Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded
only a good excuse for me, but for him, and make me love you. There is
nothing that I would not do, said I, to oblige your ladyship; but my
poor father and mother (who would rather have seen me buried quick in
the earth, than to be seduced by the greatest of princes) have them in
their hands at present; and your dear brother has bespoken them, when
they have done reading them: but, if he gives me leave, I will shew
them to your ladyship, with all my heart; not doubting your generous
allowances, as I have had his; though I have treated him very freely
all the way, while he had naughty views; and that your ladyship would
consider them as the naked sentiments of my heart, from time to time
delivered to those, whose indulgence I was sure of; and for whose sight
only they were written.
Give me a kiss now, said her ladyship, for your cheerful compliance:
for I make no doubt my brother will consent I shall see them, because
they must needs make for your honour; and I see he loves you better
than any one in the world.
I have heard, continued her ladyship, a mighty good character of your
parents, as industrious, honest, sensible, good folks, who know the
world; and, as I doubt not my brother’s generosity, I am glad they will
make no ill figure in the world’s eye.
Madam, said I, they are the honestest, the lovingest, and the most
conscientious couple breathing. They once lived creditably; and brought
up a great family, of which I am the youngest; but had misfortunes,
through their doing beyond their power for two unhappy brothers, who
are both dead, and whose debts they stood bound for; and so became
reduced, and, by harsh creditors, (where most of the debts were, not of
their own contracting,) turned out of all; and having, without success,
tried to set up a little country-school; (for my father understood a
little of accounts, and wrote a pretty good hand;) forced to take to
hard labour; but honest all the time; contented; never repining; and
loving to one another; and, in the midst of their poverty and
disappointments, above all temptation; and all their fear was, that I
should be wicked, and yield to temptation for the sake of worldly
riches and to God’s grace, and their good lessons, and those I imbibed
from my dear good lady, your ladyship’s mother, it is that I owe the
preservation of my innocence,—and the happy station I am exalted to.
She was pleased to kiss me again, and said, There is such a noble
simplicity in thy story, such an honest artlessness in thy mind, and
such a sweet humility in thy deportment, notwithstanding thy present
station, that I believe I shall be forced to love thee, whether I will
or not: and the sight of your papers, I dare say, will crown the work;
will disarm my pride, banish my resentment on Lady Betty’s account, and
justify my brother’s conduct; and, at the same time, redound to your
own everlasting honour, as well as to the credit of our sex: and so I
make no doubt but my brother will let me see them.
Worden, said my lady, I can say any thing before you; and you will take
no notice of our conversation; but I see you are much touched with it:
Did you ever hear any thing prettier, more unaffected, sincere, free,
easy?—No, never, madam, answered she, in my life; and it is a great
pleasure to see so happy a reconciliation taking place, where there is
so much merit.
I said, I have discovered so much prudence in Mrs. Worden, that, as
well for that, as for the confidence your ladyship places in her, I
have made no scruple of speaking my mind freely before her; and of
blaming my dear master while he was blameworthy, as well as
acknowledging his transcendent goodness to me since; which, I am sure,
exceeds all I can ever deserve. May be not, said my lady; I hope you’ll
be very happy in one another; and I’ll now rise, and tell him my
thoughts, and ask him to let me have the reading of your papers; for I
promise myself much pleasure in them; and shall not grudge a journey
and a visit to you, to the other house, to fetch them.
Your ladyship’s favour, said I, was all I had to wish for; and if I
have that, and the continuance of your dear brother’s goodness to me, I
shall be easy under whatever else may happen.
And so I took my leave, and withdrew; and she let me hear her say to
Mrs. Worden, ’Tis a charming creature, Worden!—I know not which excels;
her person, or her mind!—And so young a creature too!—Well may my
brother love her!
I am afraid, my dear father and mother, I shall now be too proud
indeed.
I had once a good mind to have asked her ladyship about Miss Sally
Godfrey; but I thought it was better let alone, since she did not
mention It herself. May be I shall hear it too soon. But I hope not. I
wonder, though, whether she be living or dead.
We breakfasted together with great good temper; and my lady was very
kind, and, asking my good master, he gave leave very readily, she
should see all my papers, when you returned them to me; and he said, He
was sure, when she came to read them, she would say, that I had well
deserved the fortune I had met with: and would be of opinion, that all
the kindness of his future life would hardly be a sufficient reward for
my virtue, and make me amends for my sufferings.
My lady resolving to set out the next morning to return to her lord, my
master ordered every thing to be made ready for his doing the like to
Bedfordshire; and this evening our good neighbours will sup with us, to
take leave of my lady and us.
Wednesday night.
Nothing particular having passed at dinner or supper, but the most
condescending goodness, on my lady’s side, to me; and the highest
civilities from Mr. Peters’s family, from Lady Jones, from Sir Simon’s
family, etc. and reciprocal good wishes all around; and a promise
obtained from my benefactor, that he would endeavour to pass a
fortnight or three weeks in these parts, before the winter set in; I
shall conclude this day with observing, that I disposed of the money my
master was so good to put into my hands, in the manner he was pleased
to direct; and I gave Mrs. Jewkes hers in such a manner as highly
pleased her; and she wished me, with tears, all kinds of happiness; and
prayed me to forgive her all her wickedness to me, as she herself
called it. I begged leave of my master to present Mrs. Worden with five
guineas for a pair of gloves; which he said was well thought of.
