and he held the huge bundle to her.
"You must tie it," he said.
She laughed and put the fern round, but it broke, and the primroses
fell in a golden shower over their hands. They both made a grasp at
them, and their hands met.
For a moment Stella laughed, then the laugh died away, for he still
held her hand, and the warmth of his grasp seemed stealing upward to
her heart. With something like an effort she drew her hand away, and
sprang to her feet.
"I--I must go," she said. "Uncle will wonder where I have gone," and
she looked down at the water with almost frightened eagerness.
"He will know you are here, quite safe," he said. "Wait, do not go this
moment. Up there, above our heads, we can see the river stretching away
for miles. It is not a step; will you come?"
She hesitated a moment, then she turned and walked beside him between
the trees.
A step or two, as he said, and they reached a sort of plateau, crowned
by a moss-grown rock, in which some rough steps were hewn. He sprang up
the steps and reached the top, then bent down and held out his hand.
Stella hesitated a moment.
"It will repay your trouble; come," he said, and she put her hand in
his and her foot on the first step, and he drew her up beside him.
"Look!" he said.
An exclamation of delight broke from Stella's lips.
"You are not sorry you came?"
"I did not think it would be so lovely," she said.
He stood beside her, not looking at the view, but at her dark eyes
dilating with dreamy rapture--at her half-parted lips, and the sweet,
clear-cut profile presented to him.
She turned suddenly, and to hide the look of admiration he raised his
hand and pointed out the objects in the view.
"And what is that little house there?" asked Stella.
"That is one of the lodges," he said.
"One of the lodges--one of your own lodges, you mean?" she asked.
He nodded lightly, "Yes."
"And all this between here and that lodge belongs to you?"
"No, not an inch," he said, laughing. "To my father."
"It is a great deal," she said.
"Too much for one man, you think?" he said, with a smile. "A great many
other people think so too. I don't know what you would think if you
knew how much we Wyndwards have managed at one time or the other to lay
our acquiring grasp on. This is one of our smallest estates," he said,
simply.
Stella looked at the view dreamily.
"One of the smallest? Yes, I have heard that you are very rich. It must
be very nice."
"I don't know," he said. "You see one cannot tell until one has been
poor. I don't think there is anything in it. I don't think one is any
the happier. There is always something left to long for."
She turned her dark eyes on him with a smile of incredulity.
"What can you possibly have to long for?" she said.
He looked at her with a strange smile; then suddenly his face grew
grave and wistful--almost sad, as it seemed to her.
"You cannot guess, and I cannot tell you; but believe me that, as I
stand here, there is an aching void in my heart, and I do long for
something very earnestly."
The voice was like music, deep and thrilling; she listened and wondered.
"And you should be so happy," she said, almost unconsciously.
"Happy!" he echoed, and his dark eyes rested on hers with a strange
expression that was half-mocking, half-sad. "Do you know what the poets
say?"
"'Count no man happy till he dies,' do you mean?" said Stella.
"Yes," he said. "I do not think I know what happiness means. I have
been pursuing it all my life; sometimes have been within reach of it
but it has always evaded me--always slipped from my grasp. Sometimes
I have resolved to let it go--to pursue it no longer; but fate has
decreed that man shall always be seeking for the unattainable--that he
who once looks upon happiness with the eyes of desire, who stretches
out his hands toward her, shall pursue her to the end."
"And--but surely some get their desire."
"Some," he said, "to find that the prize is not worth the race they
have run for it; to find that they have wearied of it when it is
gained; to find that it is no prize at all, but a delusive blank; all
dead sea fruit that turns to dust upon the lips."
"Not all; surely not all!" she murmured, strangely moved by his words.
"No; not all," he said, with a hidden light in his eyes that she
did not see. "To some there comes a moment when they know that
happiness--real true happiness--lies just beyond their grasp. And the
case of rich men is more to be pitied than all others. What would you
say if I told you that it was mine?"
She looked up at him with a gentle smile, not on her lips but in her
eyes.
"I should say that I was very sorry," she murmured. "I should say that
you deserved----" she stopped short, smitten by sudden remembrance of
all she had heard of him.
He filled up the pause with a laugh: a laugh such as she had not heard
upon his lips till now.
"You were right to stop," he said. "If I get all the happiness I
deserve--well, no man will envy me."
"Let us go down now," said Stella, gently; "my uncle----"
He leapt down, and held up his hand.
CHAPTER VIII.
Stella put hers into it, but reluctantly, and tried to spring, but her
dress caught and she slipped forward.
She would have fallen but that he was on the alert to save her. Quite
simply and naturally he put his arms round her and lifted her down.
Only for a moment he held her in his embrace, her panting form close to
his, her face almost resting on his shoulders, but that moment roused
the blood in his fiery heart, and her face went pale.
"Are you hurt?" he murmured.
"No, no!" she said, and she slipped out of his arms and stood a little
away from him, the color coming and going in her face; it was the first
time that any man's arms, save her father's, had ever encircled her.
"Are you quite sure?" he repeated.
"Quite," she said, then she laughed. "What would have happened if I had
slipped?"
"You would have sprained your ankle," he said.
"Sprained my ankle, really?" she repeated, with open eyes.
"Yes, and I should have had to carry you down to the boat," he said,
slowly.
She looked away from him.
"I am glad I did not slip."