Plutarch's Morals
insolence, and jeering, and mocking, and ribaldry, which are the evil
seasonings of freedom of speech. For as, when the surgeon performs an
operation, a certain neatness and delicacy of touch ought to accompany
his use of the knife, but all pantomimic and venturesome and fashionable
suppleness and over-finicalness ought to be far away from his hand, so
freedom of speech admits of dexterity and politeness, provided that a
pleasant way of putting it does not destroy the power of the rebuke, for
impudence and coarseness and insolence, if added to freedom of speech,
entirely mar and ruin the effect. And so the harper plausibly and
elegantly silenced Philip, who ventured to dispute with him about proper
playing on the harp, by answering him, "God forbid that you should be so
unfortunate, O king, as to understand harping better than me." But that
was not a right answer of Epicharmus, when Hiero a few days after
putting to death some of his friends invited him to supper, "You did not
invite me," he said, "the other day, when you sacrificed your friends."
Bad also was that answer of Antiphon, who, when Dionysius asked him
"which was the best kind of bronze," answered, "That of which the
Athenians made statues of Harmodius and Aristogiton." For this
unpleasant and bitter kind of language profits not those that use it,
nor does scurrility and puerile jesting please, but such kind of
speeches are indications of an incontinent tongue inspired by hate, and
full of malignity and insolence, and those who use such language do but
ruin themselves, recklessly dancing on the verge of a well.[452] For
Antiphon was put to death by Dionysius, and Timagenes lost the
friendship of Augustus, not by using on any occasion too free a tongue,
but at supper-parties and walks always declining to talk seriously,
"only saying what he knew would make the Argives laugh,"[453] and thus
virtually charging friendship with being only a cloak for abuse. For
even the comic poets have introduced on the stage many grave sentiments
well adapted to public life, but joking and ribaldry being mixed with
them, like insipid sauces with food, destroy their effect and make them
lose their nourishing power, so that the comic poets only get a
reputation for malignity and coarseness, and the audience get no benefit
from what is said. We may on other occasions jest and laugh with our
friends, but let our outspokenness be coupled with seriousness and
gravity, and if it be on important matters, let our speech be
trustworthy and moving from its pathos, and animation, and tone of
voice. And on all occasions to let an opportunity slip by is very
injurious, but especially does it destroy the usefulness of freedom of
speech. It is plain therefore that we must abstain from freedom of
speech when men are in their cups. For he disturbs the harmony of a
social gathering[454] who, in the midst of mirth and jollity, introduces
a topic that shall knit the brows and contract the face, and shall act
as a damper to the Lysian[455] god, who, as Pindar says, "looses the
rope of all our cares and anxieties." There is also great danger in such
ill-timed freedom of speech. For wine makes people easily slip into
rage, and oftentimes freedom of speech in liquor makes enemies. And
generally speaking it is not noble or brave but cowardly to conceal your
ideas when people are sober and to give free vent to them at table,
snarling like cowardly dogs. We need say no more therefore on this head.
Sec. XXVIII. But since many people do not think fit or even dare to find
fault with their friends when in prosperity, but think that condition
altogether out of the reach and range of rebuke, but inveigh against
them if they have made a slip or stumble, and trample upon them if they
are in dejection and in their power, and, like a stream swollen above
its banks, pour upon them then the torrent of all their eloquence,[456]
and enjoy and are glad at their reverse of fortune, owing to their
former contempt of them when they were poor themselves, it is not amiss
to discuss this somewhat, and to answer those words of Euripides,
"What need of friends, when things go well with us?"[457]
for those in prosperity stand in especial need of friends who shall be
outspoken to them, and abate their excessive pride. For there are few
who are sensible in prosperity, most need to borrow wisdom from others,
and such considerations as shall keep them lowly when puffed up and
giving themselves airs owing to their good fortune. But when the deity
has abased them and stripped them of their conceit, there is something
in their very circumstances to reprove them and bring about a change of
mind. And so there is no need then of a friendly outspokenness, nor of
weighty or caustic words, but truly in such reverses "it is sweet to
look into the eyes of a friendly person,"[458] consoling and cheering
one up: as Xenophon[459] tells us that the sight of Clearchus in battle
and dangers, and his calm benevolent face, inspired courage in his men
when in peril. But he who uses to a man in adversity too great freedom
and severity of speech, like a man applying too pungent a remedy to an
inflamed and angry eye, neither cures him nor abates his pain, but adds
anger to his grief, and exasperates his mental distress. For example
anyone well is not at all angry or fierce with a friend, who blames him
for his excesses with women and wine, his laziness and taking no
exercise, his frequent baths, and his unseasonable surfeiting: but to a
person ill all this is unsufferable, and even worse than his illness to
hear, "All this has happened to you through your intemperance, and
luxury, your dainty food, and love for women." The patient answers, "How
unseasonable is all this, good sir! I am making my will, the doctors are
preparing me a dose of castor and scammony, and you are scolding me and
plying me with philosophy." And thus the affairs of the unfortunate do
not admit of outspokenness and a string of Polonius-like saws, but they
require kindness and help. For when children fall down their nurses do
not run up to them and scold, but pick them up, and clean them, and tidy
their dress, and afterwards find fault and correct them. The story is
told of Demetrius of Phalerum, when an exile from his native country,
and living a humble and obscure life at Thebes, that he was not pleased
to see Crates approaching, for he expected to receive from him cynical
outspokenness and harsh language. But as Crates talked kindly to him,
and discussed his exile, and pointed out that there was no evil in it,
or anything that ought to put him about, for he had only got rid of the
uncertainties and dangers of public life, and at the same time bade him
trust in himself and his condition of mind, Demetrius cheered up and
became happier, and said to his friends, "Out upon all my former
business and employments, that left me no leisure to know such a man as
this!"
