Plutarch's Morals
husbands to their wives is far more likely to come out and be known to
the public than the ill-doings of wives to their husbands.
Sec. XLIV. They say the cat is driven mad by the smell of perfumes. If it
happens that wives are equally affected by perfumes, it is monstrous
that their husbands should not abstain from using perfumes, rather than
for so small a pleasure to incommode so grievously their wives. And
since they suffer quite as much when their husbands go with other women,
it is unjust for a small pleasure to pain and grieve wives, and not to
abstain from connection with other women, when even bee-keepers will do
as much, because bees are supposed to dislike and sting those that have
had dealings with women.
Sec. XLV. Those that approach elephants do not dress in white, nor those
that approach bulls in red, for these colours render those animals
savage; and tigers they say at the beating of drums go quite wild, and
tear themselves in their rage. Similarly, as some men cannot bear to see
scarlet and purple dresses, and others are put out by cymbals and
drums,[183] what harm would it do wives to abstain from these things,
and not to vex or provoke husbands, but to live with them quietly and
meekly?
Sec. XLVI. A woman said to Philip, who against her will was pulling her
about, "Let me go, all women are alike when the lamp is put out."[184] A
good remark to adulterers and debauchees. But the married woman ought to
show when the light is put out that she is not like all other women, for
then, when her body is not visible, she ought to exhibit her chastity
and modesty as well as her personal affection to her husband.
Sec. XLVII. Plato[185] recommended old men to act with decorum especially
before young men, that they too might show respect to them; for where
the old behave shamelessly, no modesty or reverence will be exhibited by
the young. The husband ought to remember this, and show no one more
respect than his wife, knowing that the bridal chamber will be to her
either a school of virtue or of vice. And he who enjoys pleasures that
he forbids his wife, is like a man that orders his wife to go on
fighting against an enemy to whom he has himself surrendered.
Sec. XLVIII. As to love of show, Eurydice, read and try to remember what
was written by Timoxena to Aristylla: and do you, Pollianus, not suppose
that your wife will abstain from extravagance and expense, if she sees
that you do not despise such vanities in others, but delight in gilt
cups, and pictures in houses, and trappings for mules, and ornaments for
horses. For it is not possible to banish extravagance from the women's
side of the house if it is always to be seen in the men's apartments.
Moreover, Pollianus, as you are already old enough for the study of
philosophy, adorn your character by its teaching, whether it consists of
demonstration or constructive reasoning, by associating and conversing
with those that can profit you. And for your wife gather honey from
every quarter, as the bees do, and whatever knowledge you have yourself
acquired impart to her, and converse with her, making the best arguments
well known and familiar to her. For now
"Father thou art to her, and mother dear,
And brother too."[186]
And no less decorous is it to hear the wife say, "Husband, you are my
teacher and philosopher and guide in the most beautiful and divine
subjects." For such teaching in the first place detaches women from
absurdities: for the woman who has learnt geometry will be ashamed to
dance, nor will she believe in incantations and spells, if she has been
charmed by the discourses of Plato and Xenophon; and if anyone should
undertake to draw the moon down from the sky, she will laugh at the
ignorance and stupidity of women that credit such nonsense, well
understanding geometry, and having heard how Aglaonice, the daughter of
the Thessalian Hegetor, having a thorough knowledge of the eclipses of
the moon, and being aware beforehand of the exact time when the moon
would be in eclipse, cheated the women, and persuaded them that she
herself had drawn it down from the sky. For no woman was ever yet
credited with having had a child without intercourse with a man, for
those shapeless embryos and gobbets of flesh that take form from
corruption are called moles. We must guard against such false
conceptions as these arising in the minds of women, for if they are not
well informed by good precepts, and share in the teaching that men get,
they generate among themselves many foolish and absurd ideas and states
of mind. But do you, Eurydice, study to make yourself acquainted with
the sayings of wise and good women, and ever have on your tongue those
sentiments which as a girl you learnt with us, that so you may make your
husband's heart glad, and be admired by all other women, being in
yourself so wonderfully and splendidly adorned. For one cannot take or
put on, except at great expense, the jewels of this or that rich woman,
or the silk dresses of this or that foreign woman, but the virtues that
adorned Theano,[187] and Cleobuline, and Gorgo the wife of Leonidas, and
Timoclea the sister of Theagenes, and the ancient Claudia,[188] and
Cornelia the sister of Scipio,[189] and all other such noble and famous
women, these one may array oneself in without money and without price,
and so adorned lead a happy and famous life. For if Sappho plumed
herself so much on the beauty of her lyrical poetry as to write to a
certain rich woman, "You shall lie down in your tomb, nor shall there be
any remembrance of you, for you have no part in the roses of Pieria,"
how shall you not have a greater right to plume yourself on having a
part not in the roses but in the fruits which the Muses bring, and which
they freely bestow on those that admire learning and philosophy?[190]
[154] This tune is again alluded to by Plutarch in
"Quaestion. Convival.", p. 704, F. See also Clemens
Alexandrinus, "Paedagog." ii. p. 164, [Greek: A tais de
hippois mignumenais oion hymenaios epauleitai nomos
aulodias hippothoron touton keklekasin oi Mousikoi.]
[155] Peitho means Persuasion, and is represented as one
of the Graces by Hermes anax. See Pausanias, ix. 35.