I should have mentioned, that Miss Darnford and I agreed upon a
correspondence, which will be no small pleasure to me; for she is an
admirable young lady, whom I prefer to every one I have seen; and I
shall, I make no doubt, improve by her letters; for she is said to have
a happy talent in writing, and is well read, for so young a lady.
Saturday.
On Thursday morning my lady set out for her own seat; and my best
friend and I, attended by Mr. Colbrand, Abraham, and Thomas, for this
dear house. Her ladyship parted with her brother and me with great
tenderness, and made me promise to send her my papers; which I find she
intends to entertain Lady Betty with, and another lady or two, her
intimates, as also her lord; and hopes to find, as I believe, in the
reading of them, some excuse for her brother’s choice.
My dearest master has been all love and tenderness on the road, as he
is in every place, and on every occasion. And oh, what a delightful
change was this journey, to that which, so contrary to all my wishes,
and so much to my apprehensions, carried me hence to the Lincolnshire
house! And how did I bless God at every turn, and at every stage!
We did not arrive here till yesterday noon. Abraham rode before, to let
them know we were coming: and I had the satisfaction to find every body
there I wished to see.
When the chariot entered the court-yard, I was so strongly impressed
with the favour and mercies of God Almighty, on remembering how I was
sent away the last time I saw this house; the leave I took; the dangers
I had encountered; a poor cast-off servant girl; and now returning a
joyful wife, and the mistress, through his favour, of the noble house I
was turned out of; that I was hardly able to support the joy I felt in
my mind on the occasion. He saw how much I was moved, and tenderly
asked me, Why I seemed so affected? I told him, and lifted his dear
hand to my lips, and said, O sir! God’s mercies, and your goodness to
me on entering this dear, dear place, are above my expression; I can
hardly bear the thoughts of them!—He said, Welcome, thrice welcome, joy
of my life! to your own house; and kissed my hand in return. All the
common servants stood at the windows, as unseen as they could, to
observe us. He took my hand, with the most condescending goodness in
the world; and, with great complaisance, led me into the parlour, and
kissed me with the greatest ardour. Welcome again, my dearest life!
said he, a thousand times welcome to the possession of a house that is
not more mine than yours!
I threw myself at his feet: Permit me, dear sir, thus to bless God, and
thank you, for all his mercies and your goodness. O may I so behave, as
not to be utterly unworthy; and then how happy shall I be! God give me,
my dearest, said he, life and health to reward all your sweetness! and
no man can be so blest as I.
Where (said he to Abraham, who passed by the door), where is Mrs.
Jervis?—She bolted in: Here, good sir! said she; here, good madam! am
I, waiting impatiently, till called for, to congratulate you both.—I
ran to her, and clasped my arms about her neck, and kissed her; O my
dear Mrs. Jervis! said I, my other dear mother! receive your happy,
happy Pamela; and join with me to bless God, and bless our master, for
all these great things!—I was ready to sink in her arms through excess
of joy, to see the dear good woman, who had been so often a mournful
witness of my distress, as now of my triumph.—Dearest madam, said she,
you do me too much honour. Let my whole life shew the joy I take in
your deserved good fortune, and in my duty to you, for the early
instance I received of your goodness in your kind letter. O Mrs.
Jervis! replied I, there all thanks are due, both from you and me: for
our dear master granted me this blessing, as I may justly call it, the
very first moment I begged it of him. Your goodness, sir, said she, I
will for ever acknowledge; and I beg pardon for the wrong step I made
in applying to my Lady Davers.—He was so good as to salute her, and
said, All is over now, Mrs. Jervis; and I shall not remember you ever
disobliged me. I always respected you, and shall now more and more
value you, for the sake of that dear good creature, whom, with joy
unfeigned, I can call my wife. God bless your honour for ever! said
she; and many many happy years may ye live together, the envy and
wonder of all who know you!
But where, said my dear master, is honest Longman? and where is
Jonathan?—Come, Mrs. Jervis, said I, you shall shew me them, and all
the good folks, presently; and let me go up with you to behold the dear
apartments, which I have seen before with such different emotions to
what I shall now do.
We went up; and in every room, the chamber I took refuge in, when my
master pursued me, my lady’s chamber, her dressing-room, Mrs. Jervis’s
room, not forgetting her closet, my own little bed-chamber, the
green-room, and in each of the others, I blessed God for my past
escapes, and present happiness; and the good woman was quite affected
with the zeal and pleasure with which I made my thankful
acknowledgments to the divine goodness. O my excellent lady! said she,
you are still the same good, pious, humble soul I knew you; and your
marriage has added to your graces, as I hope it will to your blessings.
Dear Mrs. Jervis, said I, you know not what I have gone through! You