"For friendly speech is good to one in grief,
While bitter language only suits the fool."[460]
This is the way with generous friends. But the ignoble and low
flatterers of those in prosperity, as Demosthenes says fractures and
sprains always give us pain again when the body is not well,[461] adhere
to them in reverses, as if they were pleased at and enjoyed them. But
indeed if there be any need of reminding a man of the blunders he
committed through unadvisedly following his own counsel, it is enough to
say, "This was not to my mind, indeed I often tried to dissuade you from
it."[462]
Sec. XXIX. In what cases then ought a friend to be vehement, and when ought
he to use emphatic freedom of language? When circumstances call upon him
to check some headlong pleasure or rage or insolence, or to curtail
avarice, or to correct some foolish negligence. Thus Solon spoke out to
Croesus, who was corrupted and enervated by insecure good fortune,
bidding him look to the end.[463] Thus Socrates restrained Alcibiades,
and wrung from him genuine tears by his reproof, and changed his
heart.[464] Such also was the plain dealing of Cyrus with Cyaxares, and
of Plato with Dion, for when Dion was most famous and attracted to
himself the notice of all men, by the splendour and greatness of his
exploits, Plato warned him to fear and be on his guard against "pleasing
only himself, for so he would lose all his friends."[465] Speusippus
also wrote to him not to plume himself on being a great person only with
lads and women, but to see to it that by adorning Sicily with piety and
justice and good laws he might make the Academy glorious. On the other
hand Euctus and Eulaeus, companions of Perseus, in the days of his
prosperity ingratiated themselves with him, and assented to him in all
things, and danced attendance upon him, like all the other courtiers,
but when he fled after his defeat by the Romans at Pydna, they attacked
him and censured him bitterly, reminding him and upbraiding him in
regard to everything he had done amiss or neglected to do, till he was
so greatly exasperated both from grief and rage that he whipped out his
sword and killed both of them.
Sec. XXX. Let so much suffice for general occasions of freedom of speech.
There are also particular occasions, which our friends themselves
furnish, that one who really cares for his friends will not neglect, but
make use of. In some cases a question, or narrative, or the censure or
praise of similar things in other people, gives as it were the cue for
freedom of speech. Thus it is related that Demaratus came to Macedonia
from Corinth at the time when Philip was at variance with his wife and
son, and when the king asked if the Greeks were at harmony with one
another, Demaratus, being his well-wisher and friend, answered, "It is
certainly very rich of you, Philip, inquiring as to concord between the
Athenians and Peloponnesians, when you don't observe that your own house
is full of strife and variance."[466] Good also was the answer of
Diogenes, who, when Philip was marching to fight against the Greeks,
stole into his camp, and was arrested and brought before him, and the
king not recognizing him asked if he was a spy, "Certainly," replied he,
"Philip, I have come to spy out your inconsiderate folly, which makes
you, under no compulsion, come here and hazard your kingdom and life on
a moment's[467] cast of the die." This was perhaps rather too strong a
remark.
Sec. XXXI. Another suitable time for reproof is when people have been
abused by others for their faults, and have consequently become humble,
and abated their pride. The man of tact will ingeniously seize the
occasion, checking and baffling those that used the abuse, but privately
speaking seriously to his friend, and reminding him, that he ought to be
more careful if for no other reason than to take off the edge of his
enemies' satire. He will say, "How can they open their mouths against
you, or what can they urge, if you give up and abandon what you get this
bad name about?" Thus pain comes only from abuse, but profit from
reproof. And some correct their friends more daintily by blaming
others; censuring others for what they know are their friends' faults.
Thus my master Ammonius in afternoon school, noticing that some of his
pupils had not dined sufficiently simply, bade one of his freedmen
scourge his own son, charging him with being unable to get through his
dinner without vinegar,[468] but in acting thus he had an eye to us, so
that this indirect rebuke touched the guilty persons.
Sec. XXXII. We must also beware of speaking too freely to a friend in the
company of many people, remembering the well-known remark of Plato. For
when Socrates reproved one of his friends too vehemently in a discussion
at table, Plato said, "Would it not have been better to have said this