[156] Compare the Proverb [Greek: Eikelos omphakizetai],
and Tibullus, iii. 5, 19: "Quid fraudare juvat vitem
crescentibus uvis?"
[157] Cf. Shakspere, "Romeo and Juliet," A. ii. Sc. vi.
9-15.
[158] Herodotus, i. 8.
[159] An allusion to the well-known Fable of AEsop, No.
82 in Halm's edition.
[160] This comparison of the mirror is beautifully used
by Keble in his "Christian Year:"
"Without a hope on earth to find
A mirror in an answering mind."
_Wednesday before Easter._
[161] Does this throw light on Esther, i. 10-12?
[162] By their patronage.
[163] "Republic," v. p. 462, C.
[164] By the power of sympathy. This is especially true
of eyes. Wyttenbach compares the Epigram in the
Anthology, i. 46. 9. [Greek: Kai gar dexion omma
kakoumenon ommati laio Pollaki tous idious antididosi
ponous.]
[165] Reading [Greek: kalon] with Hercher.
[166] The ancients hardly ever drank wine neat. Hence
the allusion. The symposiarch, or arbiter bibendi,
settled the proportions to be used.
[167] Compare the French proverb, "Le beau soulier
blesse souvent le pied."
[168] Thessaly was considered by the ancients famous for
enchantments and spells. So Juvenal, vi. 610, speaks of
"Thessala philtia," and see Horace, "Odes," i. 27. 21,
22; "Epodes," v. 45.
[169] Wyttenbach well compares the lines of Menander:--
[Greek: enest alethes philtron eugnomon tropos, touto
katakratein andros eiothen gune.]
[170] An allusion to Homer, "Iliad," xiv. 214-217.
[171] Called by the Romans "pronuba Juno." See Verg.
"AEneid," iv. 166; Ovid, "Heroides," vi. 43.
[172] See Pausanias, vi. 25. The statue was made of
ivory and gold.
[173] Compare Terence, "Hecyra," 201. "Uno animo omnes
socrus oderunt nurus." As to stepmotherly feelings, the
"injusta noverca" has passed into a proverb with all
nations. See for example Hesiod, "Works and Days," 823,
[Greek: allote metruie pelei hemere, allote meter].
[174] Wyttenbach compares Seneca's "Fidelem si putaveris
facies." "Ep." iii. p. 6.
[175] Euripides, "Medea," 190-198.
[176] Homer, "Iliad," xiv. 205, 209.
[177] See Mulier Parturiens, Phaedrus' "Fables," i. 18.
[178] Euripides, "Andromache," 930.
[179] Proverb. Cf. Horace, "Oleum adde camino," ii.
"Sat." iii. 321.
[180] See AEsop's Fables, No. 121. Halme. [Greek:
Drapetes] is the title. All readers of Plautus and
Terence know what a bugbear to slaves the threat of
being sent to the mill was. They would have to turn it
instead of horses, or other cattle.
[181] That is, _Yoking oxen for the plough_.
[182] Procreation of children was among the ancients
frequently called _Ploughing_ and _Sowing_. Hence the
allusions in this paragraph. So, too, Shakspere,
"Measure for Measure," Act i. Sc. iv. 41-44.
[183] The reference is to the rites of Cybele. See
Lucretius, ii. 618.
[184] See Erasmus, "Adagia." The French proverb is "La
nuit tous les chats sont gris."
[185] "Laws," p. 729, C.
[186] From the words of Andromache to Hector, "Iliad,"
vi. 429, 430.
[187] Theano was the wife of Pythagoras.
[188] See Livy, xxix. 14. Propertius, v. 11. 51, 52.
Ovid, "Fasti," iv. 305 sq.
[189] And mother of the Gracchi.
[190] Jeremy Taylor, in his beautiful sermon on "The
Marriage Ring," has borrowed not a few hints from this
treatise of Plutarch, as usual investing with a new
beauty whatever he borrows, from whatever source. He had
the classics at his fingers' end, and much of his unique
charm he owes to them. But he read them as a
philosopher, and not as a grammarian.
CONSOLATORY LETTER TO HIS WIFE.
Sec. I. Plutarch to his wife sends greeting. The messenger that you sent to
me to announce the death of our little girl seems to have missed his way
_en route_ for Athens; but when I got to Tanagra I heard the news from
my niece. I suppose the funeral has already taken place, and I hope
everything went off so as to give you least sorrow both now and
hereafter. But if you left undone anything you wished to do, waiting for
my opinion, and thinking your grief would then be lighter, be it without
ceremoniousness or superstition, both which things are indeed foreign to
your character.
Sec. II. Only, my dear wife, let us both be patient at this calamity. I
know and can see very clearly how great it is, but should I find your
grief too excessive, it would trouble me even more than the event
itself. And yet I have not a heart hard as heart of oak or flintstone,
as you yourself know very well, who have shared with me in the bringing
up of so many children, as they have all been educated at home by
ourselves. And this one I know was more especially beloved by you, as
she was the first daughter after four sons, when you longed for a
daughter, and so I gave her your name.[191] And as you are very fond of
children your grief must have a peculiar bitterness when you call to
mind her pure and simple gaiety, which was without a tincture of passion
or querulousness. For she had from nature a wonderful contentedness of
mind and meekness, and her affectionateness and winning ways not only
pleased one but also afforded a means of observing her kindliness of
heart, for she used to bid her nurse[192] give the teat not only to